Anon tries social gaming | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Noobest of noob teamate 488 KB JPG 07/21/24(Sun)22:44:23 No.487011579 >be me >med intern >25 years old >after rubbing my butt to become a Doctor i decided to pick up my old hobby that my parents forced to abandon (vidya) >used to have a 1060 msi laptop from 2019 >dad bought me a 4050 laptop (thanks dad) >pack a controller for my internship as my kbm are too large to carry. (rookie mistake) >set up 10mbps wifi connection (great for online play but sucks for downloading large files >have another guy who is a fanboy of gaming. >not purely into the culture (doesnt know Digital foundry) >bought a used ps4 >s----- controller >even s------- at using it >bought a 144hz monitor to play on (idk why) bought the cheapest membrane keyboard and mouse from a local dealer >asked me to download cod Warzone okay >im not an expert with a controller myself but at least i reach rank 2 in BR >one day i bring my laptop to his house >plaw with him side 2 side >his game looks like someone smeared vaseline over his screen its cause game is renderd at 480p bbut upscaled to 1080 cuz ps4 > he looks at my screen 100+fps on 144hz display with no upscaling >his jaw dropped but still vouches for his ps4 and says its basically a next gen console cuz sony is still selling this bluepilled to death >anyways play together >no gamesense >doesnnt sprint >stands in open begging to be sniped doesnt ADS his gun and free aim everything >he barely got a kill bro did you even play a cod before? >"Yes cod mobile" but still w-- >play for another few days not side 2 side this time > his ps4 is bugged to death >can hear all of his ps4 ui and game sound and my own voice returns to me >annoying af >keep reviving this bozo >cant do s--- finally i gave up >bro im done for the night got a heavy shift tomorrow >"okay no problem anon" diconnected from the party >play a match alone >reach rank 2 feel good but tired >w-- bro >i could have had a nice 60 min session > but this mofo makes it 2.5 hrs because of his s----- wifi and decaying 2013 ps4 hdd mfw gaming made me tired instead of happy

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:50:35 No.869588879 FoodTank agriculturesubsidiesworldbankreport.jpg >put food in the dirt 245 KB JPG >much more food comes out You expect me to believe this b-------?? Anonymous COAST S 12/29/21(Wed)20:55:41 No.869589196 >>869588879 (OP) # >build triangle out of metal >it doesn't sink B------- 103 KB JPG Anonymous 12/29/21(Wed)20:57:35 No.869589312 >build a giant metal bird >wings don't even flap They didn't even try and make it believable 379 KB JPG

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Tomboy Foolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/24(Sun)01:38:12 No.201274528 146907796.jpg 105 KB JPG >be single white female tomboy >put out ad seeking girl roommate >all the applicants are crazy lesbians Is this a common issue for women?

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The truth they tried to hide | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/01/20(Tue)16:02:20 No.61174419 stein.jpg 17 KB JPG >be epstein. >chilling in cell >clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil >they leave >that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. >the sprinkler turns on >shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling

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Anon loves to troll | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Autistic Workmates 88 KB PNG within 1 week 07/29/21(Thu)12:20:02 No.64753069 Autistic s--- you did at work Thread >huge gamer >have a workmate called Amir >also huge gamer >also autist >obviously we befriend eachother >basicly best friends >we decide to prank our non gamer colleagues >Act and speak like NPCs from different Games when we meet >literally word by word random Oblivion chatter >literally asked him if he went to the sky district often >last week >working normally >Amir is like 3 desks near me >suddenly a huge bang is heard >probably just a plane >Amir: "By the gods, is that the voice?!" >Me: "Dragonborn" >we both break out laughing >had to explain to 3 HR ladies what we are doing >1 is laughing her t--- of, the other 2 get angry and tell us to grow up

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Anon got a high score | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.23 MB PNG >10/50 >be me 03/03/23(Fri)10:35:20 No.72432941 >reading thread about autism >see link to an autism quotient test >do it knowing well that I'm autistic >42/50 >say to myself "this can't be right, I'm not that autistic" >wife takes the test >colleague from work who clearly is autistic takes test >21/50 >I guess I really am that autistic link for anyone who asks https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum- quotient Anonymous >>72432941 (OP) # >I got 29 03/03/23(Fri)10:37:53 No.72432957 >someone with 42 has a wife Yeah, I don't think my issue is autism >>72433454 #

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Edge Of The Empire | /r/Greentext

Looksmax.org Aesthetics nan I HAVE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA 1719805379832818.png 110 KB PNG MY MANIFESTO I CAN'T BREED by: Chuddy boy >be me >3/4 of the young men in family are retarded >one cousin is a full blown neet >punches holes in the wall, sleeps all day, spends all night playing vidya >no friends or gf >bunks at grandma's because aunt kicked him out >other cousin is nearly thirty and obsessed with sonic >moderates a sonic RP server >wears shirts with his OC on them in public >at least he's had a job >and me, in job and education, but to retarded to form relationships with women >only normal one is my little brother >keeps in shape, plays guitar, and got a gf at 15 >realize entire lineage hinges on a 15 year old kid

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anon expresses pro-choice views and gets reasoned, measured responses | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: u+vR0QhW | 07/18/24(Thu)22:05:59 No.474777524 >>474778351 >>474778444 >>474778460 >>474778506 >>474778518 >>474778523 >>474778534 >>474778576 >>474778634 >>474778813 >>474778882 >>474778993 >>474779271 >>474779364 >>474779379 >>474779493 >>474779997 >>474780041 >>474780578 >>474780690 >>474780834 >>474781714 >>474782203 >>474782306 >>474782383 >>474782443 >>474782460 >>474782503 >>474782570 >>474782620 >>474782661 >>474782741 >>474783238 >>474783486 >>474783603 >>474783746 >>474783770 >>474784373 >>474784583 >>474784660 >>474784732 >>474784859 >>474784893 >>474784910 >>474785833 >>474785856 >>474787876 >>474788358 >>474789057 >>474789531 >>474789892 >>474789983 >>474790412 >>474790523 >>474790544 >>474790936 >>474791472 >>474791554 >>474791762 >>474791816 >>474792140 >>474792230 >>474792367 >>474792458 >>474793145 >>474793292 >>474793718 >>474793728 >>474793849 >>474793921 >>474794050 >>474794059 >>474794112 >>474794376 >>474794489 >>474794600 >>474794744 >>474794878 >>474795223 >>474795269 >>474795334 >>474795739 >>474796364 >>474796715 >>474796730 >>474796999 >be femanon >be the only sex that can make babies >literally manufacture the baby from scratch in my body >the man contributes nothing except some raw materials >it's a painful and stressful process that takes 9 goddamn months >can't get drunk, high, or take any psychoactive drugs without damaging the product >be Republicunt man >think that I deserve to decide whether the w---- factory is allowed to cancel production of the baby I mean I'm all for a lil sexism, but do you retarded conservatives not realize how uncivilized it is to force women to make their bodies factories? Anonymous (ID: 81h2wcnY | 07/18/24(Thu)22:08:06 No.474777859 Well, you can swallow my swimmers instead if you don't want to worry about that. Anonymous (ID: Lu4juNLf) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:15 No.474778518 File: 1713026829809728.jpg (80 KB, 540x638) to grid of Cute looks hard >>474777524 (OP) We're getting closer to robowaifus and artificial wombs. Soon you'll be completely worthless. Anonymous (ID: 7jAZQ7On) 07/18/24(Thu)22:12:58 No.474778634 >>474777524 (OP) Shut up bitch. In real life you would just defer to me like every other woman I've ever met. Anonymous (ID: QbvyZkFz 07/18/24(Thu)22:14:36 No.474778882 >>474794978 >>474777524 (OP) >be femanon >have unprotected sex with 100s of men >create life >kill it, because you don't want to take responsibility >repeat I don't partially care about abortions, but don't act like you have some god given right to turn your vagina into a cemetery Anonymous (ID: ND4MiRD9 I 07/18/24(Thu)22:22:39 No.474780041 >>474777524 (OP). Artificial wombs. Al companions. Fuckable robo waifus. Replace women entirely. Let them go do, what ever the f--- it is they want to do. Only raise sons. Become interplanetary. Thank you for listening to my public service announcement. Anonymous (ID: aD88A6yl $ 07/18/24(Thu)22:39:15 No.474782503 >>474777524 (OP) Do you know how comically retarded it is for a lifeform that is so weak and dependent and pathetic as a woman to rule over a man? Any average man can kill the strongest woman effortlessly. You only have rights because men are defending those rights. You only have civilization because men have built you a civilization. If it was up to your fellow women to defend you, you'd be crushed as fast as Afghanistan fell.

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Real talk, what would you do in this situation? | /r/Greentext

Anonymage 12/07/14 (Sun) 15:16:18 No.94775 >>94778 >>94786 >>94788 >>94797 >>94807 >>94819 >>94825 >>94837 >>94841 >>94842 >>94861 >>94862 >>94863 >>94894 File: 1417965378474.png (985.47 KB, 1024x768, P1000585.png) >birthday HAFTU >suddenly our waiter appears >he's carrying a cake >tell family I don't want to do anything special >they know I hate being the center of attention and flounder badly in social situations of any kind >force me to go out for dinner with them >go to restaurant >8 family members in total including me >everyone talks among themselves animatedly during the meal >nobody talks to me during the meal despite the occasion ostensibly being my birthday >sit quietly and eat my meal >feel uncomfortable that I am so obviously not fitting in >mother and step-dad fighting and being passive aggressive to each other >mother drinking too much >meal nearly finished up >happy that I'll be able to go home soon >whole restaurant's wait-staff is accompanying him singing "Happy Birthday" >rest of the restaurant all look around and some tables join in, looking at me and singing >he puts the cake down in front of me >it's a custom-made cake that my mother has requested be made for me >cake is adorned with a lone, glum, pale figure hunched over an inedible plastic computer meant to represent me >drunk mother laughing heartily >try my best to put on a smile so as not to appear rude >everyone takes pictures of the cake next to me >family forces me to cut the cake >they laugh at me for "cutting the cake weird"; "haha look at how he cuts the cake" >meal ends >go home Pic related, it's the cake. HAPPY Z T

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: Anonymous 356 KB JPG 02/09/21(Tue)17:00:19 No.846977777 > be me, closeted bisexual > mostly into grils, but have a thing for traps > decide to find a trap irl > go on Grindr, swipe left until I find a cute femboy > we start talking and sharing nudes, body is surprisingly feminine for a trap > he wants to meet up > itsHappening.exe > show up, hes shorter than me and petite, just how I like em > get up to bedroom and start making out > he stops, "Anon, I have to tell you something" > "It's cool, I know you have a d---" > "Actually Anon, I'm ftm. I dont have a d---" >mfw, it's actually a chick >mfw, I got reversed traped

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text your mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 340 KB PNG 07/20/24(Sat)23:12:12 No. 78224529 >mother frequently texts me asking me how im doing/how much she loves me >usually don't bother to reply because lazy f--- >she died recently >open text messages >the last message she ever sent was "Miss you baby" which i ignored h-------- i feel like a f------ monster right now

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The Chosen Hypocrite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/24(Fri)12:18:01 No.201215063 From my point of view the Jedi are evil >murders children >strangles wife 1696694969225967.gif 477 KB GIF >"Personally I think you guys are the bad guys actually, not me"

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