Anon discovers why ninjas aren't cool | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anonymous 277 KB PNG 01/28/24(Sun)19:11:01 No.76278936 >today we're gonna talk about why you can't talk to women >the reason you can't talk to women is because you haven't been taught how to talk to women! >society tells us "dude just talk to women" but we've never learned how to actually talk to women, so of course we don't know how to talk to women >anyway the yogis came up with this term called "dikcok" Why do people watch this guy again?

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: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 12/13/23(Wed)16:49:59 No.910765317 Oh boy, I sure am enjoying playing my favorite game, Cyberpunk 2077! > Kiss Panam > Watch my character get more action than I've had in the past 18 months. The loneliness is getting unbearable. I think I've forgotten what it feels like to kiss. 4 Replies >>910766973 # View Thread : Anonymous >>910765317 (OP) # 18 months .... wooooooaaaaaah zomg thats like forever or something....right..... 12/13/23(Wed)17:12:35 No.910765816

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45 KB JPG >Gf tries starting a huge argument with me on my birthday >At some point something just clicks in my brain >Hang up the phone and block her on everything >Enjoy the rest of the day with my family What is the name of this feeling?

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File: comdlpng6970006.jpg (47 KB, 350x338) how do I live with myself anymore? Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)13:45:49 No.30645053 >be me >incel >therapist suggests I volunteer with the less fortunate to help me contextualize just how good my life is and hopefully improve my self esteem so I stop pitying myself >therapist signs me up for adult mentor volunteer for group home for retards >most of them have physical disabilities ontop of mental disabilities >meet dave >he looks like the stereotype of someone with down syndrome but with the added factor of him being a burn victim and having a stutter >volunteer there for a few weeks when dave comes up >hey anon h-how c...c...come you don't have a wife? >explain i havent found any woman interested in me >well what about a girlfriend? wh-when w-was the last time you had a gf? >explain to him i never had a gf before >wow anon I've g...g..gotten p---- like 100 times before. I get my d--- wet every week are you r-really saying you never got laid before? >tfw when a literal retarded mongoloid is roasting you for being a virgin

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: Anonymous 01/26/24(Fri)11:33:16 No.195585025 Oeec9d2a311b2ec52327029fb059ad5bb669b856_hq.jpg 24 KB JPG >You are expelled from Hogwarts for using magic in front of a muggle. Said the talking, floating envelope in front of 3 muggles. >>195585152 # >>195588856 # : Anonymous >>195585025 (OP) # Ok but I would though. Just imagine some bratty goth origami lips trying to scold you while gagging on your c---. 01/26/24(Fri)11:35:37 No.195585125

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: Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)13:50:57 No.76275661 >3 white friends constantly s--- on the poojeet. the Bic BANG >Parents s--- on him for possibly THEORY 22 KB JPG being a f--. >Parents frequently give him mail- order brides from shitndia. >Brides leave him once it's clear he's a beta f--. >Openly thirsts after his friends wives/gf. >By the end of the show the 3 white friends are married and have successful careers. >The poojeet remains single and lives in a friends garage. What did the writers mean by this?

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Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)20:19:50 No.913079589 33 KB JPG >feelsbad.png >be me >11 y/o >fat 15 year old highschooler (looks like eric cartman) asks me to come to his house >say yeah >ask mom >mom says no 4 years later >realize i was almost r---- >mfw

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: Anonymous 172 KB PNG 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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: Anonymous 459 KB JPG 01/28/24(Sun)23:58:27 No.665257045 >>665256781 # >Half of the new SCPs are just queer reality benders with gender dysphoria >The foundation spent a s--- ton of resources sucking their d--- Why don't they just make clef decommisson them? Isn't that literally half of his job?

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Miguel Mendonca >Move to Metropolis >Nice place, sun feels good >Actually enjoy being outside for once >Occasionally see Superman fly over head >I wave >He waves back >Feel safe >Sitting on park bench outside my building >See Superman fight giant Lexcorp robot >Wonder how Lex Luthor hasn't been jailed yet >Superman picks up car >Yeets it at Lex bot Replies >Misses >Watch 3,000 lbs of steel fly through my living room window >Mfw did not have renters insurance on Thu Like Reply 131 MAC Berlinda McBerlin Pls post the mfw image for clarity on Thu Like Reply 1 Miguel Mendonca on Thu Write a reply... Like Reply 10 D GIF a Rules

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: Anonymous 01/27/24(Sat)13:53:20 No.665126605 blackhole.png 137 KB PNG >Take a picture of an acutal black f------ hole in like late 2019. >World od's on crazy pills like a month later What did it mean by this? >>665126979 # >>665127457 # >>665137492 # >>665139173 # >>665139771 # >>665141050 # >>665143258 #

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