Anon's buttons are pressed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1681237427393486.png (2.6 MB, 1534x2048) RID ING ☐ /v/ Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)07:06:25 No.668141854 >be me with nintendo switch because im stupid >get joycon drift on both sets of my joycons >get really tired of putting up with s----- controllers >get a switch pro controller cause i heard its better >use the d-pad instead of the sticks so i dont drift again >fast forward 6 months later >d-pad s---- itself a week after playing Puyo Puyo Tetris >goes up instead of right when i press right on it >mfw #1 company in japan fellas amirite

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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/Fit/izen is now a mime | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/15(Sat)05:29:01 No.31370134 So this happened about 5 hours ago and I'm still curled up cringing >qt receptionist at gym I always smile and say Hi to, it's never gone beyond that >finally today on my way out, she says "Wow you're lookin' big!" >at this point a regular human may have said thankyou to the compliment, or even taken it further and began to develop a conversation >for some reason I decide I'm now a mime >a f------ mime >instead of walking out the door I pretend that I'm too wide to fit through >walk forward a few times but mime bouncing back as if I'm simply not large enough to walk through >turn sideways and wobble out making a "bub bub bub" noise for a sound effect >once through I turn around smiling and look at her >she looks at me like I broke in her house on Christmas day and p----- on her kids welp that's a certified never >>31370193 # >>31370267 # >>31370294 # >>31370352 # >>31370488 # >>31370537 # >>31370963 # >>31371089 # >>31371143 # >>31371285 # >>31371653 # >>31371675 # >>31371692 # >>31371803 # >>31371889 # >>31371910 # >>31371976 # >>31372391 # >>31372551 # >>31372896 # >>31373586 # >>31373610 # >>31374307 # >>31374548 # >>31374841 #

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Anon has a bone to pick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Vw9n8J5+) 30 KB JPG 07/19/21 (Mon)15:36:51 No.330658712 >I won't invest in my children >I will outsource my youth job >I will dismantle my union job >I will secure my pension >I will lower your wage >I will contract foreginers >I will open borders >I will jail you for having wrong opinions >I will abort your brother and sister >I won't leave you a penny >I won't hire your friends >I won't let you inherit my home >I will sell the my home to foreign investors, I will sell the whole country too >I am boomer, eater of children >No generation had so much and money and left so little >Apre moi, le deluge >>330661761 # >>330666449 # >>330667224 # >>330669107 # >>330670483 #

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BTTF if it was good | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/24/24(Sat)09:28:43 No.196581279 169 KB JPG >Woah Doc, you're saying I've gotta impregnate my mom?! >Yes Marty, it's imperative! >But... you're saying I've gotta plap her brains out until she has a crippling orgasm all over my throbbing c---?! >Yes Marty, and don't forget the kissing! >Wait a sec Doc, are you saying I've got to ram my tongue down her throat while I power thrust my diamond c--- as deep as it can reach into her soft, warm, dripping wet p---- until I shoot the biggest load of my life into my own mom? MY MOM?! >There's no time to waste Marty! You must do it now! Your future depends on it! >But Doc.. >Hurry Marty! >Doc, I gotta tell you something! The Plutonium, it messed with my... It damaged my.. Ah jeez Doc, how do I say this? I'm shooting blanks Doc! >That's impossible Marty! The photo! You and your siblings are returning to the photograph! Your brother's head, it's no longer faded... Hold on Marty! What's this!? >Doc, his hair, it's all white and frizzy, kinda like.... >Great Scott! Powerful stuff

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Tomboy manifesto | /r/Greentext

Love tomboys. Marry tomboys. Kiss tomboys. Rigorous sex with tomboys. Slam dunk baby batter into tomboy vaginas. Cheer for tomboys at athletics competitions. Make sure tomboy's food is nutritionally balanced. Launch tomboys into prominence. Disrespect authority with delinquent tomboys. Get mistaken for a gay couple with your reverse trap tomboy. Admire tomboys. Civil rights for tomboys. Worship tomboys.

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Anon Has Low Hopes for the Borderlands Cinematic Universe | /r/Greentext

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Anon is on the mark | /r/Greentext

File: 1708590621965137.jpg (416 KB, 1496x1572) >> >> 3 Anonymous (ID: IRiHznCT) 02/24/24(Sat)11:34:15 No.19659558 >>19659582 >>19659662 >>19659955 >Be Polish >Get invaded Anonymous (ID: ffrcCPlv >>19659558 (OP). Gotta get that bussy somehow. Z 02/24/24(Sat)11:40:12 No.19659582 ► Anonymous (ID: X2fPhdZ) 02/24/24(Sat)11:45:25 No.19659603 ► File: 1707322002048270.png (15 KB, 360x546) Anonymous (ID: ocD8CIB7) still the higheset win rate 02/24/24(Sat)11:48:57 No.19659616 >>19659656 Anonymous (ID: Dz31nxT8) 02/24/24(Sat) 12:03:18 No.19659656 ► >>19659616 huh? Anonymous (ID: LBxvoad4) 02/24/24(Sat) 12:04:59 No.19659662 >>19659558 (OP) that's Moldova in 5th place btw Anonymous (ID: 5Z710RtZ 02/24/24(Sat)13:43:54 No. 19659955 >>19659558 (OP) hard to disagree, we're kinda f----- location - wise on the other hand - we've never lost our culture and national identity in over 1K years while you are going to s--- in just few generations not that there was much lose in the first place...

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Anon has a sub zero IQ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)17:34:27 No.76544665 >glasses broke from the middle >didn't want to look like a nerd and tape it, plus it wouldn't hold well at all. >idea, glue them. >buy weird chinese super glue >"MR CEMENT DELUXE" >good enough > put them on my face first to get the allignment right. >layed back on my bed and started dripping it on the middle because that way it's held up by the bed. >some of it got on the bridge of my nose and the tips of my eyes >hurts like f---, burns my nose, stings my eyes >in pain I accidentally squirt a bunch more on my face >toss the glue aside. >face in pain >glasses are kinda holding, stay still so I wouldn't have used my glue for nothing >awful stench, lots of heat everywhere on my face >get up 5 minutes later >eyes feel fine now, nose feels fine now >feel face >glasses f------ fused to nose, to some forehead, to temples. >some of the glue dripped all the way down to my ears, fused with the glasses >f------ s--- they won't move >actually hurts to move them, like they're cemented to my bones. >look on the ground >the glue I tossed aside is stuck to the floor, immovable. ahem...what now? how do I remove them without a knife or something? is there a chemical i can use? constructive comments only please.

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What was his problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous >I can save your wife >oops I didn't save your wife but keep following me >OK master.... Dumb plothole 155 KB JPG 02/07/24(Wed)07:13:05 No.196025963 deseret.brightspotcdn.jpg 116 KB JPG >>196029764 # exceptional individual. 02/07/24(Wed)07:15:40 No.196026041 >And Anakin is just sitting there like a retard. >Oh God, can I still say retard? >Anakin is just sitting there like an

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Anon was a bit too fast | /r/Greentext

Tard (ID: 58npyCHm I am retarded ig 63 KB JPG 02/24/24(Sat)05:46:46 No.19656981 >Be me >16 >Girl best friend >Known each other since kindergarten >Develop Crush on her >Think she kinda likes me too >Tell myself to f--- anxiety and send her an audio where I openly state my mind >Tells me she likes me aswell and asks to meet up that evening >mfw I actually got over anxiety and am gonna have a gf >meet up >go for a walk in the park >settle down on a bank and talk for a bit >make a chad move and tell her that our first kiss together is gonna be awkward and just go in >Feel absolutely no emotion >Her euphoria from earlier seems to be gone >Panic in my mind an think i f----- up >she wants to go home >Kiss her again for good bye and still don't feel s--- >Donowalls me for 5 days straight >we openly talk about s--- and come to the conclusion that we don't want to take our relation too seriously >never interact again >me sitting in my room rn thinking about w-- I did wrong back then >mfw I am retarded i guess

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Anon wonders who the loser really is | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Homer Simpson 02/23/24(Fri)15:01:50 No.914366810 >works at a nuclear powerplant >has a loving wife and 2 kids >owns a two story house >can afford two cars as well >has friends that hang out with him 57 KB JPG >All this with his single salary This man lives a better life than 95% of the people who watch the show. Remind me again why Homer Simpson is seen as the quintessential loser?

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What were they thinking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/24(Wed)20:49:13 No.196494730 73c8e095-0d12-484f-ae41-f8a26cf41834-1020x612.jpeg.jpg 27 KB JPG >his entire plan to be raised from the dead relies entirely on a 12yr old girl OH NO NO NO NO AH HA HA HA HA

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Anon wonders what was in the envelope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 319 KB PNG 02/23/24(Fri)13:58:43 No.914378546 >be me, assistant manager in big company >Try to keep up with the diversity hiring, if your name is Tyrone or last name is Sanchez, you're hired >Unfortunately production has been steadily going down, stressing the s--- out of me and the higher ups >Manager tells me to be present in a meeting with the CEO >During the meeting they address the productivity issues and CEO demands a solution. >Tension is high, my manager puts a folder in front of him labeled "white snow", I can see it has several pages >Eye contact is being maintained, CEO picks up the folder and starts scanning through the pages. Closes it and put it down in front of him >"Do you know what's you're telling me with this?" >Manager slightly nods >"Do it, but keep the doritos" >We both leave without saying a word, and I'm left wondering w-- that was about >Next day I don't see any Tyrones or Tanishas at work >Turns out that the manager told them to not come again for the time being, that they'll still be in the payroll to avoid lawsuits >Production literally fixes itself in a week, latina secretary that was f------ Tyrone sucked my d--- in the bathroom today and has become a daily occurrence >Both my manager and I are getting a raise and promoted What in the f--- did I just witness bros? Just what the f--- was in that folder?

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