Anon shouldn’t be talking to women | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 132 KB PNG 03/10/24(Sun)02:08:12 No.76733746 >talk to girl >we share same hobbies >asks for my number >randomly texts me if I want to do said hobbies together Is this how normies get girlfriends? How do I get her to send me pictures of her vagina and t--- throughout my day? What are the steps to go from random texting to me plowing her juicy hole in the back of my car? View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon flashes his balls | /r/Greentext

File: images-2024-03-09T224557.996.jpg (30 KB, 510x601) gettyimages Crawle Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)14:51:41 No.76734154 [Reply] ► >be me >pervert >wandering at night >find a cutie walking by >she actually checks them >expose myself and say "Hey cutie check my baaaaalls" >claims to be a registered nurse >she says the condition of my d--- & balls is critical, that I have a fungal inflammation >I thank her for the exam >she says I am not grasping the full gravity of the situation, I actually only have a few hours to live >she asks me how would I want to pass the last hours of my life >I ponder a bit before muttering: "A b------, please?" >she says she has a throat inflammation that would only cause me pain given the scars on my member, but she has a slutty friend who can provide me that >her car is not far away >she drives me to her friends apartment >her friend claims she cant blow me because she got back with Derek >the nurse says that Derek has nothing to do with her and that if it were for her to settle down with someone it should be with Mark because he treats her better, and besides, she could make an exception for a dying man since she is a huge slut >they discuss >the front door neighbor gets curious about all the noise, she is an old lady of small stature >she blows me >the end

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Anon needs professional help | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 03/04/21(Thu)22:57:18 No.147536930 >>147534385 (OP) # >work at a covid testing site >walk up to cars with cute girls in them >'yeah just spit into this cup and we'll test it for ya' >pour all the spit cups into an empty Gatorade bottle I carry >do this for 8 hours >go home >use the spit as lube for my fleshlight >pour some it all over my face and shove it up my nostrils >drink the rest of it timed as I orgasm

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It's a Plane... It's a Concord... It's a EL/M-2075 Phalcon! | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Jewperman ▼Settings Mobile Home 03/09/24(Sat) 12:55:23 No.76729733 475 KB PNG >Be Jewish superman. >Working in news media (no s---) >Hear news of local bank robbery. >Dress up and fly towards the bank. >Feel sick from the ride. >Projectile vomit on the bank robbers like a firehose. >Day not saved yet. >Use my Super Circumcision Vision to mark them as my bitch. >Take bags of money that they dropped. >Fly away with them as charitable donation. >Day saved.

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Anon doesn't understand the Krillchad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/24(Sat)20:05:37 No. 197071593 1709951078922.png 1.38 MB PNG >bald >manlet >poor >loser >still gets the 10/10 hot gigastacy How the f--- does this happen?

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Double Strength | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/04/24(Sun)17:53:43 No.76348895 >be me >Woman image.jpg 5 KB JPG >me like male >me have crush on a male >male approach >hes cute >male starts showing interest and affection >instant lose of interest *in a soulless and monotone voice tone* I wish that guy treated me like s--- and showed me a little bit of attention in return. So my primitive little brain's reward mechanism could get addicted to him and his attention.

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Anon describes women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 342 KB JPG 03/08/24(Fri)20:30:44 No.30866658 >gf breaks up with me >sad >fast forward a few months >check out her social media (stupid me, I know) >lots of posts about how much she misses her "ex" (me) >text her to see whats up >she acts all passive aggressive >tells me I'm bothering her and to stop texting her Can someone explain to me why she does this?

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It was all just a Bad dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 668 KB JPG 03/10/24(Sun)04:36:36 No.915130813 >Year 2060 >Me: *Scavenging for a crumb of p---- in the ruins of the lost city of Atlanta* >Gen LXIX Raiders: "Nice red dot on that AR-15 Grandpa. What does that thing shoot? Wojack memes and political rants about the God Emperor Immortan Joe Brandon?" >Proceeds to vaporize me into a fine ash with a tubberware AR-9000 plasma rifle equipped with iPad sights and Al target detector. >mfw Anonymous 03/10/24(Sun)04:38:44 No.915130876 >>915130813 (OP) # >They run out of battery They all commit suicide due to lack of tiktok 196 KB PNG Anonymous 135 KB PNG 03/10/24(Sun)04:55:03 No.915131451 >>915130813 (OP) # >Be me >1975 >Go on rescue mission to save staff members >RTB >MSF is on fire and under attack >mfw

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Suffering builds character i guess | /r/Greentext

Anonymous suffering builds. character "suffering builds character "suffering builds character 95 KB JPG puberty suffering builds character 03/10/24(Sun)01:53:06 No.76733591 >ended up being a romantic as a kid and really wanted a wife okay I can do that doesn't everybody? >I noticed most of the friend girls I made or had a crush on only liked guys who were taller than me >didn't end up at least 6 feet after haha okay at least I'm not statistically short just average >family moved so I had to restart my relationships just gotta be myself! >bad parents and wasn't taught how to drive in my youth in a country where you need to be able to drive to go anywhere significant I'll just focus on what I can control haha >went bald at 17 + big 4head + baby-face w-well it's not over >can't grow significant facial hair I'll just start trying to exercise to keep my health and mental up >born Asian (Chinese) in America maybe my personality wi- >autistic okay yeah I give up anyone else had crappy high school and college experiences because of stuff like this? View Thread

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Desert flex | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/24(Fri)20:26:54 No.194641989 bhOklels9wjb1.jpg 1021 KB JPG >build a suburbs in the middle of the desert >each home has access to A/C, clean drinking water and running sewage Name a bigger mog and flex than this photo.

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Life was never fair anon | /r/Greentext

107 KB JPG >be human >have to get a job >have to eat vegetables >be green spoon worm >vored by a larger female >do nothing but coom for your whole life life isn't fair

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Anon tried Polish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Polish 08/14/23(Mon) 10:10:26 No.74378 Yes I'm Polish, how could you tell? HELLO Szczyjkjchzy Wojwekszcsj 63225d5ba295e.jpg 58 KB JPG > be me > decide to try polish on duolingo > first words they try to teach me are: > mezczyzna > dziewczyna > ciasteczka > konstantynopolitanczykowianeczka > brzeczyszczykiewicz I don't want to learn Polish anymore. :/

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Anon on runescape | /r/Greentext

5 KB JPG I went around on Runescape back in 2006 in full black armour typing "..." in red. I thought it made me mysterious.

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