Anon with his mom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

42 KB JPG >be at a social event organized by the company my mom works at >guy with Down Syndrome accidentally drops part of his drink around my mom's breast area >my mom is like "w--?" >he's incredibly sorry about it and quickly proceeds to start rubbing the stained area with his bare hands (he's oblivious to the fact this is inappropriate behavior) >my mom, who already saw he's a downie, is left stunned, not knowing how to react in order to not hurt the feelings of the poor guy >the following moments she would look all blushed, shyly starting sentences but not finishing them >the guy eventually notices the stain isn't going away, so he increases the intensity of the rubbing >that's when the upper buttons of my mom's blouse would get accidentally unbuttoned >he doesn't mind and is now rubbing her breasts with only her bra in between, and then... >..then I woke up with j--- in my underwear Why do I have dreams like these? Also, how was the story going to follow? Such a cliffhanger.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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What truly happens when you tell a guy to man up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/24(Sat) 16:07:57 No.76806249 28 tumblr_mmfxka3T3X1s8i1jyo3_1280.jpg 130 KB JPG >Had sex with a h----- once thinking it would finally make me a chad and stop being afraid of women >It was terrible and i was too anxious to even get an orgasm >Almost accepted a construction job on another state thinking it would make me less of a p---- >Pussied out of it in the last moment (thankfully) >Took welding classes just to make people stop saying i couldn't handle a manly job (though i did it mostly to prove it to myself) >Constantly switching between embracing my introverted personality and trying to change and be more extroverted and doing crazy s--- i regret later What the f--- is wrong with me... i want this to stop...

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Billions must die | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/16/24(Sat)23:22:35 No.197303721 1700452820990636.png 146 KB PNG >HARKONNENS could be here, he thought. >I've never been on this planet before. There could be HARKONNENS anywhere. The hot Arrakis breeze felt good against his stillsuit. >I hate HARKONNENS, he thought. Hans Zimmer's soundtrack reverberated throughout his urine pouches, calming him down even as the spice blew through his lungs, washing away his (merited) fear of HARKONNENS until the mind-killer was gone and only he remained. >With an orni, you can go anywhere you want, he thought to himself, out loud.

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Anon wanted friENDs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Please patien I have at 03/16/24(Sat)21:28:37 No.76804588 >want friends >don't know how to make/keep them >been alone for so long that it feels unnatural >everyone here is a f----- so that's off the table 9 KB JPG

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Anon Tea-Maxxes | /r/Greentext

download (13).jpg (173 KB, 1600x1157) google yandex iqdb wait dreamstime.com >strangers love me >rave gets hot and I remove robe top >dance hard with huge copper jug >qts miring >guys yelling "its the tea man" ☐ Tea Maxxing Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)16:26:33 No >>64165035 >>64165038 >>64165365 >>64165458 >>64165 >>64167909 >>64169396 >>64169910 >>64170976 >>6417 >Invited to Halloween party/rave >suffer from austim and no costume >fiend weird afganistan robe and copper jug aunt gave me >put tea in the jug and go >everyone asking who I am >I'm a tea man >I'm handing out cups of tea > later a qt starts rubbing my chest and asking about tea Is this what it feels like to make it? ☐ Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)16:29:53 No.64164219 Imao nice work

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Anon has pica | /r/Greentext

You) Anonymous 07/06/17(Thu)17:16:29 No.9136856 >>9136866 >>9136869 >>9136946 >>9137961 >>9138710 >>9139655 >>9139838 >>9139867 >>9139891 >>9141054 >>9141202 >>9141473 >>9141705 >>9141793 >>9141835 >>9141914 >>9142065 >>9142126 >>9142555 >>9142609 >>9143330 >>9143496 >>9143720 >>9143826 >>9143918 >>9143989 >>9144527 >>9144680 >>9145403 >>9145501 >>9145607 >>9146506 >>9146547 >>9146566 What are you most ashamed of having eaten, anon? Anonymous 07/06/17(Thu)17:24:19 No.9136888 >>9139515 >>9139568 >>9139724 >>9141439 >>9141475 >>9141641 >>9141735 >>9141959 >>9142010 >>9142354 >>9142584 >>9142735 >>9142771 >>9142833 >>9142921 >>9143332 >>9143387 >>9143396 >>9143493 >>9143546 >>9143577 >>9143736 >>9143753 >>9143954 >>9144284 >>9144624 >>9144716 >>9144720 >>9144967 >>9145162 >>9145179 >>9145261 >>9145314 >>9145437 >>9145905 >>9146078>>9146107 >>9146125 >>9146551 >>9146714 >>9146768 File: 1419387838690.jpg (64 KB, 600x459) My buddy gave me a man made of tape. As in he covered someone in tape, cut them out of it, and pasted it together again to make a man out of tape. For some reason I cut off its hand and made soup out of it. I made a very basic vegetable stock and added the tape hand, whole. I drank a bowl of it and my mouth tasted like plastic and glue for months. I'm sure it gave me cancer. I was about 15 and still don't know why I did it. Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 11:16:43 No.9143753 File: moarr.jpg (40 KB, 600x434) >>9143763 >>9136888 We need more details. MOAR!!! Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 11:20:16 No.9143763 File: 1443308200525.gif (2.67 MB, 273x206) >>9143753 >>9143784 >>9143801 >>9143994 >>9144560 I don't know what more you want. That's the whole thing. I remember cutting the hand off with a saw (scissors would have compressed the wrist and stuck it together since it was hollow) then next thing I knew I was dropping it in a pot full of veggie stock. I drank a medium bowl of it then threw out the rest in disgust. I guess the glue and plastic clung to my mouth because for months everything had an aftertaste like someone was burning McDonald's toys. LATER IN THAT SAME THREAD Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 15:10:32 No.9144609 File: Fat_b19810_5576352.jpg (27 KB, 517x326) >>9144623 >>9144635 >>9144651 >>9144761 >>9145138 >>9145257 >>9146095 >>9146732 >>9146746 >>9143763 >then next thing I knew I was dropping it in a pot full of veggie stock get an MRI of your brain done for your own sake >>9136888 You did what now? >>9136888 Been browsing since '08 and this is the strangest post I've seen. I can't think of anything more weird off the top of my head. >>913688 >>9143763 >everything had an aftertaste like someone was burning McDonald's toys Anonymous 07/07/17(Fri)22:20:59 No.9142010 >>9136888 include me in screencap >>9136888 what Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 09:12:38 No.9143332 >>9136888 >>9143758 Why did your buddy gave you a tape man in the first place? Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 10:21:25 No.9143546 >>9136888 Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 11:17:20 No.9143758 File: 1411075428148.gif (1.86 MB, 390x220) >>9143332 This is what makes the story so beautiful. There are all these different levels of w-- in there. >9136888 posting in ebin bread even if this is completely made up, someone had to think of something as bizarre as this I am very fat, I should mention, I think I am around 400lbs but not sure for certain I have recently been trying to lose weight by simply keeping food away from my house, which should work right? But the thing is I have been getting late night snacking binges and I eat literally whatever I can find In the last 2 months between 12am and 4am I have eaten >Toothpaste >Handfuls of Salt >Vinegar mixed with vegetable oil >Dry pasta smashed up with some chili powder by hand >Mud from the yard >Grass from the yard >Ants mixed with sugar >A cockroach that I soaked with a small amount of bleach for 20 minutes to try and whiten it so it looked sugar coated >A small pillowcase soaked in rum >Handfuls of sugar >7 year old skittles >Bed cover hairs >bed bug >a dead butterfly I've had to start keeping SOME candy around to avoid toxic food. >>9144609 This is the best thing I've ever read. File: 1493142235725.jpg (2.27 MB, 5000x5000) >>9136888 wot Anonymous 07/09/17(Sun)03:53:19 No.9146732 File: 1470567443830.png (360 KB, 479x487) >>9144609 >A small pillowcase soaked in rum >For some reason I cut off its hand and made soup out of it. Dude. Anonymous 07/08/17(Sat) 10:33:27 No.9143577 >>9136888 put me in the f------ screencap O >>9136888 what in the f---? >>9144609 ? >>9136888 Why in the f--- did your friend have a mold of someone made out of tape? Why What caused you to think that consuming it in a soup would be a good idea?

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Anon takes a good look in the mirror | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Fat as hell >Be ugliest person alive >Incredibly dumb, only 75 IQ >Worst personality, no sense of humor >Ugly sounding voice, every time I talk people always ask me to repeat myself >Smallest d---. It's the same size as the day I was born. It literally never grew >Only 5'5" >Literally no talents or skills, worst at everything I attempt >Get made fun of by everyone What did I do in my past life to deserve this?

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It’s hard out there | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/16/24(Sat)09:30:30 No.73825552 IGHT .....png 1.34 MB PNG >Go to beach. >Take shirt off. >Wow anon you look disgusting. >Lose weight. >Go to beach and take shirt off again. >Wow anon you look disgusting. pf

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Anon, are we being petty? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/24(Wed)20:44:33 No.76698185 ► File: DRC00005722695.jpg (485 KB, 2500x1667) >>76698093 (OP) >I've done nothing with my life Just having that "problem" puts you in the top 30% of humans globally. Half the planet is still trying to make sure they don't starve next month. You worrying about being fulfilled and where you stand on the local social hierarchy is so massively removed from what an average human life is, it's funny. You won a lottery you didn't realize you were playing. While you're lazily typing b------- to a hentai forum there's 800m young men right now fighting in wars or trying to figure out how they're going to not-die in the next thirty days.

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Don't ask anon what Chris did to his daughters | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous AHOLIN THE VIELS 03/16/24(Sat) 09:02:04 No.197288247 >wife is a bossy c--- chirs-watts.png 497 KB PNG >Constantly bitching and pestering him >Guy working out and doing his job >New girl treats him the right way >He gravitates towards her >Get rid of cunty wife >Profit He did nothing wrong and the Netflix documentary is loaded with so much b-------.

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Something something those who don’t learn history | /r/Greentext

Anonymous UNTIL THE GREAT MASS OF THE PEOPLE SHALL BE FILLED WITH THE SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY FOR EACH OTHERS' WELFARE, SOCIAL JUSTICE CAN NEVER BE ATTAINED. Helen Keller, ACLU co-founder 03/16/24(Sat)09:07:17 No.76802368 WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH ACLU images (19).jpg 11 KB JPG what the f--- do normies have against Eugenics? If the nazis really really f------ liked chocolate cake do you think normies would be against THAT too? Anonymous >>76802368 (OP) # 03/16/24(Sat)09:16:18 No.76802408 >what the f--- do normies have against Eugenics? Normalfags of the past used to be against it since it goes against christcuck principles. But there is no excuse today to not implement soft eugenice in some way in today's day and age. Even the chinks are starting to get on this, while the West is STILL babysitting subhumans that have never bothered to travel to an island nearby their home continent until the arrival of Europeans.

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Anon's coworkers are dumb | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: Pov2Cq1f) II >>461856865 # Settings Mobile Home 03/15/24(Fri)20:50:04 No.461857305 >work with a married couple at my job >combined they make about 100k >they live paycheck to paycheck >in debt >in their 30's >plan to name their first kid, boy or girl, f------ Ganondorf >both are potheads, far lefties, and the overweight wife has an onlyfans and streams into the void on twitch, and spend their days playing videogames and going to converts I may be a virgin at 28, but hey it could be worse. Live your life the way you want, but man they do not act like "adults" - not that I'm one to talk however.

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Isn't that just the natural state for anons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 261 KB PNG 03/16/24(Sat) 08:15:27 No.73826512 Anyone else /funkmaxxing/? >Never shower >No deodorant >Rub olive oil in hair >Get up in the morning, immediately rub blocks of numerous stinky cheeses all over my body to get funked up >Eat copious amounts of garlic and onions with every meal >Wear sweatpants and a hoodie in the gym to get extra sweaty and funky >Leave the gym to go roll around in the dumpster then resume lifting >Leave old protein shakes in the hot car for weeks, then douse myself in them before going to the gym >Defecate and urinate solely on myself, NEVER use the bathroom >Intimidate others with my funk, keep them at a ten foot radius out of fear >Women fear the funk Take the funkpill, bros : Anonymous 03/16/24(Sat) 08:28:46 No.73826576 >Anyone else /funkmaxxing/? Yeah, if i see that stinky retard start to work out next to me again, im gonna bash his skull in with a barbell

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