anon disrespects the Fr*nch | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be frog general in 1914 Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat) 13:00:32 No.16851779 >be the machine gun in 1893 >absolutely SHRED muh fuckas in the 1st Matabele War >ffwd to 1898 >absolutely SHRED muh fuckas in the Spanish-American War >ffwd to 1899 >absolutely SHRED muh fuckas in the 2nd Boer War >ffwd to 1905 >absolutely SHRED muh fuckas in the Russo-Japanese War >Zis crude weapon is no match for our esprit de corps! >Fix le bayonets, men – CHAAARGE >ffwd 1 year and half a million dead frogs later >Sacrebleu! Who could have predeected such a weapon were possibre? Perhaps vee should adjust our tacteecs It's almost like it was overwhelmingly obvious that the machine gun was a revolutionary weapon decades before WWI, and that the frog high command was literally retarded for not recognizing this

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Commit The Reserves | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/05/24(Fri)10:45:07 No.78052100 507.jpg 20 KB JPG >need work experience to get a job >need a job to get work experience Seriously can someone help me get a f------ job? Everything on Indeed is either 5 trillion miles away or requires 479 years of worm experience. How the f--- am I supposed to get a job?

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Ermm computers? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/24(Tue)10:24:36 No.678569726 XXX-5555 22 KB JPG >computers are made of trans-sisters >if you don't constantly spend money for their maintenance they start hanging

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High realisations | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/10/24(Wed)02:33:07 No.201135549 _91408619_55df76d5-2245-41c1-8031-07a4da3f313f.jpg 58 KB JPG >take mushrooms with friend last night >he puts on "Aladdin" to watch while tripping >spend the entire trip thinking he might be secretly gay

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Anon gets some bad news | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous i didn't know it was this bad 141 KB GIF 07/13/24(Sat)09:16:35 No.78139839 >be me >talking to gf and she mentions her friend is going through a breakup after 1 year >ask why >she says her friend's boyfriend never takes her on dates, ignores her texts pretty often, never gets her flowers or gifts or anything, gets blackout drunk when he's out with his friends and hits on other girls >she's fed up >ask why the f--- she stayed with him for a year if he never did any of that >gf says she doesn't know but seems like she does >press her on it >finally she admits "according to her, his dong is like eight inches and thick" >"she says they have sex like ten times a week and he doesn't even have to do anything to get her to c--" >mfw i realize having a big d--- is literally the only requirement to have a year-long relationship >mfw i realize this if i had a bigger d--- i wouldn't have to put any effort in to my whole relationship >mfw i realize my gf's friend has been bragging to my gf about a d--- significantly larger than mine for a full year haha cool i love that

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Really glad seeing my tax dollars put to work | /r/Greentext

Board /fit/ - Fitness Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 06/08/24(Sat)03:28:36 No.74447887 >be me cutting since january and finally lean >just doing my thing at the gym when i notice a qt stealing glances >seen her before but we have never talked or interacted >tell myself to focus and to not be a schizo >i finish my set and she sets up next to me >make eye contact through the mirror and she smiles >tell her if she needs a spot im here >"okay" and she never asks and i move to a different exercise >go to fill up my water bottle and she bumps into me as i turn around >cue some small talk and she compliments my fit and water bottle (lol) and i tell her i just bought it the other day >"oh my leggings are new too" and she does like a side pose lifting one foot to her ass >stare at her cheeks like a f------ ape >she calls me a creep and jokingly punches my chest >i do some pec bounces like a retard and she laughs >"whats your instagram" >tell her i don't have one and she says i can have her number instead >she f------ winks and waves me goodbye afterwards >later do a cia background check on her and turns out she is micro influencer >she has pics at all these fancy places and vacations + tons of dudes thirsting in comments >mfw im kissless for 2 years and a complete antisocial shut in i have a feeling its just a government contractor keeping on eye on me. no way girls this beautiful approach, let alone a turboautist like me. can only f--- this up anyway. >>74447933 # >>74448026 # >>74448068 # >>74449033 # >>74450780 # -71153262 # 3571458513 #

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Is this a fair assessment or an exaggeration? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/18/23(Sat) 19:30:41 No.657881745 red-alert2-web.jpg 380 KB JPG >RTS requires planning, thinking and concentration to play >Zoomers don't have those skills because they spend all their free time watching dumb s--- on tiktok >RTS is now a dead genre thanks to zoomies being retarded

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Anon is a small demon | /r/Greentext

12 KB JPG >Be me >Working at Burger King >I add an extra chicken nuggets to bags when they're for a kid's meal >Imagine the kid feeling so lucky he got an extra nugget >He wasn't actually lucky though, as I did that deliberately My devilish nature cannot be contained

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Anon Hated the Ending of Attack on Titan | /r/Greentext

File: 01929383730282830.jpg (223 KB, 2560x1440) Iwant her to be hung up on me like ten years, at least! Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat) 04:25:52 No.201227524 >>201228470 >>201228495 >>201228621 >>201228668 >>201228705 >>201228707 >>201228752 >>201228759 >>201228832 >>201229506 >>201229786 >>201229798 >>201230100 >>201230685 >>201231177 >>201231314 >>201231457 >>201231694 >>201231763 >>201232268 >>201232276 >>201232577 >>201233745 >>201234015 >>201234251 >>201235680 >>201235955 >>201236354 >>201237034 >>201241334 >>201241601 >>201241650 >>201243373 >>201244959 >>201248802 >>201249346 >>201251050 >>201251090 >>201251259 >> >ruins your 10/10 show Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)04:59:09 No.201228470 ►>>201228759 >>201229154 >>201229585 >>201230046 >>201230065 >>201235652 >>201227524 (OP) >erencels still seething years later best ending of all time. Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:01:59 No.201228537 ►>>201228759 >>201229851 >>201238847 >nooooo the character whose personality i project myself into is in reality an insecure pathetic loser Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:04:44 No.201228621 >>201228759 >>201236927 >>201237486 >>201246203 File: _b56ebff71f2a915d6220ff68(...).png (955 KB, 946x712) NO MATTER NO HOW MUCH MATTER HE'S HELD WHAT CAGE HE'S IN... BACK... I KNOW. HE'S A TRUE MONSTER. IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS TITAN POWER. ... TO SUBMIT >>201228681 >>201228711 CAPTAIN ?! NO ONE CAN FORCE HIM... >>201227524 (OP) >Eren framed as some kind of animal with insane willpower like Guts >gives up at 80% and simps for a stepsister who was dtf anyway Anonymous 07/13/24(Sat)05:34:10 No.201229506 ► >>201227524 (OP) >any anime show >10/10

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>Be Alec Baldwin | /r/Greentext

5:46 0 22 KB JPG >Be Alec >Working on my cowboy movie to spite Costner and prove I'm the better pretend cowboy >It's shaping up to be a pile of s--- >Way over budget, tons of reshoots >Already cut as many corners as I could to save money >Armorer is some little retard girl barely out of college, always on her phone >Cinematographer is being a huge c--- to me >God I hate women >I'm the producer so I'm going to lose my ass on this film >Brooding in my trailer dressed as a cowboy >Playing with my revolver wondering how I can salvage my production >Suddenly get an idea of how I can solve all my problems >Walk out of my trailer >Point the gun at c--- cinematographer and blow her away >No more c--- cinematographer >Blame the loaded gun on the unqualified zoomer girl I hired >My movie was projected to do around $70 mil in ticket sales >Get a huge publicity boost and now everybody wants to see it YOU ARE HERE >Get off scot-free in court because I'm a f------ Baldwin >Movie breaks $900 mil, everyone in America wants to see it >Dunking on Costner because only one of us actually dressed up like a cowboy and murdered someone >More popular than ever >Democrats approach me to run for president >Debate Trump in my SNL costume and mock him the entire time >Remind him that I actually did in fact shoot someone in public and got 0 consequences unlike him just saying he could do it >Liberals love me because I'm a Hollywood guy who s---- on Trump >Conservatives love me even more than Reagan because I shot someone with an old-timey cowboy revolver dressed as a cowboy >Unite America under my rule >Become president >Invite Putin and Zelenskiy to "peace summit" at Camp David >Show up in my cowboy outfit and shoot them both, war over >Achieve world peace

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French is a wacky language | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous French language 07/08/24(Mon) 18:57:24 No.16833017 B2CB291E-55B9-4ECE-96BF-67593D565922.jpg 40 KB JPG >inanimate objects have genders (which are totally arbitrary, you just 'have to know'. How the f--- were the genders determined in the first place??) >silent letters/subtle pronunciation (this language is so un- phonetic that unless you see the word spelled out you really don't know half the time what's being said) >numbers (95 in French is quatre vingt quinze. Literally: twenty four fifteen, as in 20x4+15. This is how they say the number 95 for example. No further comment needed.) >extremely burdensome system of conjugation that requires knowing 10 versions of each word How did such dumbfuckery evolve naturally?

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You're fascinated yourself Anon don't fucking lie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BLACK LIKE ME John Howard Griffin Pathe 191 KB JPG 07/13/24(Sat)16:56:41 No. 78137927 >wanted to see what it was like to be black in the sourh in 1950s >Apparently it was so horrible he Almost had a mental breakdown Lmao >Griffin finds that, to his surprise, many Southern white men are willing to pick him up when he hitchhikes. But to his dismay, he discovers that many of them do so only so they can press him for lurid information about his sex life-they believe that Black men are extremely sexualized creatures, and though they publicly condemn this perceived lack of morality, they secretly find it fascinating. One of them even asks to see his penis. Whites are f------ deviants 2 Replies : Anonymous View Thread 07/13/24(Sat) 17:05:08 No.78137972 | guess every race has their ups and deep f------ downs >>78138198 # : Anonymous >>78137972 # 07/13/24(Sat) 17:51:52 No.78138198 Proof the reason white people hate American blacks is because they can't control them for their twisted desires

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Bareback mountain | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)09:24:05 No.201061935 HEATH LEDGER JAKE GYLLENHAAL ANNE HATHAWAY MICHELLE WILLIAMS FROM THE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING DIRECTOR ANG LEE AND PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING AUTHORS ANNIE PROULX AND LARRY MCMURTRY BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN FOCUS FEATURES RIVER ROAD ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT AN ANG LEE FUN HEATH LEDGER JAKE GYLLENHAAL "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN LINDA CARDELLINI ANNA FARIS ANNE HATHAWAY MICHELLE WILLIAMS RANDY CLIAIDAVY KAUFMAN SAMARIT ALLEN KATHY NELSON GUSTAVO SANTADLALLA GERALDINE PERONI DYLAN TICHENOR, ACE JUDY BECKER RODRIGO PRIETO ASC, AMC SCOTT FERGUSON WILLIAM POHLAD LARRY MCMURTRY MICHAEL COSTIGAN MICHAEL HAUSMAN DIANA OSSANA JAMES SCHAMUS ANNIE PROULX LARRY MCMURTHY & DIANA OSSANA ANG LEE FOCUS BE www.brokebackbuhan.com FEATURING MUSIC FROM WILLIE NELSON, EMMY LOU HARRIS, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, AND TEDDY THOMPSON LOVE IS A FORCE OF NATURE 1711539787874704.jpg 287 KB JPG >in winter >in a small tent >no condom >no washing up afterwards that tent must've smelled rank as f--- afterwards

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