Howdy! You must login or signup first!

230 of 245 people (94%) found this review helpful 11 people found this review funny Recommended 26.7 hrs last two weeks/308.5 hrs on record WHENITS DARK OUTSIDE Posted: Nov 24, 2014 12:56am Updated: Nov 24, 2014 12:59am I was brought before the devil.. He peered at me with his glowing yellow eyes, echoing greed across the craven cavern. Or rather, I was cravenly, for I had been presented to Satan himself But I held fast, knowing these might be my last words I may ever speak again View Store Page View Community Hub Find More Like This Let's make a deal, you son of a▼▼▼▼▼ The devil smirked, for he had made a million handshakes over a million deals, and this one would be no different. Men had cowardly traded their souls for greed, power, women. What would be the predictable request of this one? Speak. I gulped, for gulping was quite the only appropriate response. Hesitantly, I returned fire Half Life 3. You give me Half Life 3, and I give you my soul." The lord of hellfire stroked his mangled beard. A proposition so ridiculous, there was certainly a string attached loosely, but a string Satan himself wanted to attach Too easy. Your soul? Please. I have billions upon billions." I recoiled, then fired back. Then what do you have in mind? Satan once again gave his beard a tug, deep in thought. He carefully perused his mind for ideas, then rested upon one only he could conjure up. A nightmare so nightmarish that a nightmare would never hold a candle You will get your Half Life. I will promise that. But you will do something for me." "... Yes. Yes, what do you want? You will play a game that few play, a jewel lost in the desert of Steam. You will make a pilgrimage. You will play Pajama Sam. You will be afraid of the dark that shrouds the outside, you will quiver and hide in terror." I stumbled backwards, jumbling and fumbling, I could not comprehend his request. It was that of a villain, a villain who could be none other than the demon who guards the gates of Hell Very well, and if I don't?" I will take your soul at this very moment, and that will be the end of it. You will never see Gordon Freeman wield a crowbar ever again." So what, I just play this stupid game and get Half Life 3?" The devil smirked, for tricks and turns were his finely tuned speciality No, it is not the mere act of playing, but the act of dedication, of concentration, of disassociated delusion I put my foot forward, taking part no more in his babbling Enough riddles, demon. Explain what I must do. A long pause seperated the two for what could have been an entire eternity One thousand hours. You will play Pajama Sam for a thousand hours." I think he wanted to break me. I knew he wanted to break me. But I had come this far, and would not be beat. It's a deal," The fallen angel adopted an expression of absolute shock. Excuse me?" Ifirmly restated my position "It's a deal, you son of a .I will put in my time. I will conquer this game again, and again, and again, a thousand agains until the time count brings you to your knees. You're a fool." "No. You see, I'm not afraid. I won't hide." You won't hide?" Not when it's dark outside." Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny

+12

Image #908,089


Uploaded by SonicLover Feb 02, 2015 at 04:21PM EST

Share Pin Download More

Origin Entry: Steam User Reviews

File type: png

Resolution: (920px x 1573px)

File size: 385 KB


13 people found this review helpful 9 people found this review funny Recommended 1.7 hrs last two weeks / 1.7 hrs on record (0.1 hrs at review time) Posted: 22 Oct @ 7:06am Just remember, never Google Sonic X shadow never SONIC SHADOW GENERATIONS ny Award
159 people found this review helpfula 5 273 people found this review funny Recommended 0.0 hrs last two weeks / 51.4 hrs on recor Posted: 25 Jul, 2021 @ 8:28pm Updated: 25 Jul, 2021 @ 8:30pm 2116 Mini Motorways Mini Motorways takes place in a post-dystopian world where people have been segregated by color. Not just of their skin, but anything ranging from the cars they drive to the buildings they frequent. Despite all the color, it's a sad careless world where the only concern is to get to your destination as fast as possible, crossing rivers and mountains never once stopping to smell the fresh air. My guess is Jeff Bezos must be in charge of this society, and that's the reason why failing to deliver packages on time from the amazon depots results in a timer, once it reaches zero you die. What is everyone ordering every second of every day of the week? I have no idea but it must be as addicting as this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game which kept me awake for several days now. Screw you bezos Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny Award
217 people found this review helpful 63 13 314 people found this review funny Not Recommended 0.0 hrs last two weeks / 0.2 hrs on record Posted: 7 Dec, 2022 @ 8:39am Updated: 24 Nov, 2023 @ 10:38am False game name advertisement, did not have intercourse with Adolf Hitler. Don't waste your time playing this junk F--- HITLER Award
View All 671 Images

Load 3 Comments

Moar:

+ Add an Image

Image Details

764 views (2 from today)

Uploaded Feb 02, 2015 at 04:21PM EST

Origin Entry

Steam User Reviews

Tags

steam, pajama sam, no need to hide when it's dark outside, funny steam reviews, three screenshots stitched together in an image editor, i wish there were a way to screencap the whole thing at once, lengthy prose masquerading as a review

Claim Authorship Edit History
Textile Embed