Anon feels sorry. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Women, I am sorry. 50 KB PNG >huge gut, moobs >used to like big boobs >enjoyed watching them clap and jiggle >therefore developed a huge crush on a volleyball team member with an enormous rack >used to simp on her hard a >recently got fat due to needing an amount of energy for a contest >started working out to fix it. >well, those things started jiggling the moment i applied force to my body >and oh boy do they jiggle. >the inertia feels like a chicagoian black man named tyreek is punching me in the guts for calling his fit trash >and they are so f------ heavy somehow it hurts even without them bouncing >feels like wearing two dumbells on my body that feels pain >tfw this is how it feels to have huge boobs And women had no ways to get rid of it while facing s--- from simps...... You know what? I am sorry, Cherry from highschool.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon gets a friend | /r/Greentext

File: pepelaughz.jpg (40 KB, 800x450) >"uh, Anon?" Arab Guy Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 18:46:45 No.917295888 >be me >walking home from work >notice this Arab guy taking out the trash from the dumpster >i assume that this is his job, he does this every day. >suddenly, he trips and falls >i run over and help him up >In a thick Arabian accent, he says: "Thank you sir." And starts small talking with me. >"so, what is your name?" >"a good name that is. I am Hassan Al-Asad" >we start talking for a bit, im pretty confused, but i just go along with it >he talks about how he lives in a two-room apartment with his wife and three kids >"we live in that building up there" >he points to a s----- looking condominium >he talks about how he works two jobs, during the day he teaches math at the local university and when his shift is over, he's a garbageman >he comes back home to his crappy apartment after 11 hours of nonstop work only for a quick dinner, short sex with his wife, and sleep. >tells me that he's fine with his life, and that Allah will repay his kindness greatly someday >"what do you do for a living, mr. anon?" >tell him that im working at an office part time before i go to university >he laughs >"hey, maybe ill be your proffesor someday!" >i laugh as well >"haha, maybe..." >we get along pretty well >"So, Hassan... what do you do when you get home? after dinner and stuff." >"Oh, I go on 4chan's /b/ /r9k/ and /pol/ to say racist things about arabs." >i raise my eyebrow, confused >"uh... arent you arab?" >he laughs, much louder than before >"yes, but i just like to..." >he tries to think of a word >"Troll?" >"yes, thats it, troll! i like to troll people and convince them that arabs control the world. especially if theyre from Iraq, my home country!" >ask him how many posts he makes in a day >"oh, i post about 100-200 posts a day, all with the same message" >mfw all those racist/pol/tard posts against arabs all come from the same guy >mfw that guy is arab himself

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anon is happy :D | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 80 KB JPEG 4/23/2024, 12:40:18 AM > be me, 17-year-old high school senior No.67970180 > shy, not many friends, but really into drawing > decide to join art club, super nervous > first meeting, sit in the corner, sketch quietly > girl next to me looks over, smiles > "Hey, that's really good!" she says > heartattack.exe > chat a bit, turns out we both love anime > start hanging out after school to watch Studio Ghibli movies > fast forward a few months > we've become really good friends, feels like I've known her forever > one day, she gives me a small notebook > it's filled with drawings of us and all our favorite moments together > "Thanks for being my friend, anon. You've made this year amazing," she writes >mfw I realize I've found my best friend >mfw I'm not so shy anymore < > feelsgoodman

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Its at 26:55 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 18:57:34 No.74105458 K EX EN sg-joerogan-tucker-1200-x-628-1200x630-1.jpg 69 KB JPG >haven't listened to Joe Rogan in years >decide for the first time in awhile to give a listen to the new one >Rogan literally brings up chimps within the first 30 minutes and says verbatim >"Yeah, they'll tear you apart" What the f--- dude, does this guy really only talk about chimps 24/7?

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Anon has a neuron activation, pattern recognition | /r/Greentext

File: 1712777850444026.png (197 KB, 528x960) Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 17:31:42 No.674239295 >>67 >>674240229 >>674240510 >>674240595 >>674240621 >>674240692 >>6742 >burned my finger really bad >can't properly click my mouse What are some gaems that I can play with my left hand only? ☐ Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:32:41 No.674239375 ► >>674239295 (OP) amogus Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 17:32:51 No.674239389 AMOGUS ☐ Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:32:56 No.674239397 >>674241940 >>674239295 (OP). sus >> Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:00 No.674239407 sus Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:10 No.674239420 >>674239375 >>674239389 came here to post this Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:32 No.674239460 Imposter. >>674241940 >>674239506

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Anon is normal and straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)21:00:44 No.77229163 >be me >be normal and straight >we have gay sex and I completely forget about the nightmare I had

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Emergency plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG | 273.34 KB Monday 2024-04-22 22:20:45 15 minutes ago 77230206 here's my plan >get drunk >cut my wrists >go to ER >they call my parents >parents think I am a retard and stop pestering me to finish my degree or get a job >I get to be a NEET for the rest of my life while my family ignores me because they finally realize I am an embarrassing disappointment do you think it will work? Reply 0 Images 1< REPLY

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Anon despises boomers and the government | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: FvmXd0y2) 05/23/20(Sat) 13:28:18 No.258534577 >>258534849 >>258534923 >>258535107 >>258535207 >>258535362 >>258535382 >>258535541 >>258535583 >>258536410 >>258537399 >>258537629 >>258537878 >>258539310 >>258539388 >>258541003 >>258543211 >>258543570 File: 3546347547373.jpg (116 KB, 555x719) >Wrench >>258532602 (OP) # I wanna start a company where I install septic tanks in trailer parks. The equipment I need. >Shovel >Prefabbed septic tanks What the government says I need. >Yearly training courses that cover everything from septic systems to water heaters. 4 days a year. >Forming and registering an LLC for taxes, must have a physical address separate from your home for the company. >Business license in county, meets once a year has your main competition (large septic tank installer) on the board. >1 million dollars in liability insurance >$200,000 in bonded money for liability >Environmental compliance training, requires 2 year AA degree to enroll at the college for 2 semester course. >Business health insurance and unemployment for just yourself (12k a year) in addition to your personal health insurance. >Certification in small machinery operation, another yearly training course, because insurance would cost 24k a year if you just used a shovel (worried about back injuries). >Small backhoe for digging a hole. >Insurance for the backhoe > Truck to transport backhoe and class B license, insurance for truck and yearly courses on operating the truck >Permits for every installation >Inspections for every installation before you finish, turns a 1 day job in a 3 day commitment. What boomers needed >Shovel >Wrench >Prefabbed septic tanks

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So don't you hold me, if you don't wanna know me. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG | 342.93 KB Monday 2024-04-22 20:33:25 2 hours ago 77228868 >Talking with female coworker >She keeps asking me about my opinion on bodycount >Tell her that a high one is disgusting to me >Wants to know how much exactly is too much for me eventhough Im saying that I dont have an exact number for that >Just say 10 because she wont stop asking >Gives me a shocked look as if I just killed someone or something Clown society 8 Replies 1 Image 4< REPLY

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Anon gets a visit from his cousin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 620 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon)13:44:27 No.917284479 >8 y/o cousin is staying over >she walks into my room late at night >"I can't sleep... can you play with me?" >"let's keep this a secret, mom doesn't want you up this late" >turns on my switch >fires up Mario Kart 8 and lets her knock herself out >she passes out a half hour later >gently pick her up and carries her back to her room, tucking her in and gently closing the door behind me >always been the "cool cousin" and this trip solidified it, now she's begging her parents for a Switch >end of story Now tell me, what were you sick f---- expecting to happen? Anonymous cool story bro Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 13:50:24 No.917284719 04/22/24(Mon) 13:56:36 No.917284974 when i was like 5, i would ask my tween female cousin to show me her vadina lol

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anon becomes beautiful | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 119 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon) 13:56:59 No.77229887 i was taking 10 cold showers every day and my maxilla literally pushed itself forward i went outside and touched grass like someone from reddit told me to and i saw myself transforming from ricecel mutt into nordic chad i talked to just one(1) woman and i went from being 5'8 manlet to 6'4 chad in a blink of an eye I didn't post on 4chan for a month so women's personality detectors started to see that I'm a kind and caring man, instead of some bad misogynist nazi incel and i got surrounded by women asking me out the same day i literally look like picrel now and I've found a beautiful girlfriend bye losers

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Anon is a student of language | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/24(Thu)22:41:34 No.77188818 S 103 KB JPG >Australians speak English differently from us "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting culture!" >Canadians speak English differently from us "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting culture!" >Scots speak English so differently from us we're barely speaking the same language "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting. culture!" >black Americans from the South speak English differently from us HAHA WE WUZ KINGZ N S--- HAHAHA GET IT!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE RETARDED SAVAGES WHO CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH RIGHT LOL

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Is the loisence situation really that bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZmC5f8xy) NORTHERN BOOTLAND REPUBLIC OF RELAND VMLES ENGLAND NORWAY FRANCE 87 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon)22:04:06 No.465817778 >can't own guns >cant own knives >can't own any weapons whatsoever >can't own kitchen cutlery >can't camp outside >can't smoke cigarettes >cant vape >can't drive unless your car is approved by government twice a year > can't into anything on uncontrolled migrant invasion >can't protest without state approval >can't defend yourself (attacker will walk free and you will face a 10 year sentence) >can't own a house (all property belongs to the crown) >almost all earnings you manage to scrape together are stolen to serve the horde >must bow to the unelected monarch >individuality is looked down upon, barely tolerated, crab bucket mentality >mafia and African/arab gangs control all major cities with machine guns and can kill and rob without consequences >even police are complete cucks and regularly get bullied by gang members How do they not kill themselves?

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