Anon f---- his bully | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

ANIC 39 KB JPEG > Be me, just a regular 17-year-old dude minding my own business at school. Life's pretty chill, except for one major thorn in my side - this ginger chick in my class who constantly makes my life a living hell. To make matters worse, she's also my friggin' neighbor. This feud between us started back in freakin' elementary school, but to be fair, she's not entirely evil or anything. > Fast forward six months later, and I'm shocked to find out that she's suddenly stopped bullying me. Like, what the heck, right? This has been going on for a whole week now, and I gotta say, it's really throwing me off. But then, out of nowhere, she comes up to me and asks if we can talk in private. I'm hesitant, but I figure, what harm could it do? > So we meet up, and she starts confessing some crazy sh*t to me. Apparently, she's still a freakin' virgin. I'm totally caught off guard, but before I can even respond, she goes and grabs my crotch. Now, I'm a straight dude, so you know what starts happening down there. But I try to keep my cool and play it off like I'm not interested. > But this chick don't take no for an answer. She chuckles and suddenly pulls down my pants and starts going to town on my wang like there's no tomorrow. Let me tell you, it was the best damn b------ of my entire life. I swear, this girl could make a living off of just giving head. > But then, she suddenly stops and pulls down her own pants. And before I can even process what's happening, she's telling me to put it in. So I do, and holy sh*t, it's like nirvana or something. This chick's moans are friggin' adorable, man. And before I know it, I'm bustin' a nut like there's no tomorrow. > But then she hits me with the real shocker - she tells me to keep my freakin' mouth shut about all of this. Of course, I agree, 'cause I'm not a total douchebag. But now, this girl won't leave me alone. She's constantly flirting with me and making all these freaky sex jokes. And I gotta say, I ain't even mad about it. Who knew that my arch-nemesis could also be the girl of my dreams?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon sets the mood | /r/Greentext

File: cancer.png (184 KB, 768x859) IT'S OVER I f----- up bros Anonymous 02/12/24(Mon)19:26:57 No.30734881 >be me >35 y/o fat f--- virgin >finally musters up the courage to invite a h----- to my house >she is getting undressed and I offer to put on some music >I offered this because I wanted to feel more confident and was too embarrassed to tell her that >thankfully she agrees without questioning me and says it will help set the mood >I start playing a kets4eki song snippet on repeat >she looks at me with disgust and 5 seconds later bursts out laughing >gives me back my money and leaves >blocks my number 0:03 / 0:16 Can someone please tell me what the f--- I did wrong? They play songs like that in the movies all the time during sex scenes. The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHN66Aq1-QY [Remove] rock your body ft ayesha pitched a a kets4eki - rock your body ft. Ayesha Erotica [snippet] @ayeshaonline69 137 2:13 CC Share a YouTube D

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Anon gives up on women | /r/Greentext

File: 1707093096865617.jpg (49 KB, 680x678) >> I've paid taxes for things you people wouldn't believe Giving up on women had freed me Anonymous (ID:+jx7enBE No.458462281 >>458463719 >>458463855 02/12/24(Mon)19:10:38 >>458462971 >>458463300 >>458463658 >be me, mid-20s >used to suck at talking to girls >would do anything to get a girl >nowadays I got fit, decent career and am pretty solid at talking to them >plenty have flirted with me >just don't like girls my age >can't stand them if they're social media obsessed rights movement loving retards >genuinely see most of them as losers I'm a little happy that I don't feel a need for them to be happy in my life but it's still a little annoying that now I don't even want a gf. Does anyone else feel this way? Anonymous (ID: xYpday7U) 02/12/24 (Mon)19:14:35 No.458462528 At first I was going to make fun, but I genuinely get it

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Anon is an accomplished mother | /r/Greentext

File: IMG-20240203-WA0000.jpg (93 KB, 900x464) The monkeys were so strongly attached to their surrogate mothers that the Harlows devised a second series of dolls to test how the infants would respond to an actively rejecting mother. The various "monster mothers" blasted their infants with compressed air, shook so violently that the babies' teeth chattered, and catapulted the clutching infants away. The most malicious of the dolls had brass spikes in its chest, which would protrude without warning and stab the infant. The pri- mates cried, screamed, rocked, and clasped themselves in response to these hostile acts, but so hungered for their mothers' love they rushed back to the dolls and clung even more tenaciously as soon as the surro- gates returned to "normal." The only mother the infants categorically rejected was a doll that literally had ice water coursing through its veins. Anonymous 02/12/24(Mon)18:07:36 No.16023565 >>16023920 >Talk to physicists about the other STEM departments >"They are each good at their specific topic, blah blah blah" >Talk to chemists about the other STEM departments >"They are each good at their specific topics, blah, blah, blah >Engineering, Math, Comp.Sci, etc, there is always mutual support >Lots of accomplishments >Talk to economists about the other soft sciences >"Those assholes don't know anything" >Talk to historians about the other soft sciences >"Those assholes don't know anything" >Every humanities department hates the others >No accomplishments Is it really this simple?

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kinda true though | /r/Greentext

File: paul.png (44 KB, 498x498) the game Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:24:22 No.913853736 >Be rich douchebag >have youtube channel full of 10 year olds >visit japan, be very disrespectful towards those there, damaging the reputation of americans >visit japan's suicide forest and record, edit and publish a video of a man's dead body >>913853784 >media goes wild >people forget about it, you start a popular energy drink company and you get to keep your career how tf does this dude still have a career as a content creator? if i did this s--- id be thrown in jail >> Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:25:48 No.913853784 >> Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:27:03 No.913853831 >> Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:28:23 No.913853879 Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:29:10 No.913853902 >> Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:30:07 No.913853936 >> Anonymous 02/13/24(Tue)00:34:03 No.913854083

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Barely holding on | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB PNG 2/12/2024,4:48:25 PM > Walking into 7/11 > See delivery guy holding boxes walking up to door > Hold open door > He walks in and looks at me No.85283259 > "F--- you" > mfw

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Anon has a question about women | /r/Greentext

Why are women online so obsessed with virtue signalling? >the majority of palestine flags I see on twitter are from women >I see a lot more "she/her"s than "he/him"s >the hammers and sickles are also mostly women, although the gender ratio is more balanced >a lot more women putting their mental illnesses on the bios than men, almost like they're wearing them as a badge of honor >the boycott campaigns there regarding alleged companies related to Israel (which thankfully never work) are all done by 15-19 yo girls >in general, it feels like way more women are activists than men Why are they so obsessed with virtue signalling? Surely there's some psychological theory, maybe even a biological one, but I just can't put it into words. Thoughts?

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Anon is a Human Resources report waiting to happen | /r/Greentext

mommy.jpg 149 KB JPG >every f------ 18 year old at my job wearing yoga pants clearly trying to get an easy paycheck or move up >literally if they bend over the pants squeezes there ass to the side OPENING there ass cheeks to you >if i even dare look for more than a few seconds HR's gonna contact me >one dude already got fired because he bumped into one of these women straight out of HS by accident and she "felt" something >cammy now jesus christ help me

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Anon redpills his future stepdad | /r/Greentext

File: MV5BNTVIMGEwNDYtMG12Yi00M(...).jpg (330 KB, 1275x1875) Weae pated me wrong enemy." -General Cobby & Patton 1945 CTORS WRITE THE HISTORY BOURS EUROPA The Last Battle w walters have sado m ho in of olime "Pure united with that will bring the stronyd of me to p and the weakest of men to WAKE UPI Europa TheLastBattle.net How I redpilled my stepdad on da bankers Anonymous (ID: 0/UFWU83) 02/12/24 (Mon)10:10:40 No.458415906 >>458416103 >be me >parents divorced since 2012 >mom tries her best to be a good mother >ffw to last year >now that I'm older she's obviously been looking for a partner to fill the void left by dad who she loved a lot before he cheated >meets some (very mildly) famous ex-footballer from our country online >they get to know each other >ffw to December 2023 >he's coming over so this is the first time I'm seeing him >he's a very chill dude actually >we start talking interests, gfs, school, job all that crap >we hit it off even though I'm a bit reserved >we somehow end up on the topic of history >hellyeah.png >he spews the usual stuff taught in schools and gives his own opinions on the events and figures from various times >I then ask him what he thinks about the communist revolution >dunno.jpeg >time_to_shine.mp4 >I start basically recapping "Europa: The Last Battle" >who started the revolution, the history of the bankers, EVERYTHING... >he's silent >while listening to me ramble he gives approving nods here and there >I finish the recap >silence.jpg >decided he stayed enough and leaves They're still together surprisingly although I think that's awesome. So that's basically how I redpilled my (future?) step-dad on the bankers Anonymous (ID: zOxbSHGM 02/12/24(Mon)10:12:52 No.458416103 >>458415906 (OP) >honey, i think your son has a few screws loose

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Anon enters the workforce | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous First day at work 02/13/24(Tue)01:04:45 No.76438044 After years of neetdom, i started looking again for a job and after months got one in a warehouse. Today was my first day. >have to wake up at 6am >only get 3hours sleep >half of workers are foreigner >Boss looks me deep in the eyes and talks about how you get instanly fired if you steal something, twice. >There are no lockers, you have to stow your untensil somewhere in the warehouse. 195 KB JPG >Toilette is permanently closed, have to go into the office to get the key >Work the whole day in dangerous warehouse, they didnt even provide me safety shoes, even tho its mandatory >Break is only half an hour, no supermarkets or restaurants in the distance >extrovert, low inhib coworkers >Coworker are rude and ask me for help, even in my break when im drinking my coffee. >Come home demoralized, only get content again after imagine about quiting work. I cant keep up like this, This is worse than Prison.

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I'm haunted here, as I sit and forever wait. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous BORN TO FEEL JPG | 52.75 KB Monday 2024-02-12 17:00:02 about an hour ago 76436056 >Be ugly >Can't be in a loving romantic relationship with a female >Realise true love and a loyal virgin girl who would be with me forever doesn't exist because they are all w----- for Chad >Get p----- off and think about having meaningless casual sex >Realise I need to be Chad to get that too >Mfw Chad gets both casual sex and a loving family in the end >Feel nothing anymore : Demoralised beyond belief into the 6th dimension. I am so passive I might as well be a ghost.

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Don't try staring in the mirror | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76435889 ******** JPG | 6.91 KB Monday 2024-02-12 16:35:28 2 hours ago >have horrible acne since high school >try multiple skincare routines >get actual medication for my acne >spend copious amounts of money on skincare product b------- throughout the years >visit my parents on christmas and forget to bring any kind of soap >use an old bottle of head and shoulders for everything >"oh hey anon your acne's looking better" >keep using head and shoulders on my face for the lulz >mfw immediate results the skincare industry is the modern equivalent of snake oil

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First post best post | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Nothing beats a jelly-filled donut 47 KB JPG 02/12/24(Mon)11:32:02 No.76432964 >awake for 20 hours after sleeping 4 >muscle fatigue all over >so exhausted that I'm stuttering nonstop >literally f------ drooling >collapse on floor >start crying >incoherently ramble abput how s----- of a person I am >gf physically drags me onto bed >puts me in fetal position >sticks pill under my tongue >shoves pacifier in my mouth >curls up around me >strokes my hair >world starts fading away >no more thoughts >head empty >existence turns into pure comfort >fall asleep >wake up 12 hours later feeling like I own the world itself I don't know what I did to deserve this woman, but I am the luckiest f------ girl in the world 02/12/24(Mon)11:35:08 No.76432983 : Anonymous >>76432964 (OP) # Happy for you anon. Also f--- you.

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