Anon Explains Human Slang | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 1661285779996594.png (692 KB, 822x747) $ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:18:48 No. 178791479 >No, no, no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. >You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that, you say "GEM." >If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "COAL." >And if you wanna shine them on, it's "NAS." >If someone gets upset, you say, "YWNBAW." ☐ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:25:49 No.178791658 ► >>178793248 >>178791479 (OP) He was r---- >>178791658 >>178791956

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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2 anons enjoy bathroom time | /r/Greentext

File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? +6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw

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Anon started dating | /r/Greentext

27m (9/1 17:27). 905352446 14 Re-2 Img PNG 1MB (1179 x 1329) 73737838383.png >be hispanic >move into a predominately caucasian town >find a job at some random chilis as a waiter >10/10 pale as f--- goth girl cutie walks in >supposedly a regular here >she's shy af >cater her with a bit more zealous and : gentleness than i normally do with other patrons >she finishes her meal and ask me for the check >I come back and she's not even there anymore she just left the money with exact change(Imao w--) and also left on the coaster what i assume was a 20 dollar tip. >look at the bill and notice some writing on it >its a f------ discord username >Guess people don't do phone numbers anymore? >message her at night after my shift ends >we immediately hit it off and talk about our favorite interests, games, hobbies etc. >we start dating not too long after White bros what the f--- are you doing? these introverted cuties have to literally go outside their comfort zone just to find any attention. All you have to do is act like a gentleman and you're slacking off the opportunity.

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Anon gets hit with a dose of reality | /r/Greentext

1d (12/5 15:37) 61242396 388 Re 34 Img JPG 183KB (604 × 630) 25 Replies 00.. Fembots, what's the most turned on you've ever been and how did it happen? 1d (12/5 15:42) 61242463 JPG 17KB (575 × 512) 2 Replies ... ●●● >>61242396 (OP) Stop being horny, Anon. There are no fembots here, only men pretending to be fembots which is gay. Go back to masturbating to mlp p--- and rethink your life decisions

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Anon protects nephew from killer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 KB JPG 05/16/18 (Wed)22:25:34 No.768814065 ITT: spooky stories >be me >serial killer kills my brother in law >tries to kill his son but he failed somehow >his son is given to me >years later, the serial killer finds my house >sends threats in the mail, s--- about how he's gonna take him away >I move houses so he won't know my address >he f------ finds my house again >more mail >I move to an island >he still f------ knows >he comes to the door >he's f------ huge >I take out my shorty, but he breaks it in one hand >ohshit.bat >he walks up to my nephew >the twisted f--- gives him a cake >"you're a wizard harry" Turns out this wasn't the serial killer after all

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No problems when the Elder Anon is here | /r/Greentext

1/2/25qUA8e (OP). IT 4h (9/1 4:22) 18576427 · 7 Re · 1 Img JPG 1MB (2200 × 1500) · Alice.Margatroid.full.1522707.jpg 5 Replies は >Y-You will never find a girl who likes you if you don't lower your standards and start dating lazy landwhales <4 : >Y-You will never have a successful life if you aren't hyper social and ready to talk about the most boring trends with everyone <4 >Y-You will never find a good job if you don't get a STEM degree like me <4 >Y-You will never be happy unless you become a blatant caricature of me <4 >W-Why I'm still a depressed sack now? I-It's biological depression, just check those p-peer reviewed p-papers <4 >Y-You defied my inflated ego and posted the n word again? Guess I will stop talking to you forever <4 >T-The socially awkward scene girl? Y-You can keep her, I-I wasn't going to hit on her a-anyway <4

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TGIF you know | /r/Greentext

L'OREAL 59 KB JPG >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)07:03:18 No.69559403 83 KB JPG >Be gay >A girl accuses me of having sexually assaulted her >Because I got a promotion she wanted >MFW I almost lost my job because of a woman even though I'm gay (almost because security cameras proved my innocence, and yes, I sued the f--- out of her) Women deserve no rights, seriously.

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>none cares to fact check for 2000 Years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)10:06:59 No.15052157 >"heavy objects fall faster than light ones" >none cares to check if this is true for 2000 years 34 KB JPG

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Anon smells a conspiracy. | /r/Greentext

-nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon has fun......... | /r/Greentext

>be me >yesterday >friend invites me to his house to hang out with other people i don't know but i get nervous about these things so i don't go >remember when i used to play minecraft instead 23 KB JPG >buy minecraft for s---- and giggles >dad walks in on me playing it >asks if i want to play it with him >dad plays on my old account while i play on my new one >we have fun together for hours >mfw thank you dad. you made my day today.

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Anon gets engaged | /r/Greentext

File: bale-1.jpg (48 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/01/23 (Fri)08:51:13 No.74583923 >>74583939 >>74583958 >>74584089 >>74584840 >>74584887 >Gf asks me about my sexual past (she's Christian, so is basically aksing if I was a degenerate) >Think about all the times I jacked off to loli p--- or cross dressed >Say: "Ya know, I used to struggle with that stuff, but God saved me" >Get engaged

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Anon taking things too far | /r/Greentext

34m (8/31 21:32) 905306825.0 Re - 0 Img JPG 111KB (1300 x 700) Dallas-Express-Photo-9-1.jpg 2770 >me be >taking a year long road trip across America in the 90s >right before I left a town or city, I'd pay a h----- to have sex with me >once I finished, I'd beat them up and take my money back plus whatever they had on them and then flee the city ●●● >never got caught and I made like $7000 in profit that year >plus I got to beat random hookers up

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