Anon fumbles his crush | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: MonkaSSS_1_1.jpg (61 KB, 675x675) Crush knows I am insane 4channer Anonymous 01/14/24(Sun)07:34:30 No.76109386 >Be me >Write insane, long, schizo posts on 4chan >Use it to vent thoughs I can't say in public >Also have a phone chat with only myself >Use it to write and plan the schizoid posts before posting them on 4chan >Regularly delete all the phone chats, and group phone chats to save space >I also regularly chat with Qt3.14 who is a close friend >One day, she stops responding me >Now I think I might have written and sent her one of the schizo posts >Can't know, I emptied all chats >Goddamn, I f----- up >Revealed power level to grill TL;DR: Crush now probably knows I'm insane 4chan poster, now ghosted me

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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He is rich and an American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: EHK66rFo Z5:24:50 01/14/24(Sun) 04:09:33 No.19379905 HRBEAST BALLISTIC'S TEAM CONTRACT 06904200/470365 HIGH EXPLOSIVES DANGEROUS AST Screenshot (303).png 784 KB PNG >Hello, yes i would like to purchase 20 Rounds of Tank ammunition, 100 crates of TNT and 10.000 Gallons of Gasoline >What? Noo. Why the f--- would you need that? >but its for a Mr.Beast Video >oooohhhhhh.... well in that case So just any retard with a youtube channel can own s--- like this?

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anon likes family guy too much | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Family guy 35 KB JPG 07/30/22(Sat)11:23:12 No.882982375 >be me >10 years old >Watching family guy on Mama's TV >Brian Griffin makes a funny alcohol joke >I start choking on my own snot and have to go to the hospital >Mom bans me from family guy >I cry every night begging for her to let me continue watching >I make a plan >I create a controlled family and burn down the tree in the backyard that was there in remembrance of my grandpa >Pretend it just happened to start >Moms attention goes to the fire >Gives me enough time to sneak past and into her room and watch 1 (one) episode of family guy It was worth it.

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Anon gets assaulted by a Pokemon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/23/22(Tue)20:21:43 No.51281561 Pokemon-Fan-Makes-Rocky-Road-Geodude-Chocolate.jpg 134 KB JPG >go hiking >accidentally step on Geodude, mistaking it for a regular rock >get slugged like an MMA fighter ITT post bad encounters you've had with Pokémon

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He didn't say stop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I wish I was a normie 01/14/24(Sun)05:20:10 No.76101547 25 KB JPG >Me and my dad were drinking today >He asked me to refill his glass from one of his wine bottles >Told my dad to say "stop" when he felt it was enough in his glass >"I think that's enough, hey, HEY WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING YOU RETARD" >I countinued pouring because he didn't say stop, most if not all of the wine went onto the carpet. >"That was a 290USD bottle you absolute freak, I wish you were never born!" >That carpet was like 90USD on IKEA >"DO YOU THINK THE CARPET WAS THE PROBLEM... GOD... F---!" >"Do you think it was easy for me raising a son like you, an absolute nobody, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE I AM STUCK WITH YOU" I am kinda paraphrasing because I am not natively English speaking, but I hope you get the gist of it. I love my dad but I think he is frustrated that I am not neurotypical, I need some help with how to apologize to him. I know the question might come but I am 24yo, turning 25 in June.

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There's something inside you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Drive 23 KB JPG Anonymous >"there's something inside you" >pic very related

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Japan sisters..... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 KB JPG 01/14/24(Sun)02:11:41 No.24567970 >be me >indian in japan >black friend says japanese women are "super easy" >try them >they are actually easy >manage to get in the bed on the 2nd date You don't even need to be good looking. just be a fun person to be around with and they're literally ready to marry you and have kids. This made me wonder just why their birth rate is so low. Are native j-- men really that cucked because of 2D women?

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Anon is a dumbass | /r/Greentext

#1, No. 912346459 5 minutes ago images (2) JPG 640x480 9.1 kB >be me >talk to girl I met on dating app >we hit it off, talk for a few weeks lots in common >lives close by says she's shy when I ask her on first date >tell her it's fine if she just wants to get comfortable with me first >keep texting she then gives me her number move to talking on the phone and video calls >she finally proposes a date to get coffee in a week >I accept >we keep texting but as I'm working and got other s--- on I have to limit it to short convostaions during the day >be yesterday she texts me saying she can't wait to meet me >be today she texts me she's sick and can't make it >I tell her if she's not interested it's fine I just don't like people wasting my time >she doesn't reply >I call her >we talk for about 20mins how she thinks I'm talking to other women and she thinks I'm not interested in her and she's sorry for wasting my time and tells me I should find someone else because she thinks I'm to professional and she's to childish and doesn't know what she wants >I hang up the phone while she keeps talking Now I feel like complete s--- /b/ I really liked this girl but after the phone call she blocked me because I hanged up on her is there anything I can do that will maybe give me a 2nd chance I know she hasn't blocked my actual number I'm trying my hardest to not call her. Should I just move on?

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Anon just wanted some beans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/24 (Sun)07:37:36 No.12963927 Random story time >two decades ago >be 10 >want some beans >have genius idea >put canned Heinz beans in microwave >s--- explodes >ohfuckfuck >try to clean up the mess but everything just gets more messy >beans are even on the floor now >hear mom coming home >ohshit >try to leave the kitchen but slip on beans >mom hears the noise comes in >sees me on the floor covered in beans, crying >asks what the hell happened >tell her the beans exploded in the microwave >stares at me for a good ten seconds then leaves the kitchen I just wanted to eat some beans

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chances are anon f*cked up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/24(Sun)01:58:34 No.912336499 >be me, 23 >want gf >girls my age mostly date older guys >younger girls are still in high school >say f--- it go for older woman >get matched with 48 yo cougar on dating app >we f--- on first date >fast forward a few weeks >we are in a relationship >birthday comes >"a little something I got you :)" >she bought me new sneakers >"you said you needed new sneakers for bedminton, hope you like them" >"yeah, these are awesome, thanks a lot, mom" >realized a nanosecond later what I just said >she pretends she didnt hear it >no sex that night >two weeks passed, when I ask her if she wants to go to have dinner she says she is busy, or ill, or has to work late I f----- up, didnt I

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/fit/bro shows his power level in public | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I think I'm retarded /b/ 70 KB JPG 01/14/24(Sun) 08:34:12 No.912332799 >be me >7/10 Liftcel >go to grocery store for meals and supps >go down aisle >Can't find supplement I need >Ask male attendant where it might be >Points me to femoid stocker >6.5/10 fake blonde >She's cute >Ask her for assistance >She checks >"Sorry anon, I don't think we have it" >She's clearly checking me out >Feel a little flustered >"Alright, thank you femoid" >Walks off and continues shopping I feel retarded. Maybe I am. Pic also related.

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Anon is onto her | /r/Greentext

ove.png (141 KB, 456x316) >w-- >didnt hear enter bc gaming >ask her what shes doing in my room so often >she asks if ive ever had lewd thoughts about her >say no >yell at her for acting weird >she kisses me >she really forcefully kisses me >my mom walks in at that moment O im not into her i swear Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat) 16:25:20 No.76101626 ► >be me >27 >my little sister is 22 >one time growing up i caught her watching brother hentai >ff to yesterday >she walked into my room while i was raging at cs2, and she said it was cute when i was angry >confused.jpg >ff to today >im gaming >she came into my room and kissed me on the back of myhead >"what are you yelling about, anon" >she sees us kissing >starts crying says we are terrible kids >sister starts yelling at her >starts furiously trying to kiss me more in front of her >mfw is it bad that i wanna f--- my sister?

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anon gets grounded for racist remark | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/24(Sun)00:11:30 No.194900974 ??? ??? >2015 >new neighbours, asian family >befriend neighbour boy >fast forward a few years >we are teens >parents tell him he was adopted >he tells me, I tell parents >they are really surprised >"at first I thought he was joking, he does look a lot like his parents" >get grounded because it's racist to say asians all look the same >mfw

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