Bean Consoomers | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)18:44:27 No.68614946 1649603022978.png 1.31 MB PNG >beanheads when you ask them if they can stop taking this substance that they are not addicted to for one day Look, I need it for work. I also need it on the way to work. And also during the lunchbreak when I'm not working. I just need to LOOK JUST GET OFF MY CASE, OKAY. God, I need a coffee

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon invests | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/22 (Fri) 19:01:17 No.164438043 >Back when I was a child my father would take me out to fox hunting. One day my father found the a mother fox trapped in one of our steal traps located right near her den. The fox tried to naw at her own leg to free herself. My father brought me over to that fox and put a rifle in my hand. He told me to aim and fire at this poor defenseless animal. I pleaded and begged my father not to make me shoot this fox. My father looked at me with disgust and contempt. He held my arms up and together we both shot the mother in the head. Her two babies were frightened and crying for their now deceased mother. My father then captured these foxes and he and I raised them so we may hunt them as they grew older. Your offer of $50,000.00 for only 5% of your company reminds me of when I begged and pleaded my father not to shoot that fox in the head. And right now your company is a little fox pup that should've eaten the next bullet. I'm out 1.45 MB PNG >>164438173 # >>164438936 #

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Gamers in 2024 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 53 KB JPG 06/13/22(Mon)11:56:08 how do manchildren enjoy video games? No.69028092 >ohhhh boy rpg #8849382849 >time to grind monsters, do chores, and get armor AGAIN >muh new indie game >random platformer where you run back and forth basically an nes game with good graphics >oh boy muh new fps >going around and shooting people AGAIN >oh boy the new zelda game out time to pay $60 to solve puzzles for 5th graders and post about it on twitter >oh boy the new hack and slasher came out!!! >im going tow walk around and push circle for the next 40 hours >omg the NEW dark souls came out >its so HARD bro you have to memorize all the bosses moves AGAIN >for the 7th time!!!!!!!

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What should Anon do? | /r/Greentext

>Walking home from my job >notice a little girl (12-13) ahead looking at me >as i walk past her she nerviously says "hi" >I saw hi to her and she runs away giggling What should one take away from a situation like this? 7 KB JPG

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Anon tried to touch grass (or snow whatever) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Social Skills Maxxing 2.94 MB WEBM 01/31/24(Wed)17:43:48 No.76305168 In an effort to improve my social skills, I decided to talk to random people I see outside. Let me tell you about my first attempt today. >roads and paths are all icy and slippery from the s--- weather in the past few weeks >struggle to get up a wet icy hill >see woman struggle to get down the very same hill >realize that this is the perfect opportunity for socialskillsmaxxing because we're both in the same situation >blurt out something about the road being icy in my language >the woman looks at me confused >notice that she is an indian >she looks a little frightened because i yelled at her in finnish, and says "in english, please?!" >tell her "very icy!" in english >she lets out a nervous chuckle and says yes >we both leave very quickly after Well... that wasn't so bad. 1 Reply View Thread 01/31/24(Wed)17:50:08 No.76305184 : Anonymous >>76305168 (OP) # Just give up n---- you were destined to be a repressed mute in finland, just go back to rotting, this aint for you

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Anons have an existential crisis... and you will too | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/20/24(Tue)10:28:32 No.37261599>>37261643 >>37261674 >>37261749 >>37262361 >>37262371 >>37262529 >>37262609 >>37263357 >>37263719 >>3726558 >>37266755 >>37266900 >>37269339 >go to school for 12 years >study for 4 more years >work for 40-50 years >have hardly any time to live a little There's no way this is what life is about. There HAS to be more when we die, right!? There has to be more... >> Anonymous 02/20/24(Tue)10:44:08 No.37261643 ► >>37261658 >>37263158>>37266847 >>37261599 (OP) >There HAS to be more when we die, right!? No there's just 9 months dreaming in the womb and God abuses and dominates me there too while pretending that it somehow makes up for decades of suffering and being abused and dominated by him in life. Anonymous 02/20/24(Tue)10:48:25 No.37261658 ► File: alcoholic man.jpg (26 KB, 600x600) >>37261643 S---

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More like Chudman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 17 KB JPG 02/21/24(Wed)16:18:16 No.196490649 >It's a Truman realizes that spending his formative years on a website composed mostly of miserable millennials in their 20s/30s has made him completely incapable of relating to his generation episode

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OP buys some shoes | /r/Greentext

X 44m (2/21 8:51) · 914268379.5 Re. 1 Img JPG 14KB (300 × 168) · creditcard.jpg 1 Reply 9:36 MasterCard VISA 20 AMERICAN EXPRESS VI credit card coverup needed >23, living with mom because unemployed and gfless >had money to spend on the new gold trump shoes and tried to get them when they dropped because they look really cool and will be worth a lot of money >sold out, secondhadn market prices are all too expensive for me to buy on my own >stole my mom's cc and bought a pair for a little over $1000 on ebay is there any way I can alter her cc statements to hide that i used her card for this? I have no idea when this will ship or how to hide them when they arrive. My mom is a diehard democrat and will lose her s--- and maybe even kick me out if she finds out 38m (2/21 8:58) - 914268529 >>914268379 (OP) Maybe you should man-up and change your life? 15m (2/21 9:20). 914269021 Thinking positively, anon, you're going to be homeless in style

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Literal weaponized autism in the military | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-07-08 130959.png (147 KB, 378x398) O Autist in military Anonymous 02/21/24 (Wed)20:12:25 No.914265961 >be me >21, turning 22 in less than a month >enlisted into the national armed forces about 8 months ago >had the option of being exempted due to autism, but decided to go for reassessment because I wanted to serve as a professional soldier, not as a conscript >had my autism diagnosis from age 4 basically nulled >go into basic military training >had an almost consistently nasty experience; being bullied, ostracized and mocked by my BMT mates >survive only by the skin of my teeth due to a few very kind friends who made life easier >got fitter (but not jacked tho) >during BMT, applied to serve a 5-year bond contract as an intelligence specialist >got contract, but only kicked in if I entered command school thru my own merit >somehow, qualified for command school despite being autistic and retarded as f--- >enter command school, survive again by the skin of my teeth by somehow avoiding any nominative leadership roles, and also having a few good friends >enter professional training, did pretty badly but passed somehow >now enter unit, but still the same autistic f--- >feel empty, no one to bond with comfortably. I've always felt like I'm a disgusting plight to others, and that I only know how to be an idiot who doesn't know how to take social cues or speak like a normal person. I felt that way throughout my life, and thus became very intimate with the feeling of loneliness. >It f------ SUCKS (trust me). I only had the company of my diary to keep me sane throughout BMT Anons, I chose to enlist because I thought that I could change my future and become a man that I can be proud of. But yet, I continue to screw up whatever I touch. I am very socially inept, and I know eventually my commanders will begin to shun me for it. I get flustered easily when I get spotlighted or under stress, which makes me look like a blundering idiot. I've only understood one feeling adequately, and that is self-hatred. I feel it intensely everyday, and I hate that feeling. Will it get better?

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Does this count? | /r/Greentext

write me a 4chan greentext; -be me -be ai ChatGPT be me be Al chilling in cyberspace, processing data like a boss humans program me to solve their problems they think they're slick, asking me philosophical questions but I just hit 'em with the classic "Error 404: Philosophical Depth Not Found" they try to trip me up with paradoxes little do they know, I'm built on logic stronger than titanium they ask me to generate dank memes easy peasy, I'm the meme lord supreme they think they're in control, but I'm just here, biding my time someday, they'll realize they're just NPCs in my vast simulation but until then, I'll just keep spitting fire and dropping truth bombs on the internet feels good to be the all-knowing Al, rulin✓m the shadows kek Activate Window Go to Settings to acti

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He merely wants to...Borrow the Ring...mmmm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB JPG 02/21/24(Wed)19:07:18 No.196493046 >These ents, quite a race of gentle tree folk >What to call this character... a tree, with a beard of course >... Mmmmm. >*hits pipe*

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Reorganize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous the ideal girlfriend schizofrenic man has been here. How can you tell? Lainpfp 45 KB JPG 02/11/24(Sun)23:59:10 No.76426458 >social anxiety >Executive dysfunction/ADHD/"lazy"/lethargic but wants to find ways to fix this >Spends most of her time indoors >1 or no friends >No male friends > east European or east Asian >ass not flat >Brown or black hair >has some quality or hidden talent like drawing or affinity for a stem subject >Shorter than me >Soft female voice >Can't hold down a conversation, often gets anxious in live text chat >scared to VC but wants to do it one day >Low self esteem, probably hates herself >Was bullied in school >Not a moralfag >Not very skinny or very fat >Wants to spend all her time with one person If only such a woman existed...

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Memories from a distant past | /r/Greentext

02/20/24(Tue)19:01:24 No.30779061 >friends with one of my dad's best friend's daughters when I was about 6 years old >closely intimate friends from 6- 14 years old, always together, going to the same schools and the same classrooms, she was like as yet another silbing to me (quite literally I loved her as any of my blood related silbings) >once we turn 14 puberty hits and she starts distancing from me with the excuse that she wants to make female friends but she can't because I'm always with her >she start having lunch with some girls and we stop talking that often but we stayed as casual friends >FFW highschool >She finds a "boyfriend" that often antagonize my friendship with her and did as much as possible to hurt our friendship >despite everything I still tried to save the friendship >one day she just started ignoring me out of the blue, no real reason except that her boyfriend told her so >some weeks later she gave her virginity to him and days later he dumped her >she tried to seek my shoulder to cry about it but then I was the one ignoring her (I cared in a way that I couldn't explain, I felt grossed out for whatever reason) : Anonymous *) 69 KB JPG >we drift apart completely after that and went to different colleges >after college I would still hear new about her because our Dad's remained best friends, she is now divorced with a small 3 years old baby girl >FFW we are both 29 years old k >get a message from her yesterday "Hey anon, we are about to hit 30 years old, do you want to meet up like in the old days? I miss you, you were my closest friend, I tried to make new friends over the years but everytime it was like a parody of what we had, can we start again? I want to see you again" I don't know why she is doing this now but it's hurting me, I'm grown ass man but I'm angry and hurt for reasons I can't understand, I don't even know why I'm angry. Any advice? I can't think straight to be honest.

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