: Anonymous Love story The Offigial Rice Purity Test Sarcom 75 KB PNG 03/03/24(Sun)21:06:12 No.914809729 >be me >2 days ago >public transport 12pm, bus is FULL and im with friends >cute girl stands next to me, think nothing of it >talking with friend, start talking about cards against humanity >i say its boring >cute girl overhears >"It's not boring." >"...huh?" >"It's not boring. at all." >"...huh....okay.." >get home >literally cannot stop thinking about her >dream and ache for her Whats happening, bros? I've had 3 girlfriends before and sex, but NOTHING has ever hit me like this. The way she looked, at me, it did something. My heart is hers. Is there hope?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon works in a hospital | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hospital anons 03/03/24(Sun)07:50:57 No.76655876 24 KB JPG Any anons work in a hospital? > Be me hospital cleaner infection control delivery boy > Clean up s--- deliver food make coffee > Dementia patients cry for rescue and sweet release when I walk in > Do 360 and gtfo out every time > "Would you like a coffee sir?" "Well it all goes back to 1963 when I was at th" > Stop listening immediately > Spend half the day smoking checking out nurses and making tradesman bux > Guy in next bed dies >Seen a dozen stiffs by this point don't care >Heartless.png > Human suffering has become meaningless > Literally.me > Half the staff are Karens and the other half are based mainland Europeans who don't give a s--- > Coworkers are afraid of cleaning the morgue but I'm one with the corpses >Soundproof ward peaceful af > Have to clean the chapel toilets they're locked? > It's Mohammed the islam enjoyer again he is cleaning his feet for the tenth prayer of the day and getting paid for it (big brained) > Takes 20 mins whatever getting paid to stand there > Take out medical waste and serve coffee to neanderthals > Finish and go home make 200 quid for the day > At dingy one room flat > Get wasted and chain smoke most nights > Mfw kidneys hurt >Mfw wake up vomit and start all over again > Such is life Any similar exp

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Can no longer blame the Rothchilds for my failures | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 03/02/24(Sat)23:58:34 No.914767440 >Be me 21 yrs >Have a extremely catholic mom >Go every Sunday morning to church as always >A Bishop is guiding the mass >Mass ends and my mom calls me and my dad to go talk to him >She pulls me to her front and says "Bishop, this is my son, he's a very good man but has problems finding a job and a GF" >They both start praying for me to get a better life >FF to Tuesday, a Rothschild dies and I receive a call from the job I applied to start working next Monday with them >Wednesday at the gym go talk to my gym crush, speaks perfectly no stuttering nor any autistic s---, get her IG >Thursday have a friends meets with my high school friends that I haven't seen in 5 years since graduation >Friday wins 4,000 bucks in a lottery jackpot Thanks mom the bishop for making my life better and taking a Rothschild away! : Anonymous Put me in the screen cap? 03/03/24(Sun)00:23:35 No.914768214

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Anons needs help overcoming a unisex public toilet incident | /r/Greentext

File: 91408619_55df76d5-2245-4(...).jpg (58 KB, 976x850) E How do men over come something like this? Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat) 17:22:04 No.30838780 got no real advice or in sight last thread, feeling pretty messed up about it >work in shopping centre >go to use unisex / public toilet with signage, lights and buttons >signage stated "unoccupied" with green light showing >i press the button, the door opens (wont open if locked correctly) >take a step in, someone is on toilet, walk straight back out, everything on CCTV >10 minutes later, mother of alleged person in toilet starts screaming calling me a ped >she goes to police, they do nothing >she makes in house complaint, (I even provide a statement of my side of the story and push for CCTV to be used), nothing happens Over a year later this 40yo is at my gym, trying to butter people up and getting to know them so she can spread this rumour. No-one actually believes her and when she tells the story people are asking questions but shes still trying to slander my name anyway. I've contacted police and solicitors but they said to not worry and that it would just cost money for a deformation case. Police said they can't charge her because she hasnt said anything directly to me. Ive been told I cannot confront her or it gives her ammo what would you do next??? Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat)18:38:20 No.30839000 You should f--- off and stop reposting this s--- you autistic f-----.

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Combined Arms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me, few months ago >first year in uni >end up needing to do a course with public speaking assignments >I have insane levels of stagefright, feels like I'm having a heart attack whenever everyone looks at me assignments >manage to barely get by two based on the quality of the work alone since I could barely read I was so nervous >this time it's a group project 319 KB JPG 02/04/24(Sun)13:59:53 No.76347473 >don't have friend group but got a study group, most of the people in there also have that course >end up being grouped with a guy and girl I barely know >we get to work and after a week it's already clear that the guy has no interest in contributing at all >girl ends up being insanely shy to the point where she barely talks to me and gets flustered whenever she's even remotely put on the spot (she barely talked at all in the study group but I assumed she was just focused on doing work instead of messing around) >fine whatever >do basically all of the assignment work myself, the chick only helps make the presentation look "nicer" by just messing with some color values and makes the font pink for some ungodly reason despite the white background >after a month of suffering us three go up front, I'm thoroughly sick of it at this point >without thinking I grab the script from the guy's hands and start reading it out in perfect pitch with a bit of a deadpan in front of some 200 students >no anxiety >w-- did I just solve my public speaking anxiety???????? are anger issues the solution?

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Could anon be gay? | /r/Greentext

File: i80441014312312ka3231.jpg (1.08 MB, 3576x3156) 19.4 FILTER HE'S JUST LIKE ME... FR FR... Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat)07:56:18 No.914756782 >be me >super ultra hyper mega heterosexual >decide to smoke weed for the first time with my friend, whynot.jpg >playing vidya together alone in his house >high af, never felt this slow in my life everything is in slow motion >start to realize my friend is kinda cute, he has long hair and kinda look like a girl from behind >idk why but i'm getting kinda horny being next to him >without even noticing i'm playing with his hair while he plays, he just keeps playing >keep going and i feel like he's getting kinda hot and weird >jeez my d--- is so hard rn h-------- >being super high and stuff i was just flowing with the vibe >slowly guide him to unzip my pants >he's sucking my c--- already >goddamn that feels good >i c-- so f------ hard on his mouth, might have been my best nut >just go home >post nut clarity hits, regrets >I'm still too high to think too much about it so i just shrug it off and sleep >wake up the next day and feel disgusted i'm never smoking this s--- again bro.I don't even feel attracted to him any longer. could i be actually gay? there's no way bro

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Anon gives good advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 144 KB JPG 03/02/24(Sat)15:22:42 No.2625244 Bros I have a situation >be me 5 years ago >won't bore you with context but i ended up distributing trenbolone via mail parcels >got caught >got convicted >12 month suspended sentence (that is, no actual prison time served) >now have criminal record >want to visit japan later in the year >apparently you get insta-denied if you have a drug conviction >but people say you should say no on the form to enter the country >but others say that's even worse F----- what do? 03/02/24(Sat)18:59:54 No.2625329 : Anonymous >>2625244 (OP) # Go to their immigration office/embassy and try to convince them that you were just trolling back then.

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Cuckus Maximus | /r/Greentext

46 KB GIF >spend an year with her and her son >Taught him to be a gentleman and respectful of his mother (4-5y/o kid, was insulting and hitting his mom) >dedicate my life to the boy and her >quit drugs/alcohol/gambling/easy women after 15+years of this lifestyle >support her financially (pay for rent, food, clothes, vacations, kids toys, whatever there is) >read books, talk to psychologists about how to be a step dad and raise the kid >kid calls me dad >deny a $200k+ out of country job job so I can be with them (that's 30x average salary in my country) >she leaves me because "I need to be surrounded by people who improve themselves and chase a career" Call me Cuckus Maximus

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Anon is in a dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/24(Sat)10:23:55 No.914761935 >be me, typical class clown loser >in math class, goofing off >while doing an equation on the whiteboard, the teacher asks us to calculate 324 x 67 for her >being the class clown I blurt out a random number and then tell everyone I'm one of those genius human calculators as a joke >to everyone's complete shock, myself included, I ended up guessing the correct number somehow >everyone now thinks I'm some kinda mathematical genius 272 KB JPG What do I do guys? This is the first time I've actually gotten any respect from my peers and it feels awesome. But I know I'll get exposed for the fraud I am sooner or later and I'll go back to being a loser

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Anon is really not that bright | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 500 KB PNG 8 Replies / 2 Images 02/23/24(Fri)20:06:38 No.76557004 >taking a shower >hop out >drying assho- pause >"I forgot to wash my a------, didn't |?" >check for confirmation >hop back in the shower : Anonymous >>76557004 (OP) # You have that much s--- back there? >>76557071 # >>76558583 # View Thread 02/23/24(Fri)20:15:33 No.76557058

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What did Feige mean by this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:47:01 >age of ultron >they never tell you how old ultron is O Anonymous 06/22/21(Tue)20:48:50 No. 123946973 File: 1426388753140.gif (494 KB, 200x200) >infinity war >only lasts 15 minutes Anonymous 06/22/21 (Tue)20:49:52 No.123946993 >>123946948 (OP). >Civil War >It's just an airport scuffle.

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Death of the author | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Watchmen 03/02/24(Sat)12:36:59 No.19681645 SIMLEE wiway- SNC 1499743063199.jpg 255 KB JPG >Left: People need to be told the truth, even if it will cost my own life. >Right: I am ready to kill everyone for my plan...no not myself. >Moore: Ahah I am trolling fascists by making Rorschach die to respect his morale, there is no way I am glorifying him as one of the greatest superheroes of history. Is Moore retard?

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Anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPEG 3/2/2024, 1:55:14 AM > be me > completely heterosexual > be in the storeroom in the back > my coworker is also back there > he definitely works out > see him reaching up to the tall shelf > feel nothing because I'm straight > go home and f--- my sister No.76381149 Get your mind out of the gutter, you f------ degenerates. I told you I'm not gay.

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Greentext Stories - Anon and cute gril | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous Love story The Offigial Rice Purity Test Sarcom 75 KB PNG 03/03/24(Sun)21:06:12 No.914809729 >be me >2 days ago >public transport 12pm, bus is FULL and im with friends >cute girl stands next to me, think nothing of it >talking with friend, start talking about cards against humanity >i say its boring >cute girl overhears >"It's not boring." >"...huh?" >"It's not boring. at all." >"...huh....okay.." >get home >literally cannot stop thinking about her >dream and ache for her Whats happening, bros? I've had 3 girlfriends before and sex, but NOTHING has ever hit me like this. The way she looked, at me, it did something. My heart is hers. Is there hope?

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