Step Father | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

> be me > 27m single loser and lonely as f--- > Get a call from hospital, best friend and his wife die in a car accident, only their son survived > no other family member aside from grandparents but they live nursing homes and aren't able to take care of him but to my surprise they made me sole guardian in case of anything > I bring him home weeks later > I clean up and prepare to adjust to a drastic change but anything for my best friend > Many years go by and the boy is 18 graduating high school > He gives a speech at his graduation party > "...And I want to thank the man who raised me unexpectedly and turned his life around so that I could have chance at succeeding in mine, thank you." > We all applaud and he comes up to and says "Did you like my speech dad?" I sure did son.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon tries social gaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Noobest of noob teamate 488 KB JPG 07/21/24(Sun)22:44:23 No.487011579 >be me >med intern >25 years old >after rubbing my butt to become a Doctor i decided to pick up my old hobby that my parents forced to abandon (vidya) >used to have a 1060 msi laptop from 2019 >dad bought me a 4050 laptop (thanks dad) >pack a controller for my internship as my kbm are too large to carry. (rookie mistake) >set up 10mbps wifi connection (great for online play but sucks for downloading large files >have another guy who is a fanboy of gaming. >not purely into the culture (doesnt know Digital foundry) >bought a used ps4 >s----- controller >even s------- at using it >bought a 144hz monitor to play on (idk why) bought the cheapest membrane keyboard and mouse from a local dealer >asked me to download cod Warzone okay >im not an expert with a controller myself but at least i reach rank 2 in BR >one day i bring my laptop to his house >plaw with him side 2 side >his game looks like someone smeared vaseline over his screen its cause game is renderd at 480p bbut upscaled to 1080 cuz ps4 > he looks at my screen 100+fps on 144hz display with no upscaling >his jaw dropped but still vouches for his ps4 and says its basically a next gen console cuz sony is still selling this bluepilled to death >anyways play together >no gamesense >doesnnt sprint >stands in open begging to be sniped doesnt ADS his gun and free aim everything >he barely got a kill bro did you even play a cod before? >"Yes cod mobile" but still w-- >play for another few days not side 2 side this time > his ps4 is bugged to death >can hear all of his ps4 ui and game sound and my own voice returns to me >annoying af >keep reviving this bozo >cant do s--- finally i gave up >bro im done for the night got a heavy shift tomorrow >"okay no problem anon" diconnected from the party >play a match alone >reach rank 2 feel good but tired >w-- bro >i could have had a nice 60 min session > but this mofo makes it 2.5 hrs because of his s----- wifi and decaying 2013 ps4 hdd mfw gaming made me tired instead of happy

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Eat food?! At my restaurant? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/24(Sun)07:41:17 No.201536170 ΚΕ Ca NA a second customer.png 1.7 MB PNG >chef... a second customer has just entered the restaurant...

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Anon is on to it | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:50:35 No.869588879 FoodTank agriculturesubsidiesworldbankreport.jpg >put food in the dirt 245 KB JPG >much more food comes out You expect me to believe this b-------?? Anonymous COAST S 12/29/21(Wed)20:55:41 No.869589196 >>869588879 (OP) # >build triangle out of metal >it doesn't sink B------- 103 KB JPG Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:57:35 No.869589312 >build a giant metal bird >wings don't even flap They didn't even try and make it believable 379 KB JPG

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Tomboy Foolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/24(Sun)01:38:12 No.201274528 146907796.jpg 105 KB JPG >be single white female tomboy >put out ad seeking girl roommate >all the applicants are crazy lesbians Is this a common issue for women?

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The truth they tried to hide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon loves to troll | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Autistic Workmates 88 KB PNG within 1 week 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist >obviously we befriend eachother >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCs from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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Anon got a high score | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.23 MB PNG >10/50 >be me 03/03/23(Fri)10:35:20 No.72432941 >reading thread about autism >see link to an autism quotient test >do it knowing well that I'm autistic >42/50 >say to myself "this can't be right, I'm not that autistic" >wife takes the test >colleague from work who clearly is autistic takes test >21/50 >I guess I really am that autistic link for anyone who asks https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum- quotient Anonymous >>72432941 (OP) # >I got 29 03/03/23(Fri)10:37:53 No.72432957 >someone with 42 has a wife Yeah, I don't think my issue is autism >>72433454 #

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Edge Of The Empire | /r/Greentext

Looksmax.org Aesthetics nan I HAVE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA 1719805379832818.png 110 KB PNG MY MANIFESTO I CAN'T BREED by: Chuddy boy >be me >3/4 of the young men in family are retarded >one cousin is a full blown neet >punches holes in the wall, sleeps all day, spends all night playing vidya >no friends or gf >bunks at grandma's because aunt kicked him out >other cousin is nearly thirty and obsessed with sonic >moderates a sonic RP server >wears shirts with his OC on them in public >at least he's had a job >and me, in job and education, but to retarded to form relationships with women >only normal one is my little brother >keeps in shape, plays guitar, and got a gf at 15 >realize entire lineage hinges on a 15 year old kid

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anon expresses pro-choice views and gets reasoned, measured responses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: u+vR0QhW | 07/18/24(Thu)22:05:59 No.474777524 >>474778351 >>474778444 >>474778460 >>474778506 >>474778518 >>474778523 >>474778534 >>474778576 >>474778634 >>474778813 >>474778882 >>474778993 >>474779271 >>474779364 >>474779379 >>474779493 >>474779997 >>474780041 >>474780578 >>474780690 >>474780834 >>474781714 >>474782203 >>474782306 >>474782383 >>474782443 >>474782460 >>474782503 >>474782570 >>474782620 >>474782661 >>474782741 >>474783238 >>474783486 >>474783603 >>474783746 >>474783770 >>474784373 >>474784583 >>474784660 >>474784732 >>474784859 >>474784893 >>474784910 >>474785833 >>474785856 >>474787876 >>474788358 >>474789057 >>474789531 >>474789892 >>474789983 >>474790412 >>474790523 >>474790544 >>474790936 >>474791472 >>474791554 >>474791762 >>474791816 >>474792140 >>474792230 >>474792367 >>474792458 >>474793145 >>474793292 >>474793718 >>474793728 >>474793849 >>474793921 >>474794050 >>474794059 >>474794112 >>474794376 >>474794489 >>474794600 >>474794744 >>474794878 >>474795223 >>474795269 >>474795334 >>474795739 >>474796364 >>474796715 >>474796730 >>474796999 >be femanon >be the only sex that can make babies >literally manufacture the baby from scratch in my body >the man contributes nothing except some raw materials >it's a painful and stressful process that takes 9 goddamn months >can't get drunk, high, or take any psychoactive drugs without damaging the product >be Republicunt man >think that I deserve to decide whether the w---- factory is allowed to cancel production of the baby I mean I'm all for a lil sexism, but do you retarded conservatives not realize how uncivilized it is to force women to make their bodies factories? Anonymous (ID: 81h2wcnY | 07/18/24(Thu)22:08:06 No.474777859 Well, you can swallow my swimmers instead if you don't want to worry about that. Anonymous (ID: Lu4juNLf) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:15 No.474778518 File: 1713026829809728.jpg (80 KB, 540x638) to grid of Cute looks hard >>474777524 (OP) We're getting closer to robowaifus and artificial wombs. Soon you'll be completely worthless. Anonymous (ID: 7jAZQ7On) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:58 No.474778634 >>474777524 (OP) Shut up bitch. In real life you would just defer to me like every other woman I've ever met. Anonymous (ID: QbvyZkFz 07/18/24(Thu)22:14:36 No.474778882 >>474794978 >>474777524 (OP) >be femanon >have unprotected sex with 100s of men >create life >kill it, because you don't want to take responsibility >repeat I don't partially care about abortions, but don't act like you have some god given right to turn your vagina into a cemetery Anonymous (ID: ND4MiRD9 I 07/18/24(Thu)22:22:39 No.474780041 >>474777524 (OP). Artificial wombs. Al companions. Fuckable robo waifus. Replace women entirely. Let them go do, what ever the f--- it is they want to do. Only raise sons. Become interplanetary. Thank you for listening to my public service announcement. Anonymous (ID: aD88A6yl $ 07/18/24(Thu)22:39:15 No.474782503 >>474777524 (OP) Do you know how comically retarded it is for a lifeform that is so weak and dependent and pathetic as a woman to rule over a man? Any average man can kill the strongest woman effortlessly. You only have rights because men are defending those rights. You only have civilization because men have built you a civilization. If it was up to your fellow women to defend you, you'd be crushed as fast as Afghanistan fell.

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Real talk, what would you do in this situation? | /r/Greentext

Anonymage 12/07/14 (Sun) 15:16:18 No.94775 >>94778 >>94786 >>94788 >>94797 >>94807 >>94819 >>94825 >>94837 >>94841 >>94842 >>94861 >>94862 >>94863 >>94894 File: 1417965378474.png (985.47 KB, 1024x768, P1000585.png) >birthday HAFTU >suddenly our waiter appears >he's carrying a cake >tell family I don't want to do anything special >they know I hate being the center of attention and flounder badly in social situations of any kind >force me to go out for dinner with them >go to restaurant >8 family members in total including me >everyone talks among themselves animatedly during the meal >nobody talks to me during the meal despite the occasion ostensibly being my birthday >sit quietly and eat my meal >feel uncomfortable that I am so obviously not fitting in >mother and step-dad fighting and being passive aggressive to each other >mother drinking too much >meal nearly finished up >happy that I'll be able to go home soon >whole restaurant's wait-staff is accompanying him singing "Happy Birthday" >rest of the restaurant all look around and some tables join in, looking at me and singing >he puts the cake down in front of me >it's a custom-made cake that my mother has requested be made for me >cake is adorned with a lone, glum, pale figure hunched over an inedible plastic computer meant to represent me >drunk mother laughing heartily >try my best to put on a smile so as not to appear rude >everyone takes pictures of the cake next to me >family forces me to cut the cake >they laugh at me for "cutting the cake weird"; "haha look at how he cuts the cake" >meal ends >go home Pic related, it's the cake. HAPPY Z T

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Another day, another _____? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 356 KB JPG 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" >mfw, it's actually a chick >mfw, I got reversed traped

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text your mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 340 KB PNG 07/20/24(Sat)23:12:12 No. 78224529 >mother frequently texts me asking me how im doing/how much she loves me >usually don't bother to reply because lazy f--- >she died recently >open text messages >the last message she ever sent was "Miss you baby" which i ignored h-------- i feel like a f------ monster right now

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