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Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)13:11:50 No.74311486 >my sister and her husband are having their first child >they unironically want to name him squilliam how do i stop this

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Anon's coworker discovers greentexts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)14:04:39 No.74311991 >coworker discovers greentexts >calls them "greater than symbol stories"

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1,000 years from now there will be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me. | /r/Greentext

□ Anonymous 08/07/23 (Mon)21:51:05 No.903954947 >be me, asian amerifag >high school senior, kissless virgin >cant drive, all my friends go off campus for lunch >hot as hell so go to school library >pretty much all underclassmen/people i don't know >guy im kinda friends with is there, what the hell >sit down across from him, he's cool >chat a little bit, conversation eventually dies down >few minutes later this girl sits down across from him, right next to me >somewhat frizzy dirty blonde hair, good fashion sense, hazel eyes, really nice smile, 10/10 body >apparently shes friends with guy >notice shes doing work on her computer, we talk and laugh about the class >wait.. >i took that class in freshman year >shes a sophomore >>903955199 >im a senior >oh well >the three of us chat together, we laugh and talk about partying, weed, people, etc >lunch ends and we exchange names >never speak to her again >add her on social media, she adds me back >beautiful in her pictures >sometimes see her walking home across the (4-lane) street from me, never think to approach her bc of age difference >ffw now >gradded hs, college in a few months >randomly remember her >dont know her age, wouldnt be surprised if shes 16+ >remember im young for my grade level >im still 17 bros... was that a missed opportunity? should i message her anyway even now just to see if something happens? i think we have at least a few similar interests. or did i do well to stay out of it? Anonymous 08/07/23(Mon)21:56:02 No.903955199 >>903954947 (OP) missed your f------ chance f-- dont go back to the past, just make sure to not miss out again

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Anon uses Snapchat | /r/Greentext

Snapchat free stalking 65 KB PNG >Be me >Have Snapchat >Dumb people have there location always on >basacilly free stalking >Have party on Saterday >Qt.3.14 is invited >She has her Snapchat location on >Put on my nicest shirt on >Go to the party >She isn't there >Wait a bit >1 hour passes >Go to the bathroom >Take a pee >Open Snapchat to see where she is >She is at an other party >Mfw

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Anon has to deal with a ham planet. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:18:37 No.650816867 ► >>650816966 >>650817694 >>650818031 >>650820819 File: 1446832947686.png (316 KB, 579x579) >work the front desk at a hotel in Galveston, Tx >easy day, just dicking around on my phone when IT enters the lobby >half man, half beanbag chair, easily 400+ lbs. >start praying that the once human entity doesn't trip, fall and collapse the building with me inside >beanbag man gets to the counter and leans on it, visibly out of breath >"H-Hi, checking in?" >planet Ham of the McDonald's galaxy tells me he has a reservation for a room on the 7th floor >take his card, give him his key, yadda yadda yadda >entire time I'm holding back gagging because he smells like roadkill >hamgalaxy starts making his way to the elevators >get an idea >"Sir, I apologize but the elevator is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs to the 7th floor." >7th. F------. Floor. >his face when >dis n---- gon die.fat >the walking heart attack breaths a deep sigh, preparing himself for the journey ahead. >hop over to the security cams because I know this s---'s gon be good >Lardex, Destroyer of Buffets takes 3 minutes to clear the first flight of stairs For comparison, you can get to the second floor in about 10 seconds at a brisk walk >gets to second floor, immediately gets a coke from the vending machine, plops down on a chair and rests >concerned for the structural integrity of that chair Some time later I went to check on the chair, it was, no f------ joke, soaked in ass sweat. Had to throw it out as to not spread his beetus. >the human garbage disposal sits there, contemplating all the bad decisions that got him that fat for about 5 minutes >have to tend to some work for about ten minutes >apparently people were wondering why the building was caving in >get back to the cameras and see white shrek on the third floor >swear to God, lying on the floor >people would walk over or past him like the pile of garbage he was cont. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:19:30 No.650816966 ► >>650817553 >>650817694 >>650817823 >>650817999 >>650819741 >>650819773 >>650820077 >>650820295 >>650820718 >>650820798 >>650820819 >>650816867 >stairs to the 4th floor are being renovated >the few at the top are just wooden planks on one side >leave some police tape kinda stuff in the middle of the stairs to direct people >fatsy can't fit on the good half of the stairs >mumbling to myself "Come oooooonnn... Do iiiiiiittt." >Snorlax steps too far to the right >steps on a wooden plank >it cracks under his quadruple digit weight >man-t--- is now waist deep in floor >Prayers answered.gov >calls the front desk to bitch at us >tell him we had warnings all over the f------ place >"OH, (DEEP BREATHING) WELL CAN YOU GUYS (GASP FOR AIR) AT LEAST SEND SOMEONE UP (SANDWICH) TO HEL-" >hang up >manboobs kind of waddles himself out by rolling back and forth Pretty impressive actually >reaches the 4th >half way there, the destination is at ham >clears the 5th stairway, no problem after about 42 years >gets to the top of the 6th stairway, his floor is just 4 steps away >hamplanet braces himself, leaning on the wall >what the f--- this n---- doin.burger >fatsy bends over and just vomits >not just a little spittle, like a baby, he is recreating Niagra f------ falls with vomit >puddles at his feet and trickles down the steps like a beautiful river >see chunks of undigested food/people in the gallons of vomit and stomach acid >the man of a thousand lunches just lifts his head, wipes his mouth with his wrist and just keeps going >unphased by the lake of spew he goes to his room >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:26:28 No.650817823 ► >>650816966 HOLY F------ KEK OF ALL KEKS I HAVENT LAUGHED SO HARD INA LONG TIME. Thanks anon Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:26 No.650820819 File: kermit Lol.gif (63 KB, 120x120) LOL >>650816867 >>650816966 TOP KEK screenshotting this. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:25:26 No.650817694 File: 1438956505392.jpg (115 KB, 413x395) >>650816867 >>650816966 11/10 my sides are in another dimension. Oh f--- I hope that is real. Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:48:18 No.650820798 ► >>650816966 >the destination is at ham F------ dying Anonymous 11/08/15(Sun)18:24:23 No.650817553 ► >>650816966 >a lone Viking, crossing the fabled plains, towards his final resting place in Valhalla tears are rolling down my face, good job anon

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Anon the revolutionary | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 37 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:42:52 No.903971582 >early morning, laying in bed next to sleeping wife >think of a genius business idea that will change world >people are going to write books about me one day it's that good >wife turns to me quickly to snuggle but her chin hits my nose >f---! Do you realize what this means /b/? >can't ever tell book writers and historians the origin of the idea >if they find out, instead of revolutionary, it's going to sound silly That woman has tarnished my legacy I'm so f------ mad

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Anon is Enslaved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MakeAGIF.com 08/06/23(Sun)08:22:41 No.903856860 1.79 MB GIF >wake up >work 12 hours >job has a no-salary policy >tip only >earn nothing >go home >try to wash clothes >no fabrics can handle warm water >tfw have to buy new clothing after each use >tfw 90% of products are designed to break immediately >break the second you touch them >go to eat >1 meal = 300 000 calories >no nutrition other than fat, salt, and sugar >only designed to make you addicted, not healthy >spend the last hour on my phone in my bed >Al doing art >Al doing creative writing >Al making music >Al doing all human hobbies >mfw can't afford food >mfw can't afford rent >mfw can't afford a house >mfw can't afford a family >mfw can't afford an education Capitalism is slavery.

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Femanon’s bf is special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 89 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)09:48:56 No.903971842 >me, 26f >get boyfriend, 32m >he lightly bites my arm to show affection >like takes my arm and places his teeth on it like fake biting and smiles Is he retarded what the f--- is that

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Anon gets robbed....... | /r/Greentext

Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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Godspeed Anon.. | /r/Greentext

Women are f------ c---- from hell : An Women are f------ c---- from h(...) 20 KB JPG 08/08/23(Tue)17:51:00 No.903974371 > be 19 year old me > just moved to another foriegn european country. > all alone, no friends > s---.png > started from the bottom, > created a new friends group, Best friends! > we hang out 24/7 > relaxing.mp3 > after 2 years, met a woman > Fell inlove, > she is the one > treated her like a queen, date and sex > bestLife.wav > living the dream > after 1 year of dating introduced her to my friends group that i created from scratch. > f----- my best friend, > dumped me, > get thrown out of the friend group that i created > i am a ghost now > no friends, no family, > F---.jpg This almost happened two years ago and they moved together. She doesn't talk to me, the all ignore me My old best friend doesn't even look at me when i see him in the City Should i just rope myself?

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Anon is an revolutionary artist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa 13 KB PNG 22 Replies 13 Images 12 KB PNG 08/15/19(Thu)09:00:55 No.8561239 watermelephant : Anonymous (ID: 3KB6HSxa >>8563676 # View Thread 08/15/19(Thu)21:29:51 No.8563668 >>8561993 # lemonkey

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Anon questions some design choices....... | /r/Greentext

125 KB JPG >physically weak >even the strongest specimens have only 1/10 the strength of a bear >"intelligent" >only about half of the population intelligent enough to make a difference >babies take 9 months to be born >and 15 years before they are useful >body too hot for semen to be produced >testicles need to be outside the body >put them in the warmest place possible why has humanity survived this long with such a retarded design?

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Why didn't anyone think of this? | /r/Greentext

Potato-Field..jpg 234 KB JPG I read 100m2 of land can produce 1 ton of potatos or €1,000 at retail. Can you get rich if you own a shitton of land? Anonymous (ID: CUPMNEZC 10/03/22(Mon)10:42:10 No.398112991 >>398112469 (OP) # >Anon discovers agriculture

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Greentext Stories - Anon wants to save his nephew | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)13:11:50 No.74311486 >my sister and her husband are having their first child >they unironically want to name him squilliam how do i stop this

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