Anon is mad because his boring greentext doesnt get the attention he thinks it deserves | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 58 KB PNG posts 06/02/24(Sun)03:15:08 No.77693667 >makes up super duper funny greentext story in my head >posts it to 4chan >waits until afternoon >opens r/4chan and r/greentext >scrolls through all recent >my post isn't there

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Friend's reboot just dropped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1004 KB PNG 06/01/24(Sat) 15:16:07 No.31365049 >Group of 4 childhood friends in their late 20s >An incel >A butch lesbian with a 50+ body count (all women so I don't know if it counts) >A Chad with the intelectual capacity of a peanut >A Normie (me) >(Don't know the details only they know) But the incel f----- the lesbian > Now she's acting all feminine and somehow fell in love(first make she ever f-----), but he isn't reciprocating. He says he doesn't even think of her as a woman and doesn't want to ruin the friendship. Besides, her past as a slut is a burden. >Chad doesn't want to involve because "he doesn't want to take sides", in trust he is just plain stupid and useless for anything than sleeping with blonde sluts >I'm the only one with the intelligence to make the incel see that if he doesn't correspond to her feelings, the friendship is over anyway independently if he wants to ruin the friendship or the group friend a whole. Besides, he can't afford to be picky because it's not every day a girl likes him back. And between you and me, she isn't ugly when she uses girl clothes she's quite a looker, and she is trying to change her looks for him anyway. In any case. /adv/ any advice here? My friends group is collapsing. If the stupid incel doesn't listen to me it's over, but I think my words and getting to him.

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Anon becomes a dealer | /r/Greentext

1h (06/01/24 15:54) 77692383 - 0 Re - 0 Img JPG 132KB (1125 × 726) IMG_3012.jpg >be me >go to google images >search "toad" >confronted with innumerable images of toads >precisely what i wanted Enjoy some of this crop

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Anons brother will lead the revolution | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: pJ9Q8TP9) My autistic brother hates conc(...) 38 KB JPG 01/09/24(Tue)17:24:04 No.19361067 My autistic brother hates concret, specifically concrete blocks so much that instead of having political discussions at the dinner table we talk about concrete. Well its more of a rant than anything. Noone else engages, its just him sreaming about how concrete blocks were used to replace the way better brick. We had a few incidents where he lost his f------ mind. It first started at about 13 years old when he first became obsessed with traditional german construction (fachwerkhäuser, Reetdächer, etc.). After that "phase", he began acting up in public. >at 14, somehow concrete was brought up in class and he scratched a kids face for not sharing his opinion >at 15, he was found smashing concrete blocks at a nearby construction side with a hammer at night (~1500€) >at 15 he had a mental breakdown, because we went to london for vacation and london had a little to many brutalistic buildings for him to handle

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Anon is great with women | /r/Greentext

65 KB JPEG > be me 25 > decided to ask my old crush to come and hangout > it took years to get over this girl, she's perfect > to my surprise she said yes and actually drove an hour to see me > we chatted about life, walked and talked, chilled with each other and watched some videos > it's coming to the end of the day and she has to go so we say our goodbyes >tfw years of therapy and thousands of dollars have gone down the toilet in a single day

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Anon could have had a glowie gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 37pd/2c3) 05/31/24(Fri)19:45:15 No.469792280 File: IMG_1592.jpg (11 KB, 226x222) >>469792474 Glowies actually tried to get me a glowie gf awhile back. I had some wild s--- happen to me right before and after Jan 6th. Had nothing to do with it, but I had been trolling pretty hard. Get some call from an FBI Agent, even gave me his name because he "wanted to talk". Then they tried to send me a gf glowie, not even kidding, she just snuck into my life and was trying way-way too f------ hard. She also had dead give sways like how she walked and carried herself, constantly lied about her age etc. acted like a 12 year old with a crush, but had a tattoo on her inner thigh, had way-way too much disposable income despite her job paying significantly less than mine on paper. There were also tells of past military service-specifically Air Force Protip: Go complete sperg mode. Blast weeb tunes and be completely oblivious to any sexual advances. Just ignore it. Any way, f--- glowies, I wish I wasted more of their time.

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Anon is receiving phone calls | /r/Greentext

Anonymous dad they're professionals you need to trud doctors it's for the betterment of humanity what is the end goal of science? o SURMATURGARE IMMORTAL SLAVES OF FAMINAND DISEAS TILIGOR AND EACH FOR HIS THRON PPLAUD TROME AURIFERHOUSE 210 KB JPG 05/31/24(Fri)05:14:56 No.38034987 >strange silent phone calls >unusual messages asking me to bring money in cash in an entirely different country Are Russian intelligence services after me? I am from a Baltic country and I am active in politics (kind of) : Anonymous hey pal you just blew in 223 KB GIF 05/31/24(Fri)05:24:51 No.38035019 >>38034987 (OP) # >schizoid thinks pajeet phone scams are secretly russian intelligence gang stalkers classic /x/

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Eminem has been real quiet since this banger dropped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I' TENDIES 391 KB PNG April 01/09/20(Thu)12:17:38 No.818100537 >be mommy's good boy of 38 >she puts tendies on my plate >asks me if I want some Dew >I say "yes, bitch, that'd be great" >piping hot straight from the fryer >to my mouth, my hungers dier! >come on bitch, you can't delay >my healthy frame will fade away >in my booster seat I fidget >I must make quadruple digits >disregard Chad and Tyrone >I'm the master of this home >if they come I yell and screech >through mommy's bedroom door I breech >they wrestle naked on the bed >I throw my s--- jug at his head >he grabs his things and runs away >your turn, mommy, you must pay >you ignored your baby boy >to trifle with these men of soy >tears of joy fill up her eyes >mommy must apologize >"MAKE ME TENDIES NOW, POSTHASTE! OR NIPPON STEEL YOU SHALL TASTE!" >to the kitchen mommy stumbles >while my tummy growls and rumbles >when they're done, I clap and cheer >I smile wide from ear to ear >served with honey mustard sauce >bitch, I am the tendie boss >I go back to my room to play >mommy lives another day

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Supply Priorities | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >5'5 >autistic >shutin NEET >ugly >fat 05/27/24(Mon)00:50:48 No.77625235 over.png 100 KB PNG >bad teeth >live with parents >30 years old Is there any point even trying with these stats? I don't understand how I can overcome these obstacles, it will never be enough.

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Anon can be honest | /r/Greentext

File: senior-confused-technolog.(...).jpg (107 KB, 1600x1157) Anonymous 05/31/24(Fri)22:20:25 No.77684456 >mom asks what I did today >"goon to asmr streams and doxx chuds on X >"that sounds great, dear" the benefits of having eldery parents

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Anon is a role player g*mer right??? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/25/09(Wed)20:45 No.27753105 File:1235612747.jpg-(54 KB, 710x550, bumble.jpg) BLAST OFF I play Fallout 3 hardcore style. Pretty simple. No saving. No reloading. When you die, you die. Also, your character must have flaws. My first character, for example, was a p--------. Whenever I reached a new outpost, the first thing I would do is look for little girls. I would follow them around, talk to them, try to look up their skirts, etc. I would learn their routines and where they lived. I would hide in their houses at night so I could watch them sleep. So when I found little lamplight I almost didn't know what to do with myself. So many new playthings. Especially Bumble. Sweet little innocent Bumble. I wandered about for what seemed hours, playing tag and investigating. Then I came across the girls bathroom. I stared down at the filthy water in the toilet. This is it. This is where my sweet little Bumble peed. I drank the radiated toilet water until my character died. That's Fallout 3 hardcore style. F5 2 ==

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Anon actually learns something helpful | /r/Greentext

THE GUARANTEED WAY TO PICK UP SINGLE WOME WOMEN Accidentally found gold Anonymous 05/31/24(Fri)22:44:18 No.919194828 >Be Me >Likes watching s----- training videos and/or obvious scam videos, much like RedLetterMedia >Finds video from 1987, knowing it's going to be cringe. >"The Guaranteed Way To Pick Up Single Women" >Oh s--- this is gonna be hilarious >Expects dated, cringy jokes and advice that aged like milk. >Watches video >Actually has good advice >Actually learned something >Wasn't as cringe as I thought it would be Wow, I actually learned something, unlike you hooting baboons.

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Anon is traumitized | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: cQa16Jfd) 209 KB JPG >wake up >in hole in desert >gun on my forhead. >wound patched. >glance upwards 05/31/24(Fri)18:47:39 No.20425813 >be me 2016 >USA southern border patrol officer >standing at my post in texas >shot in arm >not fatal >knocks me out >buddy next to me also shot. >I never saw him again. >F------ El Chapo and an American soldier >stomach sinks >start thinking how Im gonna see my mom again I dont have kids because I just wanted a good job and thats all I wanted After this I never wanted a family more. >they offer my freedom if I go back into America and keep contact for a year and make my way into border passing buisness. To let them through often. >they told me they'll know if I don't and will hunt me down. >they let me go. >I get a ride with an immigrant. >Nice guy. >no money to pay him >open wallet. >everything in wallet except ID gone >guy says he has to go through illegally. >Gives me a small almost empty bottle of water. >Im on my way >half a day of walking to american border crossing. >they let me into America >meet with FBI >tell them what happened but made sure to leave out the Border crossing plan. >friend was found dead in hole. >eventually transfer into border crossing due to a fear of "the cartel" >4 months into the job I start to stop expecting them every day because El Chapo was captured. >the next day they are here at the border. >they just say one word "Chapo" their car is searched and they're let through. They were captured soon after that. I went into witness protection because I believed they were after me. >went into Uni and got a different job Scariest few years of my life.

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