Interesting | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Movie idea 20 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)13:47:06 No.154240634 >aliens come to earth >tell humanity that it must choose one of its races to be eliminated before they share their knowledge and tech >a worldwide anonymous poll is held where you just have to think of which race to get rid of (none is an option as well) >plot twist: as the poll ends everyone who voted for a certain race gets a corresponding symbol tattooed on their face >aliens instantly leave without purging anyone or saying a word >chaos ensues

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Blame the studios | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Wasted potential: The movie DESDE OF THE KERE HOBBIT DECEMBER 14 242 KB JPG 03/30/24(Sat) 19:31:01 No. 197767335 >a simple short story dragged out into 3 movies >frightening looking practical Azog design replaced by a grey bland cgi monster >fantastic sets and practical effects ruined by excessive bloom, post production tampering and 48 fps making everything look fake >long exhausting hackson fight scenes taking up runtime that could have been used to flesh out the dwarves' characters It had so many things going for it but the time restraints and at times poor choices from hackson really dragged it down to mediocrity

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The end of the world according to /pol/ | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1696.jpg (379 KB, 766x859) My brother Warned me Anonymous (ID: hQJV+iyt) [03/30/24(Sat) 12:11:13 No.463406579 [Reply] >>463408331 >>463408340 >>463408376 >>463408570 >>463408712 At 8:34 PM eastern standard time, due to inter governmental experiments, the whole world will go out. They are testing the core of the earth and are studying the effects of the shift of the poles, my brother worked for NASA and he tried to expose it but was imprisoned with false marijuana accusations. He said that today, there will be extremely strong wind and a huge earthquake right before the "Fosincou". He told me that there's a chance international mayhem might take place and encourage everyone to stockpile on 5 fences, 46 long spears, food to last you 7 months, 2 generators, 3 aircraft tires, 490 gallons of diesel, 200 gallons of 91 octane fuel. Make no mistake, today is the day that the world changes forever +19 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. ☐ Anonymous (ID: 3T7rxPMm) [+] 03/30/24(Sat) 12:34:20 No.463408331 File: signal-2024-03-24-16-20-42-055.gif (383 KB, 346x255) >>463406579 (OP) REEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEER

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Anon has a great history teacher. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: DHCNW8CE) 12/13/20(Sun)14:50:22 No.296412451 >>296418628 >>296420433 File: 7FD7C206-448D-4FED-A3A2-6(...).jpg (86 KB, 768x574) >>296403322 (OP) >start of year 9 (14-15) >new history teacher >he makes up that the government has announced a whole education system overhaul be separated out >goes into detail about how the new system will separate girls and boys, teach things like farming and housework >he's actually describing the 3rd reich education system without telling us it's that >makes us measure our noses saying they've also found that kids with long noses may be more likely to be criminal so they'll >keeps talking about how the boys are now going to have military and farming class and the girls are going to be taught to be nurses and housewives >finally after we have all the details, asks who's happy about the new system >whole class, girls and boys, put their hands up >everyone genuinely excited, high fiving >tells us it's not real and he made it up to teach us about the evil nazis >everyone groans with disappointment >people genuinely p----- it's not real >he now looks close to tears >moves on >pained look on his face for rest of class

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Unexpected peacekeeping issue | /r/Greentext

апопутно 6521809 2 days ago 59.6 KB JPG >year is 1992, Italian military goes to Somalia for some peacekeeping work under the UN >Same area they used to be active in the African theater of WW2 >When they set up camp, they're approached by an 80 year old Somali, in full WW2 Italian kit with a tricolor sash and perfectly maintained rifle >Soldiers w-- hard and ask him what he's doing >He's a veteran of an Ascari group that fought for the Italians in WW2 >Insists that he's back to fight for them "like in the old days" won't be turned away because he's taken an oath to serve them for life, and intends to keep it >After consulting the general, they keep him around as sort of a mascot, give him an honorary position as a camp guard and let him raise the flag >He's very loyal and they all love him except for one awkward problem >In ceremonies and formal events, no matter how much they always tell him to stop, he always screams, "Viva re, viva duce, viva Italia!"

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Anon is the 10,000th customer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Zxqcq6Tq 12/06/23(Wed)14:16:16 No.451047269 >>451043119 (OP) # >go to see w---- >balloons drop from the ceiling >confetti blasts in your face >people start jumping out from behind objects and curtains >CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! >you're our 10,000th customer!!!! >some man in a suit gives you a firm handshake and looks you in the eye >girls in bikinis hand you a giant coupon for a free venereal disease screening >the man suddenly shoves a microphone in your face and with the biggest grin you've ever seen asks you how it feels to be a winner >before you can answer the question a flash of a camera leaves you disoriented >it's the local news >they want to run a story on your heroism >the very next day you're on the front page of the newspaper >"Man Saves Baby From Fire" the headline reads

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Bravo Kojimbo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/23(Sat) 14:18:35 No.629784947 No hatred, not even regret. 1677957488526.png 1.08 MB PNG >defects to the soviet union >steals a morbillion dollars >uh I think there shoudn't be borders and shieeeeeet >dies >several men tear the world apart trying to figure out what the f--- she meant by this

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Anon is Chinese | /r/Greentext

>>407174588 >wake up >be Chinese >turn on Glorious Republic's local news >that girl I liked was eaten by an 1.66 MB WEBM escalator yesterday >eat my breakfast rat and head for work >train I was on derailed, killing 12,000 >crawl from wreckage and make it to factory > was 0.3 minutes late >my social credit score has been lowered. will receive visit from my local beating police tonight >start day printing bootleg Ben 10 merchandise stolen from stupid white pigs on the internet >3 dozen co-workers died horribly, including my neighbors in s----- cramped apartment >days over, head home >2 semis with tankers of gas tipped over, destroying the highway and killing 1,456 >kick unsupervised toddler >finally make it home after stepping over a corpse in front of my apartment >eat the rest of that cat I fried for dinner last night >hop on the internet to the incredibly narrow list of government-approved websites >defend China as the greatest country on Earth

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They don't look like apples at all | /r/Greentext

ME : Anonymous phone died lol To be honest they thought you were retarded rofl Because of the whole dog toy thing and how you kept saying it looked like an apple when it wasn't hahaha 03/29/24(Fri)11:37:06 No.30973262 All good, I had fun tonight, did your parents like me? Can I ask why? I was super respectful to them, paid for dinner, drove everyone around, why would they think that? Nooo noooo my dad just said you didnt seem very bright or smart is all lol they didnt mean anything mean by it honey i promise its just how they are lol What the f--- really? It looked like an apple, it was red, round, and looked like an apple, they think I'm retarded because it wasn't??? That really sucks, I hate to hear that, I really enjoyed talking to your folks at dinner tonight and getting to know them, but this whole time they just thought I was stupid? yeah pretty much LOL okay wait wait wait let me reword that, they do NOT think you are dumb sweetie they just think you are not bright that is all I mean yeah...it was clearly not an apple so it was kind of shocking when you said it was Because I f------ thought a dog toy was a giant apple instead of a cherry? listen forget i said anything it is not a big deal rofl told you my parents were nitpicky and judgemental Imfao but you didnt want to listen but who cares if they think you are stupid and dont like you it doesnt matter so drop it please And because of that your parents now think I am some kind of retarded dude? I'm sorry, but that is just insane that because of that one tiny mistake they now think I am retarded and dislike me because of it, I'm at a loss of words to be honest. FBScrn.png 462 KB PNG >Been dating girl for 3 months >Meeting her parents for the first time >We go to her parent's house to hangout >They have a dog who is chewing a toy >Dog brings the toy over to me and drops it >Say "Cute toy, looks like a pair of apples!" >Her parents start laughing hysterically >Tell me it's a set of cherries and not apples >Awkward 2 minute silence after laughter >Eventually we decide to go out to eat at a nice place >Dinner goes well as we all talk about life and work >Offer to pick up the bill and drive everyone home >Girlfriend messages me later >Turns out her parents think I'm retarded and dislike me Attached to the screenshot is a picture of what the dog toy looked like alongside the conversation we had, it literally just looked like apples Am I overreacting and freaking out over nothing? Or are her parents completely f------ insane to hate someone over this?

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Anon plays MTG | /r/Greentext

File: ruckus.jpg (752 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 03/30/24(Sat) 07:22:41 No.76952372 >>76952424 >>76952442 >>76952525 >be me >new MTG set I want drops >have been out of MTG for so long that I didn't even know there was a card shop in my town >pretty excited, head in there right after work >expect the clerk to be an overweight nerd like myself >can't wait to nerd out with him about MTG and buy some cards >might even get invited to a game night >recordscratch.avi >clerk is a 6'3" chad >he barely says hi to me >start looking around at the cards >a stacy comes in and brings him some food, seems to be his girlfriend >don't see the cards I want but pick out a few little things >ask him about the cards while I'm checking out >turns out they had a few sets but sold out >he asks me if I have cash >tell him sorry, just have my card on me >"I'd almost rather not make a sale for so little if you don't have cash." >just say "oh" and put my card away >he starts talking to some customers he knows >no one notices me leave Times have changed MTG bros.

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Anon comes to his senses | /r/Greentext

4h (3/29 17:29) 76950016 46 Re⚫ 3 Img PNG 95KB (516 × 440) · 6hnjxb.png 9 Replies >decide to stop watching p--- and just j------- to my imagination >Imagine a scenario, it takes forever because my mind keeps bouncing around >Decide to write it down in my notes app to have a coherent story that I can even use later if necessary >The story is even more degenerate than the p--- I usually look at >Post nut clarity 10x worse since if I jerked it to some degen doujin I can at least say "man the guy who made that is f----- up" Now I'M the f----- up guy who made it.... Maybe I'm just completely depraved inherently and p--- has nothing to do with it.

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Resolute Defence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why don't you get a flatmate g(...) 03/24/24(Sun)16:12:55 No.76886773 Saki is looking for a place up to $230/wk near Eden Terrace individual listed 3 days ago Ready to move in from Tue 7 May Looking for ✓room in a flat Saki female 27 ⚫ from Japan Hi! I'm Saki! I used to be a nurse in Japan. I'm planning to go to New Zealand in early May. I'm learning English and I'm not very good at it yet, so I apologize if I cause any inconvenience. student vaccinated for COVID-19 Get in touch Write a message to Saki... Send Message Share Report this listing read our Safety Guide > >go to flatmate website qguayt.jpg 133 KB JPG >see hundreds of cuties planning to go to your country >offer them a place to stay >get paid to live with cute girl If you can't sex them even though they are living in your house 12+ hours a day helping them with English then you have no hope

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Speedrunners are so conditioned to insanity that they can't comprehend Occam's Razor anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >cosmic ray bit flip 03/29/24(Fri)13:21:47 No.671757832 >a one in a trillion error house? >it fits >>671758730 # >>671759170 # >>671777192 # Anonymous 84 KB JPG 03/29/24(Fri)13:32:54 No.671758730 >>671757832 # >A cosmic ray would be a real cool diagnosis. God sends a particle that hits the right bit of memory at the perfect timing to ensure some saved frames in some nerd's competition. >But after breaking and entering into this gamer's Twitch account and looking around, I realized that there's a much simpler option. Check this out. >*loads up Mario 64* >This isn't just your average ordinary 27 year old bit of hardware. This is the Vietnam Veteran of 27 year old hardware. It's shell shocked and ready to ramble about little green people. Except in this case, rambling would be... >*lightly blows on the N64, causing the game to glitch* >It wasn't an act of God, just a worn down piece of hardware, taxed after decades of playing the same game on repeat. Treat with component refurbishment and send home to play Mario 64 for another decade.

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