Supirior tactics | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

151 KB JPG >daughter says she's trans (9th grade) >wtfdo.jpeg >confess I'm trans too >she's confused >dad no you're not >stop being a bigot Charlotte, let's do this together >wear dress and makeup next morning >daughter is angry, tells me to stop faking >no, I'm trans honey. now get in the car and let's go to school >she's horrified, asks to be dropped off a block away >nope, walk her in, wave to front desk >she's fuming >wife can't stop laughing >pick up daughter, in skirt and heels. s----- makeup, glitter on cheeks. skip your to her and her friends >DAD STOP ITS NOT FUNNY >demand she use my pronouns, call her a bigot >next morning she's done with the whole trans thing, begs me to stop Is being trans now just the 90s version of goth? Definitely not cool when your parents do it. Lean into it and shame them out of it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is enlightened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.84 MB PNG 04/30/24(Tue)12:28:02 No.917662821 > be me, an average Joe, just got into meditation > heard it helps with stress, why not give it a shot > start meditating daily, feeling pretty good > one night decide to go deep, real deep > lights off, complete silence, sitting on the floor in lotus position > minutes turn into hours, or maybe seconds, can't tell > suddenly, it hits me like a ton of bricks > a chilling realization creeps in > "what if when you die... it's just you, in eternal nothingness, forever?" > heart races, but body too relaxed to show it > keep diving deeper into the thought > start to feel the emptiness, the void that awaits > no light, no sound, just endless, aware nothingness > panic internally, but too deep in meditation to stop now > the thought becomes a monster, gnawing at the edges of my consciousness > imagine dying and just being conscious in a void > aware of nothingness, unable to escape, eternal loneliness > try to pull back, but the meditation has a grip on me > finally manage to snap out of it > heart pounding, sweat everywhere > can't shake the feeling that I've glimpsed the afterlife > too scared to meditate ever again > lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if that's all that's waiting >mfw I realize eternity might just be a never-ending meditation session with myself

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Anon does some home improvement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon) 16:07:28 No.10893334 CAT 224 KB JPG >lose job, broke and landlord raises my rent >forced to vacate apartment >landlord says I need to fix holes in wall where ex- roommate put shelves >was where i kept my retro gaming consoles >landlord says it will cost him $200 to fix >but says i can just do it myself with filler and paint >go to a Home Depot for first time ever >elderly man with grinning chipmunk face speaks to me >"so is it interior, exterior? You need primer or undercoating? Is it drywall, wood or brick? You think you will need caulk or sealant? Flobba dob flib flob flabnla ajaj weokammakakama" >tell him i dont even have a paint brush >"well, your gonna need a roller, brush, plastic sheeting flobbib flannibabd ajjdjkdododkdkdod" >feeling of existential dread overwhelms me >immediately turn around and walk out store >sell my original NES console to pay for wall damage F--- life. Its GG bridge time.

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Anon is in a happy relationship | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/23(Sat) 14:15:21 No.660124978 My wife only plays Stardew Valley but hates doing the caves because she hates combat s--- so she has me clear it for her. She claps and cheers every time I finish those sections for her and makes me whatever I want for dinner after. It actually makes me feel genuine happiness when she does this. >>660125178 # >>660125319 # >>660125683 # >>660125732 # >>660125845 # >>660126729 # >>660126772 # >>660126872 # >>660126898 # >>660126959 # >>660127026 # >>660127159 # >>660127443 # >>660127591 # >>660127634 # >>660127764 # >>660127778 # >>660128186 # >>660128605 # >>660128665 # >>660128735 # >>660128782 # >>660128785 # >>660129014 # >>660129396 # >>660129443 # >>660129539 # >>660129575 # >>660129681 # >>660129747 # >>660129868 # >>660131032 # >>660131659 # >>660132005 # >>660132680 # >>660132957 #

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Probably the most realistic greentext in a long time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 142 KB PNG 04/29/24(Mon)23:31:28 No.77316310 >haven't cleaned room since november >8 garbage bags resting in room >about a dozen piss bottles under my bed >haven't showered in months

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Anon makes the most out of it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 12/17/23(Sun)08:04:12 No. 910936344 > go to therapist because I keep getting harassed to > talk about it > no body who f------ begged me to go asks how it was > therapist has some nice t--- > go to therapy to look at t--- and it's free because it's state issued The state can suck my mouldy penis

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Anon is so depressed that he wishes he lived in the fallout universe | /r/Greentext

FT 29 KB JPG >be me >20 year old wageslave who's sick of living in mom's basement and is saving up to move out >decided to work for Amazon because of the $15/hour >work 10 hour shifts walking around a warehouse picking items off shelves and putting them in totes >f------ sucks >one day, pop in earphones and put on the New Vegas radio soundtrack >pretend I'm the Courier walking back and forth to complete missions >pretend my scanning gun is a .357 >pretend to go into VATS whenever I see my manager in the distance >manage to get through the day a lot quicker >Feeling a lot cooler about myself Anyways, can one of you guys recommend me the quickest way to kill myself, it felt so good acting so retarded that I know there's no more hope for me and I need to end it fast before I turn into even more of a full on retard.

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Anon nearly got caught in a trap | /r/Greentext

132 KB JPG >Some girl in my area I don't know dm's me on instagram story calling me hot >asks me to video call her >Don't really like her appearance but don't have much to do so f--- it >shes wearing some cat ears and kinda moans when she speaks >pretty weirded out at this point >she starts flirting with me calling me hot etc >i just say thanks >she suddenly pulls out some pink furish handcuffs >"should i wait for you to come?" >I reply uhhh how old are you again >"im 15 but gonna be 16 next month" >Nope the f--- out and block her immediately Dude I'm 22 w-- happened to 15 year olds nowadays?

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Anon has a drug problem | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >Be me >Unemployed for 3 months >Finally land a job at Spectrum >wants me to do a drug test within 48 hours of accepting my offer letter >Im a hard core smoker for the last 3 months to help with stress >Tomorrow is the drug test bros I smoked like 4 days ago with a dab pen and im hella stressed I need this job Ive been drinking water like a fish is there anyway I can pass this test?

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Anon comments on campus life 2024 | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_7646.jpg (990 KB, 1170x1929) Moments ago Zionists through a backpack full of mice into the #UCLA encampment. Mice appear to have been injected with something. School admin is not protecting students. @SanaSaeed @PplsCity Council @AJEnglish @CAIRNational @abierkhatib @SuppressedNws @BTnewsroom @ACatWithNews 0:02 ANK 冠 5:33 AM - 4/29/24 From Earth - 1.8M Views Jews threw a backpack full of mice into encampment Anonymous (ID: Nwuyyw/F 04/29/24(Mon)16:25:23 No.466578023 >>466578055 >>466578125 >>466578185 >>466578603 >>466579104 >>466579313 >>466579317 >>466579452 >>466579464 >>466579623 >>466580318 >>466580625 >>466580667 >>466580737 >>466580900 >>466580984 >>466581711 >>466582085 >>466582215 >>466582710 >>466582792 >>466582891 >>466582917 >>466583108 >>466584532 >>466584826 >>466584863 >>466585086 >>466585154 >>466585300 >>466585406 >>466585606 >>466586048 >>466586214 >>466586290 >>466587038 >>466587154 >>466587162 >>466587238 >>466587995 >>466588123 >>466588799 >>466589296 >>466589798 >>466590085 >>466591294 >>466591600 >>466591739 >>466592011 >>466595228 >>466595344 >>466595907 >>466596590 >>466596602 >>466597332 >>466597335 >>466597895 >>466598992 >>466599313 >>466599344 >>466599993 >>466600893 >>466601489 Zionists threw a backpack full of mice into the UCLA encampment. Mice appear to have been injected with something. New well-poisoning? Anonymous (ID: LgbtX6xu 04/29/24(Mon)22:03:52 No.466601489 File: current mood.jpg (63 KB, 1067x800) >>466578023 (OP) >Take over campus. >Complain campus officials are not protecting you from mysterious mice.

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Anon don't be sad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/24(Tue) 06:57:31 No.77319023 Had a heightpill taken today H 568 KB PNG >Walking into gas station >6'5 man in front of me >Fat woman behind him >I'm behind her >She doesn't see me >He holds the door for her >Goes in but sees me and pushes open the door a little >I say thanks >She holds the door for him "Now it's my turn!" all giddy >He walks in >I follow >She realizes she can't just close the door in my face >All her giddy, bubbly behavior just disappears at the sight of me >Say thanks >She coldly grunts something in response

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Anon Joins The Discourse | /r/Greentext

File: headphone.jpg (8 KB, 259x194) Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)22:23:55 No.77319607 [Reply] >>77319731 >be me in college >teacher is late so classmates are talking >they discuss tiktok getting banned >wanna be part of the discussion so say that it's a good idea cause its affection children's attention spans and it's also dangerous for the cause tiktok is full of teens dancing provocatively >they tell me their tiktok only shows them memes and trends so it must be my algorithm >tell them its not and ask a girl to check her tiktok to prove my point >its only memes and trends >they tell me now its my turn to open tiktok on my phone >PANIC.EXE >tell them i just remembered i only use tiktok on my brother's tablet so i have to talk to him about it >someone snatches my phone when im not looking >never let anyone touch my phone so never bothered to set up a password >some f------ stop me from grabbing my phone while laughing >they open up tiktok >its all tiktoks of teen girls dancing, feet fetish stuff and women breastfeeding their babies with their boobs out >they call me a disgusting p-------- even tho im not >grab my phone and push one of them and run away anons i dont wanna change college but i cant take any more of this the f------ rumor will spread and ill have to see them tomorrow

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Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)20:05:31 No. 917645667 1714430411884229.jpg 41 KB JPG >be me >put on gay p--- of muscular men f------ >d--- gets rock hard what does this mean? how should I proceed with my life? Anonymous 04/29/24(Mon)20:07:35 No.917645742 Well, the obvious answer is to move to Las Vegas and get a job as a Michael Jackson impersonator. But there's always the French Foreign Legion.

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