Anon likes to cook | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 311 KB JPG 06/19/24(Wed) 15:57:24 No.77888282 >be me >wake up >around 12 >get hungry so I decide to make myself some lunch >cooking some brown sugar salmon >always burn food so try to cook low and slow >staring at thermometer >wont pass 50 degrees >stare at it for like 5 minutes like a stoner, thinking this is how it cooks when low & slow >the sauce around it is turning brown and burning >turn heat up because my mouth is watering and I dont wanna wait >starts to go to 70 degrees <is the thermometer f------ broken or something? >check thermometer closer >72* C be honest should I f------ kill myself?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is definitely straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 365 KB PNG 06/19/24(Wed)17:37:43 No. 77889081 >be me >on bumble >stumble upon a MTF t----- >big butt, nice t--- (most likely plastic surgery but still) >gets rock hard F-f--- bros....am I gay??? Am I bisexual?

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Anon dislikes The Boys fans | /r/Greentext

File: The (soy)Boys.jpg (33 KB, 474x296) BOYS Anonymous 06/18/24(Tue)16:41:14 No.200240174 ►>>200240220 >>200241323 >>200241867 >>200241889 >>200242001 >>200242358 >>200242397 >>200242497 >>200242544 >>200242848 >>200242939 >Criticize a show >Fans will disagree and defend it >Criticize this show >Fans act smug and berate you about "media literacy" and how "you righties are the REAL snowflakes" >Don't even have to mention the show's politics to get that reaction. What the f--- is their problem? I don't know if it's cope or they're really just that stupid but I've never seen fans who get so pissy when someone badmouths their masterpiece.

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Anon is tired of his race | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6w8cF6wn 40 KB JPG 06/19/24(Wed)17:17:22 No.471617917 I'm so tired of black women >Be me, Nignon > Live life normally and enjoying > The fattest and loudest demographic thinks they own you >Fat black bitch at the gym the other day sitting on the 30lb dumbbell with her tight clothes + yeast infected budussy sweat >"Stop sitting on the dumbbell" >"uza dusty ass n----, like for real" 2 days later >"Uhh deer go da n---- right there gurl" >"Uhh aww, we better jump his ass" Please Yakub, once last grafting Why does it have to be this way? Anonymous (ID: qax97gwZ) EIG 06/19/24(Wed)17:19:30 No.471618111 >>471617917 (OP) # Because you're a n-----

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A boomer's reminiscence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: a0J4u0tP Boomers 807 KB PNG 06/19/24(Wed)19:23:46 No.471603477 >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 10/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained on company dime >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon gets a good deal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/22/15(Thu)23:31:47 No. 15942663 >>15942876 >>15943296 >>15943370 >>15943399 File: 1409177495303.jpg (8 KB. 186x178) >Want to eat chicken tendies >Mommy put them at 5 Good Boy points each >Currently have 30 GB points, means I can get 6 >I need at least 10 to be fully satisfied >BBQ sauce costs an extra 10 >Beg Mommy to give me more points >She pulls up her dress and says if I make her feel good she'll give me the extra 4 free >Don't even like girly pee pee parts, but I love chicken tendies >Finally oblige, start licking Mommy down there >After about 10 minutes she says I can have extra sauce if I play with her milky bags >Spend another 15 minutes sucking and grabbing her milky bags >She finally says that's enough >Gives me 10 chicken tendies + extra BBQ sauce >Says I've earned them for being a good little boy >Didn't even have to use my GB points >Use them later so Mommy can give me a Blowy Joey >Mfw Replies: >>15942876>>15943296>>15943370>>15943399

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The Mandela effect | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)19:45:21 No.16764372 peaceful man.jpg 55 KB JPG >leader of a terrorist organization that killed over 300 innocent people >burns people that disagree with him alive >wins nobel price of peace >entire world views him as a good guy that did nothing wrong Seriously, how the f--- is this possible? This is genuine question.

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Anon is burdenmaxxing | /r/Greentext

File: tumblr_o4rrd5IOaB1v0pigno(...).jpg (145 KB, 670x424) "A man has to provide" Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)15:40:32 No.77884442 >>77884452 >>77884466 >>77884554 >>77884589 >>77884644 >>77884657 >>77884714 >>77884734 >>77884753 >>77884819 I'm sick of being treated as a slave or second class citizen just because i lost the coinflip at birth. I have emotions too and refuse to be a used and abused as a soulless worker drone beta. >just be born as a hung 6'3 chad so you're allowed to babysit your dedicated roastie at day and brutalize her at night like a pig. >or just go die in a war instead lol >or just wageslave in a warehouse your entire life >or just be a walking ATM machine and emotional tampon for roasties >or just go homeless or something no one cares about you anyway :^) F--- women, f--- society and f--- nature. Not doing it.

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Google's fw when they have to implement macrovision | /r/Greentext

File: Lain.png (81 KB, 238x263) ☐ Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)13:23:22 No.920122737 >>920122800 Does anyone else record youtube videos onto VHS tapes to skip the ads? >use an old Roku with RCA outputs >Connect it to a VCR >sign into Youtube >play a "watch later" playlist >go to bed >wake up with a VHS tape full of youtube videos >Fast forward through ads Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)13:25:38 No.920122800 >>920122737 (OP). sometimes modern problems require ancient solutions >>920123089 good one OP

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

File: 077.png (365 KB, 646x595) ☐ Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)09:41:26 No.920121355 >be me >male, am a guy >sleeping in a dream >having a convo w/ some random anime girl in a dingy building >get curious about anime logic and try to pull a move >pull out my thumb and blow hard into it Luffy style >my chest instantly swells up as i suddenly grow huuuuge inflatable boobs >my balloon t--- bounce up and down, squeaking and creaking sounds included, my t-shirt is tight and struggles to hold them in >wake up from the sheer shock of what just happened >sweating like crazy, d--- is rock hard fellas w-- does this mean

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This post is brought to you by SickJunk | /r/Greentext

File: 1718744874473261.png (321 KB, 800x600) Lost a little bit of humanity today Anonymous 06/19/24(Wed)10:57:35 No.77882746 >>77882887 >>77882901 >>77882918 >>77883092 >>77883200 >>77883208 >>77883219 >>77883306 >>77883365 >>77883414 >>77883706 >>77883804 >>77885234 >>77885435 >>77885448 >>77885994 >>77886025 >>77886335 >>77886391 >>77886603 >Was jerking off to fat asses on reddit because that's the only thing that website is good for. >Found an account for a severely autistic fat woman who lives naked in a pig pen and f---- pigs all day, then goes inside just to post about it on leddit >Was taught to do so by her abusive parents who own the farm but claims she loves her life and thinks everyone should give her "lifestyle" a chance. >There's proof >posts crying about how lonely she is and wishes her "lifestyle" was more common and doesn't understand why living naked in a pigpen getting f----- by pigs is considered degenerate >Every single reply to every post is people blowing smoke up her gigantic cellulite riddled pig-c-- inflated ass. Things like "you are so brave and beautiful for living your life the way you want, f--- the haters. You're amazing!". Every single one. >In relation to, again, living in a pig pen, eating from a feeding tube, and getting f----- by pigs. I still jerked off to the pictures but what the f--- is going on anymore, man. This probably wasn't worth making a thread for but I just had to get it out there. Do whatever you want with this thread, i don't care anymore.

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Air, Land, & Sea | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/24(Sun)23:09:41 No.77624460 Why are guys always so stupid and horny?! 1707134862872638.jpg 61 KB JPG >try to make male friends that don't have a gf >inevitably they try to f--- me >try to make male friends that do have a gf >they invest all of their time into her (even neglecting their male friends too) Why are males like this? Why do they totally lose their minds over dude sex Imao?

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Anons discuss AI powered sexbots | /r/Greentext

File: 094017.png (933 KB, 1037x636) China's next-gen sexbots powered by Al about to hit the shelves China has officially cured world inceldom. apologize Anonymous (ID: 4HQVr36G) 06/19/24(Wed)01:45:27 No.471569108 >>471569150 >>471569174 >>471569249 >>471569298 >>471569397 >>471569439 >>471569535 >>471569664 >>471570411 >>471570643 >>471572189 >>471572464 >>471572799 >>471573392 >>471573430 >>471573461 >>471573981 >>471575213 >>471575572 >>471576063 >>471576239 >>471576426 >>471576452 >>471576925 >>471577078>>471577311 >>471577436 >>471577683 >>471577860>>471578014 >>471578087 >>471578161 >>471578741 >>471579255 >>471579832 >>471580264 >>471580458 >>471580861 >>471581955 >>471582007 >>471582397 >>471582518 >>471582582 >>471583388 >>471583431 >>471583837 >>471583987 >>471584857 >>471584900 >>471585282 >>471586239 >>471586829 >>471587352 >>471588279 how will the judeo american empire recover from losing control over who is allowed to have sex >>> South China Morning Post Anonymous (ID: CbTZPMu/) 06/19/24(Wed)01:46:11 No.471569150 >>471569244 >>471569248 >>471574048 >>471586025 >> >>> >>471569108 (OP) Where can one preorder one of these? Asking for a friend ofc Anonymous (ID: ciS0j0+v) [06/19/24(Wed)01:46:37 No.471569174 >>471577021 >>471579234 >>471569108 (OP) let me guess, they're gonna be banned in china but open for sale in the west? ☐ Anonymous (ID: ZGAOr10) 06/19/24(Wed)01:47:01 No.471569191 China will conquer the world with pocket p---- on legs Anonymous (ID: YGVtgWU) 06/19/24(Wed)06:22:26 No.471582397 ►>>471583360 >>471569108 (OP) I'm waiting for the model that can load a dishwasher. Anonymous (ID: WmSR4MDR) 06/19/24(Wed)06:41:58 No.471583360 >>471583427 >>471583839 >>471581955 jej >>471582007 I wouldn't mind a robot butler either, I want mine to be like Ethan from COD Infinite Warfare. >>471582397 there's been a model called XX, but its so defective and troublesome that you're better off loading the dishwasher yourself. I hope someone innovates because we've been stuck with this model for thousands of years. ☐ Anonymous (ID: 5BpO+rSS) 06/19/24(Wed)06:43:10 No.471583427 ► >>471583360 >there's been a model called XX, but its so defective and troublesome that you're better off loading the dishwasher yourself. I hope someone innovates because we've been stuck with this model for thousands of years. Bangladesh bro is on a roll today kek Anonymous (ID: SZ02qFYZ) 06/19/24(Wed)06:50:04 No.471583839 ► File: IMG_7086.gif (376 KB, 360x203) >>471583360 >there's been a model called XX, but its so defective and troublesome that you're better off loading the dishwasher yourself. I hope someone innovates because we've been stuck with this model for thousands of years.

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