Anon causes a weeb war | /r/Greentext
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![Anonymous 03/07/24(Thu)20:37:15 No.915017322 [Reply] Once, a group of devil worshipers attempted to recruit Jon Arbuckle. This was back in the 1990s. A group of three black robed Satanists came to his home, and bowed solemnly, congratulating him on his insurmountably large number of sins. He seemed amenable to the idea of joining them, but inside, he was plotting their demise. Realizing the devil worshipers had never even met Satan dismayed Jon badly. He sees the devil every night and masturbates with him, Clearly, the dark lord had brought them there to punish them for their cowardice. That night, Jon arrived at the graveyard where the three men stood, and told them he thought they were weak, pathetic, and should bow before him as the devils emissary. They were angered and drew blades on him. But Jon is a Vietnam vet, and a psychopath. First, he pulled out a length of intestine harvested from a roadkilled elk, and wrapped it around the first posers neck, tying it off as he kicked him in the back, paralyzing him in one f------ move. The second man raised his knife but Jon was given clemency by the US military for his devastation of the Guk population, raised up a suppressed pistol, and blew the mans' hand off, then grabbed his other hand and ragdolled him into a gravestone, smashing his skull. Jon was enthralled, told the third man his soul was hollow, he didn't care whether he lived or died, then proceeded to not even bother disarming him, bending down, crouched behind the dead mans ruined skull, licking the brain fluid, and staring with pure hate and insanity at the third man, who fled, only to be caught in the bear trap Jon had secretly placed on the other side of the graveyard. The last thing that poor man saw was Jon approaching with the defleshed leg bone of the first man, ready to pound his skull in. The authorities had to quickly clean the scene, determining the crime to be related to gang activity, continuing to give Jon his stipend and free animals to r---.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/770/709/f70.png "not a greentext but found it funny | /r/Greentext")
