Jigsaw visits /tv/ | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 538 KB PNG 08/15/23(Tue)00:44:23 No.188751441 >my rip your head off torture machine 5000... le killed someone? 08/15/23(Tue)00:49:26 No.188751624 : Anonymous >go outside with a friend >lead him onto the street >tell him "You have a choice. You can either stay here and wait for a car to run you over, or you can leave the street and live" >He chooses to stay and gets hit by a car >This somehow makes me a murderer This is the logic of retards who say Jigsaw could be charged with anything else but mischief.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon likes chicken | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: maxresdefault.jpg (65 KB, 1280x720) >starts talking >it's a guy >start stuttering and walk out thedoor >forget to pay >get banned from store Pic related Why am I like this bros. The industrial complex and why I can't get bitches Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)09:57:13 No.74380576 ► >be me >average guy except a lil bit bulkier because I was an army guy >pretty good conversational skills (not retarded sounding while talking to normal people) >at store >bee line for chicken isle >not black but love chicken >Go to checkout >11/10 qt cashier

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Anon has a shower fiasco | /r/Greentext

File: 1691418788433600.jpg (131 KB, 1080x1078) 55575 O /r9k/ the waffle stomp dilemma Anonymous 08/14/23 (Mon)01:35:44 No.74375773 [Reply] >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? □ Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)02:04:50 No.74376026 >>74375773 No anon, you should not. You have just written an actually funny greentext. Thanks for the kek.

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Anon can't move on | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG >Be me, 21 >Skinny incelfag no longer >Got first gf >Both virgins, decided to rent a room Horny as s---, kissing starts >Sloppywetsounds.mp3 >Anon I want to try 69 >Points her ass in my face >Real ass person, Boner harder than twin towers >Started eating her p---- >She rest her knees on my side rib >Ate her to climax >She puts enough force on her knees >Side rib boke >Screamed louder than muslim praising Allah >Sent to hospital, didn't talk much after that >Broke up after 2 months >Ass no longer turns me on >Literally afraid when girls go on top of me >Back to being incelfag HOW THE F--- DO I MOVE ON FROM THIS?

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anon wants to talk about games with character conflict | /r/Greentext

Ideal Duo Combination big guy Small Cute girl I R--- I HATE REPE Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:38:54 No.647274395 [1] [Reply] ✓ >game has character conflicts Anonymous 08/14/23(Mon)13:42:45 No.647274617 ✓ why does she hate rope

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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

>be me >smokin some of that giggle bush >super high, dont realize that the smoke has drifted under the door of the apt >neighbors call police >wth 74 KB JPG >police knock, I open door Hello sir. We received a call about you smoking cannabis. I can smell it already, so just come with me Anon. >mind races No officer, this is a magic bag of weed. >he steps in, asks Now how tf is that? >start explaining Officer, when I try to get rid of it, it just reappears in my pocket. I'll prove it! >he gets the face, pic related >bring him to bathroom Watch >throw bag in toilet, flush, then do nothing >he looks around confused Where are the drugs Anon? >mfw it worked What drugs?

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Anon is what he is and finds the joys with it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB JPG 08/09/23(Wed)22:50:20 No.74332767 >be me >ratord >find a job at a warehouse >constantly break something/tasks >everyone thinks im retarded >women in my job talk to me like they would talk to a baby >get turned on by that see you later virgins 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon gets sent to eeby deeby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/23(Tue)00:35:32 No.904356857 1EE84 DEE84 IMG_2898.jpg 543 KB JPG >In elevator at work >push button to go to the 15th floor >numbers go up 1-14 on screen >Elevator stops >Screen says "EEBY DEEBY" f------ christ alive help me

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anonette goes to school with autists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB PNG 08/14/23 (Mon)18:04:36 No.904339030 >be me, 19f >decide to take a course for life skills, whatev >all the students are disabled or full on autists >want to punch them, don't >one of the genetic defect cumbags is actually a normal looking, cute girl >find out she has severe mental health problems >justlikeme.jpeg >we are roommates >possiblefriend.png >don't ask her to be friends because I just moved in anons, what should I do? do I leave or do I stay and risk becoming retarded?

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Anon has regrets | /r/Greentext

Gayporn has way too many views a lot of you are lying Screenshot_20230805-023432.png 1.12 MB PNG >be me >Having a great day reading books and s--- >Remember the time I posted my c--- to 4chan and everyone made fun of it for being micro and circumcised >Day ruined

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous the waffle stomp dilemma 5557 131 KB JPG 08/13/23(Sun)21:35:44 No.74375773 >be me, 19 years old >taking a nice cold shower after a morning of working out >i have to take a s--- but didnt wanna get my toilet wet >decides to s--- in the shower and waffle stomp my s--- >tries to wipe s--- off the bottom of my feet >slipsintheshower.jpeg >accidentally lands on a small shampoo bottle and has a 6 inch bottle of shampoo rammed in my a------ instantly >i start screaming in pain >mombargesintobathroom.png >she comes into the bathroom as i am taking the shampoo bottle out of my ass with s--- everywhere on the floor >she starts to bawl her eyes out because she thinks im gay >dad comes in and beats me because he is a massive trumpy >couldnt even explain myself even if i tried in the moment 3 Replies >tries explaining afterwards but the damage was done and now my family thinks im a f----- should i just kill myself?????? View Thread

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Anon is forgetful | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: dokRCjAB 35 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)12:55:01 No.55835042 >at work >go take a piss >forgot for a second that I'm not work from home anymore >walk over to the sink >pull my c--- out >pull back my foreskin and wash my glans >secretary girl was looking for me and walks in on me washing my d--- >awkward and shes like "sorry" and scuttles away >come back to my desk >the girls are giggling >try explaining that washing the penis is very important and that there is nothing funny about this >they are like "what?" (turns out they laughed about something else and had no clue what I said) >got a mail from HR they want to talk about something >the secretary girl is avoiding eye contact with me now will I be fired or do you think there is a chance I can keep the job?

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Anon doesn't like Vegans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 08/14/23(Mon)17:24:21 No.74384806 >deer gets torn to shreds and eaten alive by wolves >fine >guy shoots deer in head, instantly killing it, then having a nice dinner >bad why do vegans believe this 16 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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