More risks than you can count | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>>ILITERATE M----------- 05/19/07(Sat) 08:42 No.3548639 >>3548633 You mean A--- sex ? >> Anonymous 05/19/07(Sat) 08:44 No.3548650 >>3548639 Get your mind out of the gutter. >> Anonymous 05/19/07(Sat)08:46 No.3548667 lol, I don't do a--- anymore, once my girlfriend started s------- all over the place when I was f----- her... and she got up and ran to the restroom and I went after her because she screamed when she got up, so I thought something really really terrible had happened(other than me and my bed getting s--- on) and trying to follow her I slipped in her s--- and broke my arm. >>3548633 >>3548639

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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The boy who couldn't get laid | /r/Greentext

Exactly how was it that Harry had a hard time finding a date to the Yule Ball? Exactly how was it that falty (...) 231 KB JPG 06/10/24(Mon)07:17:20 No.199959760 this guy is literally >the boy who LIVED >cant go anywhere without people saying pleased to meet you Mr. Potter and wanting autographs and pics >found the philosopher's stone in year 1 >won quidditch matches nonstop >slayed a basilisk in year 2 >fought 100 dementors in year 3 >yet when he goes to ask girls out, they give him the stink eye and he could only land a pajeeta why didn't he ask Hermione btw?

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The skid mark | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 112 KB JPG TERRIBLE >pull it out carefully >boxers, disgusting >toss them aside 06/13/24(Thu)16:59:00 No.77819370 >today is my work from home day >which really means b------- and do chores day >go to get laundry started >roommate left a garment in the washing machine >annoyed because his laundry habits have been historically >there's an unironically MASSIVE skid mark on them >2x6 inches easily my head is spinning and my skin is itchy what the f--- I can't f------ cope this is disgusting

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Anon watches Back to the Future | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 06/13/24(Thu)04:53:42 No.200046887 File: doc.jpg (46 KB, 500x331) >>200046529 (OP) >YOU DID WHAT MARTY? >>200047263 >>200048335 >>200048663 >>200049320 >>>200055241 >>200055505 >>200056894 >Relax, Doc, I just put it in her butt >GREAT SCOTT! I've never heard of anything so perverse! >Butts can't get pregnant, Doc >MARTY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE OF EFFECTS ON SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM? >See look, not only am I not fading away, I feel great! Anonymous 06/13/24(Thu)05:10:58 No.200047263 >>200046887 >wait, Doc I'm still fading away >this doesn't make sense >Don't you see, Marty >>200047329 >>200047342 >>200047374 >>200047742 >>200047809 >>200048295 >>200048663 >when you turned your mother into an a--- queen you prevented your own birth >the loads from George that would have become you and your brother went in her ass and not her vagina so she never got pregnant >oh man, this is heavy

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Anon is strong with the force | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 65 KB JPG 06/11/24(Tue)17:51:39 No.200009338 >I devoured them >I devoured them all >They're gone >every single one of them >and not just the ham, but the chicken and pudding too >They're like animals >and I swallowed them like animals >I ATE THEM

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You can call Anon a retard all you want but one thing he isn't is a fucking groomer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous To break a teen's heart 406 KB JPG 06/11/24(Tue)10:48:24 No.77793776 >Be me >Late 20's >Cleaning my birds' cages at the garage >15 yo girl approaches >I know her and her family for all my life >She ask me some questions about the bird >I'm done cleaning the cage and refilling the water and food >I go to hang the cage, and she tries to help me >But she is holding in the same corner I Am, so touching my hand >I then look at her quickly and she is smiling >I go to hang another cage and the same thing happens >I ask her "why are you smiling so much?" >She says "Because I never spent any time with you" >| say "Yes, we don't have a lot in common" >She asks "do you have a girlfriend to help you? I've never seen you with anyone" >| say "No, but I'm not interested in younger girls, sorry" >She asks "Why? What about when I get older?" >I say "You need to find someone around your age, and I'll get older too. So by the time you're 25 I'll be almost 40." >She just doesn't say anything and leaves >I Am proud of myself and cut her future delusions by the root >3 years later, she still talks to me in a normal way >Sometimes you need to break someone's heart so them can make it stronger. 31 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon sees a pattern | /r/Greentext

Dr. Sun Yat-Sen His life and Achievements Why are christians so treacherous? Anonymous (ID: P6QEUuwx 06/12/24(Wed)13:18:15 No.47092 >be Sun Yat-Sen >be christian >be freemason >see Christianity / Freemasonry as progress (le good thing) >see traditionalism / native religion as "le bad thing" >revoke the empire, destroys China into multiple warlord fiefdoms >now China is a commie-s------- I'm starting to think Antiochus IV was right when he said Yahweh (Christ's father) was Typhon (hellenic Satan). The Shogunate did the right thing.

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a trip to Paris | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB PNG 04/22/23(Sat) 09:38:47 No.73049023 >Be me >Go to france with my gf and some friends >the streets are absolutely litered with trash >Go trough a riot and get half of us pepper sprayed >My black friend got called the N word like 10 times Im spanish so I already hate the french but now I hate. them more

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Anon enjoys a card game | /r/Greentext

The Eye No repeat hand types this round Round Score Score at least *1,340,000 to earn $$$$$ ush *0 340 X 21,600 Run Info Hands Discards 3 1 Options $4 Ante Round 12/8 6/7 HOKER X1.5 Mult CAINO 0/3 3/8 5/52 89f543216658e9747e93de6d61a70cfdcd909bd056f7e5400bf361305a183db 237 KB JPG >be me >Mid 20s guy who works construction And enjoys a good game >Bouncing between games like Final Fantasy, Doom, Dragon's Dogma and more >Find balatro on steam >Download to my deck >Look up and 8 hours have passed >Become hard addicted, trying to get all achievements >Get score just shy of 100 million in a single hand after 130 hours >Weeks go by and I realize I'm hard addicted to this s--- >Realize maybe I'd love poker >Learn poker >End up at a casino >Develop gambling addiction >Go $10k in debt Thank you balatro, game of the year

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How did they do it? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous BASED of the Apes 06/13/24(Thu)11:09:10 No.200054879 OF THE KINGDOM PLANET.of.ADES OF ONLY IN THEATERS MAY 10 KOTPOTA_1SHT_DIGITAL_SRGB_KA_PROXIMUS_V2.jpg >No n------ and pakis >Actually good 316 KB JPG >Masculine Apes wrecking s--- up >No f--- and retards >No strong wahmen What went so right?

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kind of wake up to reality thing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/19/20(Thu)23:31:20 No.5723807, One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the world and the universe. 74 KB JPG

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Goys | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: SOKLcnpK) [+] Were they just Mossad or what? 06/13/24(Thu)01:59:44 No.470980833 M tmntglownigger.png 635 KB PNG >Italian names to obfuscate their true fealty, just like in the old mobster movies. >Cultivated and overseen by a big-nosed rat. >Hang out in sewer tunnels. >Best friends with the media. >Drive around in a glownigger surveillance van. Also, feel free to name any other cartoon Jews ITT.

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This is the Truth | /r/Greentext

Annymous 11/13/23(Mon)21:48:41 No.75407127 >Remember when we used to think women were attracted to guys with nice personalities, who were intelligent and hard working? >Remember when we used to think there were girls that didnt have casual sex because they had morals? >Remember when we thought women were just like men but just happened to be women? >Remember when we thought there was a girl out there that was really different from the others and not just larping, that had interests and hobbies and develd deep into subjects and could think critically for herself without relying on the consensus of the group? >Remember when we thought girls really didnt like to be objectfied and sexualized, that they only wanted to make sweet love and it was men that were dirty pigs that only thought of violent sex? >Remember when we took women seriously and thought they meant what they said, when we believed they didnt s--- test or were inconsistent and could actually take responsibility for their actions and would gladly do so in proportion to their powers? It was all lies, now its in the open How the cultural climate changed The 2000s feel like another world

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