Anon feels sorry. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Women, I am sorry. 50 KB PNG >huge gut, moobs >used to like big boobs >enjoyed watching them clap and jiggle >therefore developed a huge crush on a volleyball team member with an enormous rack >used to simp on her hard a >recently got fat due to needing an amount of energy for a contest >started working out to fix it. >well, those things started jiggling the moment i applied force to my body >and oh boy do they jiggle. >the inertia feels like a chicagoian black man named tyreek is punching me in the guts for calling his fit trash >and they are so f------ heavy somehow it hurts even without them bouncing >feels like wearing two dumbells on my body that feels pain >tfw this is how it feels to have huge boobs And women had no ways to get rid of it while facing s--- from simps...... You know what? I am sorry, Cherry from highschool.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets a friend | /r/Greentext

File: pepelaughz.jpg (40 KB, 800x450) >"uh, Anon?" Arab Guy Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 18:46:45 No.917295888 >be me >walking home from work >notice this Arab guy taking out the trash from the dumpster >i assume that this is his job, he does this every day. >suddenly, he trips and falls >i run over and help him up >In a thick Arabian accent, he says: "Thank you sir." And starts small talking with me. >"so, what is your name?" >"a good name that is. I am Hassan Al-Asad" >we start talking for a bit, im pretty confused, but i just go along with it >he talks about how he lives in a two-room apartment with his wife and three kids >"we live in that building up there" >he points to a s----- looking condominium >he talks about how he works two jobs, during the day he teaches math at the local university and when his shift is over, he's a garbageman >he comes back home to his crappy apartment after 11 hours of nonstop work only for a quick dinner, short sex with his wife, and sleep. >tells me that he's fine with his life, and that Allah will repay his kindness greatly someday >"what do you do for a living, mr. anon?" >tell him that im working at an office part time before i go to university >he laughs >"hey, maybe ill be your proffesor someday!" >i laugh as well >"haha, maybe..." >we get along pretty well >"So, Hassan... what do you do when you get home? after dinner and stuff." >"Oh, I go on 4chan's /b/ /r9k/ and /pol/ to say racist things about arabs." >i raise my eyebrow, confused >"uh... arent you arab?" >he laughs, much louder than before >"yes, but i just like to..." >he tries to think of a word >"Troll?" >"yes, thats it, troll! i like to troll people and convince them that arabs control the world. especially if theyre from Iraq, my home country!" >ask him how many posts he makes in a day >"oh, i post about 100-200 posts a day, all with the same message" >mfw all those racist/pol/tard posts against arabs all come from the same guy >mfw that guy is arab himself

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anon is happy :D | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 80 KB JPEG 4/23/2024, 12:40:18 AM > be me, 17-year-old high school senior No.67970180 > shy, not many friends, but really into drawing > decide to join art club, super nervous > first meeting, sit in the corner, sketch quietly > girl next to me looks over, smiles > "Hey, that's really good!" she says > heartattack.exe > chat a bit, turns out we both love anime > start hanging out after school to watch Studio Ghibli movies > fast forward a few months > we've become really good friends, feels like I've known her forever > one day, she gives me a small notebook > it's filled with drawings of us and all our favorite moments together > "Thanks for being my friend, anon. You've made this year amazing," she writes >mfw I realize I've found my best friend >mfw I'm not so shy anymore < > feelsgoodman

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Its at 26:55 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 18:57:34 No.74105458 K EX EN sg-joerogan-tucker-1200-x-628-1200x630-1.jpg 69 KB JPG >haven't listened to Joe Rogan in years >decide for the first time in awhile to give a listen to the new one >Rogan literally brings up chimps within the first 30 minutes and says verbatim >"Yeah, they'll tear you apart" What the f--- dude, does this guy really only talk about chimps 24/7?

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Anon has a neuron activation, pattern recognition | /r/Greentext

File: 1712777850444026.png (197 KB, 528x960) Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 17:31:42 No.674239295 >>67 >>674240229 >>674240510 >>674240595 >>674240621 >>674240692 >>6742 >burned my finger really bad >can't properly click my mouse What are some gaems that I can play with my left hand only? ☐ Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:32:41 No.674239375 ► >>674239295 (OP) amogus Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 17:32:51 No.674239389 AMOGUS ☐ Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:32:56 No.674239397 >>674241940 >>674239295 (OP). sus >> Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:00 No.674239407 sus Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:10 No.674239420 >>674239375 >>674239389 came here to post this Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)17:33:32 No.674239460 Imposter. >>674241940 >>674239506

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Anon is normal and straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon)21:00:44 No.77229163 >be me >be normal and straight >we have gay sex and I completely forget about the nightmare I had

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Emergency plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG | 273.34 KB Monday 2024-04-22 22:20:45 15 minutes ago 77230206 here's my plan >get drunk >cut my wrists >go to ER >they call my parents >parents think I am a retard and stop pestering me to finish my degree or get a job >I get to be a NEET for the rest of my life while my family ignores me because they finally realize I am an embarrassing disappointment do you think it will work? Reply 0 Images 1< REPLY

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Anon despises boomers and the government | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: FvmXd0y2) 05/23/20(Sat) 13:28:18 No.258534577 >>258534849 >>258534923 >>258535107 >>258535207 >>258535362 >>258535382 >>258535541 >>258535583 >>258536410 >>258537399 >>258537629 >>258537878 >>258539310 >>258539388 >>258541003 >>258543211 >>258543570 File: 3546347547373.jpg (116 KB, 555x719) >Wrench >>258532602 (OP) # I wanna start a company where I install septic tanks in trailer parks. The equipment I need. >Shovel >Prefabbed septic tanks What the government says I need. >Yearly training courses that cover everything from septic systems to water heaters. 4 days a year. >Forming and registering an LLC for taxes, must have a physical address separate from your home for the company. >Business license in county, meets once a year has your main competition (large septic tank installer) on the board. >1 million dollars in liability insurance >$200,000 in bonded money for liability >Environmental compliance training, requires 2 year AA degree to enroll at the college for 2 semester course. >Business health insurance and unemployment for just yourself (12k a year) in addition to your personal health insurance. >Certification in small machinery operation, another yearly training course, because insurance would cost 24k a year if you just used a shovel (worried about back injuries). >Small backhoe for digging a hole. >Insurance for the backhoe > Truck to transport backhoe and class B license, insurance for truck and yearly courses on operating the truck >Permits for every installation >Inspections for every installation before you finish, turns a 1 day job in a 3 day commitment. What boomers needed >Shovel >Wrench >Prefabbed septic tanks

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So don't you hold me, if you don't wanna know me. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous PNG | 342.93 KB Monday 2024-04-22 20:33:25 2 hours ago 77228868 >Talking with female coworker >She keeps asking me about my opinion on bodycount >Tell her that a high one is disgusting to me >Wants to know how much exactly is too much for me eventhough Im saying that I dont have an exact number for that >Just say 10 because she wont stop asking >Gives me a shocked look as if I just killed someone or something Clown society 8 Replies 1 Image 4< REPLY

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Anon gets a visit from his cousin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 620 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon)13:44:27 No.917284479 >8 y/o cousin is staying over >she walks into my room late at night >"I can't sleep... can you play with me?" >"let's keep this a secret, mom doesn't want you up this late" >turns on my switch >fires up Mario Kart 8 and lets her knock herself out >she passes out a half hour later >gently pick her up and carries her back to her room, tucking her in and gently closing the door behind me >always been the "cool cousin" and this trip solidified it, now she's begging her parents for a Switch >end of story Now tell me, what were you sick f---- expecting to happen? Anonymous cool story bro Anonymous 04/22/24(Mon) 13:50:24 No.917284719 04/22/24(Mon) 13:56:36 No.917284974 when i was like 5, i would ask my tween female cousin to show me her vadina lol

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anon becomes beautiful | /r/Greentext

⠀ Anonymous 119 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon) 13:56:59 No.77229887 i was taking 10 cold showers every day and my maxilla literally pushed itself forward i went outside and touched grass like someone from reddit told me to and i saw myself transforming from ricecel mutt into nordic chad i talked to just one(1) woman and i went from being 5'8 manlet to 6'4 chad in a blink of an eye I didn't post on 4chan for a month so women's personality detectors started to see that I'm a kind and caring man, instead of some bad misogynist nazi incel and i got surrounded by women asking me out the same day i literally look like picrel now and I've found a beautiful girlfriend bye losers

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Anon is a student of language | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/24(Thu)22:41:34 No.77188818 S 103 KB JPG >Australians speak English differently from us "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting culture!" >Canadians speak English differently from us "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting culture!" >Scots speak English so differently from us we're barely speaking the same language "Oh wow what a cool accent and interesting. culture!" >black Americans from the South speak English differently from us HAHA WE WUZ KINGZ N S--- HAHAHA GET IT!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE RETARDED SAVAGES WHO CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH RIGHT LOL

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Is the loisence situation really that bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ZmC5f8xy) NORTHERN BOOTLAND REPUBLIC OF RELAND VMLES ENGLAND NORWAY FRANCE 87 KB JPG 04/22/24(Mon)22:04:06 No.465817778 >can't own guns >cant own knives >can't own any weapons whatsoever >can't own kitchen cutlery >can't camp outside >can't smoke cigarettes >cant vape >can't drive unless your car is approved by government twice a year > can't into anything on uncontrolled migrant invasion >can't protest without state approval >can't defend yourself (attacker will walk free and you will face a 10 year sentence) >can't own a house (all property belongs to the crown) >almost all earnings you manage to scrape together are stolen to serve the horde >must bow to the unelected monarch >individuality is looked down upon, barely tolerated, crab bucket mentality >mafia and African/arab gangs control all major cities with machine guns and can kill and rob without consequences >even police are complete cucks and regularly get bullied by gang members How do they not kill themselves?

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