Anon meets "that guy" | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

244 KB PNG >at the zoo0 >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is anti-semetic | /r/Greentext

1696182484674547.jpg (305 KB, 1920x1080) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)14:23:41 No.75312738 >be me >bartender >last night >this huge group of people come in >good money i think >they all come up >start ordering >two really cute girls break away from the main group >sit at the bar and talk to me all night >find out they are all jewish >coming back from a bar mitzvah >really cute one leaves me her number when they leave should i go for it? i'm really racist and i hate jews but she was so hot

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Anon has a calling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 150 KB JPG 11/05/23(Sun)23:18:19 No.908837230 >be me a few years ago >16 years old >start to have symptoms of OCD >one of the symptoms is attraction towards dusty deserts and sand >a few years go by >negative sides OCD has eased down (no longer staring at a wall for an hour) >attraction towards sand has stayed >literally water in mouth from seeing dusty desert footage on youtube >Debate buying rocks from Ebay to create my own sand from them Am i literally made for a career in geology?

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Anon plays silent Hill 2 | /r/Greentext

114 KB JPG >be me at like 13 years old >2003, silent Hill 3 was around the corner >Only ever saw small amounts of 2, wanted to play >A friend of mine allowed me to borrow his PS2 and copy of silent Hill 2 >He had already beaten the game once so I was doing a second playthrough >The game had me f------ horrified, like I couldn't believe how scary it was >l kind of had an idea of the games story but had no clue that there was multiple endings >Find "the dog key" during my playthrough >Still scared shitless and later find a place I can use the dog key >l get the dog ending not knowing what the f--- is going on >The credits roll as the dog barks them, I'm laughing hysterically but also confused as hell >Next day I give my buddy his PS2 and game back and I tell him the game has a wack ass ending >Tell him I thought the dog was hilarious >He thought I was bullshitting him >Turns out he had gotten the rebirth ending on his first playthrough and didn't know about the dog ending I miss the early 00s with today's social media this s--- could never slide

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One simple trick to create a super powered toilet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB PNG 09/17/21(Fri)14:47:35 No.863275091 >be me >throw pic related away >replace with a 1/2 thread >connect toilet >fills in 25 seconds instead of 1 minute Why didnt u overclock ur s------ 35 Replies /2 Images View Thread

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Anon is... actually I don't even have a comment for this one, what the fuck | /r/Greentext

1687.png (273 KB, 600x583) google yandex iqdb wait >go to school >walk up to her >stutter an introduction My mom is a hero Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)11:18:41 No.75310830 >be me, 12 years ago >HS junior, don't really know anyone in my school despite being in my 4th year there >"in love" with a girl >read a bunch of pop evopsych slop on 4chan about how romantic attraction is an extension of the love for the prole >have an idea >I'll induce a trigger on her motherly instincts by emulating the smell of a baby >put genuine effort into researching what makes a baby smell like a baby >buy a bunch of garbage in order to make it work >mix it all into one cursed sticky substance >the terrible part comes next >I figure that only that would not be enough because having only the "good" part wasn't realistic >retardedly decide to buy an adult diaper, then piss and s--- on it just little bit >I reasoned that the smell of the urine and feces would not be strong enough to be detectable but would give the depth the odor needed in order to hit the exact notes of a baby smell perfectly >rub the solution on my body >she answers me with 5 words >"anon you smell like S---" >get unreasonably angry >start getting red and tearing up >walk out of the classroom with very. purposefully. loud. steps. >a classmate asks me what's going on >I slap him >his friends are strong while I'm a fatass, so immediately immobilize me >some minor chaos ensues >we're quickly sent off to the principal's office >they comment on my smell >I get suspended >pretty sure one of them saw my diaper >go home, load my mom's gun with every intention of going back >second guess myself >ask my mom if I can go to another school because I'm "getting bullied" >she agrees immediately without question >tfw my mom saved about 50 kids' lives and I'm a pathetic NEET who shat a diaper to impress a girl Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)11:23:41 No.75310872 ✓ Change your name, your sex and apply melanotan until no one ever ever suspects you are the same person who shat a diaper to impress a girl ever again.

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Anon thinks bones are a weakness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/01/23(Wed)14:21:24 No.259030589 ile: 1694572192426051.jpg (52 KB, 500x375) >has no bones >no bones >NO BONES THE MOST POWERFUL ENEMIES HAVE NO BONES?!????? WHY DO THE GREATEST THREATS HAVE NO BONES???? >DEMON KING PICCOLO: NO BONES >MA JUNIOR: NO BONES >GARLIC JR.: NO BONES >DR. WHEELO: NO BONES >LORD SLUG: NO BONES >FREEZA: NO BONES >COOLER: NO BONES >ANDROID 19: NO BONES >DR. GERO: NO BONES >ANDROID 13: NO BONES >CELL: NO BONES >BOJACK: NO BONES >YAKON: NO BONES >PUI PUI: NO BONES >MAJIN BUU: NO BONES >JANEMBA: NO BONES >HIRUDEGARN: NO BONES >FREEZA AGAIN: NO BONES >ZA SU: NO BONES >JIREN: NO BONES >CELL MAX: NO BONES >GENERAL DILDO: NO BONES >BABY: NO BONES f--- you REEKdom, it's not """" "beh-bee' >SUPER 17: NO BONES >SHADOW DRAGONS: NO BONES >OMEGA SHENRON: NO BONES you f------ retard

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Anon hates bejita and goku | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)12:52:24 No.259182908 File: 1696542017905658.png (62 KB, 192x196) >>259182210 >NOOOOO GOKU AND BEJITA ARE ALWAYS THE HEROES WHY CAN'T THE REST OF THE GANG GET SCREENTIME >Garlic Jr. Saga >expands the kami lore and makes kami and the dragon balls relevant again + a Piccolo, Gohan and Krillin W >Bio Broly >interesting concept, Z warriors win without Goku and Bejita >NOOOOOO THIS IS LE BAD Why is reddit like this?

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Anon will be singing when he's winning | /r/Greentext

File: maxresdefault (89).jpg (58 KB, 1280x720) vevo Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)09:52:52 No.75308317 [Reply] I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN YOURE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN >> Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)10:15:54 No.75308467 https://youtu.be/CcZQ3t7_soY [Embed]

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anon is a stoic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me l dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim 71 KB JPG of a practical joke >I am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street #1 >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459

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Anon was banned shortly after this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ullPK81W) 170 KB GIF 11/05/23 (Sun)00:37:20 No.447583456 I'M UNBANNED BABY, SWEET LORD ALMIGHT I'M FREE AT LAST : Anonymous (ID: 90p0CFPR) 11/05/23(Sun)00:38:20 No.447583530 : Anonymous (ID: uchjidWO) 11/05/23(Sun)00:38:55 No.447583577 >>447583456 (OP) # mods ban this f-----

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Least patriotic Korean immigrant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)18:39:38 No.60057313 g---.jpg 430 KB JPG > A third son, Hyung Jin "Sean" Moon, founded a separate, gun-centered church in Pennsylvania known as Rod of Iron Ministries, where followers do target practice with AR-15s and bring guns to church to be blessed. Hyung Jin wears a golden crown made of rifle shells, and delivers hate-filled sermons against the Democratic Party. He also expects to become the king of America. He reviles his mother-who runs the international church in South Korea-as the "w---- of Babylon." Two nukes weren't enough man

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Anon plays a Reddit competition with his friend Gavin | /r/Greentext

e: IMG_1058.jpg (288 KB, 953x919) Please feel free to laugh at my productivity levels at work yesterday. >Be me, bored as f--- at work >competition with my friend Gavin >who can get most reddit karma in an afternoon >go to r/chiraqology >ghetto sub about third world city in america >say dumb retard s--- like every other person there >"mf got got" >"beefin s--- folz" >"git dem crack hos" >"beef tip ganstaz" >"flobba dob flib flob fleeb" >get over 1000 karma points >still lose competition with Gavin >he posted one picture of a cat in b--------- sub aww something

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