Anon buys a brand new TV and faces the consequences of living in the United States | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Dode :Rest at bonfire Flask >just get a tv bro 1729090426677034.jpg 87 KB JPG Anonymous BATTING IN 26 HOURS SHOHEI OHTANI 10/16/24(Wed)19:53:21 No.102846945 >>102846929 (OP) # uh why is there a baseball player in the corner? >>102846953 # >>102852969 # >>102853515 # >>102855119 # Anonymous10/16/24(Wed)19:54:10 No.102846953 >>102846945 # New Dark Souls boss. 02846949

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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Anon goes for judo lessons | /r/Greentext

File: Nagatoroo.png (261 KB, 379x544) ☐ Judo Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat) 15:51:00 No.79175000 >>79175019 >be me at 15 years old >i've just started practicing judo, obviously i'm a white belt >i can't train properly so my sensei calls a girl and tells me to train with her because she's more experienced >anon, now we are going to train ne waza so follow me", that's what she said >ne waza are judo techniques performed on the ground >my mind is racing, I've never trained and touched a girl so close, especially one a bit older than me. >have no idea what ne waza was at that time, so I can't fight properly >there comes a moment when we're fighting and she's underneath me >I try to grab her collar but accidentally end up groping her boobs... >it was the first time I'd ever touched a girl's breasts >I was paralyzed and stayed in the same position for a while... >she got angry and turned me around and started to do an arm lock (the name of the technique was juji gatami if I'm not mistaken) on me >she said "if you have time to do what you did that's what you'll get" i never touched a girl's boobs ever again, i was traumatized but it feels good, do all women do that when you accidentally touch their breasts?

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Anon works out without his glasses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/09/13(Tue)11:08:42 UTC-4 No.19056535 Replies: >>19056641 >>19057097 >>19057488 >>19057762 >>19058744 File: 1365520122067.gif-(900 KB, 160x160, B1Svg.gif) >don't wear glasses while working out so they don't fall off/break/whatever >doing a heavy set of squatz >last 2 reps saying some "come on ahhh f------ get it" s--- >bald black dude sitting over in the other comer >"Oh hey sorry man I hope I wasn't too loud or anything" >walk closer >black guy was actually a pile of free weights

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Anon forgets the fact that the devs have changed after LiS 1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Double Exposure sucks LIFE STRANGE DOUBLE EXPOSURE 427 KB PNG 10/19/24(Sat) 01:40:42 No.692255437 >close friend is shot literally in front of her eyes >barely any grief >max's biggest worry is that her apartment isn't tidy when a friend visits to give her emotional support It's only been an hour. How can the writing take such a nosedive already?

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What /fit/izens do besides lifting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 75 05/25/22(Wed)05:30:16 No.66907640 >So tell me Anon, what other hobbies do you have besides lifting? 35 KB JPG : Anonymous being racist >>66907778 # 05/25/22(Wed)05:31:16 No.66907641

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Anon broke internet rules | /r/Greentext

File: pepe-the-frog-afraid.gif (101 KB, 640x640) Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)18:51:25 No.79168378 ► >be me 15, 4 years ago >love saying offensive things on the internet >was very edgy >favorite past time >eventually someone contacts my school with a whole file on just who I am >multiple accounts >horrible vile things I said >principal calls me in office >says name of account >face gets light headed and white >I feel wonky the rest of the day and uneasy > I ditched that account for a whole new one >keep saying horrible things on reddit >called back in days later >start telling the principal how I don't care and how I can say what I want online >he agrees >person emailing school threatens to come after me >school blocks email >I keep doing it and nothing happens

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Femanon searches for the perfect body pillow cover | /r/Greentext

File: pls.jpg (199 KB, 854x1148) cover i lost schizo dykebot 10/19/24(Sat) 04:02:27 No.79170076 >>79170913 >decide to shop around for daki covers because i need to replace one that got lost while moving house >99% of the options are anime children, furry art, hazbin hotel characters, meme s---, or bad art >the few characters that look over the age of 18 and seem decently rendered don't have sfw options >wind up re-purchasing the same >male insect creature creature that i can pretend is fem because he doesn't have his d--- out in the sfw version >both of the covers i own are male characters because i still can't find a non-pornographic adult female that is visually appealing and rendered well im going to lose it also, if you have a daki post it schizo dykebot 10/19/24(Sat) 04:05:01 No.79170099 >>79170588 File: gabrial2048_1024x1024.png (1.19 MB, 1024x1024) my current one, gabriel ultrakill. i only ever have the front side up because i do not like the back >>79170588 schizo dykebot 10/19/24(Sat) 04:06:20 No.79170107 File: Screenshot_20241018_16114(...).jpg (1.67 MB, 1511x2080) SFW/SFW the one i just re-purchased, garda the insect. i am very fond of bugs schizo dykebot 10/19/24(Sat) 04:11:07 No.79170155 >>79170588 >>79170174 File: Screenshot_20241018_16131(...).jpg (1.73 MB, 1594x2091) i also plan on getting this one of kos bloodborne after the garda one comes in

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Anon gets questioned by his friends | /r/Greentext

File: 1608129084483.jpg (181 KB, 1024x588) like anime and video game girls Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat)05:06:03 No.79170624 >>79170763 >>79170795 >>79170975 >normie "friends" ask why they never see me with girls >finally tell them I only >"MAN U LIKE THAT LITTLE GIRL CARTOON S---" >so stupid all I can do is shrug and baka >they don't talk to me anymore

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Anon Prefers Heath Ledger's Joker | /r/Greentext

File: bestjoker.png (1.74 MB, 1046x848) Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)11:17:33 No.204610875 >>204612228 >>204613100 >>204613949 >>204614515 >>204616836 nu/joker/ >"waa my mommy wasn't nice to me" >"waa I need female attention" >weak, skeleton physique >has no motive other than female approval best/joker/ >blows up hospital >refuses to elaborate Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)11:30:29 No.204611191 >>204611152 >>204611222 >>204613158 >How about a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil dissapear Nolan doesn't know the difference between a clown and a magician Anonymous 10/18/24(Fri)12:57:22 No.204613158 ►>>204813923 >>204616611 File: IMG_7120.jpg (199 KB, 1010x1010) >>204611191 >make a pencil disappeared thats cute lad, but I know a better trick

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Femanon talks to a guy online | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_7199.jpg (69 KB, 673x680) dont feel like talking to him Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat) 01:46:16 No.79168945 >>79168957 >>79168960 >>79168964 >>79168965 >>79168996 >>79169093 >be me, femanon >meet a boy online who lives near me and has similar interests >we get along well and hes really cute but i randomly ignore him for a few days whenever i >this upsets him and he is sensitive so he does the same >eventually, one night when were talking at like 3 am, he just says goodnight randomly >never talks to me again >i send text messages but he doesnt even open them, the read marker still says delivered >after a month of this i text his phone number asking why i was being ignored >the next morning i find out i got blocked on everything >suddenly become stalkerishly obsessed with him >make a new account just so that i could check his last online status >find all his online accounts so i could figure out who his friends were and what he says/posts online >lurk his accounts every single day for like 3 months >dm him on the alt account i made that i miss him and am sorry for ever doing anything to him that upset him >suddenly all his online activity stops >literally nothing got posted, his last online status stays stuck at Within the past week, eventually it becomes A long time ago >i get worried and dm all his friends asking about where he is >none of them know >1 year goes by, i still think about him every day >get the idea to google his name >first result is news article about a 26 year old who got arrested for cheese pizza >date article posted is the last day he had any activity online

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Anon thinks he has won | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1189.jpg (68 KB, 1015x1024) ☐ Anonymous 10/19/24(Sat)01:53:45 No.79169013 >be me >s----- office job >need to piss >>79169085 >bathrooms right across from each other >see female coworker is walking into bathroom at the same time >she says "I'll race ya." >finish first, not even close Why are women so retarded? She never stood a chance.

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Living The Dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/01/24(Tue)07:39:02 No.925285302 >be me, early 50s independent consultant >married, 2 kids >make more than $250k a year >wife is a teacher >act like I am always super busy, lots of work travel >actually just have a very esoteric niche and am extremely efficient >actually work about an avg of 12 hours a week >charge $200-$250/hr >usually pad my hours by 4-10x because I bring at least that much value, but if I quote someone $750-$1500/hr, they would complain >spend most of my days day trading, 4channing, and edging >also get lots of rub and tugs, pay street w----- for head on the reg, have a couple of side pieces I visit when bored >about half my travel is to go to other cities and pay p--- actresses for sex >Edged too long and have a rotator cuff injury >>925285334 #

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The Current [GAME] videos meta on YouTube (12 KB PNG)

image.png 12 KB PNG >The Best [GENRE] Game You've Never Played (2:14:57) >How [GAME] Broke Me (3:48:22) >You Don't Understand [GAME] (1:05:30) >The [GAME] Iceberg (6:37:13) >[GAME]: A Quick Retrospective (47:58:29)

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