Anon meets a lesbian | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 45eg1g-2994522771.png (328 KB, 840x859) Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)20:22:46 No.917751396 >be me >NEET sperg you know the deal >meet girl (never thought i would make it this far) >get along, becomes gf >so happy, she brings so much joy into my s--- life > after some time she cheats on me... FOR A GIRL! >feel very sad >get a job >meet coworker, literally an angel, celestial beauty beyond words >start with casual talk, get dinner together, working my way up to something more serious... she reveals she's a lesbian. fml. >meet girl through friend >cute af, also lesbian! >sink back into depression and NEETdom, simp for streamer to have someone give me affection >turns out she's lesbian too!!! AAAHHH!!!! What are the chances every decent girl i meet is lesbian!! Is this proof that God exists and hates me? I just want one girl to love, man

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is out of options | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/21/24(Sun)02:59:46 No.77210541 >pay off student loans recently >get promoted to a lead engineer position at my company >getting more involved with the community and volunteering >going on hikes with groups every week >still single Thinking about splurging on dating apps for a few months. I've gotten women's numbers from IRL interactions, so I know I got the rizz to start the bizz. Problem is that these women are usually just as flakey as online dates, so it's just as much of an expensive numbers game as OLD. I also got a bunch of change burning a hole in my pocket, anyway. Still feels like I'm letting the app companies win after they f----- everyone over. I just really don't want to churn through 1000 bar thots to get an LTR. All I ever wanted was someone to share my life and start a family with. Sick of this s---. Anonymous >>77210541 (OP) # 04/21/24(Sun)03:01:56 No.77210560 my brother it is time for you to use some of that change in your deep pockets to find a wife overseas. keep her in the house and away from western influences. look into Morocco, Greece, Egypt, or Eastern Europe sans Ukraine and Russia.

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Anon learns about landscaping | /r/Greentext

>inherit lawn mower and yard tools from grandpa >learn how to use them properly they are in great condition >put small ad in the local town newspaper >start getting calls from townies >borrow dad's truck and trailer to go out to little old ladies houses in town >make a show of estimating how much to do their yard (its always a hundred bucks) >sit on mower pretending to drive over gladiators heads >make sure not to hit any of their flowers >trim the edges and collect up sticks for my burn pile >tell old lady her flowers are beautiful and thank her for the opportunity >usually get a tip >repeat two or three more times that day >go home and burn sticks and drink beers Is it really this easy? What's the catch?

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More like the whiny drinker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed) 21:29:24 No. 198764737 Tennessee JACK DANIELS KEY drinker.png 585 KB PNG >Did you know that... le strong female characters and minorities bad? >*cuts to clip of J.K Simmons laughing* >*cuts to clip of Nick Cage screaming* >GO AWAY NOW

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Anon makes a bold prediction | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update][Auto] File: ac2335e451f521669872e7ede(...).jpg (45 KB, 768x512) Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:26:47 No. 16571630 >>16571643 >>16572245 >>16572379 Historically speaking, are you ready for the first third party US president? Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:27:23 No. 16571633 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)08:30:53 No. 16571643 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)09:25:01 No. 16571786 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:18:56 No. 16572123 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:53:52 No. 16572238 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:55:58 No. 16572245 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)11:57:07 No. 16572252 >> Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:08:16 No.16572294 Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)12:20:10 No. 16572333 >>16572371 >takes enough votes from the other guys that no one gets to 270 >house of representatives has to decide >pick RFK because he's the only candidate acceptable for both the right and left screencap this

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Yeah its over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/26/24(Fri)16:37:15 No.195573518 17 KB JPG >watching movie with parents >sex scene >awkward silence as they're reminded I haven't done it yet >mom shoots a sympathetic you'll find someone one day look

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Anon is an Otolaryngologist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/01/24(Wed)19:13:38 No.77337504 File: toilet.png (44 KB, 252x238) >be me >be practicing Otolaryngologist >visit my sister who lives in Chendu, China with her chinese husband >husband hates me for some reason, outright pretending not to speak english around me >anyway, have dinner together >china man makes us some rice with beef and other things in it >we finish eating >needtodefecate.jpeg >i stand up and the chinese guy laughs >i glance at him, but dont think much of it >on the way to the s------ I feel a little weird >as I enter the toilet, waves of nausea and discomfort overwhelm me. >the chinese guy mustve poisoned me >look at myself the mirror, my whole face is swollen and red >i have a hard time breathing >i lean in closer to the mirror looking myself in the eye >you are a practicing Otalyngologist anon, you can deal with this >i pull down my pants as my muscles start contracting >i s--- on the s------ and feel the poop slide down the tube, however just as it reaches my sphincter, a muscle contraction pushes it back up >with each effort the feces advance only to be regurgitated by the relentless contractions >ohno.png >i try again, straining as hard as possible >the poops little head comes out a little and ends up being beheaded by the next contraction, while the main log slides back into my abdomen >FuckltlGiveUp.mp4 >I stand up barely able to breathe, I reach into my pockets, hastily finding an antihestamine, seconds later I swallow it >i leave bathroom and go back to kitchen >chinese guy denies that he tried to kill me Why are chinese people like this anons?

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Japan anon complains about Google | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: yo9uWIYS >>466696792 Google 2012: 04/30/24(Tue)22:06:40 No.466704430 >Hey, Google, whose t--- are these? >Oh those? Those belong to Estella Warren! She was in Planet of the Apes (2001). Here, I've got some higher resolution images of that. Here's the uncropped version. Here's a Russian website hosting every single photo of her ever taken. Here she is on the cover of some magazine. >Thanks, Google. You're the best! >Let's be best friends forever, Anon! Google 2024: >Google, whose t--- are these? >Huh? Uh yeah. Here's a wikipedia page about erotica. >Google, this doesnt even have the image I gave you. >It's close enough! Here's a wikipedia page about lingerie. >You're not even trying, Google!

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Anon doesn’t want to chase a 4chan girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG |269.96 KB Tuesday 2024-04-30 21:12:26 2 hours ago 13 Replies 1 Image 77326697 what the f--- happened >meet girl off of /soc/ who actually lives like a 10 minute drive away from me >we click instantly, decide to meetup in less than a week of talking >meet up, it goes great, we spend the entire time cuddling on a bench looking at the sunset and afterwards got coffee >wouldn't stop hugging me for a solid minute when we had to part ways >almost kissed too >Part ways >afterwards she tells me she thinks we're going too fast, got anxious and started asking me why I hugged her if I barely knew her >she starts responding less and less >ffw two weeks of on and off small talk, a lot less engaging than before and I can feel it >send her a message one less time >she doesn't respond >give up messaging her because I don't want to feel like I'm chasing her and acting like a loser I just feel like I lost something great before I even had it 6< REPLY

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Femanon is baiting anon | /r/Greentext

99 KB JPG >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

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Anon has a a condom eating gf | /r/Greentext

515 KB JPG >fiancee has always been sort of dumb, did poorly in high school (we've been together for six years, since junior year) >small (4'9) and chubby but with b------- and hips >bought a big box of flavored condoms on Amazon since we recently ran out >ordered strawberry flavored since usual kind weren't available >over the past week, she's been complaining about stomach pains >has sudden horrible gas and bloating >I did some investigating and found out she's been eating around four condoms a day, just chewing them the best she can and then swallowing them whole >thought they were gummy candies for some f------ reason >doctor said for her to just keep drinking water and to go to the hospital if they don't pass in a couple days 2 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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>I wake up, there’s a psyop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)09:42:06 No. 196640070 1000000745.jpg 212 KB JPG >bro American suburbs are le bad because hecking they are not hecking walkable and the YouTube algorithm told me that was bad! Anonymous + >>196640070 (OP) # okay i believe you 04/29/24(Mon)09:43:04 No.196640102

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Bicurious George | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)20:35:52 No.76743826 >33 >haven't had sex in 9 years >getting closer to trying guys every day 58 KB PNG Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun) 20:37:47 No.76743843 Bicurious George, I get it, that's a good one. 410 KB PNG >>76743885 #

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