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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Retarded Customer Thread Ill start >Be me ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/09/24(Thu)17:11:19 No.77436414 170 KB PNG >HMPO Customer service advisor >Passport processing has a timescale of 3 weeks >Most useful public service in the UK >Woman calls >"I have a holiday coming up in 2 weeks but I forgot to renew my passport" >invisiblerage.png >"What do you mean it will take up to 3 weeks!?!?!" >"I cant miss my holiday, I booked this 6 months in advance" >(F------ retarded schreeching) >"I DONT WANT TO PAY THE 166GBP FOR A ONE WEEK FAST TRACK" >"HOW DARE YOU DENEY AN NHS EMPLOYEE A PASSPORT" >(Probably a useless HR manager) >"I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR" >*Puts her on hold* >*does nothing for 30 seconds* >Me: "I can set up a callback from our progess team within 72 hours" >"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 72 HOURS? I WANT TO FILE A COMPLAINT NOW" >*File a complaint that will never be followed up* >Me: "A complaints team representative will call you back in 30 minutes" (Lie) >"YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWER" >*Hangs up* This and that happens around 10 times a day.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Why did we stop using them? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: C4XeV148 05/07/24(Tue)06:52:59 No.467336645 1708247681518.jpg 121 KB JPG >planes crash every day >still make planes >cars crash every day >still make cars >trains derail every day >still make trains >boats sink every day >still make boats >ONE Zeppelin explodes >THIS IS THE MOST DANGEROUS IDEA IN HISTORY WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE THIS OH THE HUMANITY When are zeppelins making a comeback?

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Anon doesn't understand zionist logic | /r/Greentext

☐ Are Israelis retarded? Anonymous (ID: FUSSXwsb) 05/09/24(Thu)14:09:24 No.467532015 >gave back Sinai, 1982 >gave back Gaza, 2005 >not fully anexed Samaria (Cisjordania) >now have terrorist threats in Sinai >now have lose many people because Hamas' Gaza Guys, I thought Israel's plan was to rebuild King David's empire (Great Israel), w-- is wrong with the (((Chosen People)))?

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Anon tells the tale of the PHANTOM SHITTER (dark mode edition) | /r/Greentext

>>61585005 (OP) I will tell you the story of the phantom s------ of the USS Essex... >Be Cpl Anon, 2012 >Aboard the USS Essex as we float around the Arabian Sea as a QRF force >We have been aboard the ship for almost 4 months now with no port call, cigs ran out long ago >the men are getting rowdy and bored, resulting in the captain of the ship laying down harsher and harsher rules >One day, a huge, mutant turd is found in the shower room of one of the berthings >Staff find out and throw a big stink. They tell the CO who makes it so that there is now a fire watch in the berthings. >Firewatch never finds anyone. >A few days later after the incident, another sticky mud shark is found in one of the water fountains next to officer country >Size and consistency leads to the conclusion that it was done by the same bandit >BN CO freaks and the ship's captain eventually finds out the whole story. > Calls all Marines to well deck, telling us that they will find the suspect and throw him in the brig, the whole nine yards. >The next morning, outside the office of the captain, is a note from the phantom s------ >"I am going to s--- on the flight deck" >Captain s---- and pisses his pants, institutes ship wide fire watch at night and an ARMED 24/7 flight deck watch. >But there's a twist to this story, as anyone who has served on the Essex knows that in the officer's part of the galley, is a scaled down model of the USS Essex >Two days later, to the surprise of the crew and chagrin of our captain, the biggest turd of them all is found neatly laid on the flight deck of the scaled down Essex. And THAT, is the tale of the phantom s------. He was never caught, and never struck again.

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Skyrim doesn't belong to the Nords | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.03 MB PNG 05/09/24(Thu)23:52:48 No.675911524 >Imperiels invade and enslave every province because they can >Imperiels serve (((Altmer))) who openly want every non-elf to die and are opposing you at every step of your playthrough >Imperiels put (You) on an execution block because paperwork is too hard >the average player thinks the Imperiels are the good faction because Stormcloaks are mean to Khajiit and Dunmer Is racism truly this powerful?

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Silent but deadly | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/24(Tue)16:49:02 No.198935912 darth-maul-timeline-star-wars.jpg 12 KB JPG >no introduction >doesn't even say anything >just starts sword fighting

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Anon doesn't like princess Zelda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/09/24(Thu)18:21:28 No.675892212 >>675892997 >>675895986 >>675898717 >>675899579 >>675899585 >>675899734 >>675903008 >Sent Link back in time so that everything he did ended up being in vain, he lost all the bonds and friends he made, probably started going insane wondering if his adventure ever really happened since no one else in his timeline can validate it. >Also screwed over the adult timeline as since there was no Hero of Time anymore in the timeline, there was no one to stop Ganon from dooming the land of Hyrule again once the seal broke, until Toon Link had to take up the mantle (But by then Hyrule had long been flooded) Triforce of WISDOM my ass

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Admirable anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 265 KB PNG mind 05/09/24(Thu)18:04:58 No.77432253 >straight as a pipe >In love with sporty girl >she laughs at me constantly for being a lard ass >decided enough is enough and started going to an all men's gym >Thinking I could get a slim body so she would change her >weeks and months passed by >getting physically stronger day by day >started grow admiration for my fellow gym mates as I became accquinted with them >all these dudes are fit, kind and welcoming >slowly built up relationships with them >they taught me many things about the way of life and self improvement >I started to think about my own dreams and goals >tfw I rediscovered my life >tfw I became better mentally and physically Thanks, girl that bullied me!

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Why are corpos like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous AREA 06 ROJECTARY unters for G-13 05/09/24(Thu)18:47:27 No.675888420 16:01 HI-FI RUSH HIBI AND VANDELAY VANDELAY EGS_HIFIRUSH_TangoGameworks_NOTEA_01_2560x1440- d8fa177d5bef92c14d4867128b95160c.jpg 625 KB JPG >Post game on Steam with literally zero advertisement >Doesn't sell one million bajillion copies W0000000000WWWWW NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SHUT DOWN THE STUDIO

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Vietanon is mad about the French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1AiUHIFF >>467516329 (OP) # >have gf 05/09/24(Thu)14:25:49 No.467517134 >she insists on me taking her to a French restaurant for a date >ask her why >she says its cause it's the best cuisine in the world >ask her if she ever ate it >she said no >argue with her over how it can be the best if she never ate it >take her there anyways as I also never ate le French food >one of the dishes they served us was literally boiled vegetables with salt and pepper >start thinking of the /int/ and /pol/ memes about how white people can't spice their food >realize these people have this reputation for a reason Date went fine as we both connected over how bad the food was. Thank you France but never again. Also, f--- Jews. >>467517703 # >>467521416 # >>467521730 # >>467522436 # >>467522735 # >>467522757 # >>467522893 # >>467523543 # >>467524126 #

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Anon talks with coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB JPG SKRITCH SKRIT 07/01/23(Sat) 07:30:18 No.901838860 >be me >at work yesterday >working with they/them in the kitchen, she's pretty cook >"anon, what's your favourite thing to do?" >answer idk because she caught me off guard >ask her what her favourite thing to do is >"I love f------. F------ my boyfriend (our coworker) is the best thing in the world" >I jokingly say "haha yeah, he seems like he's got a hung" >she laughs and asks what I mean by that >"well, he's always laid back and doesn't seem to have a care in the world, kinda like nothing bothers him cause he knows he's got a huge c--- >she laughs and tells me she's very satisfied >come into work today >manager asks to talk with me privately >tells me that my coworker said that I sexually harassed her What the f--- did I do wrong? 15 Replies/2 Images View Thread

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Oops...... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/08/20(Tue)02:43:04 No.535226782 1606304985763.gif 331 KB GIF >download video game for free >default search engine changes

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Cus it's Disney | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/06/24(Mon)06:34:05 No.198898557 inside-intel-palpatine-plan-tall_ad0a40e7.jpg 88 KB JPG >I WANT TO KILL MYSELF >I WANT TO HAVE A WOMAN'S BODY How did they get away with it?

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Know Your Meme

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