Burning Sky | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 279 KB JPG 01/30/24(Tue)13:45:42 No.76292889 >Be me >Buy onahole last month >Use it regularly. Is ok >Last week, decide to put a thong on my pillow, and secure the onahole between the pillow and the thong (kinda like it's strapped to the pillow) >pronebone the s--- out of my pillow >Best orgasm of my entire life >Forget and move on >Be today. Horny again >take meds I forgot I had. All OTC, but helps me chill out. >Strap thong on pillow, secure onahole, and pronebone >Shaking orgasm >wait a few hours and repeat >literally trying not to scream from how good it feels >never had an orgasm this good >it's like my brain thinks i'm actually having sex, and it send extra pleasure both to my d--- and to my brain >feel even more releaxed now that the drugs have mixed in with the coomer dopamine Is this the best way going forward? I can cope like this for a long time. My body was shaking, I was moaning hard, and I feel so chill now.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Crusaderanon is off the quest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >and your other sword : Anonymous : Anonymous AND YOUR OTHER ROSARY TOTOUR GREINA HIM. பாசு: zy kt Afori >Hand over your sword and your crucifix. You're off the quest. >But my lord, I - >I don't want to hear it. The archbishop has been on my ass ever since that little stunt you pulled in Burgundy. You're a loose trebuchet. : Anonymous >>196688135 (OP) # >you're off the case, Lionheart. Saladin has banished Christians to palestine Semarang HELE, 02/27/24(Tue)12:05:32 No.196688135 wrink? 130 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)12:06:13 No.196688167 : Anonymous >I'm getting too old for this shibboleth. 02/27/24(Tue)12:09:04 No.196688237 >>196688530 # >>196688582 # 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:13 No.196688343 02/27/24(Tue)12:13:54 No.196688356 02/27/24(Tue)12:14:46 No.196688383 >>196688135 (OP) # >*monk scribbles furiously on a manuscript* >I'm in

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Anon has sex with his gf | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (39 KB, 400x580) OH JESUS NOT THIS S--- AGAIN Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:26:45 No.616786855 >>616787206 >>616787357 >>616787876 >>616788157 >>616788428 >>616788614 >>616788931 >>616789205 >>616789237 >>616789929 >>616790086 >>616790215 616790311 >>616791842 >>616792252 >>616793358 >>616793500 >>616795737 >>616796916 >>616797132 >>616797530 >>616798742 >>616798769 F--- /b/ I F----- UP. I NEED YOUR ADVICE. >be me, 20 minutes ago. >having loving sex with gf >decide f--- it I'm gonna t---- f--- her. >proceed to do so. >whatdoyouwantbitch.jpeg >i get off and then she just stares at her stomach with no reaction on her face >I look at her stomach >huge skid mark from my ass >she gets up, cleans it and leaves >I'm alone in my apartment now. >mfw wat do? >I was on top, she was on bottom. >I was sitting on her stomach f------ her t--- Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:29:03 No.616787121 >>616790330 File: image.jpg (110 KB, 1280x1280) Oh man. 10/10 >then she just stares blankly at me >did I do something wrong? >no reply >blank stare Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:57:18 No.616790020 >>616790091 >>616790214 >>616790215 >>616790717 >>616790901 >>616791036 >>616791165 >>616791254 >>61679163 >>616791738 >>616793220 >>616793348 >>616793619 File: image.jpg (40 KB, 478x640) SON I AM DISAPPOINT Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:58:02 No.616790091 ► >>616790020 KEK'D LOUD Talk to your girlfriend OP. It might help get s--- off her chest. Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)03:59:15 No.616790215 ► File: nfNeT7YvTozx0cv7ze3mplZpo1_500.gif (85 KB, 480x600) >>616786855 (OP) Oh and op. >pic related >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 >>616790020 So much kek i can not handle this >> □ Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:03:54 No.616790717 ► File: 1430062888942.jpg (41 KB. 560x375) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15 (Wed)04:26:08 No.616793220 ► File: 1422738636270.jpg (75 KB, 720x720) >>616790020 >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:12:23 No.616791633 ► File: 1427200358784.png (27 KB, 228x378) ???PPPPPP >>616790020 AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04: 13:22 No.616791738 ► File: 1429088024965.jpg (25 KB, 284x271) >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:05:51 No.616790901 ► File: b18218a1dc02004e6a91a0a0b(...).jpg (21 KB, 236x279) BELIEVE ME THIS S--- IS GOOD! >>616790020 capping this for future generations keksimus maximus >>616790020 Hahaha.. Lost my s--- anon! >> Anonymous 05/20/15(Wed)04:29:46 No.616793619 ► File: 1431965895389.png (332 KB, 596x628) >>616790020

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Anon needs to read a literary classic | /r/Greentext

File: 1651379081107.jpg (29 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:08:25 No.30811686► >>30811934 >be me uni student, tall, about average attractiveness but pretty low inhib >walking around campus, bored as f--- >see a random 10/10 (genuinely) girl sitting there and decide to talk to her and ask for her number just for the lulz >she's a little awkward and her voice is shaking and she says "sorry anon but I'm actually married" >see her a few times around campus and she smiles at me, a few times i'm sitting somewhere and she sits near me should I talk to her again and get her snapchat or something? >>30812036 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:43:27 No.30811906 only if you're only interested in being friends Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)17:46:59 No.30811934>>30812036 >>30811686 (OP) What? She's got s husband what good is her snapchat >>30811906 >>30811934 Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:04:31 No.30812036 File: 1652455736558.jpg (292 KB, 1439x1078) ummm try again sweaty, i'm want to cuck her husband :) Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:10:14 No.30812071 ► >>30812115 I think you should read Anna Karenina, you Count Vronski wannabe Anonymous 02/26/24 (Mon)18:18:48 No.30812115 >>30812071 hmm a tolstoy novel. seems interesting desu. maybe I will read it

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Anon has a crush on his coworker. | /r/Greentext

File: peperecon.png (73 KB, 454x453) Anonymous 02/25/24(Sun)19:44:07 No.76587686 >be me >retail wagie >have qt3.14 coworker >she is pretty much my dream waifu in aesthetics >light skin, brunette hair with bangs, big brown eyes >wears round glasses, soft facial features >small frame but has a nice badonkadonk >dresses kind of nerdy even >saw her go into the employee bathroom today >she was in there for a few minutes at least >>76588694 >>76588873 Guys I went in there after her and licked both sides of the toilet seat. I know she probably used a seat cover but her bare ass was still right on that surface just about. I jerked it when I got home and the post nut clarity hit like a freight train. Best case scenario is I'm just an idiot, worst case I get oral herpes or some kind of infection from that seat.

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Bloody Sickle | /r/Greentext

: Odd Anon AH 117 KB JPG 01/25/24(Thu)21:22:46 No.76238858 > Be 6 year old me > Watch p--- for the first time with my old bro but we got caught > The next day > Watch emperor's new groove with the neighbor's daughter (12) whose babysitting me > We eventually got ourselves to a tickle fight > Remember what I watched last night > Go for her lips and kiss > Pull away and see her get confused > Go down on her and aggressively pull her underwear down > It's a spiderman underwear > She fights back by pulling it up > This continues for like 10 mins or so > Suddenly she got called by her mom > Says she'll come back > She didn't come back > Next day, everything's back to normal I don't know why did my 6 year old self did that but I really hope she doesn't remember that anons. This memory still lingers in the back of my mind and I can't forgive myself for it.

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Party pooper | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 194 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)13:31:59 No.76598198 >hear couple above my apartment having sex >go to my bathroom and take a violent s--- >can hear the women yelling that was disgusting and the night was ruined. fr though living in a apartment with poor sound proofing sucks ass. Anonymous >>76598198 (OP) # KEK f------ based I hope you keep doing this to them 02/27/24(Tue)13:32:43 No.76598209

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He also defeated the Orcs but ok | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 220.png 134 KB PNG 02/27/24(Tue)04:07:52 No.196675407 >be Gondor peasant >some hobo shows up near the tail end of the battle for Minas Tirith, basically just helping with the cleanup since most of the fighting had already been done >claims he's the heir of a kingdom that no longer exists and by extention is also your rightful king since his ancestor was the brother of your king from thousands of years ago >you havent even had a king for a thousand years >all this after your steward mysteriously falls off a cliff in an event unrelated to the battle, at which two of the hobo's buddies were present

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Anon tells the story of Seth the Tard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: f30Q+c1j) 06/13/12(Wed)03:27:18 No.405850895 >Be in fifth grade. >Mega tard named Seth is in my class >He f------ farts all the god damned time. >Ohgodkillmesoidon'thavetoendureitanylonger.jpg >One day ten minutes before PE >Seth walks up to my friends and I hanging around outside. >"Pass gas." >allmywhat.jpg >He shoves his hands down his pants, pulls out handfuls of putrid s---, flings them at us. >We flip the f--- out. >Huge mound of human s--- hits my friend >I flip out, had enough of human s--- being flung around. >Punch him in the face as hard as I can. >Bloody nose. >Starts screaming bloody murder. >PE teacher comes over, he says I just punched him in the face for no reason. >I point at my s--- covered friend, "Ma'am, he was literally throwing his s--- at us." >"DID YOU JUST SAY THE, 'S' WORD?" >"Uhm, my shirt is covered in poop..."-My friend. >"WE'RE GOING TO THE OFFICE!" >Get in trouble, my parents called. Almost expelled from school.. >I hate tards.

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Anon fall asleep on his keyboard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 05/03/21 (Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me

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Anon identifies himself as truecel | /r/Greentext

File: 1702866886005797.jpg (18 KB, 320x320) >> You are a fakecel if you have friends Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)17:57:00 No.76590726 >>76590818 >>76591231 >>76591302 >>76591338 >>76591418 >>76591419 >>76591591 >>76591607 I'm so f------ tired of people here claiming to be incels and then casually mentioning that they have a friend or a discord buddy. If you are able to make another human talk to you regularly you are basically a normie. You are socially competent. F--- off from this board. Just go get a girlfriend with all those social skills of yours. Why do you even come here? You have no idea what real loneliness feels like. Is it just to laugh at us? I'm f------ tired of how many people here are like this, there are no more than like 5% of truecels here. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:16:52 No.76590818 ► >>76590907 >>76590726 (OP) if this isn't bait then you're a despicable human being. it's nice to see people like you being alone. who the f--- are you to come here and gatekeep? drown in your own misery, you spineless f---. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)18:28:20 No.76590907 >>76591153 >>76591209 >>76591232 >>76590818 What is even remotely despicable about what I said? Why do you normies like to invade and s--- up everything? You literally have the rest of the internet to talk about how you have friends. You come here specificallty to make us truecels feel bad. The entitlement is insane Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:03:33 No.76591153 ► >>76591232 >>76590907 no don't you get it you're despicable because... you're lonely or something Neusch !!Obl0TN2+TWM 02/26/24(Mon)19:11:46 No.76591209 >>76591252 >>76590907 You are replying to a cuckold; a futile endeavour. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:13:58 No.76591231 >>76591252 >>76591398 >>76590726 (OP) So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend. What the f--- are you smoking, n-----? Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:14:14 No.76591232 >>76591398 >>76591438 >>76590907 >>76591153 you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? or do i have to explain the difference to you too, mongrels? >entitlement you are not entitled to the use of this board, if you dont like the people that visit this board then get the f--- out, or get owned because you couldn't adapt. is it THAT hard to try befriending a person? even criminals have friends, if you don't have any then it's because you don't try or you're despicable, and since you seem to think you have tried then you're despicable. get a grip, the world won't stop moving because you decided to be bitter. you will be forgotten. so better get your ass moving. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:17:03 No.76591252 ► >>76591231 this thread is retarded, don't bother >>76591209 look at these tripfag retards, it's like if this board became a fiesta of people trying to be the incelest incel of them all Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:22:25 No.76591302 ► >>76590726 (OP). Holy based. The fake robots didn't like this one. Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:26:11 No.76591326 ► "truecels" are as bad as leftist f------ that constantly make b------- reasons about how theyre oppressed more than another demographic Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:28:03 No.76591338 ► >>76590726 (OP) you are all actually hopeless holy f--- Anonymous 02/26/24(Mon)19:37:06 No.76591398 >>76591585 >>76591838 >>76591911 >>76591231 >So a 5'4" ugly autist is a fakecel because he has another ugly incel friend Literally yes retard. He has enough social skills to make and keep a friend, which is a lot of social skills. >>76591232 >you retards realize that having a conversation with people IRL is different from having friends on discord, right? Not that different. It's funny that you speak as if everybody can just find a discord friend no problem. You are no different from Chad telling people "Just get a girlfriend bro, it's so easy" The gap between having a friend and having a girlfriend is much smaller than the gap between having no friends and having a friend. So if you were able to jump the first gap and get friends then you can jump the second gap relatively easily and get a gf. Therefore, if you have friends, you are a fakecel.

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Anon doesn't get his burger | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ← # Mobile The cops arrested me Dordash + 02/25/24(Sun)13:20:22 No.20240571 Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. 12:49 AM O' Can you tell the cops to deliver my burger? r Type a message... 1000016557.jpg 324 KB JPG >one place selling burgers at this hour >get an order in 5 minutes before closing >salivating Sent ļ >guy parks near a cemetery for like 15 minutes on the way here >sends this

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Anon practices wizardry and witchcraft | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous Magic is power 02/25/24(Sun)10:31:16 No.914462639 >be me >wizard >see traffic jam >cast enrage on drivers >watch the mayhem as drivers I CAST POORLY CROPPED IMAGE get out of their cars and beat the s--- out of eachother 57 KB JPG >watch granny beat little timmy with an umbrella >several guys seriously hospitalized >get held responsible because I cast the spell >go to court >all the drivers and their families are there >cast it again

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