Anon lost his v-card to a cavern | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous lost my v-card but I want to v(...) 191 KB JPG 04/05/24(Fri)21:55:14 No.77026141 >girl from work starts showing interest in me >been khhv for 25 years >she's super cute tho >we date >goes surprisingly not terrible >she's very into me it seems >late night >we are alone together at her place >"anon, before we go further, I have something to tell you" >o s--- here comes the STDs >no she just has a massive gaping vag >her bedroom has several gigantic dragon dildoes >lined up in order from smallest to largest >the largest is as big as my arm, she says she can't even fit it all >already regret >go thru with it anyway >nothing else wrong with her except c------ is impossible for both of us >honestly one of the nastiest things I have ever done in my life >want to ghost her but dunno how without looking like the biggest a------ ever The issue is that people here keep telling me "that is just genetics" and I don't know how you can look yourself in the mirror when you tell such obvious lies

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon is a Proud, Hopeful Zionist | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2024-04-05 133218.jpg (51 KB, 605x414) G. Globe Eye News @GlobeEyeNews - 2h Iran: These are the last days for Israel 148 420 2.8K ılı 63K B israel Mark 04/05/24(Fri)13:50:15 No.77027823 >Be Israel >Found your country under the pretense of an ancient state from millennia ago >claim that all religious or ethnic jews are automatically native to this specific plot of land even if their ancestors left thousands of years ago >ethnically cleanse nearly 750,000 Palestinian Civilians from your new land >Continuously Suck the C--- of American Funds so you can keep acting cocky with your arab neighbors >ffw Now >The brown people we keep in that tiny strip of land with little food or water decide to fight back >F------ mass kill every civilian you see (unironically not that big of an exaggeration) >So cocky you outright say no to the US whos telling you to stop r----- kids in Gaza >MISSILE STRIKE A F------ IRANIAN CONSULATE IN SYRIA >IRAN IS OPENLY GETTING READY TO INVADE ISRAEL >THE US WILL SUPPORT THEM MILITARILY If Iran doesn't P---- out, History will remember this as Israel's doing. Zionism is a mental illness

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Anon's dad was the best. | /r/Greentext

Like, ears in Rain, Scoo Anonymous 1 hour ago 46515536 1474820705804.jpg (23.3 KB, 242x206) 1 REPLY >Born in the year of 1993 >Mother abandoned me at birth >22 year old father abandons all his dreams to raises me alone >times are tough as f--- as he has to juggle work and me >whenever he has free time we play vidya together >we move from old nintendo and s--- to WoW raiding and so on >helps me with school and even encourages me to study in a university >follow his advice and manage to finish uni with engineer degree >1 year ago he gets diagnosed with lung cancer >time goes on and it gets so bad he cant get out of the hospital bed >visit him every single day >week ago >"Hey Anon, was I a good father?" >"You were the best, dad" >"Heh, thanks son" >2 seconds later, flatline >today >finally decide to organize his stuff in his old bedroom >find a notebook >in details he wrote every day he spent with me >"today me and anon went to carnival and did etc." >every day ends with "I hope im doing enough for him" >last entry is before he enters the hospital > "All these years I did what I could, I dont regret (mothers name) abandoning me and Anon and not even calling once" >"I just hope Anon has grown up to be the best he can" You were the bets old man, godspeed to you.

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Anon Sexually Assaults his friend | /r/Greentext

105 KB PNG >be me > 23 year old guy from hungary > be bisexual > Live with your best friend (25M) in a flat > Always had a crush on him, but he is not into it. > He has sleep paralysis, he told me that every timeit happens he is unable to move, but he can see a man with long hair standing next to his bed. Never do anything, just stand there, then leaves. > I decided to do some trolling > Next night at around 5AM I went to his room. > I have long bron hair, which i always tie up, but now i let it to cover my face. > I take of my clothes and stand next to his bed > His eyes are open, but he is not moving, he cleraly sees me, but he doesn't know its me, because its pitch dark > I start to take his blanket off. > I see his huge d--- > I start tolick it, then I put itinto my mouth > He can only move his eyes and they are watching me > When his d--- is hard enough i sit on his lap. His whole meat slips into my a------. > I start gently bouncing on it, feels amazing > I moan in a deep voice > I felt that he busted a huge nut in my a------ > I get of him, and he still lying on his bed looking at me. > With slow movements a put the planket back on him, and gently I walk away backwards, disapearing in the darknes > Next day he told me about it > He doesn't understand why the sleep paralysis demon did this, but he says he did not feel anything during the "shadow sex" > He never realized it was me > From now it's become a habbit, i do it once every week when i see him in that stae > He get used to it, he said at least the demon is not so scary anyomre There is no demon Flórián, you just had ot gay sex with me

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Bro really said Edgerunners is slop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 567 KB PNG 04/05/24(Fri)13:36:49 No. 197956139 > Grew up watching anime > Loved stuff like Eva, Spirited Away, GITS, Turn-A Gundam, FMA 2003, Bebop, etc... > Stop watching anime around late 2010s because it had completely collapsed in quality while I myself developed a distaste for really shlocky anime. > Fast forward 2024, there's constant shilling of anime on /tv/. > Decide to check out some of the titles out of curiousity. > Frieren- Slop > Cyberpunk Edgerunners- Slop > Mushoku Tensei- P--- slop > JJK, CSM, AOT- Edgy Shonenslop W-- is wrong with modern "anime fans"? Why are they proud of this dogshit? I used to read fanfics during my teen years and quality of writing in these shows is on par with those fanfics. S----- animations and ugly designs too. I think I'll stick to older cinema, books and the occassionally good modern flick.

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First we feast and I’m your host Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/03/24(Wed)21:41:52 No.20368632 ition Facts 170 0. To autism gang LOCK IN what we eating Anonymous IMG_6975.jpg 214 KB JPG 04/03/24(Wed)21:48:12 No.20368653 327 what a coincidence IMG_6978.jpg 287 KB JPG >>20368656 # >>20368670 # >>20368672 # >>20368778 # >>20368872 # >>20368882 # >>20368942 # >>20368968 # >>20368991 # >>20368997 # >>20369003 # Anonymous >>20368653 # 04/04/24(Thu)00:06:53 No.20369003 >fork and spoon on a hairy blanket you moved to take the photo Women can be disgusting but it only makes sense that the types that want attention on cuckchan are disgusting by default.

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Why do they like Israel so much? | /r/Greentext

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It just works | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/24(Thu)17:36:08 No.672418691 >Disney buys Star Wars for $4 billion >Microsoft buys Bethesda for $7.5 billion Todd is an absolute hustler 98 KB JPG

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Chuck on Casuals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/24(Thu)21:59:01 No.672448090 >>672448785 >>672452116 >>672452158 1692560304631.jpg (43 KB, 1280x720) google yandex iqdb wait >You didn't beat the game. >I what? >You didn't beat the game! "Dex sorcery build", for Christ's sake? And you played online too? What a joke! I worked my ass off to get to the ending! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer? You do what I do because you kill bosses faster and have fun? I committed my life to this! You don't slide into it like a cheap pair of slippers and then reap all the rewards! >I thought you were proud of me... >I was! When you stopped playing Roblox and tried out things like Ocarina of Time, I was very proud! >So that's it, then, right? Keep ol Anon down playing Zelda, cause he's not good enough to be a Souls player? >I know you. I know what you were, what you are. People don't change! You're a f------ casual! And a casual I can handle just fine, but a casual who displays his fake achievements is like a chimp with a machine gun! The Souls games are sacred! If you abuse those builds, casuals come in and force the devs to casualize further! This is not a game! And you have to know that on some level, I know you know I'm right. You know I'm right!

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The hunt to break the neet cycle continues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 677 KB PNG 03/30/24(Sat) 17:50:54 No.76952898 >go job hunting >Half of the places only have online applications >Many places keep saying they've just hired people or have other options >Online applications ask you to make an account >Spend hours filling out paper and online forms, 12 or so total >A week passes >Only 1 interview

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Anon has great sex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/24(Thu)09:25:54 No.916384035 File: 500.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) >switch to doggy feelsgood.exe >my fav position too >Had 6.5/10 gf when in uni >Her favorite position is doggy >do it all the time >back at mine one evening >going at it >usually difficult to get my gf to orgasm quickly >often takes a good 30-40 mins of 4play to get her anywhere near ready >but she seems to be enjoying my D alot tonight >pulling at sheets >moaning >im getting close >close my eyes and pick up the pace >d--- is beyond dimonds >hold back as long as i can >her back arches suddenly >her breathing speeds up >she quivers all allong her body >p---- gets tighter >OHSHIT >blow huge load inside her >best sex we had had yet >I pull out >tell her it was amazing >shes still in doggy position >still breathing heavy >still quivering >still still foaming at the mouth? >mfw my gf has severe epilepsy >mfw i just blew my load inside her unconscious seizing body >mfw it was the best sex we ever had

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Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/15/22(Sun)00:19:08 No.6436549 309 KB PNG >Be me >Diaper f-- ever since I can walk. Remember stealing diaper's while just getting out of diapers. Always knew it was wrong, and afraid to get caught. >Once, when I was seven. My mom asks me why there was a diaper in a trashcan >"I uhmmm uhhh found it and threw it away" >"Uhh huh... >I will never forget my mom's knowing grin... >Fast forward 20 years. Still a diaper f--, still living in my moms basement. >Learn Goodwill sells adult diapers in the bundles and nobody asks questions. >Take them home, middle of night so mom doesn't see. >Mom is hyper vigilant, schizophrenic, and religiously against anything "perverted" >I know she checks my room for anything she can find. She'll find things in my room and confront me with it. "What's this? a map to a w---- house!" (it was a map to a work site printed on the internet, but anything from the internet is from perves. >Remove diapers from packaging and stuff into black trash bag, stuff trash bag into nook in wall where nobody but me knows. Be a diaperfag until one day... >Come home from work, middle of night, pitch black in kitchen. I kick something laying on the floor. >It's the trash bag full of diapers >I take it, run out of the house, chuck it in a ditch, then go back home. It was never mentioned.

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The kindly old man archetype | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous LOTR 04/05/24(Fri)06:33:58 No.197947305 untitled.jpg 191 KB JPG >watching LOTR for the first time years ago >know nothing about the books or the characters >Gandalf and Frodo show up on screen for 15 seconds >Instantly like them, feel like they were old friends How did they do it? Modern movies could spend 2 hours explaining a character's back story and I still wouldn't give a s---

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