Anon needs advice | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/03/23(Sun)02:56:26 No.905439679 >Wanted to do my sister for years >Finally convinced her to move with me, I'm so evil >She's really excited about being just the two of us for some reason >First night living together >It was like 2 am >She comes to my room and crawls inside bed >She hugs me and says she loves me and that she isn't used to the house so she wants to sleep with me >I start caressing her >Get massive boner >She immediately falls asleep like that >I start thinking about how adorable this is >Boner dies >We sleep together like this >At morning I woke her up with a big kiss on her cheek >She does the same thing and says she loves me >I feel so guilty about wanting to bone her >She sleeps with me like 5 nights in a row afterwards >Then she gets used to the house and starts sleeping in her own bedroom >It's been 9 months since we last slept together in the same bed >I still get to kiss her face every morning and receive lots of "I love you"s Thoughts? >>905440046 # >>905441939 #

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon remains pure....! | /r/Greentext

386105255853.jpg (18 KB. 300x300, tSrfb2A.jpg) Anonymous 12/03/13(Tue)15: 14:15 UTC-6 So /b/, this is the first time I've shared this story >mother >f------ >9/11 >be me >be 18 >at a house party >girl is talking to me >we're wasted >time to go to the love station says she wants to wait until morning >so she can "remember it" >wake up in the morning next to her >she's already awake watching the news or som >start making out >put my hand in her panties >she's moaning >says "what the f---" in a terrified voice >"holy f--- my dad works there" >immediately gets up and pulls out her cell phone >look at TV just in time >second plane crashes into tower >she starts balling uncontrollably That's my story of how I got cockblocked by m------------ al qaeda

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Anon uses a public restroom | /r/Greentext

62E4F734-0798-4196-961F-A52FD18283A1.png 63 KB PNG >go to public bathroom >see occupied stall >start shaking the door relentlessly

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Anon makes a joke | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)14:41:36 No.63241745 Got kicked out of the DnD group I've been with for five f------ years. If a transwoman shows up one night to your group, DO NOT 69 KB PNG say "oh s--- that's awesome that's like double roleplay". >>63241752 # >>63241762 #

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Anon enters the pipeline | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 476 KB PNG 09/03/23(Sun)00:59:47 idk how to green im pretty super autismo but not normally a/b/ f----- >be me >retarded bottom but still masculine >meet cute femboy who is closet No.905435483 trans >she sends me pics of her wearing cute clothes a few times >i slowly start to realise i want to wear thigh highs and skirts too >enterthepipeline.jpg >few months later >she sends me pic of her hair tied >"oh f--- why does it look so cute have i fallen for her?" >order two pairs of thigh highs they arrive in a few days anons i need help, she offered to top me but idk if she knows i actually really really like her in such a way. should i confess and take some femboy c---?

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Anon makes a deal with the devil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31 KB JPG 10/07/21(Thu)18:24:40 No.65674198 >run into weird satanic witchcraft cringe dude on insta >instead of calling him an idiot and getting blocked I try to have fun with it >tell him to use his "powers" to get my coworker to fall in love with me >"ok" >asks me to DM him photos of her >no word for a few days >kinda just forget about >2 days ago finally DMs me "done" >yesterday coworker was acting really really chummy with me >texted me today asking if I'm doing anything on Saturday to go on a date >get scared realizing I've very possibly made an actual deal with satan >whathaveidone Guys.. God knows I was just trolling right? I'm not gonna be cast to hell for this right? I didn't think this was real but also my coworker is really hot so I don't want to just ignore her.

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Anon goes for a walk | /r/Greentext

File: artworks-000494712462-rya(...).jpg (44 KB, 500x500) ☐ Anonymous 09/03/23 (Sun)06:05:41 No.74606550 >>74606566 >>74606579 >be me 5 mins ago >seasonal depression > in all day playing video games > sleeping most of the day and up all night >today feel ok > mom say go walk doggie > take headphones and go outside in the morning for the first time in forever >3 mins in >get stung by a wasp 3 times in my foot > never going out again mfw.

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Anon is a degenerate (not big surprise) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.94 MB PNG 02/04/22(Fri) 20:23:16 No.872048745 >Little sister is a loli >(pictured) >She enters your bedroom one night >"Oh Brother, I wish to bear your children!" wwyd? 02/04/22 (Fri) 20:27:18 No.872048951 : Anonymous Looks like this anon needs to visit my wood chipper.

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I suggest Cyberbux. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)21:14:30 No.649168616 303 ⑤ WHAT REALLY ynwrgmg.jpg 14 KB JPG GRINDS d MY GEARS >we need a futuristic sounding currency >credits

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Anon staples a little too hard | /r/Greentext

Sperg-Lympics >Be me, Wagie-Anon >Office life sucks, boss notices >One day, boss bursts out of his office for the first time in days >"Hey everyone. I've noticed that you all haven't been feeling the best lately, and I've decided to take action. I welcome you all to come to the first ever... OFFICE OLYMPICS!" 8 KB JPG >He pauses, obviously waiting for applause or something. >No one cares It was genuinely as retarded as it sounded. Nobody wanted to go. >Day of the "Olympics" rolls around >Attendance is mandatory, which sadly means I have to be there >Boss explains the first event, "Stapler Darts" >Literally just darts but using a staple gun >First few people go, nobody even hits the target because it's a stapler >My turn comes up, grab stapler gun >Fire immediately to get this over with, nothing comes out >Jam.JPG > Press harder >Nothing happens >Press even harder >Nothing happens >Slam the stapler on a desk in a final attempt to fix it >Spring breaks >Hundreds of staples launched like a frag grenade >Co-Workers screaming as they penetrated by Mach 5 staples >Next year comes around >MFW no Office Olympics

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Anon notices some similarities. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anglo and Latin America 49 KB PNG 09/02/23(Sat) 18:07:15 No.186874819 > Massive gun violence problems. > Systemic police brutality. > Riddled with white supremacists, > Massive "culture war" between progressive social democrats and Christian conservatives. > Gangs running poor urban areas with very little government intervention. > Indigenous groups completely abandoned. Y'know, for as much as Anglo-America and Latin- America like to distance themselves from one another, they've really got all the same s--- going on at their core. Anonymous why did you include Brazil in Latin America??? 09/02/23(Sat)18:10:06 No. 186874907 >>186875035 # >>186875069 # Anonymous + 09/02/23(Sat)18:11:27 No.186874954 >>186874819 (OP) # Latina women are hot

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Anon loses virginity by not losing it | /r/Greentext

a Does this count as losing my virginity? No. 29682944 09/01/23(Fri)15:31:01 IMG_0627.png 789 KB 662x865 >on a date with a girl at a bar >we're making out on the couch >she says we should go get a hotel room and have sex >ok.jpg >we get a taxi that she pays for >ask for a room for two >hotel receptionist chud says they're all booked out (obviously b-------) >we say we'll do it next time >she texts me a few days later saying i'm a nice guy but we didn't feel a connection bla bla bla So did I lose my virginity? She agreed to have sex with me, in fact it was her idea. That's the hardest part, right? Should I count it as losing my v card?

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Anon Can't Socialize | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG 08/06/23(Sun)06:18:32 No.74286080 >no social skills >shut down all conversation to avoid spilling spaghetti >try to build confidence and social skill >go somewhere people will try to talk to me >accidentally shut down all conversation by instinct like that part of my brain just completely dried up and died, sometimes ill even think in the moment that i should try to keep the conversation going and then nothing comes to me, and end up with haha yeah syndrome what the f--- is wrong with me 08/06/23(Sun)06:26:53 No.74286114 : Anonymous >>74286080 (OP) # Just be yourself and shut the f--- up

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