anon is jumping on his bed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

40 KB JPG >be me 5 years ago >buying a bed at store >store owner asks whats wrong with the old one >told her I was jumping on the bed >she gets flustered and changes the subject >just now realised "jumping on the bed" is a euphemism for sex >she thought i was having sex >was actually just jumping on the bed

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (627px x 409px)

File size: 229 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,691 Images

Moar:

tips fedora you are really beautiful | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Can't get women 185 KB JPG 07/24/23 (Mon)08:53:48 No.903127628 >6'4" >white >buff, tan and well kept >make 6 figs >approaching in broad daylight and being want to introduce myself >try to start a conversation and they are completely uninterested nice >every approach starts with "you are really beautiful" or something similar and that I >zero responses, even from ugly women, women think it's creepy or annoying What does it take? Legit I need help. I've tried grocery stores, gyms, public malls. >>903127825 # I'm always polite and I've worked sales my whole life so I understand interpersonal dynamics. I'm actually super normal. What the f--- do I do? I WFH and do not want to die alone. >>903127983 # : Anonymous >>903127628 (OP) # Please tell me this is a larp 07/24/23(Mon) 08:54:21 No.903127658 : Anonymous >>903127628 (OP) # >>every approach starts with "you are really beautiful" that's where you lose them, retard 07/24/23 (Mon)08:58:20 No.903127821

Pin

Anon's achievement are great | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 52 KB JPG Anonymous 156 KB JPG 07/21/23 (Fri)22:34:10 No.71124207 You will never have a friend circle. You will never have a girlfriend. You will never have sex. 07/21/23 (Fri)22:34:10 No.71124229 >>71124207 (OP) # So be it, life is still beautiful.

Pin

Anon overhears his parents | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Feels bad, man 28 KB JPG 07/23/23(Sun)00:19:57 No.74125541 >be me >haven't moved out of the womb yet >overhear my parents talking about an abortion >aw s--- >try attacking my mom when she brings it up so she doesnt do it >she wants to do it more now >goddamnit

Pin

Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/23/23(Sun)17:53:43 No.74134606 >>74134638 I am ashamed of myself, brothers. >end up talking to girl I met on reddit after she responded to my comment >we talk in messages for a week >huge paragraphs of messaging back n forth >end up exchanging phone numbers >we texts huge paragraphs back n forth >share selfies, family photos, plans to meet irl >she is from cali I am from midwest >2 weeks into talking she asked me why I wear a hat in all my pictures >admit to her it's my main insecurity and I wear a baseball cap often to hide it >she replies "I wish you were honest from the beginning, I've been so open and transparent with you. This feels awkward now. The most attractive thing a guy can be in confident in himself what would you guys do next? Ghost, call her? Met this girl 2 weeks ago on reddit, she lives across the US alone in Cali and makes a lot of stocks. Says she recently found Christ but demons often will torture her in her sleep...

Pin

Hmmmmmmmmm | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous M 07/03/23(Mon)22:09:30 No.73889121 pepe shrug.png 150 KB PNG >Older brother would let me use his computer to play minecraft when I was young >One day be f------ around, looking through files, generally being a nosy little s--- >Find his furry p--- folder, was the first time I was exposed to p--- >Masturbate and c-- for the first time, thought it was weird that they were animal people but boobs are boobs >Do this many more times, eventually stop using his PC when I got a phone at ~15 >Never developed a furry fetish, never seeked it out after I was able to search for my own p--- Explain. It's pretty weird that I never developed one now that I think about it.

Pin

Anon takes redpill ideology to college | /r/Greentext

IMG 2229 f (20 KB, 722x508) Anonymous 07/23/23(Sun)20:04:33 No.74133481 ► >>74133498 >>74133514 >>74133539 >>74133550 >>74133581 >>74133582 >>74133923 >be me >in intro ethics class >there is a class debate on virginity and social norms etc led by TA >girl across from me is staunch feminist and says virginity does not matter at all >she mentions offhand that she has a boyfriend and a body count of 8 >being a permavirgin this upsets me >I start talking about redpill beliefs and sexual economics, women are supposed to be virgins (mistake I know) >she says I'm being hypocritical since male virginity is seen as negative while female virginity is seen as positive >I use the tried and true key/lock analogy: >"A key that can open many locks is a master key, a lock that opens to any key is just a s----- lock" >legit felt like I had just blown her away >she looks at me like I'm being retarded and says: >"a sharpener that can sharpen every pencil is valuable, a pencil that's been in every sharpener is just useless" >goes on to argue that analogies are stupid and just show my argument is baseless >finishes talking and looks at me >like a full on idiot I just start stammering >"w-well, the thing is that doesn't, uh" >before I can formulate an argument the rest of the class starts laughing >can feel my cheeks burning >TA smirks and says "okay that's enough, let's move on" I haven't gone to class since. College in liberal states is the f------ worst.

Pin

Anon Goes to the Movies | /r/Greentext

2h (7/23 13:44) 187927508 62 Re . 8 Img PNG 183KB (400 x 400) ebb[1].png 18 Replies >watch oppenheimer in theaters for the first time since covid >screen has s--- contrast and is slightly out of focus >retard behinds me keeps knocking his foot into my seat >entire first 20 minutes of the movie ruined by people trying to find their seat and making everyone get up >phone lights everywhere >some a------ had his phone set to flash for notifications >smells like popcorn and BO >seats suck ass : >cannot go 5 minutes without some f----- getting up from their chair >hear constant "oh wow" and other stupid comments like they can't control what's in their head. >even the people I went with CANNOT help themselves but whisper something to me like "heh that actually happened by the way" >3 hours of this I am never going to the theaters again. it's a downgrade in every single way from watching at home and frankly modern audiences don't have the attention span to sit still and shut up and watch a movie so it's a lost cause all around. 2h (7/23 13:52). 187927875 8 Replies 2h (7/23 13:58). 187928108 >>187927875 can u kys? i'll pay you you can post your bait now im hungry : >>187927508 (OP) It gave you a story to tell oppenbro. Btw did you do the barbenheimer double or did you chud out and just watch the male movie because you are uncomfortable with your sexuality? :

Pin

Anon and his pencil sharpener | /r/Greentext

53 KB JPG >be me >4th grade >bring 3 sharpners to school >friend tells me thats a lot of sharpners >bring 3 more sharpners the next day >friend gives me his sharpner to grow my collection >start collecting more and more sharpners >go to stationary every week to by more sharpners >collect about 70 sharpners by the end of the month >start bringing a tiny bag to carry thoes sharpner >english teacher asks for a sharpner >offer her the bag thinking she'd be impressed >sees all my sharpners and writes a note to my parents >only allowed to bring 1 sharpner >idea.jpg >make a huge sharpner out of cardboard >dad helps me to color it with red and silver spray paint >display it on my table during the english period >get sent to the office

Pin

Which way western Man? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ZA IS CHEAPER THN 07/23/23(Sun)08:21:09 No.645005609 U Co-op game Pale American gloomy goth girl Tanned Japanese genki gyaru 時間 1684095051967047.png 1.56 MB PNG PARTY

Pin

Anon works at KFC | /r/Greentext

CIA 04/21/15 (Tue) 01:37:12 No.43748 >>43750 >>43752 >>43764 >>43788 >>44218 >>46243 >>47481 File (hide): 1429598232252.jpg (108.83 KB, 640x640, 1:1, e69.jpg) >Apply for a job at KFC >Score a same-day interview because the regional manager is in town >Nervous as f--- >Get to the interview a few minutes early >Forced to wait for the interviewer in the room by myself >Adopt CIA's cowboy stance to help calm my nerves >Interviewer shows up >Hand him my info folder >"Mr Interviewer, I'm Anon" >"Hi Anon, nice to meet you." >He sits >I sit >He opens my folder >Starts with the typical interview questions >The_insecurity_rises.bane >He gets to my references >"If I were to call every one of your references, what would they tell me?" >"They would be extremely longwinded" >He laughs >"You're a confident guy" >"For you." >He gives me an odd look like he's not sure what I meant >He brushes it off and continues >More questions >Eventually, he asks me where I see myself in 5 years >"Managing this resturaunt... with no dissatisfied customers." >"Good to see someone with some backbone applying for our company. Most of the people who've shaken hands with today had sweaty palms and cracking voices. When can you start?" Mfw Baneposting gave me the courage to ace my job interview, and I am now gainfully employed.

Pin

Anon is chatting with his co-workers. | /r/Greentext

>be office lunch >coworkers are (for some reason) talking about how many sexual partners they've had >despite being the quiet incel type, I've actually had 8 girls in my entire life 21 KB JPG >so mention that I've slept with 8 people while getting something from the fridge >one coworker: "escorts don't count, silly." everyone snickers >me (taking slight offense): "your cousins don't count either, cheryl"

Pin

Human artists exposed by anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/23/23(Sun)13:46:35 No.645027026 ✓ >>645027242 >>645027403 >>645027508 >>645027519 >>645027832 >>645030541 774.png (544 KB, 1500x1500) google yandex iqdb wait >I f----- love science! Just learn to code chud! Progress is a good thing! Automation is the only way forward. >WAIT GO BACK!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING PAID TO DRAW HAIRY FAT BLACK TRANNYS IN PASTEL COLORS! I COULDNT FORSEE THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE! >right click, SAVED! Yup that NFT is mine now, chud! >DELETE MY PICTURES FROM YOUR DATABASE NOWW >It's a ROMHACK it's not copyright infringement! It's a fan inspired transformative work! F--- the lawyers at Nintendo! >WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE AI IS USING MY ART WITHOUT PERMISSION AND TRANSFORMING IT INTO SOMETHING NEW!! >Gatekeeping is le BAD! Everything is for everyone! We will take the thing you love and corrupt it into a husk of its former greatness, and that's a good thing! >YOU CANT JUST GENERATE 100000 ANIME GIRL IMAGES! THIS IS CORRUPTING THE MEANING OF ART! PICK UP A PENCIL IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ARTIST >Don't bully a learning artist. Not every detail needs to be perfectly accurate, it's called a style! Everyone, no matter how skilled, is valid and amazing! >IS THAT AN OUT OF PLACE ELBOW?? IS THE LEFT ARM SLIGHTLY BIGGER THAN THE RIGHT?? THIS IS S---! YOU NEED TO HAVE PERFECT ANATOMY LIKE THOSE RACIST ROMAN STATUES I WANT TO TEAR DOWN! >heh, god isnt real CHUD. there is no afterlife, you WILL decompose in a box, you WILL become dust! We're all just sacks of meat floating on a rock in space!! >NOOOO AI ART LACKS HUMAN SOUL! IT LACKS INSPIRATION AND HUMAN SPIRIT! THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN ARE BEING SHAKEN TO THEIR CORE!! >Anything can be art! Two gay black trannies s------- in eachother's mouths? Wholesome! A jar full of some fat blue haired d---'s tampons?? Inspiring! Everything is ART! >NOOOO THIS CANT BE ART ITS NOT PERFECT ENOUGH!! UGH, JUST LOOK AT THE ARTIFACTS AND THE HAIR AND THE HAND ITS JUST ALLL WRONG!!! ITS NOT REAL ART! TYPING S--- INTO A TERMINAL AND GETTING AN IMAGE OUT ISNT ART (throwing my own s--- against a wall and putting a frame around it is THOUGH)

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes