Anon is Eurotard | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 06/28/21(Mon)14:52:01 No.857854052 >highest number of prisoners PER CAPITA 140 KB JPG >highest violent crime rate in the western world >highest number of mass shootings of any developed country >no universal healthcare >super high tuition, high student loan debt >richest corporations pay exactly $0 in taxes >2 party political system that produces nothing >staggering amounts of homelessness >has been at war every decade >opioid and prescription pill addicted youth Be sure to celebrate it all on July 4th.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon glues glasses to his face | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)11:34:27 No.76544665 >glasses broke from the middle >didn't want to look like a nerd and tape it, plus it wouldn't hold well at all. >idea, glue them. >buy weird chinese super glue >"MR CEMENT DELUXE" >good enough > put them on my face first to get the allignment right. >layed back on my bed and started dripping it on the middle because that way it's held up by the bed. >some of it got on the bridge of my nose and the tips of my eyes >hurts like f---, burns my nose, stings my eyes >in pain I accidentally squirt a bunch more on my face >toss the glue aside. >face in pain >glasses are kinda holding, stay still so I wouldn't have used my glue for nothing >awful stench, lots of heat everywhere on my face >get up 5 minutes later >eyes feel fine now, nose feels fine now >feel face >glasses f------ fused to nose, to some forehead, to temples. >some of the glue dripped all the way down to my ears, fused with the glasses >f------ s--- they won't move >actually hurts to move them, like they're cemented to my bones. >look on the ground >the glue I tossed aside is stuck to the floor, immovable. ahem...what now? how do I remove them without a knife or something? is there a chemical i can use? constructive comments only please.

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Anon is about to get kamekaze-ed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: akqX27MI) ELE Imagine having Goku as a roomm(...) 02/22/24(Thu)19:13:21 ARE YOU FINALLY DONE kobishmob BEATING YOUR MEAT? No.19646032 >Be me, beating the meating >Next thing you know, no s---, first f------ thing, this appears in my recommended feed (https://youtu.be/LHjfzTI9vAE? si=-EwmllwHPshDk_Jq [Open]) 435 KB PNG I can't tell if Goku's been watching me or not, because I'm scared now that he's standing at the doorway and saying how "it's his turn now" I do like Goku as a friend, but God he f------ sucks as a roommate, that's last time I use that spot to do my business if he's gonna be a hawk about self- pleasure sessions.

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Anon wants to be safe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (fqN4UIXH)= 21 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)13:54:04 No.19645210 how many minutes of anime consumption a day is within the safe threshold before you start questioning your gender identity and take HRT? : Anonymous (ID: VaZOLgqs) 02/22/24(Thu)14:04:48 No.19645326 in for a penny, in for a pound(ed in the ass) : Anonymous (ID: pLX062hi ) [+] 02/22/24(Thu)14:25:00 No.19645506 >>19645210 (OP) # If you're not a t----- it won't affect you. If you are then there's no point worrying about that eventuality anyways. : Anonymous (ID: GDjk+Pes) [+ 02/22/24(Thu)15:40:03 No.19645601 >>19645210 (OP) # up to two hours

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Scrap Metal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/30/24(Tue) 10:47:08 No.76291601 download.jpg 6 KB JPG >live with people >3:30am >now is the time to do construction work >get electric screw driver start doing construction work Yes this is the perfect time, wait entire day and do this exactly now because now is the perfect time Why? I don't understand

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Krabmutt vs. Planktomutt | /r/Greentext

File (hide): 1708597456109.png (39.88 KB, 598x628, 1708308744874.png)ImgOps ▶Chud 1 hour ago Nº6361585 HO •Billion musts, THE KRUSTY KRIE Chud 49 minutes ago Great thread >Would you push a button that killed all chum on the condition that it also kills all krabby patties, /soy/? Ne6361660 ▶►Chud 1 hour ago Nº6361589 File (hide): 1708597502458.png (47.03 KB, 594x797. 1708210124642.png)ImgOps - Chud 57 minutes ago Nº6361645 File (hide): 1708598907100.webp (161.99 KB, 2100x1500, yuor-billiod-chudbob-must....webp)ImgOps >heck yes TCD at all costs COLLEGE Chum BUCKET >or however i am obsessed with that secret formula or so i say

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We found him, John Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous DOOmp+it /21(Mon) 359459 Pleet) 21 (Sun) 58 427906 >he goes under the name Anonymous, and he talks to himself constantly >it's an entire site dedicated exclusively to him >I need to know what Anonymous thinks of the movies I watch, because it's important to me >he has watched a lot of movies, some could consider him to be some type of movie buff >"hey, Anonymous, what do you think about this movie?" 521 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)18:24:32 No.196526511 >did you hear about this guy on this website called 4chan? >>196526627 # : Anonymous 02/22/24(Thu)18:25:36 No.196526529 Anonymous here. You can tell by my name above this post.

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Anon tries juice fasting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (k0bHq2Ny) 158 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)11:27:52 No.459463006 >hear about juice fasting on /x/, decide to do one for 14 days >near the end of the fast, suddenly get incredibly dizzy, suddenly hard to breathe, can't smell anything but this musty, mold-like smell >feel something 'detach' from the back of my head going down my spine >a few hours later, terrible pain in gut >force myself to do an enema, humiliated >this black, gooey substance with what looks like tendrils comes out >get scared, say f--- this >break the fast >load some p---, degenerate t----- chaser with a huge a--- fetish >feel absolutely disgusted by what im seeing, close immediately and coom to hetero p--- for the first time in ages, still feels wrong What the ABSOLUTE F--- are they hiding from us? : Anonymous (ID: OS0JetdC >>459463006 (OP) # interesting 02/22/24(Thu)11:30:25 No.459463120 >>459463665 # >>459464153 #

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The hero we need | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG Anonymous 37 KB JPG 02/22/24(Thu)13:51:46 No.196516535 >I think today I'll spare mass murders life and in the afternoon, I'll bang my sons, barely legal teenage girlfriend. Keeping none of it a secret ofcourse. 02/22/24(Thu)13:53:11 No.196516569 >>196516535 (OP) # >I'll bang my sons, >>196516714 # >>196517913 #

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What a surprise | /r/Greentext

FREE CANDY 16 KB JPG >Be me, 9yo femanon >Uncle is coming up from Alabama to visit >Don't really know him that well >He stays for dinner, keeps looking at me and smiling >I smile back >After dinner he tells me he wants to show me something in his van >Go to his van and he opens up the trunk >Costume box full of little girl's dresses >He brings it back to the house and we go downstairs >I ask why he has the dresses, he says they used to be his daughter's before she died >I say I'm sorry that his daughter died >He tells me there's something I can do to cheer him up >Tells me to take off my clothes >As a 9yo I just do it >He puts one of the dresses on me and smiles and says "You look just like her." >We go back upstairs and have a great time with my family >10 years later he pays for half my tuition >I love my uncle, greatest man I've ever known >Pic unrelated

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Anon hugs a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)23:43 No.23498497 Replies: >>23498554>>23498585>>23498606 >>23498614>>23498717 >>23499504>>23500632 >>23500935 Ive never told this before. Its spaghetti on my part but I think you guys might like it anyway. >Junior year of HS >1st time in my life ive really liked a girl because small towns whole life >very smart,petite, dark featured girl >just my type >known her for years but I just ignored girls >really hit it off first couple weeks of school >we talk any chance we get >make a habit of meeting her at her locker everyday after school >we talk all the way to her car >after that I say bye and walk a mile home everyday (too lazy to get licence,I was a dumb kid) >this was great for a week >never ever work up courage to make any moves >always cry the walk home because I know she isn't going to like me forever >3 months later >ive tried drugs >ive tried working myself up hours before >many other "techniques" >cant get myself to hug her no matter the preperation >normal day >I walk to her locker >"Sup Camille!" >"Hey anon :)" >I see she has a stack of 4 books >out of nowhere >out of reflex >smart idea >"Hey are those books heavy" >"Nah im al-" >Pick her up by sliding my hands up her thighs up to her waist then bearhugging >as soon as I attempt it I know im too weak >"Did I just feel up her thighs jesus christ that was hot" I think >she is dropping the books all over me as I struggle to pick her up awkwardly >my back is arching >she screams really loud and just keeps repeating no no no no no no >everyone in the hall is looking >im slipping on all this spaghetti >her slip on shoes fall off her feet >here shirt lifted up as my arms are slipping > I decide f--- it >drop her >books all over the ground she tries to pick up her shoes "you suck at this" I say ("DAMAGE CONTROL" "DAMAGE CONTROL" I think) >"I dont want to be picked up okay?" >"You just suck" >I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away >I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away Anonymous 11/11/13(Mon)03:37 No.23500632 File: 1384159040258.jpg-(79 KB, 612x612, 1353184706858.jpg) sounds Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)23:58 No.23498717 File: 1384145897974.jpg-(47 KB, 327x256, 1352785815316.jpg) sounds >I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away >>23498497 >>I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away lol f--- >>23498497 >I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away im laughing so f--- hard at this s--- Anonymous 11/10/13(Sun)23:48 No.23498585 File: 1384145318711.jpg-(21 KB, 208x199, 1360164458519.jpg) sounds >>23498497 >I kick her shoe away from her hand to give me time to run away

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Anon attempted to cook, committed war crime instead | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The Lemon Pepper incident of 2017 >Be me >Cooking for gf >Making stir-fry 02/19/24(Mon)11:53:39 No.20220728 >Never used lemon pepper before in cooking >Decide that I like lemon and I like pepper so it'd be a good idea to use a lot of it >Sprinkle a fuckton onto the chicken while it's cooking >Oh fugg that's powerful >Sneeze a lot >GF asks me what's wrong, assure her everything is under control >Somehow think I can "burn it away" and save the dish increasing the temperature of the pan to the highest level possible >End up creating a zesty Zyklon Chicken gas that suffocates the both of us >No matter how many fans I turn on or windows I open, my eyes and throat are stinging >Gf vomits and cries >We have to leave the house and go eat at jack in the box instead I've literally been pepper sprayed by law enforcement and it wasn't nearly as bad as whatever the f--- I managed to do that day. She's my wife now and I'm still not allowed to cook anything with lemon pepper in it >>20220868 # >>20220881 # >>20221086 # >>20221194 # >>20221503 # >>20223400 # >>20224658 # >>20225204 # >>20226755 # >>20227535 # >>20227682 #

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They're pandering for the roblox community [~_~] | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/21/24(Wed)12:33:52 No.196500086 Anonymous 471f27b347.jpg 211 KB JPG >>196500128 # >>196500159 # >>196500219 # >>196500235 # >196500288 # >>196500328 # >>196500377 # >>196500422 # >>196500460 # >>196500998 # >>196501220 # >>196502400 # >>196502455 # >>196503488 # >>196504197 # >>196504296 # >>196504372 # >>196504907 # Anonymous >>196505679 # >>196505781 # 02/21/24(Wed)14:47:03 No.1965041: >>196506246 # >>196506433 # >>196506575 # >>196506908 # >>196507410 # >>196508968 # >>196509258 # >>196510234 # >>196511367 # >>196511392 # >>196513194 # 02 192 KB JPG >>196500086 #

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