Anon protects it at all costs | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>she says she wants to leave too >walk to the bus station together >be me >22yo still virgin >go watch public sports event with some people >friend of mine brings her high school bestie >she's kinda cute >we all have a couple of beers >when my friend and her bf leave to get more drinks me and said girl have some smalltalk >nothing crazy but we get along, she thinks im funny >our team wins and the mood is euphoric >everyone is drunk and happy so we go to friend's place to play some beerpong >I team up with the qt3.14 for one match >notice she is kinda touchy like brushing my arm or pressing her leg against mine >at this point I think nothing of it >it's getting late and I need to catch the last bus >while talking about our living situations she mentions her place is just a couple of minutes away >she's smiling at me >I look her dead in the eyes >tell her thats pretty neat >hug her goodbye and get on the bus >more than 24 hours later the realization hits me why am i like this /b/ros

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon’s first time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Moment I realize I'm going to (...) 43 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)13:41:51 No.78003994 >Finally have some expendable cash from wage slaving >Use it buy an escort >The most hottest woman I ever seen because I guess the bare minimum (don't be a fatty( for women in my area is too much >She asked condom or no condom > H-------- this is it bros I'm actually have real sex >No condom please >She gets on her back spreads her legs >W--? are we just going to do missionary? What about all the nasty s--- that I've seen on my computer screen?? > Get on top c-- inside in under 5 minutes because she refusedto let me I use blue chew > She takes money and leaves >I had better climax than this s--- just watching p---. >Imagine how boring and meaningless sex would be like I get some average woman

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From India with no Vidya | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/24(Thu)09:00:27 No.680285540 Flag_of_India.png 218 KB PNG >largest population in the world >no good videogames explain this

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Bottoms! Why are you like this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 KB PNG >He is all giddy 07/12/23(Wed)08:18:18 No.31906857 >Going to a bottoms house for sex >He's been flirting with me for like a week >Drive up to his apartment >I'm horny as f--- >He opens the door >He's wearing pyjamas'? >Cute whatever... >He brings me up to his bedroom >I'm preparing myself mentally to ravage him >He opens the door and... >"SURPRISE!!!" >The room has two sleeping bags on the ground >and plushies are f------ EVERYWHERE >"IT'S A PLUSHY SLUMBER PARTY!!!" What the f--- do I do now? I'm just sitting on the bed and he's been introducing all his plushies to me for the past 40 minutes. Bottoms why the f--- are you like this?

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Anon must see a message in every movie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Most Feed Is his warch to find his family, he died Aria ANAMERICAN INTE 173 KB JPG 06/30/24(Sun)11:33:04 No.144310783 So, what was the message of this movie? like >Let's go to America because there are no cats in America >Oh, there are cats in America >Let's defeat them here >No return back to our home to beat them there Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:34:49 No.144310801 The message is that antisemitism is everywhere. Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:34:58 No.144310804 >>144310783 (OP) # I'm sad that Fievel's play area at Universal Studios just got scrapped and replaced with Dreamworks stuff. I understand why, but it made me kind of happy that An American Tail was still represented in the park. ⠀ Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:44:35 No.144310912 The message is that Nicholas II was a good leader and the Jews and their rise is an endless parade of sour grapes about the society they destroyed. Anonymous >>144310783 (OP) # >message 06/30/24(Sun)11:50:08 No.144310974 You must be a zoomer. You don't remember when things were made without regard for a message

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Anon talks invader zim | /r/Greentext

12:04 Anonymous L 06/30/24(Sun)01:54:20 No.144306619 >Salutations fellow humanoids. I endeavor for you to insert your protrusion into my lower body cavity. 998 KB PNG Anonymous But you have cooties.... Anonymous >>144306619 (OP) # 06/30/24(Sun)01:55:43 No.144306634 06/30/24(Sun)01:57:34 No.144306661 >female alien forcing you to breed with her for an experiment hmm... >>144307090 # Anonymous >>144306619 (OP) # 06/30/24(Sun)02:00:57 No.144306702 do irkens still have usable genitals? >>144306756 # >>144307167 # >>144308288 # Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)02:01:39 No.144306712 >>144306619 (OP) # Made for human breeding >post the thicc tak boys Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)02:04:36 No.144306756 >>144306702 # Movbo2 But probably not Domombor thou're all lab Aboards.4chan.org

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Well played | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ? 06/15/24(Sat)12:27:45 No.471207181 Sweet Baby 1714326765023.jpg >destroys your game 7 KB JPG >that will be 7 million dollars >leaves gg INC

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Some real sweaty anons commune | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)08:34:53 No.144309387 >conquers your planet 06/30/24(Sun)08:56:41 No.144309508 306 KB JPG Anonymous >>144309387 (OP) # >Another coalburner thread Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)09:32:26 No. 144309701 >>144309387 (OP) # >Overpower them with my Ugly Bastard power >Conquer their wombs Anonymous >>144309387 (OP) # Yes please 06/30/24(Sun)11:00:37 No.144310463

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"My dissapointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined." | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:27:34 No. 78003010 [Reply] >>78003032 >Went to make some toast with honey >The honey bottle is filled with dead ants My day is f------ ruined >> Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:30:59 No.78003032 >>78003010 (OP) That's gotta be at least a few extra grams of protein right there. Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)11:58:23 No.78003204 Why not heat it up and scrape them off?

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Anon likes those long yellow things | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I like bananas 11 KB PNG 12/04/23(Mon)20:53:03 No.75656217 >2014 >In a restaurant >2 80-90 year old women a little bit across from us >The one lady is LOUDLY talking about how her son won't let his daughter have too many bananas >I like bananas, do you like bananas? Bananas are good for you, bananas are healthy, they're a great snack, I like bananas, bananas have potassium She just keeps going. The other lady weakly tries to interject but gets steamrolled by this elderly autist's banana obsession. >She can't get a word in and eventually falls asleep >I start laughing and I can't stop >My mother is all "W-- is your problem?" >I can only point from laughing so hard >She starts laughing >Other people look at us, see us staring at those 2 old women, listen in, and start laughing their ass off too >Eventually the whole section is pissing themselves laughing, some just because everyone else is >Meal ends, this woman is still f------ talking and the other woman still asleep >About 30 minutes later we drive by >There's an ambulance out front TFW half a restaurant watched a woman die and laughed about it

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Anon smokes weed | /r/Greentext

File: 1719750573266621m.jpg (97 KB, 1024x1024) ولك Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)14:31:45 No.920638404 last night my brother and I bought weed from a n-----. AMA Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)14:33:04 No.920638432 File: Best-Thread-Ever-3334363360.gif (37 KB, 500x500) Best Thread Ever!

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Meet the onion boy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 34 KB JPG 01/06/21(Wed)17:43:06 No.61744130 >be me >middle school >hanging out with classmates during break >talking about our favorite pizza toppings >"sometimes I like it with onions" >get called onion boy for the rest of the year Why are kids like this?

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Anon makes a suggestion | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_6006.jpg (280 KB, 971x767) Femanon here Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)10:01:33 No.77998886 >>77998902 >>77998908 >>77998914 >>77998928 >>77998936 >>77999504 >>77999922 >>78000269 >>78000417 >>78001045 >>78001352 Husband is an airline pilot and he is on his way home and I forgot to cook him his lasagna. What are something that I can cook that he will appreciate? I feel bad cause he hasnt been home for over 3 days Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)10:03:21 No.77998902 >>77998886 (OP) >>77998907 Rat poison, so he croaks and we f--- while collecting his life insurance. I would proceed to c------- you, as you let bits of my load drip onto his dopey corpse on the ground, symbolizing the cycle of life (my c--) and death (his body). Anonymous 06/30/24(Sun)10:04:22 No.77998907 >>77998922 >>77998902 You are truly mentally ill

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