Anon shakes it | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

17 KB JPG >>45160329 (OP) # >me, at uni >enter the bathroom >open the first booth i see >see teacher s------- there >not being prepared for it, i autistically stare at him >he silently raises his hand, as in, "close the door you imbecile" >i shake it

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon is delusional | /r/Greentext

Kondición pokytis of H Ch >>73554837 (OP) Aspirin is the closest thing to a miracle pill and the most potent lifespan extending compound. Vitamin D is the most critical nutrient in regulating the immune system. In the old days heliotherapy (sunlight) was commonly recommended for treating most illnesses and skin diseases. Ever since I've started supplementing Vit D3 I haven't gotten sick once in over 4 years. And I used to get sick a lot as a kid.

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>37177988 # >They are just a reflection of what you've seen the day before Not OP but how did some futa facefuck me in a dream if I didn't look at any of that p--- in those two days? Was it because I was having bad allergies? 02/10/24(Sat)21:14:32 No.37180190 >>37180785 #

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>no healer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous h 02/11/24(Sun)07:17:54 No.196153626 1707537684613701.jpg 82 KB JPG >Top row >warrior, warrior larping as a wizard, ranger (warrior subclass), warrior >Bottom row >warrior, warrior, warrior, warrior, warrior >HERE'S YOUR DIVERSE FANTASY PARTY BRO Jesus christ Tolkien...

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Everyone grieves in their own way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me, 15, and father dies randomly and unexpectedly 02/11/24(Sun)01:24:21 No.913753731 >mom, 42, could not handle his death >family comes to help >mother has to quit her job because she literally can't get out of her room most days >me has to start doing everything for myself >washing clothes, cooking meals, getting to school, etc. start to become a zombie >mother starts drinking >come home >"Anon's father? Is that you?" >"No, just me mom" >"You look so much like your father Anon." >later that evening hear mother being sick >go to help >help her into bed >"Can you just stay here awhile with me?" >"Okay mom" >both of us fall asleep >wake up and my mom is going to town on my d--- >mother calling me by father's name going off about how much she misses me >frozen and get blown to completion >she breaks down crying when it is over >this start a pattern >mom would get drunk, come into my room or get me into her room and f--- me while calling me by father's name >go along with it because I think it will help >eventually family moves in to help us, mother goes to get clean >mother never says anything about it >vaguely hint at it, she doesn't seem to recall what she did Cut to ten years later >out to dinner with mother >she has a little too much wine >drop her off at her house, she asks if I have to go back to my place >"You sure you don't want to come inside? We can have fun like we use to?" >mom pats my crotch >"My gf will be back soon, I can't" lie >"..." she just keeps patting >"Sorry, I can't mom." >"I understand." >mom gets out >"You were better than your father." Cut to now: >recently single >horny as s--- >do I dare follow through? >>913753969 #

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Anon had the best dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I had the best dad 285 KB JPG 12/15/18(Sat)19:08:31 No.49862882 > Be me > Years ago. Still in womb. > Hear dad whispering nice poems. > Gonnabeagoodlife.mp3 > Hear dad leave for work. > Hear mom invite over 'Tyrone' > Black hose starts knocking against my head. > Hear dad come back and cry. > Hear mom beg for forgiveness. > Says he's staying for me. > mfw I realize this wonderful man is going to get stuck with this thot because of me. > Cant let that happen. > Decide to poison her toth bloodstream > Gonnatakeyoudownwithme.divx > Hear dad in hospital say goodbye to me and mom. > Hear moms heart beat stop before mine does. Goodbye dad. You deserve a better life. 4 Replies View Thread

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Anon doesn't understand | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/14(Mon)13:38:27 No.49751148 >>49751212 >>49750349 Anonymous 10/20/14(Mon)13:08:40 No.49750349 >>49751148 File:_.jpg (43 KB, 500x338) How f----- up do you have to be to be wearing a pink shirt in an infected biohazard area? >You guys are idiots, the virus is gonna be looking for guys in biohazard suits

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Anon writes gay erotica | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)23:17:44 No.913749127 >be closet bifag >have a gf who likes to withhold sex for weeks at a time as a manipulation tactic >she also has a gay little brother >so during one of our many stupid fights, I end up f------ her brother >mainly did it to spite her 34 KB JPG >but h-------- the sex with her little bro was amazing >better than she was, tbh >so I kept hooking up with the guy >even after me and my gf broke up, I kept meeting her brother in secret >eventually got spooked when I realized I was starting to catch legit feelings for him

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Anon is a pedophile | /r/Greentext

File: 6e42aa4fb4a78df4e93376b1d(...).jpg (78 KB, 548x894) O Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)17:17:48 No.913749132 [Reply] Why is she so attractive? Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)17:27:48 No.913749573 ► >>913749647 because you are a n----- p-------- Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)17:29:22 No.913749647 >>913749573 Ah. Fair point. Thank you, sir.

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Blue screen of death. | /r/Greentext

WEBM | 2.92 MB Saturday 2024-02-10 21:52:59 27 minutes ago I was weak >need to buy usb cable to connect gamepad to PC and play vidya >go to phone store on my way home so I don't need to go out afterwards >on my way there repeat to myself "I'm just going to look at the prices, I can't afford an expensive cable so I'll just ask if they got any, what price is it, say thanks and leave" >get there and this petite giga stacy with the most striking blue eyes and fake tan makeup on her cheeks (and only on her cheek area) greets me and smiles at me despite being busy with a previous customer >say I need a cable for my phone but it's a previous generation so it's an old kind of cable >says "I know just what you are looking for" >shows me the cable and says it's $XX >"oh okay that's not too expensive sure I'll take it, can you repeat the price?" >turns out I misunderstood the price and it's actually 10 times what I thought it was but she is already packing it and preparing to receive my money >I don't want to seem like a retard in front of the cutest girl I've seen in the longest time so I just suck it up and end up buying it >she says thank you have a nice weekend! >th-thank you.. >walk back home half the time smiling because she was so cute and nice and sulking the other half because I didn't have that kind of money and now I'll have to eat plain rice for the rest of the month I was week bros I'm sorry, what punishment should I cast upon myself? Have you guys had any moments of weakness like mine?

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M̻̱̖̳̣̭̙͍̗̼̎͂̃̄̍͗̆̄̈́̒ ũ̟̟̙̬̫̱̣̭̖͎͂́ͮ͒͛̂ͩ̚ r̫̯̺̺̗͕̳͉̱̙͋̔͊ͨ̊ͫ̒̂͗̐̓ͅ i͇͎̦̰͙̯̭̥̠̩̮̜̇̓͐͑̿͂͗͂̽͒̓ͪ ǎ͙̹͍̯͈̼̫͓̮͚̹̭̓̿ͣ́̋ͪͤ͛̆ͬ͌ t i͇͎̦̰͙̯̭̥̠̩̮̜̇̓͐͑̿͂͗͂̽͒̓ͪ c̩̗̣͕̪̜̭̞͙̣̼̾͛̎ͩͩ͑̀̇̓̓ͪ ͒ͣͩ̆̓ͦ̔ͣͭ̚a̮̥̪̠̱͙̻ͪ̀ͭ̿̒ͩ̒ c̽͌̆̾́̑ iͤ͐̄ ḏ͚̰͖̱̙̙̝ | /r/Greentext

File: stinks.png (611 KB, 674x936) Anonymous 01/21/24(Sun)07:49:49 No.2746328 [Reply] Can somebody identify what he's pouring? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcOAKbudXXc [Embed] 253 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)04:29:10 No.2756673 Muratic acid Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)05:31:06 No. 2756691 Muratic acid Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)09:20:35 No. 2756732 Muratic acid ☐ Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)10:39:01 No.2756765 Muratic acid Anonymous 02/10/24(Sat)12:56:42 No.2756829

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Anon goons | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>913744210 >stroke d--- >start to c-- >j--- huge load >enter post nut high >take deep breath 02/10/24(Sat)21:14:36 No.913744551 (OP) # >whisper to self "I hate jews" Sounds legit.

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Burger Tech | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LzVbhrX5 02/10/24(Sat)12:19:47 No.458201334 >>458200570 (OP) # >>458200739 # It's just f------ McDonald's. You f------ assholes stole all of our McTech and you WILL pay for that. If it wasn't for the fact McDonald's abandoned their eastern European logistics network and factories and let you retards take it over you'd still be 50 years behind as in burger tech. >>458201434 # >>458202228 # >>458202802 # >>458202874 # >>458203503 # >>458203772 # >>458206859 # >>458214279 # >>458214580 # Anonymous (ID: ZLgih0Yr 5 KB JPG 02/10/24(Sat)14:50:24 No.458214580 >>458201334 # >burger tech

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