Anon is a motivational speaker | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Screenshot 2023-10-09 6.3(...).png (79 KB, 288x303) Follow your dreams - Anonymous 10/09/23(Mon)06:41:48 No.907381798 Hey, slightly slightly above average anon here. I'm sorry life has been so mean to you. Millions of people have recessed chins, receding hairlines, patchy facial hair, short stature and gross body proportions, tiny d----, and in general are socially inept or unintelligent. I have an average chin, thick and luscious hair, well-above average facial hair, average height, kind of stout, a good sized penis, and people generally like me and I have a full-ride scholarship that pays for literally everything. I have a beautiful Russian wife who is literally perfect and will ghost and divorce me as soon as she gets her greencard. So many of you are absolutely repulsive to the average woman, and that's really unfortunate. It's not your fault. And I mean it's also not your fault that your disgusting little bodies have made it impossible to find a woman who will talk to you so that you can learn how to be around them. So many people hate you which only exacerbated your social ineptitude, and you're probably not that smart unless you're one of the 1 in 1,000,000 aspie geniuses. Even if you are intelligent, your abhorrent phenotype will ensure that no one will give you the opportunity to prove your worth so that you'll at least be kind of financially well-off by the time you're having a mid-life crisis. But you know what? I believe in you. You may not get that young virgin tradwife who wants to have your babies and wipe your ass like I did, but I am hoping and praying you'll get that used up n------ loving obese w---- with 4 abortions and 4 children all with different fathers who's finally decided to settle-down by the time all her eggs are expired and you suffer from ED because you beat your d--- to cartoons obsessively for 3 decades. Keep going. > picrel is literally you

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Anonymous 03/16/23(Thu)14:34:40 No.92128194 File: Alpha and his watch.png (1.59 MB, 1102x1190) >>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed > little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

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https://old.reddit.com/r/greentext | /r/Greentext

>meet girl in uni work group >ultra broken english with a strong russian accent, cute >talk about video games and go out together a few times >invite me over to her place >hellyes >arrive at her place, she lets me in >her pets (a prussian blue and rottweiler) come after hearing me at the door >"Those are my pets, kat and dog!" >no s---? >"What are they called?" >she gets the biggest s----eating grin imaginable >she points at the cat "He is Dog" 69 KB JPG >wut.jpg >then she points at the dog "She is Kat" >about to correct her as she's giggling >"It's short for Katarina and Douglas"

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the man with the golden gun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/09/23(Mon)18:31:02 No.11867745 File: saruman.jpg (53 KB, 480x556) >ok we have the guy who played Count Dracula, what should be the name of his character >Count Dookula >that's just retarded, George >okay, Count Dooku then >genius

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Chudanon swindles the convenience store | /r/Greentext

File: cd9.png (10 KB, 645x770) Anonymous 10/06/23 (Fri)22:09:11 No.188314518 >>188314567 >>188314591 >>188314633 >end of my incelwalk heading back to my dorm >stop at konbini near my dorm >get 40 pack of trident sourpatch kids gum >item doesnt have an individual barcode so the cashier always rings it up as a $2 pack of regular trident gum >save $3 >been doing this for months

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Anon is late to the party | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: npqkVyBm) 225 KB PNG No.444007945 10/09/23(Mon)11:43:35 >get back from hiking trip and find out WW3 has officially started over the weekend What the F--- is going to happen next?

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The last temptation of Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NBnbzo+4 10/08/23(Sun)07:21:06 No.443805254 >>443802100 (You) # >BOOM >The roof is collapsing in your shill data center >Lights flicker, but the computer is still on, thank god >Hurry to complete the captcha so that you can post one more BBC spam >"WE NEED TO EVACUATE NOW" your colleague screams in your ear >People are groaning in pain >He grabs you by your shoulders, wrenching you away from your duty station, but your hands are cemented to the keyboard as if by some supernatural force, as if G-d himself is holding you there >"NOT YET" you shout as the sirens begin to wail >Your fingers, guided by G-d, type the last words before hitting the submit button >"YOUR WOMEN ARE AT HOME ENJOYING B--------- WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK" >The post goes through >You smile as time slows down and everything is bathed in a golden light >>443805790 #

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Political subreddits be like | /r/Greentext

> Open /r/Conservative to see what they're talking about >trans agenda >trans agenda >Hunter Biden's c--- >pride flags >Hunter Biden's c--- >Here's how Trump can still win >pride flags >trans agenda >trans t--- at the white house >Hunter Biden's c---

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Anon considers breaking up with his girlfriend | /r/Greentext

Thinking of ending it with my gf as well. I think I can do better, this bitch just brings me down. Constantly nagging and arguing over nothing. Its like she doesnt want to be happy. >have argument >"you're a loser anon blah blah blah" >"you do nothing with your life and you still live with your dad" >"all you do is smoke weed and play forza" >"you are f------ 32 for f---- sake" >"you lie to claim disability and spend the money on weed" >"you could have helped your suicidal cousin rather than just give him weed" >"your dad just wants you out of his life, he is f------ ashamed of you" >"no one gives a f--- about your tiktok where you laugh at poor people shopping at burlington. Its offensive and racist" That last one really hurt and she knew it. She knows how much effort I have put into my tiktok channel. Its such a good idea and each video gets more views than the previous one. Why are women like this bros? Are there any good ones out there?

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Anon logs on the forum | /r/Greentext

Â Anonymous 10/08/23(Sun)19:26:09 No.907343533 >>907343770 >>907344386 >>907344892 >>907345616 >>907345791 >>907346283 >>907346621 >>907347341 >>907347517 >>907348170 >>907348416 File: 1634394076332.jpg (443 KB, 1188x2208) >>907343003 (OP) >>be neet who never goes outside >technically a virgin but it will change >my online friend asks me how it's ever going to happen if i don't go outside >explain it to him >one day a beautiful girl in scantly clad clothing will knock on my door >she will ask me for a lollypop or some candy that can melt in her mouth >i tell her i only have one lollypop left if she wants that? >she gives me eye contact >opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out >i rub it against her tongue and she wraps her lips around the tip >me ask her what her costume is? >she says she is a pussycat >black lingerie, stocks, crop top and black ears >make-up looks like whiskers on her cheeks >i c-- in my pants and tell her that's a great costume >she says thanks and happy halloween >*wave to her as she leaves* >log on the forum to talk to my friend >brag about how my lollypop has been inside a p---- see ya later virgins Anonymous 10/08/23(Sun)19:31:48 No.907343770 >>907343837 >>907345053 >>907343533 Americans say don't take candy from strangers, unless it's halloween and you are dressed like a slut then it's okay. If you were born in June or July then your mum might have been r---- on Halloween which is kinda spooky if you think about it. Anonymous 10/08/23(Sun)19:33:26 No.907343837 >>907345172 >>907345221 >>907345967 >>907346617 >>907346754 >>907344228 >>907344752 >>907343770 I hope the doctors hide your schizo pills into your candy this year.

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Anon is old | /r/Greentext

49 KB JPG >on random server >"Hey Anon, how old are you?" >"I'm uh... 23" >Everyone laughs > "Christ grandpa, isn't it bedtime for you?" >"Who let the old man in?" >"Dude, yo do know we're all like 13 to 16 here, right" >"G-Guys I was joking, I'm 16" >"HAHAHA, that's what I thought" >"Wew, I was actually about to kick you from the server anon" After this and a couple of other experiences, I think I might give up on online gaming altogether. Seems like everything is now filled with f------ zoomers. I'm scared, honestly. I don't know, maybe I'm legit outgrowing this s---.

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Don't do it Bros | /r/Greentext

169 KB JPG loosing his son >Be paramedic >Seen dozens of suicides in the last 8 years >The reactions of the loved ones are always bad >None is ever worse than a dad There is not a thing in this world that is more depressing sounding than a man sobbing while clutching his sons lifeless body. I remember one who killed himself by shotgun slug after he came back from Iraq. There was nothing left of him, and his father got home just as we were getting ready to leave. I couldn't let him see, so Il stood there and just didn't let him through. He went downstairs to the basement and clutched his sons old baseball glove, rocking back and forth, just saying "papas here, buddy, papas here." Don't do it anons. >>45172699 #

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Anon is in love with a slave | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 10/08/23(Sun)21:01:33 No.907357705 >going on 1 year with qt fake-queer (says she's bi/multigender despite being just a straight girl) black girl >tiktok witchy-fakegoth-egirl sorta deal, some of her tiktoks are jokes about having a white bf >about 5 months in having sex >she's always pretty vocal, I just grunt and moan when I c-- 417 KB JPG >"Yeah f--- that p----" >"F--- that s--- up Anon" >keep pounding away >"Gimme that white d---" >a month later, f------ >"Gimme that colonizer d---" >stop for a second and then keep going >8 months >"Yes massa gimme that white c---, f--- that ass up" >"F--- you take that p---- good massa" >we're in Florida but she puts more of a southern accent on when we f--- >very obvious comedic slave voice >c-- in her everytime >"I love you Anon! That felt so good hehe" >love you too >going on a year, f------, she's basically screaming it out >"Yes massa f--- that black p----~! Breed that s---!" >"I'm your slave, I'm your bitch" >c-- in her, groan while she mumbles "Yes put that white baby in me" >laying in bed, kiss and say I love you's >never discussed this ever with her >offhandedly joked about it once while we were watching a movie and she glared at me like I kicked our dog and then was pissy for two days >just let her do her little fantasies while we f--- now I don't know how I stumbled backwards into this, I don't think I'm gonna marry her, if this is a year in there's just gonna be weird s--- down the road, she's gonna make me whip her or drive her to a cotton farm or something

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Oh Lawd Dem Rangs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5M8vA/OD 10/07/23(Sat)21:18:14 No.443741979 image_2023-10-08_001801986.png 432 KB PNG No Palestinian ever put black people in my Lord of The Rings.

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