OP’s Coworker Thirsty | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)12:44:31 No.852461236 >be me 20 >at work >been flirting with 45 y/o milf constantly >she texts me whilst im infront of her in a room of people >"take my bottle, go pee in it, and hand it to me > do so > she drinks it in front of everyone whilst making eye contact with me. >h-------- do you believe my story? cos i swear to you this happened today.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Femanon’s day at work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous toomuchautism.help >be me femtedl touchstarved >raging femcel, living in my moms garage bc free rent >work at mall >shittyjob.sadness touchtstarved femicel 01/13/24(Sat) 18:08:41 No.76102146 24 KB PNG >regular customer at the mall we call G says he likes my hair >laugh.mp3 >explain that I haven't washed it in a while and it's probably really gross (STUPID STUPID AUTISM) >he laughs >success.smile >he suddenly looks really nervous >ohno.scared >he awkwardly asks if he can smell it. >fuckingsoakedinstantly.aaa >puts his arms around me briefly and smells it >says it smells nice >mfw >gives me his number >he stays and chats with coworkers for a minute >he leaves >fearcryingontheinside.mp3 what do i text him???? i am so scared.... what the f--- do i do what the f--- do i do. do i text G???

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Anon wishes to undo it all | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/12/24(Fri)03:12:56 No.912225257 >>912225378 File: s540X19NdX.jpg (45 KB, 1066x1066) >be me >horny 17 year old >have no girlfriend or any kind of boyfriend free girl >get idea >get a spare hoodie >stuff my thick bed covers inside it (the ones you sleep under) >manipulate it so some of it can go through sleeves to imitate arms >get some to go into where the head would be >put hood up >i now have a girlfriend with no legs and an exposed bottom >get another idea >make a small hole in the bottom >it is now a vagina >try f------ said "vagina" >don't feel anything >eventually realize what I've done once horniness wears off >undo everything >lie under my bed covers >mfw i made a fake girlfriend >mfw i tried to f--- my own bed covers

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Anon done goofed | /r/Greentext

File: ezgif-7-ecf31d6cc9.jpg (32 KB, 628x607) I walked in on my daughter naked and now she dosen't want to talk to me Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)23:56:13 No.912144515 ► >be me >father >have 11 year old daughter >love her very much >starts to get more conscious and insecure about her changing body >try to support her as much as possible >one evening >wake up from a nap >feel like s--- >feel a lot hornier than usual >forget that i was sleeping in just my boxers >head to bathroom to j------- >unwillingly go to my daughter's room >door's unlocked >walk in >see my daughter butt naked dropping her towel >she just standing there petrified and silent >get a good glimpse of her t---, p----, and even some of her ass >get almost instant boner that's visible because of my boxers >tired self thinks nothing of it >reach in my boxers to j------- >"EEEEKKK!!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" >wake up >realize what i'm doing >dash out of her room as fast as possible >return to the master bedroom in a cold sweat >wtfjusthappened.webp >after a while i put some clothes on and go to her door >it's locked >hear her crying like crazy saying "daddy saw me naked, daddy saw me naked" over and over again >knock on door >she gets a panic attack >try to apologize to her >doesn't accept my apology >tells me to go away >feelsbadman.png What the f--- do I do anons? I don't want to throw my relationship with away over a stupid incident. How do I rectify things with her? Also before you ask, yes she was really hot.

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The app is getting worse and worse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The f--- happened to youtube OH, I HATE THIS 19 KB JPG 01/13/24(Sat)23:14:40 No.76098019 >want to watch video on phone >open youtube >scroll >ad >community post by someone I don't care about >youtube shorts >another community post that is just 2017 twitter memes >another ad >more youtube shorts Where the f--- are my videos youtube

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I don't understand half of these words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ambatukam has bonded my little(...) 518 KB PNG 01/12/24(Fri)21:40:17 No.76085926 >be me, 23 yo >live in Illinois and its snowing like hell out here >little bro is 15, and his highschool got the day off in physical school because of it >he has to attend an online class today >he goes to the kitchen and we start talking >tells me about the online school >suddenly think of zoom bombing >me: "have you ever been zoom bombed?" >little bro: "no" >tell him I've seen so many vids of zoom bombs and we're both smiling >suddenly ambatukam zoom bomb memes pop up in my head >suddenly start laughing my ass off >hesitate to ask him if he knows about it >fuckit.png >ask him if he knows about the ambatukam memes >he smiles and says yeah >i then tell him about a meme of him boarding a japanese airplane and saying, "i'm about to blow" >he starts laughing >mfw turns out my 15 year old little brother may be as much of a degenerate as I am

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Anon has problems with Steam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Epic games aint that bad EPIC GAMES 01/13/24(Sat)17:26:15 No.663606770 >be me > wants to download Forza from Steam > Estimated download time is 3 f------ days and 5 mbit/s download speed > Even tho im Germanon this is f------ ridiculous! > check download Speed. It's normal. > Shuts off every device that could use 9 KB JPG bandwith. Nothing. > Restart PC and router. > Still doesnt work. > Clear steam caches change download region. > Download still ass. > Ponder a bit and reinstall steam and restart PC again. > Download still ass, W--! > Finally check if Epic Launcher suffers the same. > Download Remnants of Ashes in lightspeed, HOW?! > Check Steam again. > It f------ Works! How TF did Epic kick Steams ass?

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Anon almost made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)11:45:57 No.663570680 Shadowheart approves. 4 bis NERF THIS! & Screenshot_20240105_214130_Photos~2.jpg 311 KB JPG >driving behind a genuine GIRL GAMER >realize later that if I'd rear-ended her we would have had to exchange numbers F--- bros I blew it.

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Anon is probably 13 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: L+SvcK40) Ameritards ruined the left 01/13/24(Sat)05:39:05 No.19376343 8 KB JPG > be leftie > join anarchist discord server > mostly americans > everyone has tons of gay and mental illness tags > vetting_process.png > get asked are trans women women > say not genetially but we should treat them as they wish because its a nice thing to do > instaban I can't anymore. Its like a mental illness bros, why cant they just want for people to get along and for everyone to have enough and not this insane b-------.

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Anon gets a bonsai tree | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke 3 Replies / 1 Image >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. View Thread

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Anon misses making orgami | /r/Greentext

File: Origami-crane.jpg (1.77 MB, 2080x1672) Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)21:41:24 No.611307 [Reply] ► >>6 >always liked origami as a kid >like every other kid i guess >recently decided to get back into it >started working through a book >using printer paper because i don't have origami paper >got to about halfway through the intermediate models >having a ton of fun >one night i accidentally leave one of them out on the kitchen table >wake up next day >mom rips up the origami >starts yelling at me >says she knows i've been "wasting" paper with this s--- >calls me a retard and tells me to stop right away >all joy is sucked out of it >haven't felt the need to make another one

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Dreamscapes Unveiled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Weird dreams 01/12/24(Fri)21:48:57 No.912284666 Ever had a dream that for one reason or another you still clearly remember after a long time? well I want a thread about those. i'll start >I remember watering some plants outside my window, when I found two birds; both were hatchlings and looked pretty ugly, but I kept them, I would feed them and watch them do bird stuff. After what felt like a day, both birds grew to adulthood the first one was small really small no bigger than 2 inches, it had red feathers but they seemed really faded like plastic that has been sitting in the sun. the second one kinda looked like an owl, it seemed healthy and I remember it being my favorite so I gave him a name, I decided to call him Silbore. 8 KB JPG >I would go on and pour all my attention and love into Silbore, to the point that I completly forgot about the minute bird, It only came back to me when I remembered that that bird was yet to be named. In that instant I noticed that Silbore was missing so I went to look for him. >Silbore was nowhere to be seen, but I did find the other tiny bird, it was in the beak of a much bigger bird, it looked like a crow but it was crimson red. this bird was pretty so pretty infact that I was about to let it devour the little one and keep it instead. >As soon as I made up my mind I woke up to my alarm.

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Anon proves Christianity with one dub and 2 trips | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OtOejs4x 01/13/24(Sat)00:54:22 No.454999933 ► >>454999725 agreed, that's why I'm Christian. The Bible says not to believe in jewish Titus 1:14 Anonymous (ID: guXumi3r 01/13/24(Sat)00:55:06 No.455000000 >>455003564 >>455003716 >>455004124 >>455004374 >>455004740 >>455004803 >>454999579 AHAHA BINGO! YES! GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST! Anonymous (ID: YJQpKfrB) 01/13/24 (Sat)00:55:21 No.455000022 >>454994130 (OP). Mark of the beast was the six digit tattoos germany marked jews with.

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