The Intact Man | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)03:45:23 No.911255160 >be me >bf is uncircumcised >every time I try to give him handjobs he says ow >I don't really understand what I'm doing wrong >fast forward >ask him what it would feel like to shove something down his foreskin >he demonstrates by putting his finger inside of his foreskin 7 KB JPG >don't understand why he's only doing it in the tip and ask why >me.jpeg when I found out the foreskin only stretched over the top and not the whole thing

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/24/23(Sun)15:47:43 No.193684632 Bravery. tenor[1].gif 2.16 MB GIF >taken as a prisoner of war >threatened with torture >lol what's the geneva convention >threatened to have his head caved in >still stays strong in the face of certain death Who is the bad guys again?

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Anon reminisces about E3 2014 | /r/Greentext

File: 1389067892161.jpg-(633 KB, 1280x720, gabe en.jpg) GO Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:11 UTC-5 No.226102097 Replies: >>226102705 >Gabe arrives to E3 showfloor via suspension cables by S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier >Crowd Cheers, Men get on their knees, women give birth on the scene. >Shows off some Dota 2 and CS:GO gameplay, Announces Richochet 2 >Show comes to an end. chot >Gun shots, the cable snaps and Gabe is shot in the shoulder, Gabe gasps as he rolls off the stage >The first three rows of the crowd are crushed Percent on Metacritic >Gabe Smiles and says: "Hope you had fun with us, have a great E3." As cables begin to wrap around him before taking off. >Fan screams "What about Half Life 2: Episode 3?" >A small earthquake shatters the ground, people fall into chasms >With his dying breath Gabe says "because we are planning to release Half Life 3 as a full, game. Including a new multiplayer mode" >Head Falls with a thud >Microsoft renamed "Mike is Hard" Eddie >Freddie Mercury rises from the dead >Gabe's Smile drops and pauses as the sounds of the Helicarrier get louder >"There will be no episode 3" He shouts >one year later, the game is released. As the campaign ends with the Combine defeated >G-man turns to Freeman and says to him "I hope it was worth the weight" man tran >G-man transforms into Gaben and flies off into space Credito roll >Credits roll 400 Bercont 100 were >Wars ware eng end >Jews and Arabs become friends DRM >DRM dies Cabon's >Gaben's autopsy shows enough food from his pre-E3 meal to end world hunger >Economy stabilised >Everything on Steam is free >Order 66 is averted >Carl Sagan emerges from the sun with a tear and a small smile spread across his face. Anonymous 01/06/14(Mon)23:15 UTC-5 No.226102464 File: 1389068110489.jpg-(27 KB, 399x320, 0004.jpg) GO brilliant

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Technoblade improves a person's life | /r/Greentext

>be me 4 years ago >mildly autistic high school kid >no friends, nothing new >pretty sure everyone at school hates me >obsessed with youtube >mostly watch minecraft youtuber technoblade 153 KB JPG >want to be confident like him >start copying his mannerisms and speech patterns >try to think like he would >try to work like he would >genuinely started to gain a sense of confidence in myself and my work >started grinding and improving more than my high school classmates >pays off, get a full ride to a good college >got into a relationship >found a great friend group >teachers admire my work ethic >getting work opportunities early on thank you minecraft pig man

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Anon thinks its over | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me I AM ACTUALLY >turned 25 recently >three b------- in life >one act of vaginal intercourse >all of these interactions have been done with escorts >started when I was 23 IN SO MUCH F------ PAIN 124 KB JPG 12/23/23(Sat)17:27:57 No.911221980 >never got laid in college >never had a girlfriend >would still be a virgin if I haven't done it >been resisting the urge to do it again >craving it so badly >think about the STD risk >think about how much money I'd waste on 30 minutes >think about how I'll most likely fail to hold an erection because while the thought was a turn-on, actually doing it makes me limp >decide to j------- and call it a day >getting older >realizing I'm never going to have a healthy, meaningful relationship with a woman >something I can never have This is it, is it?

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Wasted years | /r/Greentext

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Argentinamaxxing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 [ 12/22/23(Fri)03:17:41 No.191540049 When I first arrived in Buenos Aires, I was going to spend two weeks here before jumping on a flight somewhere else. That was one year ago, and I'm still here. This might have something to do with why I'm still here. ss9381.png 314 KB PNG >be gringo >take a few dollars from the piggy bank >go and live the dream in Argentina Why don't you do it? 12/22/23(Fri)03:18:19 No.191540075 : Anonymous i don't like browns and blacks >>191540467 # Anonymous 12/22/23(Fri)03:28:41 No.191540467 >>191540075 # must be hell living im Germany then 1540230 lying mileis

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gacha apocalypse | /r/Greentext

3h (12/24 5:42) · 66164161829 Re - 6 Img JPG 1MB (2515 × 3353) · Xi Jirenping.jpg 10 Replies BASED XI DESTROYS GATCHASHIT >NO DAILY LOGIN BONUS >NO FIRST PURCHASE BONUS >HARD SPEND LIMIT ON GAMES >NO PULLS FOR UNDER 18 >NO STREAM DONATIONS I kneel... ●●●● :

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>currency is called credit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 12/24/23(Sun)06:40:59 No.193657059 >Movie is set in the future >Earth is called Terra

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Anon demolished a franchise plot with a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/23(Sun)09:44:56 No.19149549 Sauron-Ring-Lord-of-the-Rings.jpg 195 KB JPG >starts out with the ring >gets beaten ezpz >5000+ years later >"If he gets the ring he'll be unstoppable" ???

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Greek anon is not satisfied with accolades from the economist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Txg9QHh7 ) Greece wins :Goy of the Year" (...) The Economist Names Greece 'Country of the Year' for 2023 Posted On 21 Dec 2023 By: GTP editing team Comment: 1 f XP in 12/23/23(Sat)17:04:22 No.452810114 51 SHARES British weekly The Economist has named Greece "Country of the Year" for 2023 for its resilience in what it described as a difficult year full of conflicts and war, autocratic regimes and limited freedoms. The decision comes after The Economist staff looked for the "place that has improved the most.... for a bright spot in a bleak world". And that "leaves the winner, Greece", which managed after years of painful reforms and restructuring to top the annual ranking of rich-world economies in 2023. Let's count the great laws and submission rituals passed this year which won us this honor. >Legalized gay marriage (65% of the people opposed it according to gov sponsored poll) >Legalized f-- child adoption (80% opposed it) >Legalized and gave work permits to ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS to (((solve labor shortage))) ie. lower wages >Sold our natural resources and tons of companies to Jewish-American-Kikeropean capital funds (the largest, CVC, has its Greek branch ran by our PRIME MINISTER'S DAUGHTER) >Sent tons of our equipment to Ukraine to replace with F-35s + subscription package + tip >Bent the knee to an American-sponsored "agreement" with Turkey to hand over half our oil reserves to them because NATO golems must cooperate! >We got our (((credit rating))) raised, which means we are "investor friendly" ie. foreigners bleed us try with government approval for-2023 Imao.png 633 KB PNG Meanwhile wages are stagnant, we have the most expensive electricity prices in Europe, some of the highest food prices, and they're never falling. Thank you for the honor, masters! https://www.economist.com/leaders/2 023/12/20/the-economists-country-of-the-year- 150010060 I : Anonymous (ID: 4g|PhTb5) 12/23/23(Sat)17:05:34 No.452810187 The emperor protects

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The Flirting Experiment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 2.78 MB WEBM 12/23/23(Sat)05:48:06 No.19282219 >Flirt with Persian woman >She appreciates it >Flirt with Colombian woman >She appreciates it >Flirt with Japanese woman >She appreciates it >Flirt with western woman >Umm thats sexual harrassment im calling HR What causes this exactly

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Anon turns the tables | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ) 10/09/22(Sun)03:08:45 No.68578434 O 112.png 83 KB PNG WE >10 year high school reunion tomorrow, on Sunday >I've been working out and body building every day for the past 8 years >high school bully that tormented me for 4 years has gotten skinny fat from not exercising and doing an office job >now I tower 4 inches over him and have about 100lbs of muscle mass over him >he's been posting on facebook about how him, his wife and kids are excited about meeting all of their friends again >coming from another state to attend tomorrow The tables have turned. Now I am the bully.

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