Anon is down bad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous [ 55 KB JPG 04/24/24(Wed)05:45:53 No.20112863 >be me, 25, awkward as hell >live next to family with Down Syndrome niece >she's actually really cute and always smiling >always feel like I'm gonna say something wrong around her >one day, she comes over to my yard and starts playing with my dog >I try to make small talk, but it's super awkward >somehow, we end up playing tag for like an hour >I'm sweating bullets, but she's laughing and having the time of her life >next thing I know, Emma's coming over every day to play >her family seems cool with it, but I'm still super nervous >we start having little conversations, and I'm actually starting to enjoy it >hugs me every time she sees me >pray not to have an erection every time she hugs me >fast forward a few weeks, Emma's family is at my doorstep, looking furious >apparently, they think I've been "grooming" Emma or some crap >next thing I know, I'm in court, trying to explain that I'm not a creep >my friends find out >"a downie? haha w-- bro" >they laugh harder when I try to explain >fast forward a few months >cleared of blame in court >reputation still destroyed forever >"haha I heard he's down to f---" >"he wouldn't let her down" thanks, life.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon creates a thread dedicated to you. | /r/Greentext

3h (4/24 17:07) 265810747 73 Re - 16 Img JPG 41KB (520 × 350). ugly.jpg 41 Replies ITT: Ugly M------------ Post the ugliest of the ugly 3h (4/24 17:08) · 265810774 4 Replies >>265810747 (OP) . 3h (4/24 17:08) · 265810778 4 Replies >>265810747 (OP) . 3h (4/24 17:09) 265810786 4 Replies >>265810747 (OP) . 3h (4/24 17:09) · 265810787 4 Replies >>265810747 (OP) 3h (4/24 17:10). 265810806 16 Replies >>265810774 >>265810778 >>265810786 >>265810787 >We did it r*ddit! 0

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But how tho | /r/Greentext

>second largest film industry after hollywood >zero (0) good films

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No ducking way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 540 KB PNG 04/24/24(Wed) 17:13:41 No.917367118 >raised 3 baby ducks because their moma abandoned them >let them free to roam my garden and feed them once per day for 2 years >I also made a small pond for them >one day feeling down so decided to go to the garden to watch them >they just fly away >it's been 1 week and they still haven't shown up ?? : Anonymous 04/24/24(Wed) 17:36:10 No.917367490 >>917367118 (OP) # maybe they've been abduckted 26 KB JPG >>917367702 # Anonymous04/24/24(Wed)17:47:18 No.917367702 >>917367490 # Sensible Chuckle 979 KB GIF 0.917367549 0.917367559

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Anon believes in pokemon master race | /r/Greentext

File: GLEhLFhWQAANEOh.jpg (63 KB, 594x714) Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)00:37:13 No.77127869 >> >>> >>77128014 >>77128076 >>77128137 >>77128326 >>77128801 >"Ash why there are so many different types of Pokemon?" >"Genetics and evolution just like the Professor says" >"And why some are smart and some aren't?" >"Purely economic factors" Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)00:55:59 No.77128002 There is only one race, the pokemon race Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)00:57:11 No.77128014 >>77127869 (OP) >an entire race of people who were held back from properly developing will continue to have issues Who would've thought Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)01:05:55 No.77128076 >>77127869 (OP) >>"Genetics and evolution just like the Professor says" Did you forgot Arceus? Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)01:13:13 No.77128137 >>77128164 >>77127869 (OP) Pokemon aren't even real you idiot. If you honestly think that fictional cartoon animals can give insight into real life race issues then you are retarded. Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)01:16:19 No.77128164 ►>>77128347 >>77128137 OP is a retard that would ruin the game genociding anything that wasn't an Alakazam Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)01:39:48 No.77128326 >>77127869 (OP) I wish Dawn was real.

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Anon becomes a post-doctorate subject | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB PNG 11/10/21(Wed)18:07:27 No.158997931 >>158997375 (OP) # >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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What was his problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB JPG 04/24/24(Wed)11:40:37 No. 198548531 >"Yes Harry, I know that we have literal luck in a bottle, a potion so unthinkably powerful that it seemingly bends fate to our wills in ways that we could have never predicted (which, by the way, suggests the existence of a nigh omnipotent entity that for some reasons does your bidding after you drink a potion)." >"I know that if all the members of the Order took a sip of that retarded fortuna-ex-machina and attacked Voldy, we could end this terrible war in one afternoon and be back on time for our gay tea and crumpets. The only problem with that potion is that you can't use it too often, but we wouldn't need to. Once would be plenty. Or maybe we could have one different member drink a full vial during every mission, to ensure its success." >"I have forgotten none of that, Harry. I don't have dementia. I simply prefer to cause as much death as possible with an absurdly convoluted plan that involves you gaining possessions of 3 ancient artifacts through interpreting my vague hints, none of which will be effective against Voldemort, and then push him into accidentally killing himself because wands choose their masters and somehow predicted that the chain of ownership of the Elder wand would go me-Draco-you." >"Now go back to your dorm and stop yelling Reparo at the crotch of all our transsexuals students. I'm out of points to give Griffindor."

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You load 16 tonnes, what do you get? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 158 KB JPG 02/10/23(Fri)16:24:30 No.29554341 >hitting things off well with a cute cis guy >kinda falling in love with him >I say during a conversation that guys who want virgins are delusional, dumb, and overly judgmental >he says "Yeah, I totally agree, nothing wrong with having a past or some experience" >I tell him "Thanks. I've slept with maybe... 60 or 70 people? It's not that big of a deal. All that matters is the present." >he looks uncomfortable and says "uh... yeah" >distances himself from me afterwards What.

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American Job System Moment | /r/Greentext

>There is a labor shortage >Apply for job >Not hiring @Sundaeys

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>Playstation exclusive >grabs popcorn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sony files patent for Al that (...) 04/24/24(Wed)00:35:15 No.674310104 Sony patents auto-play game feature which would allow Al to take the lead By Jessica Jones / April 22, 2024 Sony's most recent move in the gaming scene has started both interest and discussion with its new patent petitioning for an auto-play highlight that use simulated intelligence innovation. This element could permit simulated intelligence to assume command over interactivity for players who would prefer to watch than effectively partake. Rather than asking a companion or accomplice to play a game, players might actually depend on man-made intelligence to dominate. >Al replaces your job >Al generates your media Untitled.png 766 KB PNG >Al replaces real-life socialization >Now Al replaces your f------ private entertainment as well What exactly is the endgame of this s---? Do corporations want us to live in a world where humans do literally NOTHING, every single task is handled by "Al" instead?

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Anon's Crush | /r/Greentext

GOLLY! I'M SOOO~ SORRY! 'CUZ IT'D BE A REAL SHAME... I PROMISE DIDN'T MEAN TO KNOCK YOU OVER! YOU'RE JUST SO SMALL THAT I DIDN'T SEE YOU! Y'KNOW... YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL! IF 1 CRUSHED YOUR TINY LITTLE BODY UNDER MY HOOF! cozy_glow_by_alloyrabbit_deitkt1.jpg 870 KB JPG >tfw never be stepped on by oversized Cozy Glow

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Anon..... Wins? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Mon 02 Nov 2020 18:46:18 No.9399416 Quoted By: >>9399444 >>9399467 >>9456245 Report >>9398411 >You're going to do it >You've known Femanon for years, and you're incredibly close >After mustering all of your courage, you've decided to write a letter confessing your feelings for her >It was a lot of work >Not just emotionally, but literally >She's, like, thirty feet tall so the letter had to be huge >The horrible "hand"writing makes you cringe, but it was the best you could manage working with a writing utensil that was as large as your body >The words had to be large enough to be legible to her giant, beautiful eyes >She's stunned as you hold the letter out to her >The bystanders watch on eagerly; you can't really do this in private, on account of her enormous size >She doesn't reach down to take the letter >"A-anon... That's so..." >Tears well up in the corner of her eyes >"I'm sorry..." >An awkward silence falls over the area as your heart plummets into your stomach >She's rejecting you? >You were certain she felt the same way >She turns to run away, and you call out desperately >Why? >You love her so much, and you were so certain that she loved you back >She sobs, tears streaking down her cheeks >"W-we can't be together... b-because I'm a Giantess!" >...what? >She falls back onto her butt as she cries, shaking the ground and knocking over a trashcan >"I'm so sorry! I-I should have told you s-sooner! I was so selfish! I kept it a secret because I didn't want you to be afraid of me!" >Is this, like, some kind of joke? >You glance around the area >Everyone else looks just as confused as you >She sniffs as she hides her face in her car-sized hands >"You're probably terrified that I'm going to eat you, or squish you for fun... I won't blame you if you never want to see me ever again..." >... >Uh...

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Anon can't looksmaxx well enough | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: A8mxPn6Y 04/17/24(Wed) 06:43:01 No.465258596 >move out >go to the gym for a year, now really buff >get haircuts every week, fixed skin problems >spend 5k on trendy clothes 1007 KB GIF >girls still dont like me WHAT THE F--- DO THEY WANT

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