American logic in a nutshell | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous (ID: KT1UNSSO 07/16/24(Tue)16:45:17 No.474424881 IMG_0240.jpg 66 KB JPG >USA >20 year old >can't legally drink >can assassinate the president This is America.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets scarred for life | /r/Greentext

8:18 Anonymous 7 days ago 80% 19128469 Worked at Long Johns in high school and outside the deaths of loved ones it was the most traumatic experience of my life. >rats, mice, roaches they'd fall into the fryers and our manager/owner would tell us to scoop em out and toss em >oil wasn't replaced often, maybe once a month >mold in soda machine >one of the senior cooks was a developmentally disabled guy; cool dude but prone to violent outbursts, racial epithets, self-harm, threats, with a grade school education >no idea who took care of him or how he even got to work, he was just there when I'd arrive and he always stayed late >maybe manager's pet, no f------ idea >he'd also grope the female employees (all of whom quit because I'd tell them it wasn't safe for them) >was also at the outskirts of town and there was a cleaner, better one near the city center so no excuse to even go to ours >but we had regulars and I just kept my head down, tried to keep things clean, avoided the retarded cook as much as I could, and never ate there >go to work one day after school >lights are on, can see the fryers are on, but the doors are locked and nobody is answering my knocks or the phone inside >manager's has a regular window, decide to see if I can open it from the outside >the fryers were going, place could burn down >get to the window, see my manager f------ the retard on the floor of his office >get spooked, but in my hurry I kicked up some gravel and s--- Decided to go back an hour later. It's really tense. Get through my shift and I'm helping the retard close. He's turning off the fryers, I walk by him to start counting off the register and he just dunks his head right into the oil. His skin slid right off his face and neck and the worst part is he doesn't even scream, he just making this god awful gargling sound like he's swallowed two lungs of water. Called 9/11. I never went back. Never asked for my last paycheck. Took me a year to even tell somebody else what happened and I still smell and hear the moment. 16 REPLIES Anonymous 6 days ago 19128520 F2E522C6-6EEE-485A-BD09-29CCE67561FB.png (1,015.2

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Anon is speedrunning death | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 03/14/23(Tue)21:00:22 No.181774035 ► >>181774108 >>181774152 >>181774718 >>181775117 >>181775122 >>181775256 >>181775316 >>181775355 >>181775678>>181776729 >>181776842 >>181778614 >>181778809 >>181779133 >>181779171 >>181780085>>181781258 >>181768756 (OP) # Here is what i ate yesterday. I weigh 648 lbs. 100% serious. I am obese. >breakfast Aunt jemima pancakes with chocolate chips qnd coco pebbles mixed in with chocolate syrup instead of syrup, 12 slices of bacon, 2 jimmy dean delights and a glass of chocolate milk >lunch 2 popeyes chicken sandiches with extra mayo whichi add myself. A family size bag of cheetos puffs, 2 large blizzards a a 24 oz dr pepper >dinner 100 ct pizza rolls with crumbled bacon, nacho cheese and crushed ranch doritos, 3 xxl char broiled cheese burgers and 4 packs of curly fries. A glass of butter with nesquick mixed in. A pack of swiss cake rolls for desert >snacks 2 boxes of fruit by the foot 48 scround blue bunny mint ice cream Ramen noodles Chips ahoy peanut butter

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Anon wants to share his idea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1763244175 >be 13 >started masturbating at this age >feels f------ amazing >think I invented it 2 hr. ago ... >WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW ABOUT THIS!? I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE!!! >family cookout >grandma, papa, auntie, cousins, parents, everyone is there >go to every table and when they ask me what I've been up to eagerly tell them about how f------ amazing it feels to blow my load and how they should do it >everyone is naturally sketched out >my parents catch wind of my m----------- ramblings >dad takes me inside and has to explain like I'm an autist how it's not right to tell nana and pepaw how I j------- in the tub >the shame fills my soul >I still have times where I lay awake at night and wonder w-- I was thinking 3 REPLIES

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The government has bamboozled me, and now other people and me are going to pay the price for my assured incompetence | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [☐ Auto] File: stressed americano.jpg (36 KB, 888x522) [Advertise on 4chan] ☐ I hate myself with every fiber of my being Anonymous 07/24/24(Wed)01:56:30 No. 11659861 >be me >be 22 >enlisted into armed forces as an intelligence analyst >thought that I would finally find something that I can excel in since I assumed intel involves forensics, creativity, critical thinking and pattern recognition, which I find interesting >thought that I'll also find a community of weird f---- who enjoy their work and share a sense of camaraderie >"hey, I'll finally found a successful career and be an important man as a subject matter expert that no one else can challenge" >turns out I need to manage people as well, which I'm horrible at >my superiors keep critiquing that I'm too slow in my assessment >I also have to multitask a lot of crap (I can't) and assume irrelevant appointments I didn't sign up for (like facility management) >when I wake up sometimes, I feel like puking and hiding under my blanket, but I can't because I have too much work to finish, and I want to prove to myself that I'm not a p---- >but mfw when I'm starting to feel burnt out and demoralized >mfw when I feel cheated >my colleagues don't like me at all, they all think I'm a weirdo >nobody here wants to be friends with me, they tolerate me at best >sometimes, I can hear within earshot of them commenting negatively about me >"anon is not normal" >"anon is going to screw things up" >"anon is awkward and hard to talk to" >"anon is naive and shouldn't have joined up" My seniors are redeploying to different units, and that means I'm going to become a platoon sergeant soon. I've been in the unit for less than 8 months, and I'm going to be responsible for 20+ men. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility. F--- man, I just wanted to be a desk jockey who analyzes data and research I can feel the upcoming storm of clusterfucks that's going to birth during my 1st tour. I'm scared to hell that I can't fill those big shoes I need to wear. There are better leaders than me out there, I shouldn't be here. People are going to suffer because of my incompetence W-- do i do now? 0/0/1

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I ain't never seen a snickers overdose | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKER proNERS SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNIUKEND SNICKER SMOKERS SNICKERS Carnly Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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Anon gets a knock at the door | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: OPOhoMKY 07/23/24(Tue)07:51:52 No.475331740 DILL FRIB A CRIL CHIN Ready to die for the joos.jpg >Knock at the door 128 KB JPG >"Hey there anon! We're with the U.S marines" >"President Kamal has made the draft mandatory, so come with us soldier!" How do you respond without sounding mad?

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Anon makes a breakthrough | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1763244175 >be 13 >started masturbating at this age >feels f------ amazing >think I invented it 2 hr. ago .. >WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW ABOUT THIS!? I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE!!! >family cookout >grandma, papa, auntie, cousins, parents, everyone is there >go to every table and when they ask me what I've been up to eagerly tell them about how f------ amazing it feels to blow my load and how they should do it >everyone is naturally sketched out >my parents catch wind of my m----------- ramblings >dad takes me inside and has to explain like I'm an autist how it's not right to tell nana and pepaw how I j------- in the tub >the shame fills my soul >I still have times where I lay awake at night and wonder w-- I was thinking 3 REPLIES

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anon is an arch imperialist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IHrsjUSF >be 'murica 07/23/24(Tue)06:34:56 No.475330429 ► >say the date after the month and before the year >use an unscientific and arbitrary system to measure distance, weight, volume and temperature >call a sport where your foot hardly ever touches the ball "football" >rest of world thinks we're too stubborn and retarded to change >in reality we just like making y'all learn our customs cuz f--- you, we the hegemon bitch And it's so adorable when europoors pretend they don't know how long a mile is.

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Entrenched | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/24(Wed) 06:28:00 No.11646586 b06.png 21 KB PNG >smoke sterling on occasion >tastes kinda bad but tolerable >see people hyping up malboro >buy a pack >just tastes of ash and cancer did I get duped? le epic reaction frog!!! Get a good giggle at 4chan.org

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Is he stupid? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/22/24(Mon)05:49:37 No.201585882 >Wins the war of the ring >Turns middle earth into a barren volcanic orc infested hellscape where no plants can grow and 212 KB PNG rapid extinction theres a finite amount of orcs that are cannibalizing themselves into What now? Whats the next step of his master plan? >>201585916 # >>201586050 # >>201586130 # >>201586215 # >>201588609

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Anon's art teacher | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/17/12(Wed)19:46 No.1277730 >>1277731 >>1277737 >>1277743 >>1277801 >>1278791 >>1278905 my story is probably going to bring the mood down but whatever. >Be 15 >Recently moved schools since one of my friends at the last school committed suicide and there were too many bad memories. >First day or art class >Teacher is woman in mid 30's with stereotypical messy art teacher hair and big smile >"f--- yeah this going to be awesome" >5 minutes into class douchebag start interrupting with his class clown b------- >She ignores him >He throws his pencilcase at her >She makes him stay outside for the lesson >His douchebag friends continue his legacy and keep disrupting her ensuring we learn s--- during the lesson >By the end of the lesson she's close to tears. >Set an assignment which I can tell she had no expectations for anyone to actually complete. >Everyone in this class pretty much saw this as a spare and praised the douchebags for their work >Go home and work hard on the task, be the only one who hands it in >She looks surprised and her face lights up >Talks to me about art and lets me borrow some of her artbooks. Anonymous 10/17/12(Wed)19:48 No.1277731 >>1277737 >>1277743 >>1277801 >>1277857 >>1278791 >>1278905 67894.jpg (9 KB, 398x211) igdb google >>1277730 >Tells me about artschool shows me her sketchbook >I keep borrowing books and returning old ones periodically, I'm going through them fast. >Over the next few weeks she visibly changes and deals with the class disruptors much better and actually gets to teach us. >a few months later she misses a few days, find out in assembly that her husband has cancer >He passes away >She comes to school about a week later >A------ makes a wisecrack about her husband >She just walks out obviously tearing up >He gets high fives for interrupting yet another class cause f--- yeah! free time! >She doesn't show up for a few days >A week >Two weeks >She killed herself >She f------ killed herself >douchebag makes a wisecrack about her death the next day we all find out about it. >kick the s--- out of him >I literally almost kill him and would have if I wasn't pulled off, he had to have like 4 surgical procedures on his nose >Get called into office one day > "she left these for you anon" >All of her artbooks >At the very top is her sketchbook >mfw

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OP wonders if it's Joever | /r/Greentext

File: was it worth it Joseph?.jpg (1.92 MB, 2048x1464) Anonymous (ID: UW/bwTO3) 07/22/24(Mon)21:00:28 No.475286006 >Be Joe Biden >After 50 years of lying, cheating, and stealing, you're finally President >Get sworn in 3 years past the average US life expectancy >Your body and mind begins to fall apart as you're being wheeled around by your wife and crack addict son > You continue to embarrass yourself in front of your country and the world >You're too old and senile to run for a second term >You take a look in the mirror and think to yourself, "Was this worth it Jack?"

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