Anon hacks his biology | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)16:53:15 No.905094458 9 KB JPG >be me >biohacker focused on male vitality >spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep >Ice baths >gigachad testosterone levels achieved >read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids >read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles >stop having sex with wife >stop taking care of son >testosterone goes up 21 points >Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers >wife won't talk to me >son cries a lot and grades dropped >told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon realizes that now | /r/Greentext

1h (8/28 9:06) 905114573 · 6 Re - 2 Img PNG 183KB (720 × 684) 2A8BA7EA-B02F-4825-B7E5-D2578FE436EF.png 2 Replies >be me >laying in bed trying to sleep >end up thinking about childhood stuff as one does : >remember my first grade teacher >early to mid 20s and fairly pretty >she would hug me alot for some reason when no one was around >f------ dawns on me >I don't think she was supposed to be doing that bros

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Why are chads not chads? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Col 74 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)20:01:50 No.74535563 There are incels who are one or more of >6' >white >have money Explain how you managed to f--- up this badly. Anonymous >>74535563 (OP) # am stupid, next question (only have two of the three, though) 08/27/23(Sun)20:04:21 No.74535581

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Anon should probably get a priest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous What do I do 61 KB PNG 08/21/23 (Mon)07:47:06 No.904718234 >be me >13 >have sleep paralysis >i see a figure in the corner >it comes close to me >whispers: "You love Danny?" >i wake up with cold sweat >danny is my dog >he dies the next day >become depressed as s--- >fast forward 3 years later >go to sleep after long day at work >sleep paralysis again >same demon from 3 yrs ago >comes close to my ear again >coldsweat.gif >"you love [My brothers name] ?" >ohssit.png >wake up >after 2 days brother takes his own life Is this a coincidence? Or should I start going back to church?

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Britannia maybe rules the waves | /r/Greentext

0 English Channel Calais Hazebrouck Étaples ARTOIS Somme 100 km Zeebrugge Ostend Armentières Scheldt Arras Amiens PICARDY Ypres Seine Paris FRANCE Compiègne LINE Mons Arras, Apr-May 1917 FLANDERS Third Ypres, Jul-Nov 1917 Passchendaele Messines, fun 1917 Some, Jul-Nov 191 Oise THE NETHERLANDS Eindhoven Cambrai, Nov-Dec 1917 Antwerp 1916-1917 Reims "Brussels BELGIUM GERMAN WITHDRAWAL TO HINDENBURG LINE, MAR APR 1917 Sedan Second Aisne, Apr-May 191 CHAMPAGNE Marne Liège Aisne Meuse Verdun ARGONNE ARDENNES Duisburg Aachen Luxembourg Verdun Feb-Dec 1916 Metz LORRAINE Nancy GERMANY Cologne Coblenz ALSACE Rhine Strasbourg >Britannia rules the waves >allows lines to stagnate for years instead of outflanking the Huns from the sea What were they thinking?

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anon is a lawyer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous lawyer problems 30 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)16:04:00 No.905092092 >be me >baby lawyer making big boy money >invite one of my seniors out to lunch one day and he says yes but to leave without him and he'll catch up >arrive at cafe and wait by myself for about half an hour >figure he got caught up in some big project so nbd >get a text from him that he'll be a little late because he underestimated how long of a walk it would be >lol ok then, pull out my laptop and start working >an hour passes before he finally arrives >he kicks the door open kramer style, out of breath, his cheap suit drenched in sweat, clinging to him like saran wrap >"amazing day for a sweating!" he exclaims to no one in particular, every word punctuated by deep breaths >chuckle and invite him to table >asked him why he walked, he claims buses are "financially unsustainable" >he orders a tap water, tells the waitress to "keep 'em comin" with a wink >conversation is normal for a while but eventually veers into his living situation >I recognize the neighborhood he lives in, it's basically the ghetto of ghettos >he lives with 3 other roommates (2 of them welfare artists and the other he's not sure what he does exactly but is pretty sure he sells crack) >tells me it's worth it though because of all the money he saves >ask him how he gets to work because said neighborhood is so far from firm >tells me he used to take the bus but he kept getting yelled at for getting on the back and not paying >did bike for a while but it got stolen

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Anons think about animal names | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 315 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)04:59:32 No.4602745 my sister used to pull their wings off and joke that they were "walks". >>4602939 # >>4602963 # : Anonymous 136 KB JPG >>4602937 # 08/27/23(Sun)02:12:42 No.4602684 >is called fly >flies fascinating. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)05:10:13 No.4602748 >swims >isn't called a swim w-- 08/27/23(Sun)12:01:32 No.4602937 >>4602748 # >is called a fish >is the one getting fished

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Anon recounts a childhood memory | /r/Greentext

File: images.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:05:05 No.74531034 >>74531069 >>74531073 >Be me, five years old. >Live in a townhouse and sometimes play in the front yard. >Neighbor lets their dogs s--- everywhere, so there's lots of s--- in the common yard. >Step on it frequently. >Dad finally gets fed up about all the dog s---, starts talking about how he's going to scoop it all up with a snow shovel and dump it right in front of the offending neighbor's yard for them to deal with. >Sitting in the living room watching TV and my dad comes into the house with a snow shovel completely full of s---. Probably five pounds of s---. >He's blown away by how much s--- he picked up and needed to show the family. >Mom is not thrilled. Yells at him to get the f--- out of the house with that. >He turns around to go back outside and accidentally slams the shovel into the bookcase, dumping the entire load of s---. >S--- goes everywhere. On the carpet, on the bookshelf, behind the bookshelf. >Mom is furious and also trying not to get sick from the smell. >Dad cleans it up and finally dumps it in the neighbor's yard. >Neighbor sees him do it and yells at him, saying it's not her dog's s---. >Neighbor says she'll prove it by showing him where her dog actually s----, and shows my dad her back patio area, which was covered in s---. >Dad apologizes, scoops up the five pounds of s--- yet again and properly disposes of it. Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:10:30 No.74531069 >>74531034 (OP) # Your dad shat all over the garden didn't he? Anonymous 08/27/23(Sun)18:11:04 No.74531073 >>74531034 (OP) # F--- you reddit. Put me in the screenshot.

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Cat-Anon has a dilemma | /r/Greentext

image 2023-05-19_185007916.png 84 KB PNG >be me >minding my own business >suddenly a random hooman appears out of nowhere >he says "pspsps" What should I do fellow catons? Can I approach safely or I should break his feelings?

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Can't win 'em all | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ITS OVER 6 KB PNG 08/27/23(Sun)12:11:12 No.89979678 >Parents at 25 were married and already had a house while making $7 & $8 an hour >Me at 25 still a KHV living in a s----- appartment on an 80k/year engineering salary

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Anon exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/27/23(Sun)15:34:23 No.74530000 >be me >exist >the end

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(Meta) So the joke is that anon once again turns out to be a massive homosexual | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous y 234 KB JPG, 1 Reply 01/16/23(Mon)21:46:11 No.892766144 >be me >average straight guy You already know View Thread

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Leafmaxxing | /r/Greentext

/pol/439411512/ /pol/439411512 Anonymous VDW5CrVe 31 minutes ago So I wore a baby pacifier to school and now everyone's doing it Thebentis cserbis This School Baby Pacifier Trend Could Ron Your Teeth d 12 REPLIES FRE** Zoomers are not OK Anonymous +v/1cSjF 27 minutes ago >>439411512 (OP) I hate Americans so much it's unreal 11 REPLIES C: 439411512 439411923 ...

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