Anon and his GF | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 103 KB JPG bad 03/10/19(Sun)09:38:38 No.51377125 >gf is on her period but almost off of it >desperate to f--- me, Im reluctant and tell her no for a bit >she convinces me her period is basically over and Im kinda horny by that point, figure it wont be that >she rides me and c---, Im afraid to look down >blood literally pooling in my pubic bone and flowing down onto my sheets It looked like Id stabbed someone to death with my penis what the F---

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>after decades of s------- on Americans for being warmongers and refusing to help the U.S. against Russia and China, 1.97 MB WEBM Europeans suddenly love NATO and American interventionism >meanwhile all the conservatives (who fight America's wars) have become blackpilled isolationists who don't give a s--- if Russian tanks cruise into Paris and don't think Western liberals are any friendlier than Putin How are Europeans going to cope with the fact that their arrogance has destroyed their continent?

Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

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Anon watches some kinky shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 447 KB PNG 09/30/24(Mon)11:11:14 No.37456573 >>37456410 # >use phone for furry degen stuff >use private tabs on firefox on android >after gooning is over return to regular tabs, however I don't close the private tabs >be me the next day at work >talking about something with female coworker >want to search something on my phone to prove a point >mfw for a quarter of a second the private tab got shown >both stayed silent after that I can't have a single normal friendship

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Machiavellian Capo dei Capi | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/24(Sat) 06:43:00 No.203731530 corleone.jpg 64 KB JPG >Look his they massacred my boy >How could this have happened? I'm just a humble mafia boss who orders murders, facilitates gambling and prostitution, and extorts working class citizens

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Anon hates meds | /r/Greentext

Celexa Lexapro Zoloft ✓ Luvox Sertraline Clonazepam Prozac ✓ Ritalin Prozac Amitriptyline Thorazine Mass Shootings: Are guns really the only problem? >>17126789 (OP) it's massively over-prescribed from a young age along with birth control birth control = sex without consequences and reduced pair-bonding >birth control largely reduces the amount of oxytocin released after sex >constant exposure to sex numbs dopamine receptors, causing depression, anxiety, etc anti-depressants = literal blue pill >destroys natural neurochemical processes >promotes narcissistic behavior, one night stands, etc >women can leave their boyfriends without remorse or empathy the effects of SSRIs are variable of course. I ran into my ex after she got back on SSRIs and she seemed like a different person. low energy and dazed. for some people it makes them become psycopathic. most school shooters are on SSRIs and a change in their prescription/dosage is what triggers it for them.

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Anon worries for his child | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ** 38 KB PNG 06/24/18(Sun)09:53:42 No.46331112 >be dad to 7yo son >find out he's possible in the spectrum >smart >awful in social situations >no coordination when partaking in physical activities >loves roblox and minecraft >yesterday he was running around the house singing something >watcha doin son? >im sanic, i gotta go fast dad please look after him when he eventually finds you guys

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Anon wonders the nirvana effect | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/30/24(Mon) 12:11:53 No.123818872 vevo >Drops on MTV IMG_2275.jpg 48 KB JPG >Literally overnight ever normie in America starts listening to alt rock and dressing like a hobo How did they do it? Surreal to imagine from 2024 POV.

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Anon exchanges his life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19 KB JPG 07/14/17(Fri)15:49:12 No.38371043 >uncle was dying of cancer >on hospital bed >doctors said he had 1 day left to live >sad, go to my room and lock the door >radomly decide to do a blood sacrifice by sacrificing my life for his >drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and then cut my palm with a knife and soaked the paper with blood >prayed that my uncle gets better in exchange for my life >next day uncle makes a miraculous recovery This was just a coincidence r-right?

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Where does he think he's posting anyway? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon is a North Korean spy | /r/Greentext

ile: IMG_7980.png (121 KB, 976x549) сней NORTH KOREA SOUTH KOREA >ethnically homogenous Anonymous 09/29/24(Sun)18:17:53 No.20284381 >no political instability >no government corruption how is this not the comfiest place on earth? >don't care about the outside world or global politics >no microplastics >above replacement birth rates >lowest divorce rates in the non-islamic world >qt non plastic korean waifus >guaranteed to have a job Anonymous 09/29/21(Sun)18-18-50 No 202813810 202843021 202813070202814760

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Anon hates appointments | /r/Greentext

le: 6639479436959b52bdee151a_(...).png (323 KB, 600x400) 're hiring! hello. >do you have your account password? Anonymous 09/29/24(Sun)20:35:33 No.16403100 >do you have an appointment? >did you confirm? >did you receive the confirmation text? >did you go through the website portal? >do you have an account >do you have the QR code to confirm? >did you receive our calls to confirm? >oh sorry, looks like we scheduled you on the wrong day. can we time crunch you from 4:30 pm to 5:00 (it's 11:00 am) >can you confirm you got the confirmation? >do you have your security code to your account? Why is everything such a f------ spreadsheet with people nowadays? What happened to just making an appointment and someone writes it down and REMEMBERS WHO YOU ARE. Return] [Catalog [Top] [Update] [ Autol

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It only takes a few people to ruin something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dragon Quest creator answers a(...) YOUTUBEチャンネル : 海外ニキの反応 09/29/24(Sun)05:57:11 No.690350498 Interview at 2024 TGS I really wonder, who's even complaining about this? torishima and hori.png 310 KB PNG and basically admits it's the west fault. >Torishima: doing business with such a ridiculous country is really frustrating >Horii: you used to be able to choose between a male or female main character. But now, you can't choose between a man and a woman anymore. We have to label them as Type 1 and Type 2. https://x.com/saou0345/status/18402 43748007219257 Anonymous >>690350498 (OP) # 09/29/24(Sun)06:06:15 No.690350983 How is this news? Every normal person knows this >>690351239 # >>690352932 # >>690353186 # >>690353718 # >>690355470 # >>690356105 # >>690358321 # >>690359686 # >>690360724 # >>690363332 # >>690366672 # >>690368598 #

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Anon gets revenge on a barista | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 122 KB JPG 03/23/22(Wed)14:41:45 No.874949522 >Be me >Go to Starbucks one day >Qt working the till >Ask for a coffee >She's dissmissive, doesn't write my name on the cup and is borderline rude >Pretend to be working on my laptop when I'm watching her other interactions >She's like this to all customers, unless they're a fellow Stacy or Chad >She actually writes a Chad's name on his cup >Apparently I'm not good enough for this service >I need revenge >Get a 10 litre cooler >Fill with several jars of mayo >Add several bottles of balsamic vinegar >Add rotting onions and garlic >3 litres of milk >Many sachets of yeast > Half a sack of sugar (for more bacterial energy) >Cooking oil >Tins of tuna and fresh mackerel >Add various rotten fruits and vegetables >A jar of peanut butter >Expired beef mince and chicken chunks >My piss for 3 days >Some dog turds I found in the park >C-- in the mixture as the Piece de Resistance >Tape the lid shut so it anaerobically respires >Keep in a shed heated to 35°c so some nastiness forms >Leave to set for 2 weeks, stirring and venting gases occasionally >While this ferments, I'm making note of what days and times she enters and leaves the shop >11:30am on Thursdays is optimum strike time >Two weeks have passed >Do one last gas vent and I literally vomit in my mouth through 3 face masks from the smell >It's ready >Put on a crash helmet and get in my friend's car >Switch license plate for ones from a car he scrapped, just to be safe >See her coming into the side entrance at 11:32 >Showtime >Run up and drench her >The smell was indescribably putrid and gas seeped like a liquid into my helmet >Was both laughing and dry heaving as my friend sped off and I saw her in shock from the back >I kept watching the shop for another week >6 days later, she returns to work and I order from her again >She didn't seem to learn a lesson, still acted as though I was less than human, but at the same time, seemed vaguely terrified and paranoid of everything Please, don't be superficial people

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Can anon explain it? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ABb142bD 09/29/24(Sun)08:04:42 No.483198851 image_2024-09-29_050344783.png 629 KB PNG >Israel kills every enemy leader, general and commander with precise strikes >Russia somehow can't do the same What gives? And don't tell me that Putin has morals

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