Get my ass ate on a plane call that Skyrim | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 05/17/24(Fri)21:53:59 No.676770594 >get a rock cpu-564771_1920 Cropped.jpg 77 KB JPG >melt rock >turn rock into powder >turn rock into a crystal >turn it back into a rock >inscribe ancient runes with powerful magic onto rock >trick rock into thinking >can now use this evolved rock to play skyrim with the most degenerate p--- mods imaginable how the F--- did they figure all this s--- out?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is overworked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 1viKkaqD) = 230 KB PNG working 05/18/24(Sat)02:16:50 No.20320244 > be me with crohns disease and chronic pain >work >in pain all the time during physical labor >can't work unless I'm taking way more than the perscribed amount of my medicine >almost completely numb while >lifeless husk while at work. >coworkers like me because I work hard >Dont talk >Go home after 9 hours >sleep for 4 hours >Wake up >can't sleep at night due to sleeping 4 hours > go back to work >chug 2 Mountain dews >continue the grind When I have enough Ill be out of here. Im gonna get a cyber security cert and work from in the middle of the woods >Can't wait

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Based as hell | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/16/24(Thu)16:28:48 No.676639432 64 KB JPG >be slave >only job is carrying weapons for other men >j--- dress you as samurai because they think it's funny >end up in a battle >immediately surrender >get enslaved again >300 years later >THE LEGENDARY BLACK SAMURAI

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anon flogs a dead horse | /r/Greentext

OH NO! SOME- ONE HAS BEEN ASSASSINATED! WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS?! STORE SEARCH FOR ANYONE OUT OF THE ORDINARY! Anonymous 05/18/24(Sat)01:55:14 No.676789313 >be Nippon >be literally the most xenophobic nation in the world >go ~3,000 years without letting in any baka gaijun immigrants except for a handful of slaves and europoors that make us rich >be Jewbisoft >make games about assassins who have to hide amongst populace and stealthily ambush targets >decide to make our Japanese assassin a 6'4 250 lb roodypoo with dreads Yeah I'm sure he'll blend in great

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A totally legit non-fed post by a real anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 594 KB PNG >be me 06/01/23(Thu)12:34:54 No.7352268E >used to be a hopeless NEET >everyday I basically wanted to kill myself because of my lack of purpose >get contacted by an Army recruiter >got nothing to lose >take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) >do well on the mechanical maintenance portion >enlist as a vehicle systems maintainer >get a $15k signing bonus >feelsgoodman.jpg >https://www.goarmy.com/how-to-join.html

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Character writing 101 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/16/24(Thu)12:18:14 No.676615185 29 KB JPG >does absolutely nothing except murder and replace people with synths >"This is a necessary evil to save humanity" >"Okay, how exactly does murdering and replacing people with synths help humanity?" >"No point in explaining it to you, you're clearly too f------ stupid to get it. By the way I'm dying and you're in charge now"

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Anon visits a Psych Ward | /r/Greentext

9:08 f B m ZONE 0 boards.4chan.org/his/thi + Board /his/ - History & Humanities Anonymous Nut house HOSPITAL FOR THE INSAN 462 KB PNG >Be me ΔΟ Settings Mobile Home 05/17/24(Fri)19:27:54 No.16639553 >Have manic breakdown in February >Get checked into the loony bin at my mom's behest. >My roommate's a violent a------ >All the clothing is confiscated >Have schizophrenic neighbor who keeps repeating code phrases (creepy as s---) >Strict ban on Vidya (cable's not so bad I guess) >All the windows are barred and doors locked >The staff are rude as f--- and just throw drugs at everyone. One dude was breaking down in tears over being molested and his nurse basically told him she didn't give a s---. >If you want to get out you have to be lucid enough to fill out a s--- ton of paperwork and sit through a court hearing and do it within the right time slot >Expect you to remember the names of everyone working with you if you actually want help because apparently even the people who spend their entire shift on the computers can't look s--- up. >Have a seizure due to them f------ with my meds and become fall risk >Get put on a 24 hour watch and can't even go to the bathroom in private. >Try to leave but since my status was changed to involuntary I'm stuck for the whole month. >Have to wait 2 extra weeks because my lawyer who was supposed to have me declared sane again just throws the case. >Shower is tiny and bed is uncomfortable >After a month and 3 weeks they put me on Lithium after pushing a bunch of pills I don't even remember the names of. Don't find any new diagnosises and they don't seem to give a s--- but I'm just happy to get out of that hellhole and feel the sun again. >Can't drive for a year because seizure >Can't donate plasma because I was hospitalized. >Get a letter in the mail >It's an $80000 bill Am I the only one who thinks mental hospitals are designed to make mental illness worse? Anonymous >>16639553 (OP) # 05/17/24(Fri)19:49:08 No.16639628 Not initially but assuming you're here in the states we're currently undergoing a slow institutional breakdown. It's going to get worse before it gets better. Anonymous 05/17/24(Fri)19:50:47 No.16639631

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Divided we Stand | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous y=ax² + bx + c (x, x)=-bA 2a ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/15/24(Wed)17:31:48 No.77505198 V=1πr². h 3 8123233 sin 30° Cos tan D √2 60% 30 T 384 KB PNG Politicians >Its le sad to see our country so polarised and divided like this Uhm, Who's fault is that? >MFW

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How much more deplorable can Anon be? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous they say that my mailuketes make is boring, then have to show them masenem itpihyve never seen belum 1.34 MB PNG 02/28/24(Wed)01:00:36 No.76603561 >be me, 13 years old >imagine yourself being able to freeze the time in order to rob candies at grocery store >ffw, in college >imagine yourself being able to freeze the time in order to grope girl's breasts and r--- them whats wrong with me? 6 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon questions post-apocalyptic firearms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why is this a trope? 05/17/24(Fri)13:53:37 No. 199243868 >~95 (or more) percent of humanity is gone 3.62 MB JPG >This means most global trade networks and trade routes are either completely unknown or will take long time to recreate >This means the knowledge on how to forge metal is also gone or will take a long to be rediscovered >Combine these two points and you get a scenario where the process of obtaining and making bullets will take VERY long amounts of time Now be Dawn of the Planet of the Apes >~95 percent (or more) of humanity has died of the 113 virus or some variation of the virus or a completely new virus that is as deadly as 113 >Forests have retaken the urban area of somewhere in California >Apes live free from humans >Dumbass human shoots an ape for no good reason >Caesar and fellow Apes follow human pack to urban area that has a lot of green >Tons of people have firearms as shown in pic Why is this a thing in media? Did humanity quickly reorganize in a nanosecond after ~95 percent of humanity died? Why not make and fight with something that is easy to obtain in regards to resources and maintenance (like a spear or a dagger or a bow or a sword or an axe)

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anon can't fight for shit | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 200x193) Why are normies so clueless about martial arts? Anonymous 04/06/24(Sat) 12:48:14 No. 193109 >>193122 >>193327 >>193351 >>194748 >Hanging out at a party >I find out some dude is a TKD blackbelt >He starts doing these faggy party tricks like kicking bottle caps off of sodas and twirling in the air using completely inefficient and impractical tornado kicks >Normies, being normies, completely eat this s--- up and start cheering and yelling like it's the craziest thing they've ever seen >I offer to spar him, knowing his flashy kicks will just get his ass beat >I swarm him with a three piece combo to the head and body >He kinda-sorta turtled up, but I KNOW I tagged him in all the gaps, and I KNOW he was kind of surprised, but he just sort of stumbled back and played it off like he blocked them all >The crowd goes "wow, dang, good thing he blocked them all" >WHAT? >I LITERALLY tagged him like THREE TIMES, and they THINK he "blocked" them just because he kinda-sorta turtled up? >He fakes a leg kick and transitions into that stupid 360 spinning back kick b------- and it doesn't even hurt when it lands cause it was soft as f---, but I stumble over a hitched part of the rug where it's sticking out, and I trip and fall over >The whole crowd starts going crazy and going "nah bro, just stay down, just stay down, it's over" >I'm literally one hundred percent fine, so I dust myself off and immediately stand back up to resume the spar, but everyone's already high fiving the other guy and telling me "it's over, it's over, just stay down" >I tell them I just tripped over the rug, and the normies are like "yeah, cause taekwondo guy kicked you over it", and I tried explaining to them that I stumbled over it myself but they wouldn't listen and they kept saying the taekwondo guy won >First of all, normies are so f------ stupid I can't even believe it, and are absolutely f------ clueless when it comes to fighting >If the spar had gone on for like 30 more seconds, I would have swarmed him and won and it would have been over >Second of all, you can't even "win" a spar, so w--? Why are normies so retarded, bros? Anonymous 04/08/24(Mon) 17:07:37 No. 193334 ►>>193336 >>193352 >>193369 >>194408 File: 02fcf6401a1b939a64c1fd86d(...).jpg (34 KB, 600x612) >be me >TKD f-- >Know it's dumb but keeps me in shape, plus can do cool flips n s--- >Be at party, talking to cutie 3.14 >She likes my muscles >Do some dumb flips to show off >Kick off bottle cap >Everyone is impressed >Manlet with Thai armbands walks up to me >Breathing heavily "you know that wouldn't work in a street fight, right?" >Yeah, that's not why I train, just do it for fun >Dumb smile comes across his face "wanna spar?" >Sure, why not? >Manlet spergs out, runs toward me with flailing arms and legs, screaming like superlek >Shell up because don't know what's happening >Unphased >"Heh, you know I landed every one of those shots" he's already completely gassed >He's coming back in for another autistic spazz attack >Throw spinning back kick to keep him off >He blocks but it still pushes him backward because it's a back kick >Falls on his ass >Is spazz crying on the ground >"I just tripped, I swear! TKD is lame. You're all normies!" >"Reeeeeee" >Take cutie 3.14 home >Everyone thinks I'm a hero >Mfw

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Anon made powerful enemies. | /r/Greentext

File: 6a01156e4c2c3d970c01a511b(...).png (229 KB, 320x256) Jonathon Van Buren@gmail.com Anonymous (ID: 72hLQx6c >>307975199 >>307975208 >>307978492 >>307979003 >>307979138 >>307979758 >>307980843 >>307981463 >>307981568 >>307982385 >>307984703 >>307985627 >>307986636 >>307986659 >>307986861 >>307987414 >>307987639 >>307988013 >>307988622 >>307989188 >>307989551 >>307989595 >>307989625 >>307989793 >>307989976 >>307990423 >>307992371 >>307992829 >>307994145 >>307995224 >>307998449 >>307999637 >>308001341 >>308001579 >>308002058 >>308002364 02/14/21(Sun)09:09:55 No.307968281 >>307968755 >>307970362 >>307970572 >>307973017 >>307973035 >>307973196 >>307973250 >>307973332 Legally speaking, what could happen to a person if they threw kudzu bombs on my property? >> Anonymous (ID: xc32W5B Anonymous (ID: 39h9QVq9) 02/14/21(Sun)11: e: 1607734931853.jpg (35 KB, 480x480) >>307968281 (OP) >most of my enemies are >most of my enemies are >most of my enemies are Kek >>307968281 (OP) 02/14/21(Sun)09:13:05 No.307968755 ►>>307969405 Im sure youre asking for defensive reasons anon. Its perfectly logical to assume this is going to happen to you in the near future Anonymous (ID: mwQ40K60) 02/ File: 1612743408307.jpg (32 KB, 411x306 >>307969405 >Most of my Now i'm inter are they are Anonymous (ID: 72hLQx6c) 02/14/21(Sun)09:17:17 No.307969405 >>307969746 >>307970610 >>307972816 >>307973461 >>307973863 >>307978854 >>307979177 >>307979418 >>307980082 >>307980134 >>307980237 >>307980662 >>307980988 >>307981127 >>307981172 >>307981500 >>307981529 >>307982072 >>307982238 >>307982593 >>307983003 >>307983206 >>307983253 >>307984078>>307984086 >>307984303 >>307984400 >>307984482 >>307985053 >>307986161 >>307986181 >>307986861 >>307986945 >>307987230 >>307987471 >>307987612 >>307989309 >>307989880 >>307990541 >>307990797 >>307991381 >>307991484 >>307991723 >>307992371 >>307993392 >>307994831 >>307996061 >>307996093 >>307996310 >>307996826 >>307996837 >>307996919 >>307996924 >>307997323 >>>307997727 >>307997849 >>307997930 >>307998160 >>307998166 >>307998392 >>307998776 >>307999506 >>307999976 >>308000142 >>308000491 >>308000506 >>308000914 >>308000980 >>308001134 >>308001229 >>308001579 >>308001768 >>308002146 >>308003208 >>307968755 Most of my enemies are botanists so it's a reasonable assumption that this would be in their box of tricks. Could I get them for destruction of property? Or would it be some lameass littering crime? Anonymous (ID: VCsAPAUW) File: kudzu.jpg (226 KB, 1140x641) ~~ JUI JUJĦU 02/14/21(Sun)09:24:54 No.307970610 >>307969405 >Most of my enemies are botanists >>307992829 >>308002058 Anonymous (ID: EBLZQWM4 02/14/21(Sun)09:42:08 No.307973332 File: 1612891372381.jpg (7 KB, 200x195) >>307977468 >>307979546 >>307993750 >>30800057 >>307968281 (OP) What the hell have you been getting up to in your free time, Anon? >Most of my enemies are botanists now THIS is the content I come to this godforsaken site for >>307969405 >Most of my enemies are botanists Bamboo can grow several feet in a day. ☐ Anonymous (ID: 61HmlvKb) 02/14/21(Sun)09:42:58 No.307973461 File: 1611891231567.gif (515 KB, 200x200) >>307969405 >Most of my enemies are botanists so it's a reasonable assumption that this would be in their box of tricks Holy f---, my sides. I dont know why, but that gave be the best chuckle I've had in a while. Thanks, anon. Anonymous (ID: Oloio7PQ this is why you don't pump and dump botanist chicks anon live and learn >>307969405 Anonymous (ID: 5Yk8q8LQ) 02/14/21(Sun)10:19:38 No.307978854 >Most of my enemies are botanists >>307979653 Uh, you want to be careful with those. Their deal with Botan makes them very dangerous indeed. Anonymous (ID: 67KyeT/3) 02/14/21(Sun)10:29:13 No.307980082 File: 1520887456486.png (919 KB, 1280x876) >>307969405 >my enemies are botanists 02/14/21(Sun)10:22:16 File: mwljue1r4sk11.jpg (68 KB, 1024x1024) >>307969405 >>307969405 >Most of my enemies are botanists We may have days or we may have hours, but sooner or later we all push up flowers. Anonymous (ID: tF41CNjk) th.jpg (58 KB, 355x512) >>307969405 02/14/21(Sun)10:52:13 No.307983206 >all my enemies are botanists. This may not be a bad thing. >>307969405 >>308002058 >having legitimate enemies >they all have an oddly specific field of interest What the f--- is going on in your life? >Most of my enemies are botanists What? >>307969405 >Most of my enemies are botanists Lmao Anonymous (ID: HIGXITIK >>307969405 >>307969405 02/14/21(Sun)10:24:07 No.307979418 >Most of my enemies are botanists anon... you've made a grave mistake...

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Anon marries his fumo | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/18/17(Wed)04:26:03 No.17778993 DMamIXRUMAAsw-L.jpg 615 KB JPG Have you married your fumo yet >>17779028 # >>17780569 #

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