anon browses reddit | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 02/27/24(Tue)10:33:54 No.914571444 >be me >picrel >on phone, browsing reddit >few retards look over my shoulder >see image from gore sub, quickly swipe away >get in trouble for showing retards gore >explain that if they want to see whats on other phones they should expect to potentially see disturbing content 149 KB JPG >get told that if I am caught browsing gore again I get expelled from college >told to only browse it in my room >mfw retards looked at my phone at the wrong time and reported seeing disturbing content >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon can't catch a break | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 1 REPLY Anonymous 40 minutes ago >d-d-double kill! 1 REPLY 50026589 >try to kill myself >guardian angel saves me >he shows me what my life would be like if I were never born >turns out everything is better and everyone is happier >guardian angel kills himself 50027055

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The Human Torch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 469 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)06:36:24 No.76593875 >become fire punch Anonymous >>76593875 (OP) # What did he originally mean by this? Originally oregano 02/27/24(Tue)06:40:11 No.76593914

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What was bro afraid of | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/27/24(Tue)17:14:10 No.914564064 n28q0oman19s775tn3.png 190 KB PNG >is on the floor dead and still burning >still held at gunpoint ???

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Tis be a phantom | /r/Greentext

File: 1519608390810.jpg (35 KB, 345x399) 4 << Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:34:04 No.155984055 ► >>155986573 >>155986978 >>155987350 >>155987425 >>155987733 >>155987875 >>155988287 >Pray tell, who leads this inquisition? >Tis I, my Lor- >Not henceforth. >>155984471 >This man's a godforsaken phantom! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)01:44:21 No.155984471 ► >>155985405 >>155987033 >>155987125 >>155987214>>155987822 >>155987947 >>155991171 >>155992052 >>155992738 >my liege, this man that we pursue, it seems he does naught but spend his days in idleness >He does no work? >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:08:38 No.155985405 ► >>155988441 >no my lord >but how does he feed his wife and children? >he has none, sire >Is he not a man well into the summer of his life? >>155986326 >And thou's other dagger... >verily, my lord, but he lives as though still a child, we have on good account he hath never lain with a woman >You would have me believe this knave be the worst sort of simpleton, but nay, it cannot be, tis a ruse >Aye, my lord as you say, he must be a hermit of most puissant art to remain so chaste and humble all his life, we dare not approach him carelessly ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:36:38 No. 155986326 ► >>155986411 >Hark! Thine latest exploit resulted in reprehension of mine by the hands of the archbishop. >Produce and handeth over thine crucifix and sword. >AS WELL as thine dagger! Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:39:08 No.155986411 ► >>155987350 >> Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:43:40 No. 155986573 ► >>155984055 (OP) Verily this shall mine last crusade. Thereafter I shalt retire to countryside, and raise hares with my wife and bairns. ☐ Anonymous 09/08/21 (Wed)02:47:05 No.155986684 ► >>155987463 partake in relations

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Femanon should be concerned? | /r/Greentext

>be me >femanon >found that my bf likes destiny >remembers that destiny gets cucked multiple times by his wife and destiny admitted that he enjoys it (That's all I know about destiny) >mfw Does this mean something. Should I be concerned?

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Anon suggests nation-wide terrorism to solve localized political problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RxMA1gZn C Real Solution for the Israel P(...) Energy for Hatred per Person Land redistribution among 3 parties that have been promised all the land each We are here 02/27/24(Tue)12:19:54 No.460011560 Settlements, Terror ist attacks on citizens. Tunnel Systems, Hostage Situations, Bombing Civilians Absurdity to Hatred Chart Screen Shot 2024-02-27 at 11.57.05.png 416 KB PNG Absurdity Ok hear me out. We all know that there is never going to be real peace in the middle east - at least not by agreement. What we instead have to do is push the situation so far into the absurd realm, people are not even ABLE to fight anymore. A few suggestions: > Over night, deconstruct the western wall and >Import 5 million African refugees >Import 5 million Pakistani refugees recunstruct it in the shape of the Al-Aqsa Mosque. Break down the Al-Aqsa Mosque into rubble and reconstruct it in the shape of the western wal. >Release 100 000 stray pigs >Redirect all internet traffic to blackpeoplemeet.com >Hack into all phones and devices and release all private chats, e-mails and nudes. U >Redistribute random parts of the land with a MrBeast challenge (Last one to lift their hand off the land gets it ) >Fly Drones over the land and blast Trance Music 24/7 on max volume Anonymous (ID: ZvuTzYj8 >Create a p--- network with exclusively Palestinian-on- Jewish p--- that is broadcast to all TV-Channels randomly. They won't even have the mental energy to fight anymore.

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Where did bro get all this lore from | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Helldivers Society 02/27/24(Tue)06:30:37 No.668401502 1700370210096901.png 864 KB PNG >Clean streets, not a single piece of litter in sight >crime almost non-existent >large, beautiful 50's future retro styled suburban homes with large well kept lawns >friendly neighbors >Cops just minding their own business rather than being d-------- and road pirates >kickass looking cars >Racial harmony among humans >booming economy that makes 50's America look like a joke in comparison OH MY GOD SAVE ME FROM THIS DYSTOPIAN NIGHTMARE A^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Burning Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 279 KB JPG 01/30/24(Tue)13:45:42 No.76292889 >Be me >Buy onahole last month >Use it regularly. Is ok >Last week, decide to put a thong on my pillow, and secure the onahole between the pillow and the thong (kinda like it's strapped to the pillow) >pronebone the s--- out of my pillow >Best orgasm of my entire life >Forget and move on >Be today. Horny again >take meds I forgot I had. All OTC, but helps me chill out. >Strap thong on pillow, secure onahole, and pronebone >Shaking orgasm >wait a few hours and repeat >literally trying not to scream from how good it feels >never had an orgasm this good >it's like my brain thinks i'm actually having sex, and it send extra pleasure both to my d--- and to my brain >feel even more releaxed now that the drugs have mixed in with the coomer dopamine Is this the best way going forward? I can cope like this for a long time. My body was shaking, I was moaning hard, and I feel so chill now.

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Crusaderanon is off the quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >and your other sword : Anonymous : Anonymous AND YOUR OTHER ROSARY TOTOUR GREINA HIM. பாசு: zy kt Afori >Hand over your sword and your crucifix. You're off the quest. >But my lord, I - >I don't want to hear it. The archbishop has been on my ass ever since that little stunt you pulled in Burgundy. You're a loose trebuchet. : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >you're off the case, Lionheart. Saladin has banished Christians to palestine Semarang HELE, 02/27/24(Tue)12:05:32 No.196688135 wrink? 130 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)12:06:13 No.196688167 : Anonymous >I'm getting too old for this shibboleth. 02/27/24(Tue)12:09:04 No.196688237 >>196688530 # >>196688582 # 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:13 No.196688343 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:54 No.196688356 02/27/24(Tue)12:14:46 No.196688383 >>196688135 (OP) # >*monk scribbles furiously on a manuscript* >I'm in

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Anon has sex with his gf | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (39 KB, 400x580) OH JESUS NOT THIS S--- AGAIN Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:26:45 No.616786855 >>616787206 >>616787357 >>616787876 >>616788157 >>616788428 >>616788614 >>616788931 >>616789205 >>616789237 >>616789929 >>616790086 >>616790215 616790311 >>616791842 >>616792252 >>616793358 >>616793500 >>616795737 >>616796916 >>616797132 >>616797530 >>616798742 >>616798769 F--- /b/ I F----- UP. I NEED YOUR ADVICE. >be me, 20 minutes ago. >having loving sex with gf >decide f--- it I'm gonna t---- f--- her. >proceed to do so. >whatdoyouwantbitch.jpeg >i get off and then she just stares at her stomach with no reaction on her face >I look at her stomach >huge skid mark from my ass >she gets up, cleans it and leaves >I'm alone in my apartment now. >mfw wat do? >I was on top, she was on bottom. >I was sitting on her stomach f------ her t--- Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:29:03 No.616787121 >>616790330 File: image.jpg (110 KB, 1280x1280) Oh man. 10/10 >then she just stares blankly at me >did I do something wrong? >no reply >blank stare Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:57:18 No.616790020 >>616790091 >>616790214 >>616790215 >>616790717 >>616790901 >>616791036 >>616791165 >>616791254 >>61679163 >>616791738 >>616793220 >>616793348 >>616793619 File: image.jpg (40 KB, 478x640) SON I AM DISAPPOINT Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:58:02 No.616790091 ► >>616790020 KEK'D LOUD Talk to your girlfriend OP. It might help get s--- off her chest. Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:59:15 No.616790215 ► File: nfNeT7YvTozx0cv7ze3mplZpo1_500.gif (85 KB, 480x600) >>616786855 (OP) Oh and op. >pic related >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 So much kek i can not handle this >> □ Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:03:54 No.616790717 ► File: 1430062888942.jpg (41 KB. 560x375) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15 (Wed)04:26:08 No.616793220 ► File: 1422738636270.jpg (75 KB, 720x720) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:12:23 No.616791633 ► File: 1427200358784.png (27 KB, 228x378) ???PPPPPP >>616790020 AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04: 13:22 No.616791738 ► File: 1429088024965.jpg (25 KB, 284x271) >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:05:51 No.616790901 ► File: b18218a1dc02004e6a91a0a0b(...).jpg (21 KB, 236x279) BELIEVE ME THIS S--- IS GOOD! >>616790020 capping this for future generations keksimus maximus >>616790020 Hahaha.. Lost my s--- anon! >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:29:46 No.616793619 ► File: 1431965895389.png (332 KB, 596x628) >>616790020

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Anon needs to read a literary classic | /r/Greentext

File: 1651379081107.jpg (29 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:08:25 No.30811686► >>30811934 >be me uni student, tall, about average attractiveness but pretty low inhib >walking around campus, bored as f--- >see a random 10/10 (genuinely) girl sitting there and decide to talk to her and ask for her number just for the lulz >she's a little awkward and her voice is shaking and she says "sorry anon but I'm actually married" >see her a few times around campus and she smiles at me, a few times i'm sitting somewhere and she sits near me should I talk to her again and get her snapchat or something? >>30812036 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:43:27 No.30811906 only if you're only interested in being friends Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:46:59 No.30811934>>30812036 >>30811686 (OP) What? She's got s husband what good is her snapchat >>30811906 >>30811934 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:04:31 No.30812036 File: 1652455736558.jpg (292 KB, 1439x1078) ummm try again sweaty, i'm want to cuck her husband :) Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:10:14 No.30812071 ► >>30812115 I think you should read Anna Karenina, you Count Vronski wannabe Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:18:48 No.30812115 >>30812071 hmm a tolstoy novel. seems interesting desu. maybe I will read it

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Anon has a crush on his coworker. | /r/Greentext

File: peperecon.png (73 KB, 454x453) Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:44:07 No.76587686 >be me >retail wagie >have qt3.14 coworker >she is pretty much my dream waifu in aesthetics >light skin, brunette hair with bangs, big brown eyes >wears round glasses, soft facial features >small frame but has a nice badonkadonk >dresses kind of nerdy even >saw her go into the employee bathroom today >she was in there for a few minutes at least >>76588694 >>76588873 Guys I went in there after her and licked both sides of the toilet seat. I know she probably used a seat cover but her bare ass was still right on that surface just about. I jerked it when I got home and the post nut clarity hit like a freight train. Best case scenario is I'm just an idiot, worst case I get oral herpes or some kind of infection from that seat.

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