Ayatollah Anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 4/14/2024, 1:25:42 AM No.89437801 16 KB PNG > Be me > Islamic Republic > proud champion of Muslims being oppressed by Jewish state > Fund Islamist group to attack Jewish state > Jewish state starts bombing Muslims > Demand a ceasefire to save the Muslim children > Jewish state attacks the military compound that I set up in the wing of one of my embassies > finally have casus belli to attack Jewish state directly > PaybackTime.jpeg > Jihadi army sends hundreds of drones to attack Jewish state. > Jewish state shoots down most of my drones > other Muslim states shoot down the rest > fail to strike any military targets in the Jewish state > realize I lost hundreds of drones for nothing > find out I managed to kill one (1) person in the Jewish state > she was a Muslim child >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Why are we like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous of it 127 KB PNG ? >everyone loves it >see r/soda 04/14/24(Sun) 21:34:40 No.916872871 >be redditard >see r/neverbrokeabone >they do nothing but idolize milk and talk about drinking hundreds of gallons of it >everyone loves it >see r/hydrohomies >they do nothing but idolize water and talk about drinking hundreds of gallons >make a post there about how I drink 70+ gallons of Coke per year >dozens of comments telling me to slow down and I'm gonna give myself diabetes W--? I thought that was the point of the sub

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Anon drinks a lot of soda | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 127 KB PNG gallons of it ? >everyone loves it >see r/soda 04/14/24(Sun)09:34:40 No.916872871 >be redditard >see r/neverbrokeabone >they do nothing but idolize milk and talk about drinking hundreds of gallons of it >everyone loves it >see r/hydrohomies >they do nothing but idolize water and talk about drinking hundreds of >make a post there about how I drink 70+ gallons of Coke per year >dozens of comments telling me to slow down and I'm gonna give myself diabetes W--? I thought that was the point of the sub

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Anon wants to die | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769156213 Why would dead gid Fie A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES 3 REASONS WHY 6.7 KB JPG >Depressed teen >Tell parents 2 hr ago >They somehow think f----- 13 reasons why is the source of my depression and i shouldn't watch the second season >F----- lul >I try to tell them that its good because it opens up conversation about important issues >They just shout at me, disregarding my opinions, as per >wat do 19 REPLIES 8 IMAGES Anonymous 1769156270 >>769156213 (OP) kill urself to prove them wrong lol REPLY 2 hr ago

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Anon is too mentally ill | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 04/14/24(Sun)16:51:08 No.77130116 >have mental health crisis and the hospital forces me into their little crazy room >take all my s--- and make me wear these extremely uncomfortable paper clothes that don't fit correctly >literally there all f------ night waiting for the stupid crisis person to come talk to me >pressure me to start seeing a therapist >get someone who specializes in "dialectic behavior therapy" and "cognitive behavioral therapy" >suppose to help me change my view on life >never talked to anyone about my depression or outlook on life before >they are technically still in college almost done with their master's degree or something >first meet them they are cheery and helpful >as meetings go on it seems like they give less and less feedback and there are long periods of silence during our meetings >we had scheduled 4 appointments in advance, with one of them being a zoom appointment >never get the zoom call >that's kind of weird, something must have come up >call the office and ask about them >"oh they quit" >"they quit?" >"Yes. It was very sudden. We're still trying to move all their clients around. We're sorry we didn't get to you" >keep telling myself they probably just had something else come up >can't shake the feeling that they quit because of me

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We all make mistakes in the heat of passion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Need Russian rabbit Vtuber. 23/09/2022 02:36 i don't have a conputer anymore lol 23/09/2022 02:36 What happened to it 5800 23/09/2022 02:38 she didn't answer she didn't answer 23/09/2022 02:38 ANR1/5150 Answer to what 23/09/2022 02:39 to my question "bunny or rabbit" maybe she did but i don't understand Japanese either way i broke my PC 06/13/23(Tue)06:26:16 No. 51284429 515967968541.jpg 38 KB JPG I smashed my PC half a year ago because i thought Pekora was Russian, so like i typed my superchat in Russian but i forgot she was Japanese because i had all of that insane idea that she was Russian and lived with me. >She wasn't I smashed the only working laptop in all of EAS zone.

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Anon is weird conspiracy theorist I guess? | /r/Greentext

File: 1693207037110.png (1.1 MB, 2048x1152) THE Holy GHOST The Holy Ghost 04/14/24(Sun)12:09:37 No.77130187 [Reply] THE LAST JUDGMENT 1. Abortion: The Holy Ghost said, Abortion in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the embryo mother; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 2. Birth Control: The Holy Ghost said, Birth control in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the male and the female; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 3. Death Penalty: The Holy Ghost said, Death penalty in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the jurisdiction; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 4. Euthanasia: The Holy Ghost said, Euthanasia in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the body's owner; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 5. Human Cloning: The Holy Ghost said, Human cloning in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the donor(s): however; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 6. Human Embryo Destruction: The Holy Ghost said, Human embryo destruction in that world is now acceptable when solely desired by the embryo owner; there are too many souls in that world, and 144,000 new developing worlds need old souls. 7. Marriage: The Holy Ghost said, Marriage is not acceptable in that world; as I wrote in Gospel 20:35 "But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage." https://www.deathwithdignity.org https://www.prochoice.org The Holy Ghost

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Anon goes to university | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/14/24(Sun)12:02:01 No.77130159 CAN'T DRIVE A CAR >Go to Uni cats4yourmom BUT I CAN DRIVE YOU INSANE 115 KB JPG >Literally first year where everyone arrived newly >Most of the women already have bfs from where they came from already Do women just come pre-packaged with a bf at this point?

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Anon doesn't like gays | /r/Greentext

File: indpepe.jpg (8 KB, 225x225) I hate f--- Anonymous (ID: KxOTgKEq) 04/14/24(Sun)13:20:06 No.464947685 >>464948178 >>464950239 >Be me, a couple of years back. >At school, eating lunch by myself. >Suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder. >Turn around and see Sreejith, the gay of our class. >This kid is a flaming queer, the flamiest of the queers alive. Faggier than the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. >To tell you how flamey he is, he wears lip gloss, blush with glitter, eyeshadow with glitter, carries around a Hello Kitty backpack (with white stuff leaking out of the slightly open zipper), and writes with Lisa Frank pencils, puts glitter in his hair, reads beefcake magazines, and speaks in a high pitched effeminate voice voice with a lisp, and has a permanent 5 o'clock shadow that contrasts with everything else to really drive home the weirdness. >He sits next to me >"High there sweetie! *winks*" >Weirdedout.jpg >"Uh... what do you want, Sreejith?" >"I just wanna have some fun. Don't you wanna have some fun too sweetie? *winks*" >This m----------- then straight up starts rubbing my back. >"WHAT THE HELL! F--- OFF F-----!" >He then decks me in the head, knocking me onto the ground. >Shoves a bouquet of flowers into my mouth (as an improvised gag for my mouth), removes my pants without my consent and then starts assraping me in front of the entire class. >I end up being known as "Bottom Anon" by the entire class from that point onwards. Ever since then I've hated homos. Total f-- death.

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Anon gets scammed in life | /r/Greentext

اور 31 KB JPG our university" >"wow anon you are smart you should go to university" >go to university like a good kid >"wow anon you are smart you should get Master" >study to get Master degree like a good kid >"wow anon you are smart we need you in >study to be a Professor like a good kid >now be a 9-5 wagie with $88k/year >meanwhile Belle Delphine's net worth is $2 million for doing almost nothing it was almost like a scam 3 Replies View Thread

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Anon has a factory reset | /r/Greentext

DOPAMEME APP PRAY THE GAY AWAY 82 KB JPG >Be me, gay >Meet a cute boy at the gym >He's doing squats, so I guess he's a gay bottom >We talk, and really hit it off >We start to hang out outside outside of the gym, we go to cafés to drink coffee, etc. >We become great friends, and we hang out in each other's homes >One day, while watching a movie, things get heated >We start making out, and I'm on top of him, ready to d--- him down >I take off his shirt >She has small little boobs >OMG she's a boymoder! >Feels too awkward to stop now, so I suck her t--- and f--- her until we both c-- >I guess I'm straight now >We start dating, and have sex many more times >I stop masturbating to gay p---, and eventually I lose all interest in the same sex

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Anon is fighting the obesity epidemic | /r/Greentext

63 KB PNG >be me >ugly and autistic like most of you >tell girls I know that they are getting chubby and that I find this attractive >becaude they don't want a guy like me around them, they stop eating like pigs and lose weight > little by little, women in my social circle are becoming more and more slim, healthy and beautiful Ill never get p---- anyway, might as well be useful to society and tackle epidemic obesity so you guys can get quality p---- later on

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Femanon had a terrible childhood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/10/24(Wed) 17:47:50 No.77086464 why were my parents so f------ retarded? >be me >have retarded parents >they get me my first ds >they get me a bunch of shovelware disney princess s--- >"mom can I play Pokemon?" >"mom can I play fire emblem?" >"mom can I play f------ Mario???" >"NO!!!! THOSE ARE FOR BOYS!!!! PLAY YOUR S----- CINDERELLA SLOP!!!!" >family wii night, the only time I get to play a decent game >brothers picked out smash bros brawl >i pick captain falcon >momtard walks in >"NOOOOO!!!! THATS A BOY CHARACTER!!!! CHANGE IT TO SOMETHING GIRLY LIKE PEACH OR ZELDA!!!" >everyone goes quiet >dad tells me to change my character >this goes on for years did anyone else have parents who were like this??? | didn't get to have my own "boys game" until I was 18 and bought one myself at a gamestop.

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