Anon gets embarrassed by his average size | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Bravo Vince. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/30/21(Sun)13:45:11 No.123440443 >gets criticized once >f------ dies gh.jpg 13 KB JPG

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Anon likes buggy games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)03:38:32 No.649205090 1419286710488.jpg 49 KB JPG >>649204881 # >I was just trying to release a 20GB upda- >>WHY? WHY NOW? LEAVE THE F------ BUGS THERE, ALRIGHT? I LOVE F------ BUGS IN MY GAME. I PLAY M------------ UNPATCHED GAMES AT NIGHT SO THEY BRICK MY CONSOLE IN THE MORNING.

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Steve coogan makes a femboy discord server | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)10:38:48 No.201667831 TV > Drama TWISTED JOKER First look at Steve Coogan transformed into p--------- Jimmy Savile on set of gritty new drama The Reckoning Jill Robinson IMG_7391.jpg 998 KB JPG >transforming into a p--- for a tv role Is this taking method acting too far?

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Field Recon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed)21:19:20 No.268900883 Ranma_flirts_with_Gosunkugi_-_Gosunkugi's_Paper_Dolls.png >>268900560 (OP) # 438 KB PNG >Makes a manga about a boy who can become a girl >Not a single chapter where Ranma is surrounded by penises and forced to please all men in the room Takahashi sucks man

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DUDE YOU CANT JUST COME IN AT 11:59 ITS NOT HECKIN' WHOLESOME 30% TIP CHUNGUS!!! | /r/Greentext

1707968605656715.png (2.62 MB, 1088x1078) google yandex iqdb wait KE N Can ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:21:42 No.201643119 >>201644245 >>201644921 >>201650243 >>201654842 >>201663771 >>201666716 Chef... table 7 has asked for another hamburger... Anonymous Anonymousv Anonymous Anonymous >>201644082 >>201644135 ☐ Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:46:15 No.201644022 >>201644177 >>201644288 >>201644836 >>201647086 >>201647117 >>201650036 >>201655059 >>201657747 >>201658616 >>201660020 >>201661445 >>201661995 >>201662059 >>201664359 >>201666366 >>201666546 >>201666649 >>201666949 Anonymous 07/23/24(Tue)15:47:24 No.201644070 Normal people making a grilled cheese >Butter Bread >Add cheese >Put on frying pan and cook until golden brown >*Eat* >"Mmm, taste like childhood." Chefs making grilled cheese I've never seen such a transparent shilling campaign as this h--------, every day 50 bear threads. I'll never watch it btw, not even pirated. F--- you. Buy an ad. ✓ >>201663413 >>201663675 >>201666975 (Dead). >"THE PAN IS AT 213.67 DEGREES THE PERFECT TEMPERATURE FOR SANDWICH AU FROMAGE FONDU WHERE THE F--- IS MY BREAD?!?!" >"RIGHT HERE CHEF" >"The f--- is this? THE F--- IS THIS?!? IS THIS BREAD FROM A GROCERY STORE?!?! YOU ONLY USE BREAD MADE FROM ANCIENT GRAINS GROWN SPECIFICALLY ON THE EAST SIDE OF THE NILE RIVER IN EGYPT! GET THE F--- OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GET OUT!" >"Chef! I have your cheese prepped for you!" >"THIS IS SLICED AMERICAN CHEESE YOU F------ MORON! WHERE IS THE HIMALAYAN CHEESE MILKED FROM THE SACRED TEMPLE YAK THAT IS THE STANDARD IN ANY SELF RESPECTING KITCHEN! OUT OF MY KITCHEN NOW!" >"GIVE ME THE COLOR CHART! WE HAVE TO MATCH THE BREAD TO THE COLOR CHART TO MAKE SURE ITS PERFECTLY BROWNED! ANY BROWNER AND THEY'LL TAKE AWAY ALL MY STARS AND I'LL BE FORCED TO PAY FULL PRICE FOR MY TIRES!!!" >*Everyone stops what they are doing and stands in complete silence as the Chef takes a bite before somberly hanging his apron.* >"...Who the f--- buttered this? Everyone knows you do not butter a grilled cheese, you place the bread in a $25,000 humidifier until the bread becomes moist off its own hydrated yeast. You have all failed me, I have failed you. Get your knives, we must perform Seppuku before the Marco Pierre White shrine out the back. Do not look him in the eyes, for his gaze is that of shame for this kitchen."

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When you lack patience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/16/24(Tue)21:10:32 No. 201357187 the mist.jpg 62 KB JPG >the car ran out of gas so I'm going to kill my son >oh well 5 minutes later the army comes to the rescue couldn't he wait a while? until they run out of food or something

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Man was committed | /r/Greentext

So lets get this straight >almost dies playing vidya and has to fight his way out >gets back to reality >goes back in another one

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anon composes a poem | /r/Greentext

Anonymous /fit/ Poetry Corner 15 KB JPG 07/24/21(Sat)20:26:33 No.62728875 a poem >There once was a surgeon named Keith >Who circumcised men with his teeth >'Twas not for leisure, or sexual pleasure >But to get at the cheese underneath thank you

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Anons figured it out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)01:19:33 No.78256506 > becomes t----- > grooms minors Every time. 1.51 MB PNG

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General Kenobi, you are a bold one | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond

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American logic in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: KT1UNSSO 07/16/24(Tue)16:45:17 No.474424881 IMG_0240.jpg 66 KB JPG >USA >20 year old >can't legally drink >can assassinate the president This is America.

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Anon gets scarred for life | /r/Greentext

8:18 Anonymous 7 days ago 80% 19128469 Worked at Long Johns in high school and outside the deaths of loved ones it was the most traumatic experience of my life. >rats, mice, roaches they'd fall into the fryers and our manager/owner would tell us to scoop em out and toss em >oil wasn't replaced often, maybe once a month >mold in soda machine >one of the senior cooks was a developmentally disabled guy; cool dude but prone to violent outbursts, racial epithets, self-harm, threats, with a grade school education >no idea who took care of him or how he even got to work, he was just there when I'd arrive and he always stayed late >maybe manager's pet, no f------ idea >he'd also grope the female employees (all of whom quit because I'd tell them it wasn't safe for them) >was also at the outskirts of town and there was a cleaner, better one near the city center so no excuse to even go to ours >but we had regulars and I just kept my head down, tried to keep things clean, avoided the retarded cook as much as I could, and never ate there >go to work one day after school >lights are on, can see the fryers are on, but the doors are locked and nobody is answering my knocks or the phone inside >manager's has a regular window, decide to see if I can open it from the outside >the fryers were going, place could burn down >get to the window, see my manager f------ the retard on the floor of his office >get spooked, but in my hurry I kicked up some gravel and s--- Decided to go back an hour later. It's really tense. Get through my shift and I'm helping the retard close. He's turning off the fryers, I walk by him to start counting off the register and he just dunks his head right into the oil. His skin slid right off his face and neck and the worst part is he doesn't even scream, he just making this god awful gargling sound like he's swallowed two lungs of water. Called 9/11. I never went back. Never asked for my last paycheck. Took me a year to even tell somebody else what happened and I still smell and hear the moment. 16 REPLIES Anonymous 6 days ago 19128520 F2E522C6-6EEE-485A-BD09-29CCE67561FB.png (1,015.2

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