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EDITION Monday FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE MAN WALKS ON F------ MOON NEIL ARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: HOLY LIVING F--- THE MOON esus f------ | down in the moon's low-gravity The distant, lonely, mysterious colleague on the lunar surface. mankind since the dawn of time ecstatic Aldrin said, pumping astronauts Neil Armstrong and"It's like I told you on the way down on the Sea of Tranquility his shipmate. "Remember?I told in the lunar module Eagle and you this was going to be f------ radioed back to Earth the his- amazing. Armstrong and Aldrin then you-on-your-ass resplendence of made final technical and psy-their situation before returning chological preparations for the to the capsule Their intense 18 un-f-------believableness o month NASA training period- the next phase of the operation, the primary function of which was to train the pair to deal with Above: Neil Armstrong on the surface of the f------ moon. sion, Armstrong slowly descend- sion-proved effective, though ed the four steps leading out of at one point Armstrong had to one small but epoch-making breaths, "just so I don't f------ "Holyving fuek Are youThe two were able to keep from NASA headquarters nearly rock samples, which earthbound cking-lutely am standing on could not even begin to f------ goddamned f------ moon. Jesus American flag n the ground "Holy mother of f---," the first part: This plaque, placed here Roger, no fueking doubt aboutfrom he planet around which TRANQUILITY: It was a smooth The Earth as seen from-Holy Jesus-the surface of the moon. tu the surface of the f------ moon. conceive Lunar Module footpads de-ving (long pause) f---. (Long Lovell replied. "A-f-------firrest undisturbed on this spot for the next 100 million years. High Eight minutes ater, as Arm holy liing f---. Can you believe hook up Lunar Equipmentpause.) H-------- strong gleefully bounced up and that s---?" ressed one or two inches. TRANQUILITY: I abso-f------- Platftorm lined up. checking step, and im.e Puck. (eng face of the f------ moon. I a WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE HOUSTO)W. Everything okay. oldating. dakineg f------ mon sMOON, BUT WE CAN'T BOMB TRANQUILITY: Am descending pause.) tusiyoNi Siey. ower (ongHoUSTroiolyhickt basikA TINY ASIAN NATION INTO THE STONE AGE?

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