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244 KB PNG >at the zoo0 >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon is anti-semetic | /r/Greentext

1696182484674547.jpg (305 KB, 1920x1080) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)14:23:41 No.75312738 >be me >bartender >last night >this huge group of people come in >good money i think >they all come up >start ordering >two really cute girls break away from the main group >sit at the bar and talk to me all night >find out they are all jewish >coming back from a bar mitzvah >really cute one leaves me her number when they leave should i go for it? i'm really racist and i hate jews but she was so hot

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Anon has a calling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 150 KB JPG 11/05/23(Sun)23:18:19 No.908837230 >be me a few years ago >16 years old >start to have symptoms of OCD >one of the symptoms is attraction towards dusty deserts and sand >a few years go by >negative sides OCD has eased down (no longer staring at a wall for an hour) >attraction towards sand has stayed >literally water in mouth from seeing dusty desert footage on youtube >Debate buying rocks from Ebay to create my own sand from them Am i literally made for a career in geology?

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Anon plays silent Hill 2 | /r/Greentext

114 KB JPG >be me at like 13 years old >2003, silent Hill 3 was around the corner >Only ever saw small amounts of 2, wanted to play >A friend of mine allowed me to borrow his PS2 and copy of silent Hill 2 >He had already beaten the game once so I was doing a second playthrough >The game had me f------ horrified, like I couldn't believe how scary it was >l kind of had an idea of the games story but had no clue that there was multiple endings >Find "the dog key" during my playthrough >Still scared shitless and later find a place I can use the dog key >l get the dog ending not knowing what the f--- is going on >The credits roll as the dog barks them, I'm laughing hysterically but also confused as hell >Next day I give my buddy his PS2 and game back and I tell him the game has a wack ass ending >Tell him I thought the dog was hilarious >He thought I was bullshitting him >Turns out he had gotten the rebirth ending on his first playthrough and didn't know about the dog ending I miss the early 00s with today's social media this s--- could never slide

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One simple trick to create a super powered toilet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB PNG 09/17/21(Fri)14:47:35 No.863275091 >be me >throw pic related away >replace with a 1/2 thread >connect toilet >fills in 25 seconds instead of 1 minute Why didnt u overclock ur s------ 35 Replies /2 Images View Thread

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Anon is... actually I don't even have a comment for this one, what the fuck | /r/Greentext

1687.png (273 KB, 600x583) google yandex iqdb wait >go to school >walk up to her >stutter an introduction My mom is a hero Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)11:18:41 No.75310830 >be me, 12 years ago >HS junior, don't really know anyone in my school despite being in my 4th year there >"in love" with a girl >read a bunch of pop evopsych slop on 4chan about how romantic attraction is an extension of the love for the prole >have an idea >I'll induce a trigger on her motherly instincts by emulating the smell of a baby >put genuine effort into researching what makes a baby smell like a baby >buy a bunch of garbage in order to make it work >mix it all into one cursed sticky substance >the terrible part comes next >I figure that only that would not be enough because having only the "good" part wasn't realistic >retardedly decide to buy an adult diaper, then piss and s--- on it just little bit >I reasoned that the smell of the urine and feces would not be strong enough to be detectable but would give the depth the odor needed in order to hit the exact notes of a baby smell perfectly >rub the solution on my body >she answers me with 5 words >"anon you smell like S---" >get unreasonably angry >start getting red and tearing up >walk out of the classroom with very. purposefully. loud. steps. >a classmate asks me what's going on >I slap him >his friends are strong while I'm a fatass, so immediately immobilize me >some minor chaos ensues >we're quickly sent off to the principal's office >they comment on my smell >I get suspended >pretty sure one of them saw my diaper >go home, load my mom's gun with every intention of going back >second guess myself >ask my mom if I can go to another school because I'm "getting bullied" >she agrees immediately without question >tfw my mom saved about 50 kids' lives and I'm a pathetic NEET who shat a diaper to impress a girl Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)11:23:41 No.75310872 ✓ Change your name, your sex and apply melanotan until no one ever ever suspects you are the same person who shat a diaper to impress a girl ever again.

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Anon thinks bones are a weakness | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/01/23(Wed)14:21:24 No.259030589 ile: 1694572192426051.jpg (52 KB, 500x375) >has no bones >no bones >NO BONES THE MOST POWERFUL ENEMIES HAVE NO BONES?!????? WHY DO THE GREATEST THREATS HAVE NO BONES???? >DEMON KING PICCOLO: NO BONES >MA JUNIOR: NO BONES >GARLIC JR.: NO BONES >DR. WHEELO: NO BONES >LORD SLUG: NO BONES >FREEZA: NO BONES >COOLER: NO BONES >ANDROID 19: NO BONES >DR. GERO: NO BONES >ANDROID 13: NO BONES >CELL: NO BONES >BOJACK: NO BONES >YAKON: NO BONES >PUI PUI: NO BONES >MAJIN BUU: NO BONES >JANEMBA: NO BONES >HIRUDEGARN: NO BONES >FREEZA AGAIN: NO BONES >ZA SU: NO BONES >JIREN: NO BONES >CELL MAX: NO BONES >GENERAL DILDO: NO BONES >BABY: NO BONES f--- you REEKdom, it's not """" "beh-bee' >SUPER 17: NO BONES >SHADOW DRAGONS: NO BONES >OMEGA SHENRON: NO BONES you f------ retard

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Anon hates bejita and goku | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)12:52:24 No.259182908 File: 1696542017905658.png (62 KB, 192x196) >>259182210 >NOOOOO GOKU AND BEJITA ARE ALWAYS THE HEROES WHY CAN'T THE REST OF THE GANG GET SCREENTIME >Garlic Jr. Saga >expands the kami lore and makes kami and the dragon balls relevant again + a Piccolo, Gohan and Krillin W >Bio Broly >interesting concept, Z warriors win without Goku and Bejita >NOOOOOO THIS IS LE BAD Why is reddit like this?

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Anon will be singing when he's winning | /r/Greentext

File: maxresdefault (89).jpg (58 KB, 1280x720) vevo Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)09:52:52 No.75308317 [Reply] I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I GET UP AGAIN YOURE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN >> Anonymous 11/05/23(Sun)10:15:54 No.75308467 https://youtu.be/CcZQ3t7_soY [Embed]

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anon is a stoic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:06:41 No.10531852 >walking home at night >pass a group of youths >one of them tells me l dropped my gay card >I look down for it and realise I've been the victim 71 KB JPG of a practical joke >I am unmoved, I tell the youth that his provocations are futile because I am a stoic >he bursts out laughing and says it's pronounced stow-ic, not stoike >break down and cry in the street #1 >>10532164 # >>10532217 # >>10532453 # >>10532459

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Anon was banned shortly after this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ullPK81W) 170 KB GIF 11/05/23 (Sun)00:37:20 No.447583456 I'M UNBANNED BABY, SWEET LORD ALMIGHT I'M FREE AT LAST : Anonymous (ID: 90p0CFPR) 11/05/23(Sun)00:38:20 No.447583530 : Anonymous (ID: uchjidWO) 11/05/23(Sun)00:38:55 No.447583577 >>447583456 (OP) # mods ban this f-----

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Least patriotic Korean immigrant | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)18:39:38 No.60057313 g---.jpg 430 KB JPG > A third son, Hyung Jin "Sean" Moon, founded a separate, gun-centered church in Pennsylvania known as Rod of Iron Ministries, where followers do target practice with AR-15s and bring guns to church to be blessed. Hyung Jin wears a golden crown made of rifle shells, and delivers hate-filled sermons against the Democratic Party. He also expects to become the king of America. He reviles his mother-who runs the international church in South Korea-as the "w---- of Babylon." Two nukes weren't enough man

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Anon plays a Reddit competition with his friend Gavin | /r/Greentext

e: IMG_1058.jpg (288 KB, 953x919) Please feel free to laugh at my productivity levels at work yesterday. >Be me, bored as f--- at work >competition with my friend Gavin >who can get most reddit karma in an afternoon >go to r/chiraqology >ghetto sub about third world city in america >say dumb retard s--- like every other person there >"mf got got" >"beefin s--- folz" >"git dem crack hos" >"beef tip ganstaz" >"flobba dob flib flob fleeb" >get over 1000 karma points >still lose competition with Gavin >he posted one picture of a cat in b--------- sub aww something

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Greentext Stories - Anon meets "that guy" | /r/Greentext

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244 KB PNG >at the zoo0 >decide to take guided tour since one is about to start >lady asks if there's any qustions before the tour begins >guy in the background screams "YEA WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS AT?!" >everyone stares at him >lady says all of the primates are in the jungle exhibit on the other side of the zoo >guy takes off into a full sprint towards the monkeys >about an hour later >tour catches up to guy in front of the chimpanzees >he's bobbing his head in sync with all the chimps whilst howling View Thread

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