Anon cracks the code | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

hannah @hanalyzed The dating pool for young women is literally - P--- addicts > - "Sensitive" guys you have to perform constant emotional labour for - Narcissistic (if not sociopathic) gym bros - Emotionally distant manipulators - Performative "woke" men who still treat women like s--- Anonymous 07/22/20(Wed) 23:38:22 No.96910896 So basically > Guys who post 4chan > Guys who post on reddit > Guys who post on instagram > Guys who post on linkedin > Guys who post on twitter

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Major skill issues | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous W Wikipedia 03/03/24(Sun)20:06:22 No.196856447 https://en.m.wikipedia.org › wiki Lists of Jews D435BB15-B570-49E9-81 EF-4D6C2CC8EF10.jpg 26 KB JPG >have magic book that lets you kill anyone whenever you want >still lose

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Just stop after the second line | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iNw1chPo 50 56 KB JPG 03/03/24(Sun)04:12:35 No.19714748 >be me >straight >very skinny, pale Asian boy 5'5 with messy hair and baby face >go to the restaurant >accidently delivered food to the wrong table from my phone >go to that table to take my food >there was this guy sitting and was already eating my food >i'm literally nothing compared to him >he was white, tall 6'5, well-built body, strong jawline, nice hairstyle, blue eyes, well-dressed (he looks like some model or actor) >he smells damn good >after eating all my food, he stood up and said with very deep hot, masculine voice in English "Thanks for the food, you're a good boy." >gave me a headpat and left >my heart beat harder, face got blushed What the hell was that? I never felt like a submissive girl in my entire life. Is this not gay to simp for chads?

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All The Small Things | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home 03/03/24(Sun)19:28:41 No.76667907 2010: >music didnt use to be n------ saying incoherent sentences >online prositution wasnt even a thing >p--- about i----- and interracial cuckolding was very very niche >normal people past 22 were not die hard fans of dumb cultural products >people didnt have acess to the internet 24/7 in 37 KB JPG their pockets >things didnt use to be all about gays, trans, blacks and women >gays couldnt even marry >if you said men can be women and women can be men, people would laugh at you >nerd culture was a gathering of weirdos and misfits that were deeply invested in their stuff, not an aesthetic >normies didnt really use the internet except for basic stuff, the internet was actually still a vibrant ecosystem of different sites >most people didnt take a hundred pic of themselves per year, only if they traveled, and they didnt post them anywhere, in short, they didnt produce content >online dating was a small thing, and even so, less focused on pictures to swipe. Most people met face to face

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Driving Under Political Influence | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.42 MB PNG 03/03/24(Sun)19:45:35 No.914835826 >"That bumper sticker I saw on the back of a s----- old car really changed my mind" - Nobody

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anon is on antidepressants | /r/Greentext

File: chrome_kjeeNiAebz.png (465 KB, 620x731) Caos ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE Anonymous 03/03/24(Sun)17:04:26 No.76666230 [Repl >costs obscene amounts of money >prescribed by pseudo-scientists worldwide >efficacy either identical to placebo >or 1% over in select "research" >research nobody can seem to reproduce >be anti-depressants pic unrelated

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Anon harkens back to a simpler time in the world of vidya | /r/Greentext

XBOX720 Remember this b-------? Anonymous 03/03/24 (Sun)15:55:51 No.914826387 >Be me, 2012-13 >Hearing all the hype about PS4 and Xbox 720 >Seeing all these cool mockups online >Don't care how impractical a lot of them are, still cool anyway >Both consoles are finally announced >PS4 and... HOL UP, XBOX ONE??? >Ugly boring designs, impressive but same-y specs between both consoles >mfw people are killing each other in line to get these at launch >What the f--- is the appeal here? This is why I rarely look into consoles past the 7th generation (PS3, 360, Wii, etc.)

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Anon's first job | /r/Greentext

M 30 .png (194 kB, 631x595) No.46491256 Anonymous 13 min. ago >fired on first week of McDonalds because boomer father threw out my uniform and made me wear neat suit "Dress up for the job you want not the job you have" F--- YOU F--- YOU F--- YOU

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Anons make fun of 9/11 victims. | /r/Greentext

JUMPER CARD Michal Romiman, 52 HEGANFODAY ON FLOOR JUMPER CARD Kevin Trolinger 27 BEGAN FUGHT ON FLOORS: JUMPER CARD JUMPER Jamal qikens: 44 HAN FLIGHT ON FLOOR 97 CARD HAST SEMER Brian Schummiener: 28 BEGAN FLIGHT ON FLOOR 70 1104696758.jpg-(32269 B, 706x609, 2towers.jpg) CAME JUMPER CARD >>kapsi PENisb7itw 01/02/05(Sun)05:18 No.491412 I like Angie's technique. I give it 8.7 JUMPER CARD >> FoodNippl3 IRNkc.uawRQ 01/02/05(Sun)05:19 No.491418 - FIRST SERIES Rupert Peabody, 39 BEGAN FLIGHT ON FLOOR 10 Truth !N4BbpS1X7Q 01/02/05 (Sun)05:12 No.491379 >> Anonymous 01/02/05(Sun)05:13 No.491385 >>491379 lol@retarded anti-human irony hahahahahah >>JoeBarborak !zT8CLv1HqE 01/02/05(Sun)05:14 No.491388 Ang Cooper 25 BEDAN FLIGHT ON FLOOR BE Brian Sheumacher will have fun hitting the ground with his enormous melon!!! I think Kevin was trying to jacknife or something. It looks good from here.

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Anon burns those who dared to care for him | /r/Greentext

File: big fatningen.jpg (105 KB, 379x424) Anonymous 03/03/24(Sun)17:46:35 No.7665998070000070 >>70001050 >uses phone >tried to post some funny reaction image on the internet >Tfw my image folder was bloated with irl s--- I don't care about >ugly photos from relatives I don't give a s--- about doing things I don't give a s--- about with the most vile faces I've ever seen in my lineage >uglier photos of my acquaintances doing random s---, sometimes with their equally vomit inducing relatives because apparently I am supposed to treat my pig of a boss as a friend now >unfunny 'memes' and photos my old highschool buddies sent in the go which I was too nice to leave >content farm news images my boomer parents spammed on WhatsApp >poorly taken photos of me in social events I've been to as retards think I give a s--- about friend wedding no.193782 >tfw these fuckwits whom I couldn't care less post these b------- photos en masse 24/7, occupying a good chunk of my storage space and drowning out the actual reaction images I care about >tfw I have to either spend 30 minutes to find my images or 50 to delete the photos just to be met with 30x more the next day that's it, I am getting a work phone for these monkeys.

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Anon finds out that life ain't fair | /r/Greentext

03/03/24(Sun)07:27:11 No.19716361 When posting on an online forum like 4chan, it's crucial to maintain a respectful tone, even when the culture of the site might be more lenient and raw in its form of expression. Remember that derogatory remarks about any group, including "boomers" or the "greatest generation," can quickly derail the conversation into disrespectful territory. It's better to focus on the structural issues and the humor seen in the contrasts of life rather than direct blame. : Anonymous 490 KB JPG Here's an example of how to frame your post while attempting to keep it measured and without directly insulting groups of people: Title: So this is the modern "American Dream," huh? Body: >be me >working the grind at a construction job >stuck at the parents' cause the cash just doesn't cut it >they're on my back wondering why I haven't hit life milestones like they did >meanwhile, there's this YouTuber raking in 400k for piano covers... in a bikini >I'm busting my hump and can't afford to not be a virgin >the old school worked hard, got rewarded >now seems like you just gotta trend online and you're set for life >this economy's a circus, and we're just a part of the act >can't help but feel like the world's one giant troll face aimed at us >laughing? raging? don't even know anymore >just stuck here, manning the jackhammer while the crowd goes wild for bikini Beethoven >quit job moved back in with parents into my old childhood room >haven't left the room in four months and never will until a read happening happens >anyone else feel like the joke's on us? : Anonymous >>19716361 (OP) # HARD A--- >>19716366 # 03/03/24(Sun)07:34:37 No.19716362

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Anon meets the wolfman | /r/Greentext

File: furries.jpg (405 KB, 1296x968) >Especially after Columbine >All that was going to change soon >Friday he was totally fine >That Monday >And this was his fall from grace and into autism >Greg at this point was quiet, and reserved, never did anything to get bullied >Apparently Greg's parents had bought him a computer, and an Internet connection >Oh, how two days can change a man >He obviously hadn't showered at all since friday >He didn't really pay attention during class and was mostly drawing in his notebook >His smell was palpable >The bell finally rang >Greg collected his things and headed for the door >Not before he bumped into a guy named Mike >Mike was not pleased with Greg's odor > Jesus Greg, you f------ reek." >Greg stood silent for a moment >And then he did it >He f------ growled at Mike >Mike just pushed Greg out of the way and made his way into the hallway and walked to his next class >The rest of the kids gave Greg a strange room for the rest of the day Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)07:26:44 No.631158773 ► >>631160061 >>631160215 >>631165562 >>631165642 >>631165921 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167542 >>631167974 File: 1437110427545.jpg (418 KB, 1955x2048) >She asked for homework to be passed up front >Everyone had theirs in >"Greg? Where's your homework?" >Silence >"Greg?" >She approached his desk >The room was strangely tense, before this Greg was a good student >She was standing at Greg's desk >"Greg?" >She reached out for a piece of paper she assumed was his homework >And then he snapped at her >Not like screaming or yelling, but he tried to bite her >You could actually hear the clack of his teeth >The teacher gasped >Greg just got up and Naruto ran out of the room >No one had seen such a thing before and we were really taken aback by him trying to bite the teacher, but the way he ran >The teacher called security >No one saw Greg for the rest of the day until one of the Stoner kids reported seeing Greg in after school detention >Apparently he got on a table, curled up into a ball and tried to nap >The Indian man in charge didn't care enough to bother him Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:35:48 No.631160463 ► >>631160790 >>631161301 >>631165562 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 File: 1432672843827.jpg (1.79 MB, 5000x5000) >And licked her cheek >And the bug guts too >The whole class went dead silent >Tuesday >Apparently Greg didn't do his homework the night before >Instead he bought a gray hoodie, and some cloth >And sewed some years to the hood >At least he showered this time >Thankfully SCARED >The teacher was this really nice vegan lady from Oregon >She was a little pushy with homework but that was it really >Hood up >S----- cloth ears flopping >She looked at him puzzled > "Is there something you want to tell me Greg?" >She was probably hoping for an apology >Greg grabbed her face >He had folded notebook paper in his hand >Pulled her close to his >Greg then tucked the paper into her breast pocket and sat back down >The teacher, as a testament to her character, pretended that never happened >The class went on as normal >She looked shaky and on the verge of tears the entire time while we were talking about the Boxer Rebellion >When the bell rang again, Greg bolted full Naruto style out of the room >His hoodie came loose and fell off >Revealing a really s----- attempt at anime hair >I didn't see him again for the rest of the day >>After school as I was walking home I saw our US History teacher talking to the school cop >With her equally vegan and upset boyfriend there too >We didn't see Greg for two weeks after that. Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:47:48 No.631162869>>631163694 >>631164020 >>631164078 >>631184239 >>631165562 >>631168956 >>631167039 >>631167974 >>63116970- File: Scared.jpg (67 KB, 656x584) Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)07:18:07 No.631156939>>631157670 >>631165562 >>631166037 >>631166579 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 Alright boys, sit down for a tale of the most Autistic kid I have ever had the displeasure of running into. Wolfman Greg. >By this time we were on World War 1 >Be me >Be 16, around 2000 >Wednesday >Greg apparently wanted to make it up to the teacher >Unfortunately she was a little late because her Ford broke down >One of the football players brought her to campus on his motorcycle >She had what was left of a bug on her cheek that she missed >She walked into class ten minutes after class started > "Greg!" >The digging intensified >"Greg, stop it!" >Still nothing >Wasn't an outcast but wasn't a popular kid either >Kinda did my own thing really >Shared World History with this kid >His name was Greg >She apologized for her being late >Greg walked up to her >Everyone turned back to our teacher >And then the digging got more ferocious >Their faces when >Greg turned around >Dropped his pants >And started to poo >Oh God the stench >The teacher decided to hold class outdoors for once to demonstrate some things >As soon as we got outside, everyone put themselves up wind of Greg >The teacher would live to regret having class outside >Everything was going fine, we were discussing the Battle of Somme in the gentle Arizona winter >"Greg, what are you doing?" >Thursday, two weeks after the incident >Greg was back >If you think he was bad after a weekend of early 2000s internet, Greg has been exposed for a full two weeks >He clearly hadn't showered, at all >He looked like he slept, ate and shat in the gray eared hoodie >He reeked >All eyes shot to Greg to see what horror we were about to witness >Greg was digging with one hand in the soft soil >He didn't answer >He also added a very poorly made tail to the back >*Greg, please stop digging, the grounds keepers worked really hard to grow that grass!" >No answer, he kept digging >Mike stood up and started walking towards Greg to stop him >By this time Greg had a foot deep hole about square foot wide >Everyone stopped >Sniffed it >And then buried it >The 9/10 goth girl fainted >Greg got sent to the office >And was sent home for the day >This is probably the first s--- he had in two weeks >Everyone flipped and got as far away from him as possible >Greg managed to fill the entire hole up >He then lifted his pants Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:55:32 No.631164486 >>631164732 >>631164845 >>631164983: >>631166575 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167740 >>631167974 File: XaviOda.jpg (19 KB, 320x240) >A crunch >And not the normal granola kind >Like the wet, gross kind >The poor teacher marked him absent >Half way through the treaty of Versailles guess who showed up >F------ Greg >And the horror >We didn't see it at first, or for the next ten minutes >And then we heard it TFW NO BELIEVE >The kind that something biting into a bone would make >The girl in front of Greg turned around >She flipped her s--- >"Greg what the f---!" >Greg had a bird >A half eaten bird >He was late because of this >I was marginally impressed because he managed to catch a bird, kill it, and partially eat it I also wanted to throw up >Greg attempted to jump over a desk >He failed and landed face first on the tile >Friday >Greg was tolerable that day, nothing happened >The following Monday >Greg was late to class >Like really late >The teacher approached him and attempted to rescue the poor avian creature from this ki >Greg wasn't having it >He actually landed a bite on her >A bad one >Mike had enough of this s--- >Before he could react though Greg through his meal at him >The distraction worked >Luckily he had enough time to get up, spit out some blood and Naruto run out of the room >Somehow, he wasn't expelled for this >Our teacher missed two weeks of school because of an infection though. Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)08:06:19 No.631166557 >>631166912 >>631166935 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167068 >>631168055 >>631168060 >>631168071 >>631168096 >>631168119 >>631168348 >>631169028 File: 1437626420912.jpg (298 KB, 1024x768) >So we only had our first class that day >For eight hours >We broke for lunch, nothing weird happened with Greg, yet. >When we got back though, s--- started happening >Slowly >Everyone had the post lunch sleepies >Half the class was napping at their terminals >The others were either working or goofing off >I was helping the 9/10 goth girl work on her Horror novel >Wasn't too bad except for some grammar errors >And we were flirting >S--- was cash >The substitute fell asleep at some point, leaving Greg free to do as he pleased >And he was really pleasing himself >I happened to glance up and catch it >Poorly drawn, early 2000s furry p--- >Greg was jacking it pretty hard >About a week into our poor teacher's absence >The substitute put us in the computer lab to research some s--- >She sat right behind Greg >He must have just started because no one seems to have noticed yet >"Hey, Anon. What are you staring a- OH MY GOD." >The goth girl freaked out >This in turn drew attention to Greg >Who happened to start climaxing >The next five seconds was beautiful >He snuck up behind her >Oh God >Thanks to her fatness and her odor, she was immune to Greg's smell barrier >Our schedule was f----- that day >They were having a assembly for 8th graders that would be attending next year >The screaming woke up the Sub >Greg panicked mid c-- >Instead of turning off the computer he pushed the monitor off the desk >He ended up getting c-- everywhere >After this incident he was handed to the tard wranglers >He was transferred out of regular classes >But this was not the end of Wolfman Greg Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed) 08:19:31 No.631168892 >>631169088 >>631169186 >>631189229 >>631169280 >>631169316 >>631169328 >>631109391 >>631169435 >>631169472 >>631169494 >>631169620 >>631169894 >>631169698 >>631169825 >>631165 File: 1431545810401.gif (1.5 MB, 250x213) >I was horrified > watch him sprint out, howling That Fech >Then I see it >Is that? >No f------ way >H-------- >We went a month without Greg shenanigans >Everything was peaceful >leven managed to sleep with the goth girl a couple of times outside of class >Greg was even allowed to join us occasionally >He was heavily guarded by a wrangler though >He didn't speak much, but we nicknamed him "8 Ball" >8 Ball didn't take Greg's s---, except for letting him growl or whine once in a while >Near the end of Junior year we thought we had heard the last of Wolfman Greg >Nope >Lunch time >I was sitting with the Goth Girl, Marian and her gaggle of dark brooding sisters >Had a good view of the courtyard where the other tables were at >We were talking about Poe when it happened >The doors to the tard building burst open >And there was Greg >He pinned her to the table >And pretended to mount her >Dinner >Decide >8 Ball no where to be seen >No one really cared or noticed the horror about to happen >Greg wondered around for a bit before singling out prey >This poor shy girl named Marissa >This went on for what felt like forever >Eventually he came up Marissa's back. >It's f------ Greg >On a vintage Vespa >He had his d--- out and was rubbing it on the back of her sweater >Howling like a wolf the whole time >Everyone went ape s--- and scattered >This had to be the final straw >Marissa dropped out >8 Ball lost his job >That was the end of Wolfman Greg for high school 1/2 >8 Ball finally showed up after getting Arby's >Greg was expelled after this and labeled a sex offender I have ONE more, this happened six months ago. Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)08:31:26 No.631171137 >>631171221 >>631171284 File: LTXeu.jpg (127 KB, 800x853) To clarify, I meant Greg was allowed to join our class. Not join me in hitting that sweet pale ass in the back, and on the hood of my old CRX. I can drop that green text if anyone's interested >Six months ago >It's been fifteen years since seeing Greg >He had left my mind entirely >Driving through my old town to visit my folks >I am in f------ aw that he's got a sweet scooter and I'm on a second had liter bike >Nearly rear end a taxi >He pulls up next to me >Thankfully he doesn't recognize me >I can f------ smell him through my helmet >Step outside >See that f------ Vespa in the neighbor's drive way >>is that? >No >I nearly puke >Manage to distance myself from him and get to my parents place is fine, mom's doing great, blah blah to meet up with some old friends for a ride >Ignore it and go cruise >Come home a few hours later >Vespa still there >Please no >Greg lives next door to my folks now >After talking to now 3/10 goth girl on Facebook >Greg's folks died and he inherited a large chunk of change >Bought the house next to my parents >is a complete neet. >My boner is ruined >It's loud too >Greg's f------ howling keeps me up until 3am. >I finally fell asleep >Wake up the next morning. >Go through the >That night Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:38:56 No.631172339 >>631172480 >>631172516 >>631172532 >>631172534 >>631172535 >>631172548 File: 1427957849766.png (97 KB, 460x470) >>631171137 >He doesn't do anything but browse the Internet probably and do Wolfman things >Try to not let this crush my soul and crawl into my old bunk bed to sleep for the night >As I'm drifting off to the though of making the Goth Girl of yesteryear swallow my c-- and calling me her owner I hear it >It's f------ howling >God dammit Greg >It's quiet now >Fall asleep and leave the next morning day with my folks a shell of my former self >It happens again >The terror is replaced with rage no >Open my window >This is it >"Greg! It's 11 o'clock at night! I have to go home tomorrow and I need sleep! SHUT THE F--- UP" >Slam window was dead >l inadvertently got him to kill himself >I don't know anything else >A few months later mom calls me >The cops entered Greg's home due to a smell complaint >They found Greg >Greg

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Anon and cute gril | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Love story The Offigial Rice Purity Test Sarcom 75 KB PNG 03/03/24(Sun)21:06:12 No.914809729 >be me >2 days ago >public transport 12pm, bus is FULL and im with friends >cute girl stands next to me, think nothing of it >talking with friend, start talking about cards against humanity >i say its boring >cute girl overhears >"It's not boring." >"...huh?" >"It's not boring. at all." >"...huh....okay.." >get home >literally cannot stop thinking about her >dream and ache for her Whats happening, bros? I've had 3 girlfriends before and sex, but NOTHING has ever hit me like this. The way she looked, at me, it did something. My heart is hers. Is there hope?

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