Anon is a Triwizard Tournament Champion | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 42 KB JPG 06/15/21(Tue)09:59:58 No.152340406 > "Help, help! Cedric Diggory has been killed! Yes, Cedric Diggory, my main rival as Hogwarts Champion and object of Cho Chang's affection, has been killed in the maze! Voldemort did it! He's been dead for thirteen years, but he's back, and he killed Cedric! Don't ask how, no one ask how! There were no witnesses, please do not look for any! The other two Champions in the maze were cursed with Imperio! Don't bother fetching your Veritaserum, professor Snape, I believe it's all been stolen. I am so upset right now! Has anyone seen Cho? When do I get the prize money?"

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's goal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 457 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)22:32:50 No.76739523 >if you work hard and self- improove you can get what chad already chewed and spat out What an enticing goal. I'm so hyped right now. 03/10/24(Sun) 22:33:48 No.76739532 >>76739523 (OP) # Leave your s----- country with that s----- culture, abroad females are not as promiscous as your s----- femoids. : Anonymous Anonymous 03/09/24 (Sat) 19:40:00 No.76730642 03/10/24(Sun)22:37:16 No.76739555 >>76730664 >>76730677 >>76730925 1697476874597773.png (811 KB, 1000x1534) google yandex iqdb wait >>76730610 (OP) I'll just leave this here If you marry a woman that isn't a virgin, the mother of your children has had another man's d--- inside of her. Your children will be born from a vagina that another man f----- and coomed inside of. There's a high chance that the lips that you passionately kiss on your wedding day have been covered in another man's c--. There's a reasonable chance that another man's hairy balls have been in your wife's mouth. There's a nonzero chance that her cute little tongue has been inside another man's a------. The cheeks that you lovingly kiss in the morning before you go to work have more likely than not been smothered by another man's shaft. Every time you make love, there will a comparison to one lover or another, whether consciously or otherwise. Every time you hold her tenderly in your arms and feel her soft skin against yours, and she tells you how much she loves you, you'll remember that you aren't the first man she's experienced this sensation with or said such intimate words to. The man or men who experienced her before you probably j------- to the memories of how they f----- your wife every now and then. They may even be invited to your wedding and smile smugly from their seat as they watch you swear eternal loyalty and love to used goods they got for free and in better condition. From time to time, you'll find yourself ruminating about her past, plagued by anxiety and lacking peace of mind. My brothers, I would hope to save you from such humiliation and suffering. Don't do this to yourselves, suffer not a w---- and reject the roasties. Unless you're just trying to get your d--- wet and have fun, then whatever I guess Screenshot 2024-03-10 at 17-05-07 (2) _r9k_ - Archived - Potential gf has a bodycount - ROBOT9001 - 4chan.png 435 KB PNG How the f--- am I supposed to desire modern women after reading this post

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Sperg anon works out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 100 KB JPG 02/18/24(Sun)23:05:58 No.76510028 >Be me, kissless beta f-- >Don't talk to girls cause fear rejection. >Decide one day to lift-max and gain chad physique. >Start running, push-up, sit-ups >stop eating sugar & goy slop >Never go to gym cause sperg >soon reg push-ups aren't enough. Have to start doing inclined push-ups. H-------- its working.mp4 >Eventually guys start noticing my gains. Ask if I want be gym buddies. >Decline cause sperg >After more than a year of hard work, I have chad body. >Still to scared to talk to girls Its so over bros. Might as well rope-max

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Anon writes a Harry Potter fanfic. | /r/Greentext

File: 1263067621.jpg-(33 KB, 332x500, Harry.jpg) Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat)15:07:01 No. 187447266 One day, Harry was making learnings from his Schoolbook. "Many learnings from Book School!" say Harry, turn the page. But suddely, Harry had learned too much from the book and made forgettings of his magics!!! "Oh no!" say Harry, "Of my magics to forgetten?!?!?!" The magics made refusal to remember! Ron and Hermione made que...stionings of Harry and the lost magics. Brom made a laughing from the window. Harry made a sitting in magic lesson, unable to perform the magics! Anonymous 01/09/10(Sat) 15:07:20 No. 187447327 "I am tired of your not magics!" say Wand. "SNAP!" shout Wand, and Wand snapped itself, because it did no want to be with a not magic! "Oh no!!!!" shout Harry, "NOT A SNAPPING WAND!" But a Snapping Wand. Harry tried to danube the wand into itself, BUT NOT OF WORKINGS! The Teacher made a shoutings at Harry. "HARRY!" shout the ...lesson, "YOU HAVE SNAPPED AT WAND AND THAT IS A CRIME!" The Police danubed through the walls and banged their sticks at Harry. "YOU HAVE DESTORY WAND! YOU HAVE DESTORY WAND!!!!!" shout Police, "WE SHALL SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!!" And so Professor McGongle made into the rom. "Ah," say McGongle, "You are one to destroying Wands?!" And so McGongle turned Harry into a Wand. "Oh no!" say a Harry Wand, "I am Wand now?!?!" "Yes," say McGongle, "You are Wand." And McGongle snapped Wand.

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Anon's life will be enhanced by AI | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: n4tMdx92) 21 KB JPG 03/10/24(Sun)12:39:30 No.461283526 >the year is 2030 >entire workforce is automated Al robotics and systems working flawlessly >Abundance in all things, food, energy, personal health - thanks to ΑΙ >universal basic income >self flying cars >next generation videogames, indistinguishable from real life >legal weed life is gonna get good just hold on bros. Al is unironically going to fix everything Anonymous (ID: fUeeVQjR) >>461283526 (OP) # 03/10/24(Sun) 13:14:38 No.461285512 Imagine being so retarded you're not even skeptical of this supposed utopian future. Al is a pile of s--- and isn't going to take anyone's jobs, I bet you've been c------ your pants over apple provision, hows that going f-----?

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Anon's Struggle | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/10/24(Sun)12:01:02 No.76739001 reddit 20 KB PNG >Post asks the community for their personal opinion on something. >Reply with my personal opinion. >Get downvoted into oblivion. >Negative Karma so cannot post anything to bounce back. F--- this website.

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I wasn't role playing | /r/Greentext

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Why are they like this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 29 KB PNG 03/10/24(Sun)18:19:43 No.194688340 >speaks english fluently >watches american movies >listens to american music >knows everything about american politics, lifestyle, architecture and cuisine >"let me tell you how much i hate america!!" Why are they like this?

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Anon shouldn’t be talking to women | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 132 KB PNG 03/10/24(Sun)02:08:12 No.76733746 >talk to girl >we share same hobbies >asks for my number >randomly texts me if I want to do said hobbies together Is this how normies get girlfriends? How do I get her to send me pictures of her vagina and t--- throughout my day? What are the steps to go from random texting to me plowing her juicy hole in the back of my car? View Thread

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Anon flashes his balls | /r/Greentext

File: images-2024-03-09T224557.996.jpg (30 KB, 510x601) gettyimages Crawle Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)14:51:41 No.76734154 [Reply] ► >be me >pervert >wandering at night >find a cutie walking by >she actually checks them >expose myself and say "Hey cutie check my baaaaalls" >claims to be a registered nurse >she says the condition of my d--- & balls is critical, that I have a fungal inflammation >I thank her for the exam >she says I am not grasping the full gravity of the situation, I actually only have a few hours to live >she asks me how would I want to pass the last hours of my life >I ponder a bit before muttering: "A b------, please?" >she says she has a throat inflammation that would only cause me pain given the scars on my member, but she has a slutty friend who can provide me that >her car is not far away >she drives me to her friends apartment >her friend claims she cant blow me because she got back with Derek >the nurse says that Derek has nothing to do with her and that if it were for her to settle down with someone it should be with Mark because he treats her better, and besides, she could make an exception for a dying man since she is a huge slut >they discuss >the front door neighbor gets curious about all the noise, she is an old lady of small stature >she blows me >the end

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Anon needs professional help | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 03/04/21(Thu)22:57:18 No.147536930 >>147534385 (OP) # >work at a covid testing site >walk up to cars with cute girls in them >'yeah just spit into this cup and we'll test it for ya' >pour all the spit cups into an empty Gatorade bottle I carry >do this for 8 hours >go home >use the spit as lube for my fleshlight >pour some it all over my face and shove it up my nostrils >drink the rest of it timed as I orgasm

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It's a Plane... It's a Concord... It's a EL/M-2075 Phalcon! | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Jewperman ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/09/24(Sat) 12:55:23 No.76729733 475 KB PNG >Be Jewish superman. >Working in news media (no s---) >Hear news of local bank robbery. >Dress up and fly towards the bank. >Feel sick from the ride. >Projectile vomit on the bank robbers like a firehose. >Day not saved yet. >Use my Super Circumcision Vision to mark them as my bitch. >Take bags of money that they dropped. >Fly away with them as charitable donation. >Day saved.

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Anon doesn't understand the Krillchad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/24(Sat)20:05:37 No. 197071593 1709951078922.png 1.38 MB PNG >bald >manlet >poor >loser >still gets the 10/10 hot gigastacy How the f--- does this happen?

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