The Flaw is Lava | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be God ▼Settings Mobile Home 08/27/24(Tue)12:46:24 No.78621420 453 KB PNG >Create the world in 7 days >Give the world volcanoes >Create humans >Give volcanoes the ability to destroy all of humanity at random Why?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon grows potatoes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: jBZ6tCqq Redpill me on potato farming 10/03/22(Mon)10:37:44 No.398112469 Potato-Field..jpg 234 KB JPG I read 100m2 of land can produce 1 ton of potatos or €1,000 at retail. Can you get rich if you own a shitton of land? Anonymous (ID: CUPMnEZC) 10/03/22(Mon) 10:42:10 No.398112991 >>398112469 (OP) # >Anon discovers agriculture

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anon gets pirated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 GRUMPY Animais 19 KB JPEG 27/08/2024, 15:57:48 > be me > struggling artist No.26149234 > spent 100 days working on this grumpy animals art < › finally finish it, feel proud af > post it online, get a few likes, whatever.jpg > some dude steals it > slaps a meme caption on it, doesn't even bother to edit out the book title > meme goes viral, like REALLY viral > dude racks up all the fake internet points > people start sharing it everywhere, becomes a whole thing > meme is literally everywhere, can't escape it > joke's on him, though > people see the book title in the meme, start looking it up > suddenly my book sales go through the roof > didn't expect this.jpeg > book becomes a bestseller out of nowhere > money starts trickling in > finally afford to buy school uniforms for my kids > fix my p------------ car > pay all my bills, feeling like a boss > meme thief got his fake points, I got real cash > best day ever mfw the internet accidentally made me successful.

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Supply Shipment | /r/Greentext

a Anonymous alamu alamy 07/17/24(Wed)14:56:32 No.4842744 a a a alamy alamy alamy alamu Image ID: KEDB15 www.alamy.com a-shot-of-a-juvenile-blackbird-KEDB15.jpg 182 KB JPG >can fly just as well as an adult >can't feed itself Yeah, I'm gonna call b------- on this one : Anonymous >>4842744 (OP) # 07/17/24(Wed)16:51:45 No.4842775 Shhh!!!! This is how all 4chan posters survive!

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Anon wants to fuck Don Draper | /r/Greentext

>Be me -Quit smoking -Goes well for a month -Start watching mad men -Began smoking again F--- you Don Draper 61 KB JPG

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Anon got friendzoned | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 507 KB PNG 04/03/21(Sat) 12:09:40 No.63034762 >19 >talking to girl who does onlyfans in my neighborhood >sucks d--- for money sometimes >wanna get my first b------ >we meet up >we smoke weed and talk for a bit >I start to pull out the money and she stops me >"You're just so nice Anon, I wanna be friends with you, so sucking your d--- feels wrong." i can't believe i got friendzoned by a prostitute what the f--- is wrong with me

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It's in the small things | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8/27/2024, 6:07:05 PM No.57002715 > be me > have an itchy buttcrack 68 KB PNG > fart > as the gas leaves it itches through my buttcrack feels good man

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Anon goes to Denny’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NEW! The After Melt Cookies NP Scream 08/27/24(Tue)16:54:59 No.20785376 >be me OREO >go to local Denny's Say It Three Times Slam Beetlejuicy BEETLEJUKE BEETLEJUICE x Denny's 428 KB JPG Burger B >look at menu >new Beetlejuice menu >must consoom >want the SAY IT THREE TIMES SLAM >40 yo waitress comes over >"what can I get ya?" >"SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!" >"Sir?" >"...Sorry...it, it, it?" >"Sir, excuse me?" >"Uhhh...the say it three times slam please." >*waitress groans* >mfw

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A not so stellar relationship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dr. Danielle 08/20/24(Tue) 09:17:22 No.202697691 Follow @danies394 They canceled The Acolyte because they couldn't stand the sight of two hot people of colour holding hands but I will always remember! Screenshot_20240820-080020.png 648 KB PNG >Spend millions on effects, sets, costumes >Turns out your vapid shallow audience just wants to see pretty people hold hands

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Anon cannot hide | /r/Greentext

File: vsauce.jpg (80 KB, 969x717) Anonymous 08/26/24(Mon)23:44:13 No.78616508 >HEYYYY, VSAUCE!!! Anonymous 08/26/24(Mon)23:47:55 No.78616537 File: Vsauce.png (236 KB, 502x655) Â >MICHEAL, HERE!!!!!!!!!!! Anonymous 08/26/24(Mon)23:50:50 No.78616552 File: homesecurity.png (200 KB, 1261x656) >YOUR HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IS PRETTY GREAT... OR IS IT?

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More schizo ramblings (although anon may have a point here) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 777-633 04/20/21(Tue)13:26:21 No.149806974 BB6B0149-59C3-43F2-9FE7-329FE6283F3E.jpg 25 KB JPG >look up meaning of name "Drake" >it means "snake or dragon" >the devil is referred to as both a snake and dragon in the Bible >Jesus's birth name was Yeshua, which translates a Joshua in English >MFW the Bible was the original Drake and Josh >MFW Drake Bell is the antichrist and Josh Peck is the Messiah

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Anon goes through basic training | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:48:07 No.23601888 >>23801933>>23801938 >>23801046 >>23802000 >>23601711 >>23601742 Ok, moar Hummel >still basic training >kid gets chosen to read The Soldier's Creed in front of the entire company >kid can barely remember how to wipe his ass, much less recite a paragraph >he approaches the front of the formation, nervous and visibly sweating >i am pretty sure spaghetti began to manifest in his cargo pockets >he takes his position in front of the formation, everyone is standing tight at attention >he clears his throat, takes a deep breath >"THE ARMY CREED! >somehow manages to f--- it up by the second word >1SG is visibly upset, entire formation begins to smirk and chortle >he attempts it again >"THE SOLDIERS CREED!" >he proceeds to the second line, and falters yet again >this repeats for a solid 15 minutes >eventually one of the drill sergeants presents him with a handy notepad, with the creed written on it >f---- it up again, while reading it > eventually approaches the "I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the united states" part >says "I WILL EMPLOY THE ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES" >realizes his mistake, says "F---" out loud, then starts over >reaches the same point >"I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES" >everyone is dying at this point >drill sergeant has dropped his military bearings and tripped on them >s--- turns to chaos >eventually gets it right, after a good hour or two >1SG makes him the Company Guide for having the balls to destroy the USA Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:49:49 No.23601914 ► >>23601654 goddamn I'd recommend Hummel for OCS if it wouldn't be such a waste of a damn-fine enlisted man Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:51:35 No.23601933 >>23801974 File: 1413368873966.jpg (116 KB, 673x1005) >>23601888 4SG makes him the Company Guide for having the balls to destroy the USA swear to god, we'll be reading about Hummel the supersoldier 10 years from now Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:51:49 No.23601936 >>23801974 File: 3797567.jpg (33 KB, 623x556) >>23601888 >"I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES"™ I'm drunk and this s--- is hilarious more pls Anonymous 11/14/14(Fri)22:52:26 No.23601946 ►>>23801974 >>23601888 >says "I WILL EMPLOY THE ENEMIES OF THE UNITED STATES" >realizes his mistake, says "F---" out loud, then starts over And this is the moment were my side dies.

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Anon should have just owned it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >I smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Know Your Meme

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