Anon is Chinese | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>>407174588 >wake up >be Chinese >turn on Glorious Republic's local news >that girl I liked was eaten by an 1.66 MB WEBM escalator yesterday >eat my breakfast rat and head for work >train I was on derailed, killing 12,000 >crawl from wreckage and make it to factory > was 0.3 minutes late >my social credit score has been lowered. will receive visit from my local beating police tonight >start day printing bootleg Ben 10 merchandise stolen from stupid white pigs on the internet >3 dozen co-workers died horribly, including my neighbors in s----- cramped apartment >days over, head home >2 semis with tankers of gas tipped over, destroying the highway and killing 1,456 >kick unsupervised toddler >finally make it home after stepping over a corpse in front of my apartment >eat the rest of that cat I fried for dinner last night >hop on the internet to the incredibly narrow list of government-approved websites >defend China as the greatest country on Earth

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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They don't look like apples at all | /r/Greentext

ME : Anonymous phone died lol To be honest they thought you were retarded rofl Because of the whole dog toy thing and how you kept saying it looked like an apple when it wasn't hahaha 03/29/24(Fri)11:37:06 No.30973262 All good, I had fun tonight, did your parents like me? Can I ask why? I was super respectful to them, paid for dinner, drove everyone around, why would they think that? Nooo noooo my dad just said you didnt seem very bright or smart is all lol they didnt mean anything mean by it honey i promise its just how they are lol What the f--- really? It looked like an apple, it was red, round, and looked like an apple, they think I'm retarded because it wasn't??? That really sucks, I hate to hear that, I really enjoyed talking to your folks at dinner tonight and getting to know them, but this whole time they just thought I was stupid? yeah pretty much LOL okay wait wait wait let me reword that, they do NOT think you are dumb sweetie they just think you are not bright that is all I mean yeah...it was clearly not an apple so it was kind of shocking when you said it was Because I f------ thought a dog toy was a giant apple instead of a cherry? listen forget i said anything it is not a big deal rofl told you my parents were nitpicky and judgemental Imfao but you didnt want to listen but who cares if they think you are stupid and dont like you it doesnt matter so drop it please And because of that your parents now think I am some kind of retarded dude? I'm sorry, but that is just insane that because of that one tiny mistake they now think I am retarded and dislike me because of it, I'm at a loss of words to be honest. FBScrn.png 462 KB PNG >Been dating girl for 3 months >Meeting her parents for the first time >We go to her parent's house to hangout >They have a dog who is chewing a toy >Dog brings the toy over to me and drops it >Say "Cute toy, looks like a pair of apples!" >Her parents start laughing hysterically >Tell me it's a set of cherries and not apples >Awkward 2 minute silence after laughter >Eventually we decide to go out to eat at a nice place >Dinner goes well as we all talk about life and work >Offer to pick up the bill and drive everyone home >Girlfriend messages me later >Turns out her parents think I'm retarded and dislike me Attached to the screenshot is a picture of what the dog toy looked like alongside the conversation we had, it literally just looked like apples Am I overreacting and freaking out over nothing? Or are her parents completely f------ insane to hate someone over this?

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Anon plays MTG | /r/Greentext

File: ruckus.jpg (752 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 03/30/24(Sat) 07:22:41 No.76952372 >>76952424 >>76952442 >>76952525 >be me >new MTG set I want drops >have been out of MTG for so long that I didn't even know there was a card shop in my town >pretty excited, head in there right after work >expect the clerk to be an overweight nerd like myself >can't wait to nerd out with him about MTG and buy some cards >might even get invited to a game night >recordscratch.avi >clerk is a 6'3" chad >he barely says hi to me >start looking around at the cards >a stacy comes in and brings him some food, seems to be his girlfriend >don't see the cards I want but pick out a few little things >ask him about the cards while I'm checking out >turns out they had a few sets but sold out >he asks me if I have cash >tell him sorry, just have my card on me >"I'd almost rather not make a sale for so little if you don't have cash." >just say "oh" and put my card away >he starts talking to some customers he knows >no one notices me leave Times have changed MTG bros.

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Anon comes to his senses | /r/Greentext

4h (3/29 17:29) 76950016 46 Re⚫ 3 Img PNG 95KB (516 × 440) · 6hnjxb.png 9 Replies >decide to stop watching p--- and just j------- to my imagination >Imagine a scenario, it takes forever because my mind keeps bouncing around >Decide to write it down in my notes app to have a coherent story that I can even use later if necessary >The story is even more degenerate than the p--- I usually look at >Post nut clarity 10x worse since if I jerked it to some degen doujin I can at least say "man the guy who made that is f----- up" Now I'M the f----- up guy who made it.... Maybe I'm just completely depraved inherently and p--- has nothing to do with it.

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Resolute Defence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why don't you get a flatmate g(...) 03/24/24(Sun)16:12:55 No.76886773 Saki is looking for a place up to $230/wk near Eden Terrace individual listed 3 days ago Ready to move in from Tue 7 May Looking for ✓room in a flat Saki female 27 ⚫ from Japan Hi! I'm Saki! I used to be a nurse in Japan. I'm planning to go to New Zealand in early May. I'm learning English and I'm not very good at it yet, so I apologize if I cause any inconvenience. student vaccinated for COVID-19 Get in touch Write a message to Saki... Send Message Share Report this listing read our Safety Guide > >go to flatmate website qguayt.jpg 133 KB JPG >see hundreds of cuties planning to go to your country >offer them a place to stay >get paid to live with cute girl If you can't sex them even though they are living in your house 12+ hours a day helping them with English then you have no hope

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Speedrunners are so conditioned to insanity that they can't comprehend Occam's Razor anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >cosmic ray bit flip 03/29/24(Fri)13:21:47 No.671757832 >a one in a trillion error house? >it fits >>671758730 # >>671759170 # >>671777192 # Anonymous 84 KB JPG 03/29/24(Fri)13:32:54 No.671758730 >>671757832 # >A cosmic ray would be a real cool diagnosis. God sends a particle that hits the right bit of memory at the perfect timing to ensure some saved frames in some nerd's competition. >But after breaking and entering into this gamer's Twitch account and looking around, I realized that there's a much simpler option. Check this out. >*loads up Mario 64* >This isn't just your average ordinary 27 year old bit of hardware. This is the Vietnam Veteran of 27 year old hardware. It's shell shocked and ready to ramble about little green people. Except in this case, rambling would be... >*lightly blows on the N64, causing the game to glitch* >It wasn't an act of God, just a worn down piece of hardware, taxed after decades of playing the same game on repeat. Treat with component refurbishment and send home to play Mario 64 for another decade.

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Paulie on Israel and Palestine | /r/Greentext

IMG_0893.jpg 119 KB JPG >I dunno T, way I see it, I'm torn on whatevers going on in the Middle East >On one hand, you can never trust those Jews, even if some of em are alright >don't forget T, they killed our lord, a tremendous blow to us Catholics >On the other hand, I'll never forgive those pallingstinians for 9/11

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Walked right into that one | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/29/24(Fri)16:05:55 No.30973896 >"oh you got better at fingering anon" she said >"now I'll show you a new trick involving your lips" I replied (in all truth I just wanted to kiss her) >"Don't get so smug, I already knew how to suck c--- before we event met" she said

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Anon dislikes Shogun | /r/Greentext

File: MV5BNTI4NWNjNDctODRIZC00Z(...).jpg (13 KB, 500x281) Shogun sucks c--- Anonymous 03/28/24(Thu)15:43:05 No. 197711767 exists for shock value >>197711818 >>197711901 >>197711993 >>197712019 >>197712021 >>197712076 >>197712145 >>197712178 >>197712275 >>197712467 >>197712667 >"Duuuude it's like Japanese Game of Thrones!!! Epic political intrigue!!" >Entire show has a washed out saturated grey filter, making the daylight scenes ugly and uninteresting >Random torture gore scene in the first episode where a man gets boiled alive, complete with gratuitous close-up shots of his face melting off >This is never mentioned again, doesn't have any consequences, and only >Ishido very obviously murders a politically powerful regent and blames it on bandits - zero consequences >Every line out of Mariko's mouth is some half-baked philosophical b------- >Lady Ochiba emotes and speaks like a f------ cartoonish anime villain >Mariko's husband returns after being thought dead right after she f----- the protagonist only days after, and now they all just happen to need to live under the same roof - wowzers how dramatic and definitely not contrived >Protagonist hangs up a rotting bird beyond the point of being edible despite intending to cook it, he jokingly tells the villagers they'll die in broken Japanese if they touch it >Instead of clarifying the obvious language barrier, the villagers execute the gardener who disposes of it because of MUH DISHONOUR >Protagonist blames himself instead of the very obviously retarded villagers >Mariko is able to physically defend herself with a f------ polearm twice her size in a restrictive dress, and is able to overpower and kill soldiers twice her size >Episode 6 spends half an hour on an unrelated courtesan subplot that goes nowhere This show is utter garbage and is the biggest psyop of the year. F--- all of you for tricking me into watching this trash.

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Its so over lankletbros… | /r/Greentext

Anonymous HIGH TEST 03/26/24(Tue)13:06:51 No.73908261 LOW TEST lanklet Beta 13513515.png 6 KB PNG >be manlet >muscles look bigger >above average penis looks enormous >can easily punch lanklets in the groin and chins How can lanklets even compete?

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Mood killer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 KB JPG 03/29/24(Fri)03:05:55 No.30973896 >"oh you got better at fingering anon" she said >"now I'll show you a new trick involving your lips" I replied (in all truth I just wanted to kiss her) >"Don't get so smug, I already knew how to suck c--- before we event met" she said That instantly killed the mood, I no longer felt aroused so I made up an excuse. She got all angered yelling me because "I left her hanging with a huge headache". I just don't like it when she mentions or hint that she got f----- by other men, the moment she mentioned sucking d---- made me feel grossed out because that meant she had shallowed some other dudes c-- when I was about to kiss her on the lips. Look I know she has a "past" all women has a past nowadays, so it's kind of dumb staying celibate when all women are being passed around before even turning 15, but it's not that i like it, I don't. I simply don't get it, do women think most men are into cuck s--- or something like that? I don't get off by hearing "oh honey Im good at sucking c--- because I got passed around by the entire college and now you get to date me, aren't you lucky? You are dating their leftovers"

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Bet anon goons daily | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 88 likes nlejay223 Sick and tired of fake n----- 69 KB JPG literally nothing Σ 03/29/24(Fri)18:52:10 No.76943098 why do people drink coffee/do drugs >drink coffee >feel jittery and anxious >not even more productive because you cant sit long enough to do anything >do drugs >burn out your brain cells for some temporary pleasure that gives you people who abuse substances are dumb as f---

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Why are they like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ✡ 5 KB PNG 03/29/24(Fri)13:42:16 No. 195398321 >live in Arab region surrounded by Arabs >have Arab climate and weather >eat Arab food >listen to Arab music >speak an Arab language >use Arab architecture >larp as an ancient nomadic Arab tribe >cut off part of their penises because a mythical Arab man told them to >follow an Arab religion that glorifies the Arab land they live on >tribalistic like Arabs >fanatical and ultra religious like Arabs Why do they still pretend they aren't wannabe Arabs?

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