Anon wants to save his nephew | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)13:11:50 No.74311486 >my sister and her husband are having their first child >they unironically want to name him squilliam how do i stop this

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon's coworker discovers greentexts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)14:04:39 No.74311991 >coworker discovers greentexts >calls them "greater than symbol stories"

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1,000 years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me. | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous 08/07/23 (Mon)21:51:05 No.903954947 >be me, asian amerifag >high school senior, kissless virgin >cant drive, all my friends go off campus for lunch >hot as hell so go to school library >pretty much all underclassmen/people i don't know >guy im kinda friends with is there, what the hell >sit down across from him, he's cool >chat a little bit, conversation eventually dies down >few minutes later this girl sits down across from him, right next to me >somewhat frizzy dirty blonde hair, good fashion sense, hazel eyes, really nice smile, 10/10 body >apparently shes friends with guy >notice shes doing work on her computer, we talk and laugh about the class >wait.. >i took that class in freshman year >shes a sophomore >>903955199 >im a senior >oh well >the three of us chat together, we laugh and talk about partying, weed, people, etc >lunch ends and we exchange names >never speak to her again >add her on social media, she adds me back >beautiful in her pictures >sometimes see her walking home across the (4-lane) street from me, never think to approach her bc of age difference >ffw now >gradded hs, college in a few months >randomly remember her >dont know her age, wouldnt be surprised if shes 16+ >remember im young for my grade level >im still 17 bros... was that a missed opportunity? should i message her anyway even now just to see if something happens? i think we have at least a few similar interests. or did i do well to stay out of it? Anonymous 08/07/23(Mon)21:56:02 No.903955199 >>903954947 (OP) missed your f------ chance f-- dont go back to the past, just make sure to not miss out again

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Anon uses Snapchat | /r/Greentext

Snapchat free stalking 65 KB PNG >Be me >Have Snapchat >Dumb people have there location always on >basacilly free stalking >Have party on Saterday >Qt.3.14 is invited >She has her Snapchat location on >Put on my nicest shirt on >Go to the party >She isn't there >Wait a bit >1 hour passes >Go to the bathroom >Take a pee >Open Snapchat to see where she is >She is at an other party >Mfw

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Anon has to deal with a ham planet. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:18:37 No.650816867 ► >>650816966 >>650817694 >>650818031 >>650820819 File: 1446832947686.png (316 KB, 579x579) >work the front desk at a hotel in Galveston, Tx >easy day, just dicking around on my phone when IT enters the lobby >half man, half beanbag chair, easily 400+ lbs. >start praying that the once human entity doesn't trip, fall and collapse the building with me inside >beanbag man gets to the counter and leans on it, visibly out of breath >"H-Hi, checking in?" >planet Ham of the McDonald's galaxy tells me he has a reservation for a room on the 7th floor >take his card, give him his key, yadda yadda yadda >entire time I'm holding back gagging because he smells like roadkill >hamgalaxy starts making his way to the elevators >get an idea >"Sir, I apologize but the elevator is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs to the 7th floor." >7th. F------. Floor. >his face when >dis n---- gon die.fat >the walking heart attack breaths a deep sigh, preparing himself for the journey ahead. >hop over to the security cams because I know this s---'s gon be good >Lardex, Destroyer of Buffets takes 3 minutes to clear the first flight of stairs For comparison, you can get to the second floor in about 10 seconds at a brisk walk >gets to second floor, immediately gets a coke from the vending machine, plops down on a chair and rests >concerned for the structural integrity of that chair Some time later I went to check on the chair, it was, no f------ joke, soaked in ass sweat. Had to throw it out as to not spread his beetus. >the human garbage disposal sits there, contemplating all the bad decisions that got him that fat for about 5 minutes >have to tend to some work for about ten minutes >apparently people were wondering why the building was caving in >get back to the cameras and see white shrek on the third floor >swear to God, lying on the floor >people would walk over or past him like the pile of garbage he was cont. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:19:30 No.650816966 ► >>650817553 >>650817694 >>650817823 >>650817999 >>650819741 >>650819773 >>650820077 >>650820295 >>650820718 >>650820798 >>650820819 >>650816867 >stairs to the 4th floor are being renovated >the few at the top are just wooden planks on one side >leave some police tape kinda stuff in the middle of the stairs to direct people >fatsy can't fit on the good half of the stairs >mumbling to myself "Come oooooonnn... Do iiiiiiittt." >Snorlax steps too far to the right >steps on a wooden plank >it cracks under his quadruple digit weight >man-t--- is now waist deep in floor >Prayers answered.gov >calls the front desk to bitch at us >tell him we had warnings all over the f------ place >"OH, (DEEP BREATHING) WELL CAN YOU GUYS (GASP FOR AIR) AT LEAST SEND SOMEONE UP (SANDWICH) TO HEL-" >hang up >manboobs kind of waddles himself out by rolling back and forth Pretty impressive actually >reaches the 4th >half way there, the destination is at ham >clears the 5th stairway, no problem after about 42 years >gets to the top of the 6th stairway, his floor is just 4 steps away >hamplanet braces himself, leaning on the wall >what the f--- this n---- doin.burger >fatsy bends over and just vomits >not just a little spittle, like a baby, he is recreating Niagra f------ falls with vomit >puddles at his feet and trickles down the steps like a beautiful river >see chunks of undigested food/people in the gallons of vomit and stomach acid >the man of a thousand lunches just lifts his head, wipes his mouth with his wrist and just keeps going >unphased by the lake of spew he goes to his room >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:26:28 No.650817823 ► >>650816966 HOLY F------ KEK OF ALL KEKS I HAVENT LAUGHED SO HARD INA LONG TIME. Thanks anon Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:26 No.650820819 File: kermit Lol.gif (63 KB, 120x120) LOL >>650816867 >>650816966 TOP KEK screenshotting this. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:25:26 No.650817694 File: 1438956505392.jpg (115 KB, 413x395) >>650816867 >>650816966 11/10 my sides are in another dimension. Oh f--- I hope that is real. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:18 No.650820798 ► >>650816966 >the destination is at ham F------ dying Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:24:23 No.650817553 ► >>650816966 >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla tears are rolling down my face, good job anon

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Anon the revolutionary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:42:52 No.903971582 >early morning, laying in bed next to sleeping wife >think of a genius business idea that will change world >people are going to write books about me one day it's that good >wife turns to me quickly to snuggle but her chin hits my nose >f---! Do you realize what this means /b/? >can't ever tell book writers and historians the origin of the idea >if they find out, instead of revolutionary, it's going to sound silly That woman has tarnished my legacy I'm so f------ mad

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Anon is Enslaved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MakeAGIF.com 08/06/23(Sun)08:22:41 No.903856860 1.79 MB GIF >wake up >work 12 hours >job has a no-salary policy >tip only >earn nothing >go home >try to wash clothes >no fabrics can handle warm water >tfw have to buy new clothing after each use >tfw 90% of products are designed to break immediately >break the second you touch them >go to eat >1 meal = 300 000 calories >no nutrition other than fat, salt, and sugar >only designed to make you addicted, not healthy >spend the last hour on my phone in my bed >Al doing art >Al doing creative writing >Al making music >Al doing all human hobbies >mfw can't afford food >mfw can't afford rent >mfw can't afford a house >mfw can't afford a family >mfw can't afford an education Capitalism is slavery.

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Femanon’s bf is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 89 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:48:56 No.903971842 >me, 26f >get boyfriend, 32m >he lightly bites my arm to show affection >like takes my arm and places his teeth on it like fake biting and smiles Is he retarded what the f--- is that

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Anon gets robbed....... | /r/Greentext

Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Godspeed Anon.. | /r/Greentext

Women are f------ c---- from hell : An Women are f------ c---- from h(...) 20 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)17:51:00 No.903974371 > be 19 year old me > just moved to another foriegn european country. > all alone, no friends > s---.png > started from the bottom, > created a new friends group, Best friends! > we hang out 24/7 > relaxing.mp3 > after 2 years, met a woman > Fell inlove, > she is the one > treated her like a queen, date and sex > bestLife.wav > living the dream > after 1 year of dating introduced her to my friends group that i created from scratch. > f----- my best friend, > dumped me, > get thrown out of the friend group that i created > i am a ghost now > no friends, no family, > F---.jpg This almost happened two years ago and they moved together. She doesn't talk to me, the all ignore me My old best friend doesn't even look at me when i see him in the City Should i just rope myself?

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Anon is an revolutionary artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa 13 KB PNG 22 Replies 13 Images 12 KB PNG 08/15/19(Thu)09:00:55 No.8561239 watermelephant : Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa >>8563676 # View Thread 08/15/19(Thu)21:29:51 No.8563668 >>8561993 # lemonkey

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Anon questions some design choices....... | /r/Greentext

125 KB JPG >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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Why didn't anyone think of this? | /r/Greentext

Potato-Field..jpg 234 KB JPG I read 100m2 of land can produce 1 ton of potatos or €1,000 at retail. Can you get rich if you own a shitton of land? Anonymous (ID: CUPMNEZC 10/03/22(Mon)10:42:10 No.398112991 >>398112469 (OP) # >Anon discovers agriculture

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