Opportunity to do the funniest thing ever. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

28 KB JPG > Sleep.exe > Be me > Be frequent 4chan user > Use reddit often as well because I don't want to live here my whole life > Post green text > Post it on reddit > Wake up and check reddit > 5 upvotes > WotBlud.jpeg > Check on hot posts > See my green text posted a hour after mine > 1.3k upvotes There is no way to succeed on the internet

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Treffen sich 2 Jäger sind beide tot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)18:14:33 No.184255728 Translate a joke from your country 12 KB JPG : Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:05:43 No. 184257583 Two hunters meet. Both are dead. >>184257927 # >>184258192 # >>184258442 # Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:14:41 No.184257927 >>184257583 # >behold the peak of german comedy >>184258089 #

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A NEW HOPE | /r/Greentext

THIS IS WHERE THE FUN BEGINS. >BE very strong Jedi. >Be chosen one. >Years of service for current employer. >Constantly disrespect. >Constantly disregarded. >Insulted on highest level meetings. >Shoulder responsibility equal to founders. >Get headhunted by direct competitor. >Better salary, more benefits including health care, higher position. >Put in resignation with current employer. >Current employer in shambles. Taking it far to personal and not professional. >New employer wants me to lay off the interns while on my notice periods with employer. >Go lay off interns. >Interns call me "Master" >Shock.jpg *All I wanted to be called Master* >Chosen One.exe >Decide to form a new start up... call it "A new hope" >Offer regular employment and regular salaried payment scheme to interns. >Both previous employers engaged is heated smear campaign. >Losign market cap fast. >Achieve market monopoly as competitors took eqchother out. >??? >Profit.

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Anon tries Gundam | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me 01/05/19(Sat)17:59:31 No.789187768 >talking to weird girl on the internet >says she likes gundam >says i should try it >next day >go to japanese store and buy a model kit 190 KB JPG >its fun >build it >ffw a few weeks >built a few kits >go to gundam reddit >its all a bunch of awful memes about a show thats 30 years old >decide to join discord >people get mad whenever i spell model names wrong >are obsessed with plot >say i need to watch 30 anime series to comprehend anything >get bored one day >say the fan favorite mech is a ripoff of the iron man hulkbuster >all hell breaks loose >30 messages in a minute >get banned >get friend requests, and accept them out of curiousity >gundam fans are threatening to find where i live and kill me if i don't take back what I said >feels good Gundam tardom is real

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De Gaul ruling over Gaul | /r/Greentext

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

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Anon is hopeful | /r/Greentext

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon gives diet advice | /r/Greentext

File: the-huge-cucumber.jpg (73 KB, 620x760) Post low calorie foods that keep the hunger at bay before bed Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)00:09:52 No.75441591 ►>>75441612 >>75441640 >>75441646 >>75441722 >>75441870 >>75441875 >fills you up just enough >hydrates you >tastes pretty good >less than 50 calories >can put up your ass to masturbate with take the cucumberpill >> 26 Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)00:14:16 No.75441612 >>75441629 >>75441684 >>75441690 >>75441698 >>75441719 >>75441591 (OP) >can put up your ass to masturbate with I actually tried this and it's very scary. I have very tight a------ and accidentally clenched down too hard and crushed the cucumber and it broke off inside me. Good thing I had it in a condom otherwise it would have been another embarrassing trip to ER. Would not recommend. Carrot is harder and superior. Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)00:19:44 No.75441629 >>75441612 i got 7 inches of girth cucumber up their once, it hurt the whole time even during warm up, i don't know why i did it. i was p--- addicted, i don't do anything with my bum anymore

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Anon is a perfectionist | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6709.jpg (882 KB, 1242x951) Can't keep a relationship Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)10:42:58 No.79424492 >Have toptier looks >if I see any flaw on a chick, I just get the ick kek. I literally have to brute force myself to TRY to ignore flaws >on top of that, I can't get horny in front of women (no, I'm not gay). It's like I think to myself "those boobs could have been bigger" etc. >Can't converse with their low IQ b------- either. Their interests suck >I hate all the small women s--- they do. For example when they brush their hair or whatever. You know what I mean. Just women quirks >hate their retarded shows too >they can be 99% perfect and my brain will focus on that 1% I don't like about them >My brain wants perfection. I'm picky as s--- Every time a chick wants me, I always think "I'm settling. I can do far better than this". Because of this, I'm a virgin at 30. What the hell is wrong with me? >> Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)10:46:22 No.79424512 You are gay simple as. >> Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)11:10:05 No.79424647 >>79424647 >>79424512 I am NOT! But I went through hardcore trauma that I think caused brain damage >> SAGE 11/12/24(Tue)11:19:12 No.79424699 >> >>79424743 this is what having npd looks like by the way (listen and learn) Anonymous 11/12/24(Tue)11:27:10 No.79424743 >>79424699 I'm not gonna cap. I know I have it. I think it's ingrained into my DNA. I'm f-----. I'm too prideful. Too conceited. I've always been this way. I can't help it. I want to be a king. I've also always had a god complex too. I'm mentally ill as s---

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Anon has a special moment | /r/Greentext

100 KB JPG most retarded moments thread ? > be me > be 11 > in car with family heading home from county fair > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate

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How many good boy points is defeating an alien invasion? | /r/Greentext

File: 1686777174440544.jpg (21 KB, 474x355) HAMMOND Anonymous (ID: pewD7+Np) 06/15/23(Thu)09:41:06 No.430719012 >>430719333 >>430719468 >>430720515 >>430721143 >>430721167 >>430721245 >>430721284 >>430721648 >>430723326 >>430723509 >>430725116 >>430725201 >>430725261 >>430725395 >>430727323 >>430727359 >>430727454 >>430727465 >>430727523 >>430727637 >>430727661 >>430727837 >>430727859 >>430727899 >>430727946 >>430728062 >>430728082 >>430728166 >>430728167 >>430729358 >>430731456 >>430731840 >>430733567 >>430733983 >>430737295 >>430737324 >>430737365 >>430737369 >>430737476 >>430738220 >>430738616 >>430739073 >>430739579 >>430739667 >>430739748 >>430739830 >>430741122 >>430741447 >>430741724 >>430741727 >>430741782 >>430741857 >"hello is this anon"? >"good good we have been looking over your post history on 4chan" >"we would like to bring you to Fort Bragg on all expenses paid round trip you just need to answer some questions" >"no no its not about the jews its about the UFOs" what do you do?

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Anon does a little bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

File: 1728062305580775.jpg (81 KB, 470x595) Anonymous (ID: 171QqENB) 11/11/24(Mon)17:50:29 No.488138845 >offer citizenship to illegals who rat out other illegals >tell them the catch is, if someone rats on them first they have to then rat out 5 illegals to get out of deportation >don't actually give any of them citizenship, deport them all any flaws in this plan?

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Anon grieves for what could have been | /r/Greentext

Anonymous gnome but at the same time 11/11/24(Mon) 17:41:33 No.694334949 >no siblings because they all miscarried >loving sisterwife potentially died in the womb 29 KB JPG >>694335519 # >>694338759 # : Anonymou >>6943347 Do you eat >>694335171 # Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon) 18:30:50 No.694338759 >>694334949 # >mourn your miscarried siblings because there was a microscopic chance you could have f----- one of Anonymou them I gotta admit that's the funniest edge >>6943347 I have read in a while on here. >jews hate

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Anon is lost | /r/Greentext

71,146,679 votes 270 electoral 74,675,378 votes (48.0%) votes to win (50.3%) + IMG_1554.jpg 647 KB JPG How the f--- did he win so hard? Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)08:32:11 No.205584381 >>205584404 # >>205584478 # : Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)08:32:54 No.205584404 >>205584854 # >>205584947 # >>205585054 # : Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)08:33:06 No.205584407 >>205584994 # : Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)08:33:42 No.205584431 8181 What does any of this have to do with television & film? 215 KB PNG >>205584458 # >>205584588 #

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